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... Send *iamine a private message | | | *iamine's profile:* I'm brutally honest, sometimes to the point of offence, I never hide under the secrecy of anonymous. I'm pro-porn and many people don't like this. I'm also non judgemental of different relationships and lifestyles. I'm pro-men and pro-women, I believe strongly in equality and happiness for both sexes, that's my definition of Feminism. And I'm an atheist, there aint no God in my world.
Mental Health Help (Depression, anxiety, bi-polar) Advice and support and mood charting: - http://www.patientslikeme.com
Helplines for UK visitors.
*The Samaritans.... http://www.samaritans.org/ UK: 08457 90 90 90 ROI: 1850 60 90 90
*Rape Crisis Centres... http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/index.php Tel:0808 802 9999
*Childline... http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx Tel: 0800 1111 (free to call and totally confidential)
*NHS... http://www.nhs.uk/Pages/HomePage.aspx
Type in your postcode to find the location of your nearest family planning clinic. Contraception is available free, and emergency contraception (taken within 72 hours, but sooner is better, 24 hours is best) can help prevent pregnancy if you have unprotected sex.
NHS Direct Telephone Hotline - 111
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He's mean and controlling and my children don't like him. Will he revert to the same monster again if we purchase a home together?
Q. I have posted on here so many times as I dont have anyone to talk to. What would you do in the following scenario? I am on the verge of buying a house with my second husband who I ended up having a seperate house from for the last 4 years as we had ...
A. 4 December 2012: You've done so well honeypie, you've done better than I thought you would. You sound stronger, you sound calm, you sound much happier.
"I dont want to cause anyone hurt"
Again, that's always the big problem.... again I'll translate... "I ... (read in full...)
I simply don't know how to move on from what I did and no-one is giving me any opportunity to do so because they blank me or look at me with loathing
Q. I was in an eighteen year relationship with someone who was a binge drinker and I finally plucked up the courage to leave him some months ago. I need help with some of the leftover crap from that please. My background: I got married at 18, p...
A. 5 December 2011: Thanks for the update, you really are a kind and thoughtful lady. Chocoholicforever knows more about that world than I do, and all her words were very wise, please consider her words carefully before you make your next move.
Blessings, and stre... (read in full...)
I was lied to about my husband and now I don't think I love him
Q. hi .... dear all .... i desperately need soem advice......... I am 29 years old married since 1 year 4 months.... i feel i have lost that love for my husband from the first few month itself.......because from the very first month i found the man ...
A. 3 December 2011: Hi Sweetwine, I have sent an answer to your private mailbox at the top of the page. But maybe you will get better answers on here from aunts who are Asian or from your part of the world. Don't worry babes, there is no point. Go or stay, it is u... (read in full...)
I simply don't know how to move on from what I did and no-one is giving me any opportunity to do so because they blank me or look at me with loathing
Q. I was in an eighteen year relationship with someone who was a binge drinker and I finally plucked up the courage to leave him some months ago. I need help with some of the leftover crap from that please. My background: I got married at 18, p...
A. 3 December 2011: Not sure I understand your world where it comes to education. For me, education is about the subject. You focus and study and get top marks, and then you go beyond that and get creative and write original stuff. That's what gets you in, not your ... (read in full...)
I prefer masturbation to girls!
Q. Is that normal? I've been on SSRIs for about a year and stopped a few weeks ago as i'd had enougn of feeling like a zombie and not being able to sleep at night and just being tired all the time and understanding nothing in my lectures. I'm 20 and i...
A. 3 December 2011: St Johns Wort is a natural herb, with few side effects. Not to be taken with anti-depressants or by women on contraceptives, because it can interfer with the way these tablets work and make them less effective. Often recommended by doctors for ... (read in full...)
Should I wait for the right one to lose my virginity or find a complete stranger on Craigslist?
Q. I am a 21 yr old male and I am a virgin. I am thinking about using Craigslist and having sex with a complete stranger to lose it. I know craigslist isn't the best place to go. . . My question is should I have sex with a stranger or wait until I ...
A. 3 December 2011: 21years is still young, no hurry or problem yet.. wait right now. Start thinking what kind of woman you want, and what kind of man you need to be to attract her. Work on yourself and gain more confidence. Go out and find friends, men friends and ... (read in full...)
Is it okay to have two wives?
Q. I have 7-year old wife to whom I have loved somuch and trust but later I realized she had had hidden lot of past history, for which I have gone through the hell and got fed up with thinking about but not able to leave her and go away and I had many ...
A. 3 December 2011: Many may have 2wives in India, but many men don't. You say you are angry with her past, so how can you promise to treat her and the new wife the same. Won't you be more please with the new wife and angry with the old wife? Also you don't want to ... (read in full...)
I miss the freedom and thrill of being single but I do love my boyfriend and don't want to lose him!
Q. I'm having a difficult time at the moment. I've been with my partner for 3 years now and I love him to pieces. However I miss the freedom and thrill of being single. I don't want to lose him as I love him so much but I'm not sure what to do. My boss ...
A. 3 December 2011: "Just a little bit of fun, where our partners wouldn't find out"
Trust me, it won't be just a bit of fun, and people often find out, especially if it's a guy from your work place.
I'm very confused, what type of love do you call it, when yo... (read in full...)
We're both virgins, should I expect him to be somewhat skilled?
Q. Okay, this might be a little odd and maybe shallow, but I was wondering: guys, how were you the first time you had sex? And girls, were you pleasantly surprised or not? I ask because my boyfriend and I are planning to have sex for the first time and...
A. 3 December 2011: So unfair, why should he be more skilled than you, just because he has a penis. That is very sexist. He's a virgin, so are you, so why should you place all the emphasis on him to know what he is doing. You both will be ignorant and innocent, you ... (read in full...)
Father with two kids and a persistent housewife
Q. We have a married couple with 2 kids where the husband wishes to divorce his wife but she wants to continue with the marriage. Here are some questions I'd like to get your answers to : 1)How can a single father protect himself and the kids when he...
A. 2 December 2011: Wait.. now I think about.. this is a man with a high powered job, so that means he has brains and he has money. Why does he need you to come here to ask about the law. Why doesn't he use his own lawyer.
How did he managed to get such a high pow... (read in full...)
Father with two kids and a persistent housewife
Q. We have a married couple with 2 kids where the husband wishes to divorce his wife but she wants to continue with the marriage. Here are some questions I'd like to get your answers to : 1)How can a single father protect himself and the kids when he...
A. 2 December 2011: Sigh.. you can't make any sense out of our answers, that's because we can't make much sense of your post. You present as a woman aged 22-25 and currently living in the USA. Are you just pretending and are really the husband but your too shy to say ... (read in full...)
Help me reach a decision regarding my mortage/stress situation
Q. Okay, this is not strictly a relationship question but it relates to the situation that I have been left in after a break up. If your health had been not good for some time (due to the stress of the relationship and also because of having to do ...
A. 2 December 2011: A but C sounds good, unfortunately there is a world wide recession on, so your not guaranteed to get a job abroad. Also you may find problems selling your flat, the housing market isn't that good now, lots of people are losing their jobs.
B Isn... (read in full...)
Father with two kids and a persistent housewife
Q. We have a married couple with 2 kids where the husband wishes to divorce his wife but she wants to continue with the marriage. Here are some questions I'd like to get your answers to : 1)How can a single father protect himself and the kids when he...
A. 2 December 2011: Blackmail.. nope. So he wants to divorce, but he wants to keep all the money to himself... Tell him to go and find a lawyer and an accountant.... (read in full...)
HELP Should I take my Husband of 30 years back,after he cheated 8 years ago.
Q. Hi should I forgive my Husband of 30 yrs. I found out last year that he had a 2yr affair with a woman he did a job for .This happened 8 yrs since when we were going though a really bad patch, I still carnt get over it and its been a year since i ...
A. 2 December 2011: All types of different views, but I guess most of us are talking from our own experiences. Divorce him or keep him, it's up to you, not up to other people. You know the man better than us. Just wanted to share my own experience, and it worked out ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 2 December 2011: "Boris, there is a third option: find a girl with values and morals towards intimacy that are the same as yours. They are rare, but to me, they are worth looking for." Well, I'm that kind of girl... my sexual history is so low, that I can tell ... (read in full...)
My abusive husband threatens to label me a bad mother if I leave him
Q. Our daughter is four. the other night I was so ashamed when my little girl tried to stop my husband hitting me. She physically tried to push him away. He is always kind to her and he waits until she is asleep before he starts to be nastier to me. I...
A. 2 December 2011: "Our daughter is four. the other night I was so ashamed when my little girl tried to stop my husband hitting me." (anon 30)
"Will my daughter hate me if I end up a single parent?" (anon 30)
Domestic violence harms children far much more than d... (read in full...)
Is it okay to have two wives?
Q. I have 7-year old wife to whom I have loved somuch and trust but later I realized she had had hidden lot of past history, for which I have gone through the hell and got fed up with thinking about but not able to leave her and go away and I had many ...
A. 2 December 2011: Think Muslims can have 3 wives, but check the laws of your country. But having 3 (or 2) wives is not as easy as that. According to the Koran, you must treat each wife totally equally. If you kiss one, you must kiss the other, if you give one ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel so depressed and sick at times? What can I do to overcome this?
Q. please help any advice or if you know why im feeling like this etc, but i have had drepression on and off and this year felt worse to the point of going to the doctor and i now see a counsellor which is good. im not working and living at home but i ...
A. 2 December 2011: Not enough information here to know how bad your depression is. There are two types, Situational Depression, caused by life stresses, like bereavement, lost of job, money troubles and things like that, and then there is Clinical Depression, which ... (read in full...)
My married lover wants to continue seeing me while he ties up loose ends with his soon to be ex-wife
Q. I am involved with a man who is still married but unhappy. he tells me he will file for divorce within the next 5 months because he is unhappy. he wants to wait to do it because she is not able to support herself financially due to their debt.......
A. 2 December 2011: "a man who is still married but unhappy. he tells me he will file for divorce within the next 5 months.... always says sweet things to me, but doesnt know what will happen or when he will be ready for me"
Yep, heard your story before, hundreds... (read in full...)
HELP Should I take my Husband of 30 years back,after he cheated 8 years ago.
Q. Hi should I forgive my Husband of 30 yrs. I found out last year that he had a 2yr affair with a woman he did a job for .This happened 8 yrs since when we were going though a really bad patch, I still carnt get over it and its been a year since i ...
A. 2 December 2011: OK babes, calm down, there is nothing wrong with what you are feeling. Remember, this is all new for you, for him it's 8 years ago. He's had time to work out his emotional feelings (guilt) in private. When people hurt us and break our trust it ... (read in full...)
I gave him a taste of his own medicine and we've ended it but it still bothers me!
Q. Hello, i need a little advice. Urrm where to start, so quite a few months back a new boy moved to my school, i had known him from being a baby, his family knew mine they are friends. So a few days before he moved i spoke to his mum on facebook and ...
A. 2 December 2011: Maybe it would help to talk to him, about your feelings and about the relationship and how you expect him to behave. No shouting, just getting everything clear.
Good luck - if he keeps acting like this though, dump him and dump her.... (read in full...)
I gave him a taste of his own medicine and we've ended it but it still bothers me!
Q. Hello, i need a little advice. Urrm where to start, so quite a few months back a new boy moved to my school, i had known him from being a baby, his family knew mine they are friends. So a few days before he moved i spoke to his mum on facebook and ...
A. 1 December 2011: Sorry, but you wasn't really interested from the start, and he probably felt rejected and unwanted. Your friend shows some interest in him, messing about, telling bad jokes, and off course he felt flattered, and so they joke about. Now your frien... (read in full...)
"Momma's boy" - attractive or not to women?
Q. Want to get some feedback from women here... I grew up without a father so my mother had to be both parents in a way. As a result, I've always been a "Momma's boy". She's not protective or invasive in my personal life we just have a very solid and ...
A. 1 December 2011: I only like men who are good to their mothers. If a guy doesn't look after his mother and sisters, then I won't even talk to him. But I'm not sure about how women feel where you are in SA.... (read in full...)
Do not connect to new husband..
Q. I am in love with my boss who is married and loves me too. I recently married a guy as per my parents wishes knowingly he is not my type but didnt had any options. I cannot leave the job because it pays me well with other benefits and has ample ...
A. 1 December 2011: Just read your follow up, so your boss loves you, and he's really nice... yep, read that story before. He loves you, but he stays with his wife, because he must love her more.. oh no, it's for the kids, if it wasn't for the kids he would be with ... (read in full...)
I think my crazy sister in law wants my husband!
Q. I think my sister in law is trying to destroy my marriage because she is jealous of me and hates me because she wants her brother, my husband. She is constantly putting me down but playing it off as joke so if I say anything it will seem as if I'm ...
A. 1 December 2011: Sigh.. chalice is right.. I didn't want to deal with the issue of incest or sexual abuse, it's too long to go into in this very short post. There is a possibility that as children your husband and his sister shared some sexual activity. This is ... (read in full...)
How can I change her mind? My wife has unexpectedly said she wants a divorce!
Q. My wife and I have been married for four years. I thought these were happy times for her, because we had just recently purchased a house together. I am attending school again, and working. We both are making good money and everything is was good. ...
A. 1 December 2011: I've been following your story, so sorry, but that's how things go sometime. You won't believe me now, but you are young and you have good prospects, you won't be alone for long, and choose wisely next time. There are a lot of wonderful women out ... (read in full...)
Would it be better to not get married and disappoint our families?
Q. I am due to get married in three months. For the past two years I have been catching my soon to be wife in darting chat rooms. She has been clumsy and left things around,including guys phone numbers. I have never been able to get past this as she ...
A. 1 December 2011: Disappoint the families now, she's not a respectful woman. Better now than later when you have to divorce.... (read in full...)
He's gone from callimg me "hot and sexy" to "beautiful and gorgeous," does it mean anything?
Q. Hi Guys, I realise this isn't a serious thing and it isn't a problem, I am just wondering and don't have anyone I can ask. Thanks for your responses in advance. I have been seeing a guy for a while now, he was my friend before hand and he has...
A. 1 December 2011: Usually it means that he's starting think about more than your body and he's starting to like you for yourself and your personality. Hot and sexy is nice, but that's a guy thinking mostly with his penis, beautiful and gorgeous is more respectful, ... (read in full...)
I think my crazy sister in law wants my husband!
Q. I think my sister in law is trying to destroy my marriage because she is jealous of me and hates me because she wants her brother, my husband. She is constantly putting me down but playing it off as joke so if I say anything it will seem as if I'm ...
A. 1 December 2011: Yep, if what you say is true, then she is acting very strange and seems to have some sexual desire for her brother, your husband. Now the last thing you should do is get into a cat fight you probably won't win. Don't know how long you've been ... (read in full...)
I was lied to about my husband and now I don't think I love him
Q. hi .... dear all .... i desperately need soem advice......... I am 29 years old married since 1 year 4 months.... i feel i have lost that love for my husband from the first few month itself.......because from the very first month i found the man ...
A. 1 December 2011: Yes in arranged marriages (not forced) it's important that people tell the truth about who they are and what they offer, that's all you have on which to make a decision. Lying is very bad. Not very familiar with your wedding traditions, but the ... (read in full...)
Do not connect to new husband..
Q. I am in love with my boss who is married and loves me too. I recently married a guy as per my parents wishes knowingly he is not my type but didnt had any options. I cannot leave the job because it pays me well with other benefits and has ample ...
A. 1 December 2011: So don't leave your job, divorce your husband. I notice your in the UK, no one can force you to marry. You married because you wanted to, now you are cheating on your husband because you want to.
Poor husband, he hasn't done anything. He'll be... (read in full...)
He wants to try more sexual "fun" with me in public. I prefer sexual contact to be in private. How can I explain this to him? .
Q. I'm having a huge problem with my self esteem.. My boyfriend has stated that he is sexually unhappy with me because I'm more reserved then the girls he was with before me. He has said that he wishes that we could have "fun" together in public, i.e ...
A. 1 December 2011: I'm having a real big problem with your boyfriend. Your self esteem was fine before you met him? Why should you want to be grouped in public, why should you want to make out in the middle of the street? Holding hands and a kiss on the cheek ... (read in full...)
Why do guys find it easy to orgasm, but many women never do?
Q. You always read about women having problems with this. Yet never any guys. Why is this? Is it because it's more taboo if a women does?...
A. 1 December 2011: Great question.. our biology, and societal pressures means that for many women it is just harder to relax and let go.. just like the aunts have explained.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps hinting for money.
Q. My boyfriend keeps asking for money indirectly. He would say my mom is not giving me money we can't date. Or he would go directly like 'can i ask you something? No leave it'. If I say tell me he would ask me. I mean I am not so rich. I don't have a ...
A. 30 November 2011: Well no problem, the cousin can give him money, she can sell the ring..
The guy is an idiot. He just wants money. Dump him, don't ever see him or talk to him again, he is too expensive for you, your a poor student.... (read in full...)
He's mean and controlling and my children don't like him. Will he revert to the same monster again if we purchase a home together?
Q. I have posted on here so many times as I dont have anyone to talk to. What would you do in the following scenario? I am on the verge of buying a house with my second husband who I ended up having a seperate house from for the last 4 years as we had ...
A. 30 November 2011: I guess we aunts don't like him either, we feel the same as your kids. Counselling is a good idea, you sound like you've had bad experiences in life and don't expect to be treated nicely. I know it's hard to leave when the outside looks co... (read in full...)
I feel like I am taking 2nd place to his smoking weed habit. Any advice?
Q. My boyfriend used to be a heavy pot smoker (i'm talking daily) and and gave it up for about 7 months as he knows im not comfortable with it. However, about 3 months ago he relapsed but i only found out as I caught him lying. Since then he has said ...
A. 30 November 2011: Sorry me again, go on your trip with him, it's planned and paid for. It's a good time to show him the beauty of a drug free life. This is his last chance. He either goes on the trip and stays clean, and comes back and get help to change his life, ... (read in full...)
I feel like I am taking 2nd place to his smoking weed habit. Any advice?
Q. My boyfriend used to be a heavy pot smoker (i'm talking daily) and and gave it up for about 7 months as he knows im not comfortable with it. However, about 3 months ago he relapsed but i only found out as I caught him lying. Since then he has said ...
A. 30 November 2011: You can also call Frank yourself, they can give you advice on what you need to do to look after yourself. Loving any type of addict is difficult, and you need support and advice from people who are experienced in this.... (read in full...)
I feel like I am taking 2nd place to his smoking weed habit. Any advice?
Q. My boyfriend used to be a heavy pot smoker (i'm talking daily) and and gave it up for about 7 months as he knows im not comfortable with it. However, about 3 months ago he relapsed but i only found out as I caught him lying. Since then he has said ...
A. 30 November 2011: Your in the UK, good... Tell him to call FRANK http://www.talktofrank.com/ 0800 77 66 00 Got nothing again the pot meself, (after all many countries can prescribe it for medical reasons and it's been used all round the world for centuries) but... (read in full...)
Am I being cold-hearted?
Q. I have been married for over ten years and have 2 kids. For the last two years I have been unhappy in the marriage. When I started thinking about divorce, I went to my wife and would tell her things that were bothering me and that i would like to ...
A. 30 November 2011: You already done your trying.. You told her what was needed to save the marriage, her answer was "hows that working for ya", badly so therefore divorce. She's a woman you share a house with, she's a woman who you share kids with, that's it. You ... (read in full...)
Spark is gone after 9 years with GF. Troubled relationship!
Q. Dear Aunts, I have a big problem. I have been with my girlfriend for 9 years. When I met her I was a virgin. She was not. She even told me back when we first started dating that she didn't care if we were an item or not, she just wanted to have s...
A. 30 November 2011: You met a girl, your a virgin (lack experience) and the first thing she wants is to "fuck your brains out", even though your unwilling... after 6months, she not interested, because she's finds it hard to orgasm that way. "I just want the woman I... (read in full...)
Why does my girlfriend get jealous over nothing?
Q. What is wrong with my girlfriend? She gets way too jealous over absolutely nothing. If I'm with one of my girl friends(Friends who are girls) then she gets jealous when all they are is friends. She has a ton of guy friends but I don't get jealous ...
A. 30 November 2011: Imagine a kicked dog, who is used to rejection, pain and hurt. When a new owner comes along and tries to love it and treat it nicely, it bites the owners hand and pisses on his leg. Now when the owner goes to pat another dog, our hurt abused dog ... (read in full...)
Spicing up your sex life!
Q. Sight is a major part of good lovemaking. Look after your skin, use moisturisers, dont overdo the makeup, unless you are being a character in a little sexual scenario you are playing out together. Your hair must always be utterly clean. Who wants to ...
A. 30 November 2011: Absolute love this.. wonderful, hope men and women take a look, these are the things that help to make good sex and good relationships.... (read in full...)
Irregular periods are making me nervous about having children in the future, what should I do?
Q. Just want some readers opinions on this. I've been tracking my menstrual cycle and in this year alone (2011), ive so far had 6 periods. Obviously this is different to the 'typical' woman who may have 1 every month or so. It's making me nervo...
A. 30 November 2011: Hope for the best can cause health problems.. Hope for the best can kill. Hope for the best is not a sensible treatment for any problem in life.
Go to the doctors, even if there is nothing wrong, advice and reassurance always helps. Getting ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to date a friend's daughter?
Q. I was having a conversation the other day about morals, and the person asked me if I thought it was ok to date a friend's daughter. We didn't go into depth in terms of which friend, how long you'd known them, etc. personally, I couldn't see a p...
A. 30 November 2011: I don't think it's right to date a friends daughter, it causes all kinds of problems for everyone involved. However, I think it's OK to marry a friends daughter, and not have sex with her before the wedding day. That's OK by me, cause marriage ... (read in full...)
I prefer masturbation to girls!
Q. Is that normal? I've been on SSRIs for about a year and stopped a few weeks ago as i'd had enougn of feeling like a zombie and not being able to sleep at night and just being tired all the time and understanding nothing in my lectures. I'm 20 and i...
A. 30 November 2011: Flynn is right.. if you don't want the tablets, then St Johns Wort (on it's own) might be able to help. Also running or swimming, some people swear by exercise, helps raise the serotonin levels (happy chemicals) in the brain. But don't cut your ... (read in full...)
He's mean and controlling and my children don't like him. Will he revert to the same monster again if we purchase a home together?
Q. I have posted on here so many times as I dont have anyone to talk to. What would you do in the following scenario? I am on the verge of buying a house with my second husband who I ended up having a seperate house from for the last 4 years as we had ...
A. 30 November 2011: " As long as he's not physically, and emotionally abuse to you and the children, everything is possible."
Chickpea please read carefully, he is emotionally abusive to the children, one of them is so frightened he has had to go counsell... (read in full...)
I prefer masturbation to girls!
Q. Is that normal? I've been on SSRIs for about a year and stopped a few weeks ago as i'd had enougn of feeling like a zombie and not being able to sleep at night and just being tired all the time and understanding nothing in my lectures. I'm 20 and i...
A. 30 November 2011: Yep, either the SSRI's medication or the depression will cut down your sex drive dramatically. Depression causes us to want to be alone, it's part of the condition. As you notice, your're irritable, you get upset over very little things. All ... (read in full...)
He's mean and controlling and my children don't like him. Will he revert to the same monster again if we purchase a home together?
Q. I have posted on here so many times as I dont have anyone to talk to. What would you do in the following scenario? I am on the verge of buying a house with my second husband who I ended up having a seperate house from for the last 4 years as we had ...
A. 29 November 2011: OK, here's a question. Are you frightened of this man?... (read in full...)
He's mean and controlling and my children don't like him. Will he revert to the same monster again if we purchase a home together?
Q. I have posted on here so many times as I dont have anyone to talk to. What would you do in the following scenario? I am on the verge of buying a house with my second husband who I ended up having a seperate house from for the last 4 years as we had ...
A. 29 November 2011: 15. Your older kids don't mind him now, but they don't love him, they don't like him much and they are still scared that he'll starting treating them bad again.
16. Your baby loves the dad.. but the baby has not lived with him very long. T... (read in full...)
He's mean and controlling and my children don't like him. Will he revert to the same monster again if we purchase a home together?
Q. I have posted on here so many times as I dont have anyone to talk to. What would you do in the following scenario? I am on the verge of buying a house with my second husband who I ended up having a seperate house from for the last 4 years as we had ...
A. 21 November 2011: Yep, remember your last post. We are here, you need to talk and open 24/7 when you need someone. It's always better to try to keep to one post, that way aunts who are interested or who have the relevant experience can find you easily and not miss ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 23 January 2011: OCD and obsession... but you speak as if you have no choices. The thoughts come and you decide to allow the "horror" movie to play in your mind and drive you insane.
I know it's not as easy as it sounds, but thoughts can be controlled through ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 14 January 2011: Somewhatdamaged,
Tisha is right, it sounds like you badly need professional help and counselling. Your situation is slightly different from the usual RJ cases we here, and I suspect there is anger, hatred and guilt, over wrong choices that have... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 30 August 2010: This interesting post has come up again.. I'd like to repost something pyroshadow said which I thought was very helpful.
"You should be trying to help him. Trying to tell him that its not his fault he loves someone who has done such awful things. ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 21 August 2010: "when I get into these debates my ratings on this site go WAY down (from above 8 to usually around 7.5)" (anon)
So that's how it's done... good thing that I aint really worried about my ratings, cause I would have left a long time ago.. but it s... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 16 August 2010: Actually, picking up the morality part... many guys with this retrograde jealousy make a point of pointing out that the values of the woman who sleeps around disgusts them very much...
This is the point that Odds and Pyroshadow were trying t... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 15 August 2010: Men and women BOTH, encourage the idea of the promiscuous male super stud lover.. :)... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 15 August 2010: "But as you admit sometimes you speak too soon rather than taking the time to reflect on what has been said. I think this has happened here."
@ Yos....
I hate that word Slut.... grrrrr
But yes, I was wrong... :)... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 15 August 2010: "The only people who seem to approve of man-sluts are women themselves (evidenced by the fact that they, by definition, continue to date and sleep with man-sluts), and not even all of those by a long shot."
You have a very strange view of the worl... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 15 August 2010: "Since when is it "OK" for a man to be promiscuous?"
Men are called studs and applauded by other men when they ;have sex with many women. Men and boys boast about the amount of women they have slept with and always lie and say the number is high.... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 14 August 2010: Ah.. thank you Yos.. finally I understand the feelings people get through Retrograde jealousy. I have clinical depression and in the past I have felt bad enough to try to end my life... It wasn't rational, and it wasn't controlable and ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 14 August 2010: Yes, anon, I asked Pyroshadow the same question, but it hasn't come through, so I'll ask it again, and no judgement is meant.....
Is the feelings of jealousy really as strong as the complete devastation and worthlessness people feel when they hav... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 12 August 2010: Oh dear, Pyroshadow, your one of the people I'm talking about who is helping me learn to understand this jealousy thing...
As I said, I'm still pondering hard about the last question you set... ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 10 August 2010: I'm one of the "shut up and get over it brigade.. the past is the past", but with the help from you men brave enough to tell their stories, I'm learning my advice is not helpful at all...
I'm learning...
But, I speak to a lot of women who suf... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 26 July 2010: "Virginity is just one of the many attributes that an individual wants in a person." (shoccs)
This is something that I don't understand. Are all virgin's nice, kind and thoughtfull.. Are there no virgin criminals in jail? (apart from kids tha... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 26 July 2010: Buddhist way is the best.. jealousy is a mind poison, it's the worst possessive side of us trying to destory our lives..
Either use Buddhist meditation techniques, to realise the mind has many thoughts, not all of them pleasant, but most of them ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 26 July 2010: Brilliant MissManners, some of them angry anon's got a fantastic post closed with their own worries and woes..
It's nice for them to have a space to express their anger in a healthy way, rather than destroying another person's chance at happines... (read in full...)
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