A
male
age
41-50,
*orbav
writes:My wife and I are working out our problems in our marriage. The bomb that she dropped on me was her telling me that she is not sure she is still in love with me, but she still shows me affection, and we still are very intimate. Is she confused or is she able to seperate the sex from her feelings? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (30 April 2008):
 Opinion 1 -- as a man, you roll up being intimate and having a deep love as one overall emotion.
Opinion 2 -- women see sex and love as two separate distinct things.
So, when you said that you are still intimate with your wife, although she says she's not sure she loves you... it didn't seem too surprising to me.
My suggestion would be to try to get into a discussion about your love (her definition, not yours) then find out what it is she's feeling. LISTEN TO THE EMOTIONS she's trying to express and not THE ACT. You need to pull out the magic woman's conversation decoder ring for this one and really listen to what she thinks (correction: feels!) is wrong. Read between the lines. Is she not feeling that you care for her? Has your job stress reflected back on your relationship in some way you're not really paying attention to? If you're seriously interested in saving what you have, you need to convey to each other you're not ready to throw in the towel and are willing to communicate and get to the nitty gritty of the issues.
That's the best thing I can think to tell you... other than tread lightly and remember your wife is trying to express emotion (something us guys can easily tune out).
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (29 April 2008):
 In my experience, whenever a woman tells you that she's not sure about you, she's absolutely sure that she doesn't want you. Or, at least, when all is said and done she dumps you.
From your post, I see that you are waiting to see what she does. Don't do that. It's obvious that you still love her, but I think you have to act on the information. Whether she loves you or not, don't just put yourself in her hands. Only you can know what is right for you to do, but I don't think that doing nothing would help you.
Think of it this way: If you were not sure you loved someone, would you really think you love her? Would you understand that she acted on the information? There you go.
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