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*anceInTheDark agony aunt


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I am DanceintheDark,

I honestly think the vast majority of relationship problems could be solved with communication, I also think that a lot of people refuse to bring up the problems they have with their partner because they feel they are being petty.

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Is my wifes best friend playing games?

Q.   Over the last few months my wifes bestfriend has been going through a divorce. My wife and i have known this women for around ten years now and over those years have given her the support she needs during her rocky marriage, through texting, phone ...

A.   9 September 2012: Sounds like she doesn't care about you, and you're obsessing over her. ... (read in full...)

Why would he jump into another relationship so quickly? Will he come back to me?

Q.   I broke up with my boyfriend last month. i dont kno if it was a breakup bcuz he told me he had a girlfriend after ignorin me for a few days. I was hurt because we were goin out for 4 years. I dont get why he would do this to me. Im a pisces gi...

A.   6 September 2012: Do Scorpio men come back? Nope. If he does, you don't want him anyways. Scorpio men are very VERY loyal and dedicated, so if he's doing this to you, you're not really important. And they're very black and white, you're either important, or yo... (read in full...)

How much of a deal breaker is penis size?

Q.   I've seen a lot of penis anxiety threads based around "reassure me, is insert size normal?" but I'm going to come at it from another (still similar) angle. I'm 23, relatively slim although my guts bigger than it's ever been (people still ac...

A.   4 September 2012: Every woman is different. It's pointless to worry about your dick size, you're putting all the attention on intercourse, that attitude is way more of a deal breaker than the size of your dick. Most women don't get off from it. A lot of ... (read in full...)

Are guy's disgusted by breaking a girl's hymen?

Q.   Okay, so last week, I was getting fingered by a guy that I've been fooling around with. I'm a virgin and I guess I never really took into consideration about my hymen. Anyways, while his fingers were inside of me, he pulled out and said "Are you um, ...

A.   1 September 2012: Honestly, bleeding happens. If he can't handle that, he's probably too immature to be with a woman. Don't feel ashamed or anything.... (read in full...)

Should I accept that I may not be able to lose my extra pregnancy weight?

Q.   I'm 27 years old, and I just had my first child, well, not just almost a year ago. I m not nursing anymore and droped about 15 lb since I had my daughter. I m 5.4 and I weigh about 135-137 lb. Everyone around me tells me how beatifull I look and...

A.   1 September 2012: It sounds like you aren't losing weight because you're at your correct weight. If you aren't petite and 5'4, then 115 lbs is way to thin. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend likes to look at my sister's fake boobs, but when I said I wanted fake boobs he flipped out!

Q.   Okay so short story.... My sister had tons of ummm "sexy" pictures on her computer.... Nude, and she has fake boobs..... Well my boyfriend of over a year decides to be a dick and goes on her computer and emails himself some of the nude photos!!! I ...

A.   23 August 2012: I say get the big boobs just to get rid him. What a creep, emailing himself naked pictures of your SISTER? Talk about NO Respect for YOU or YOUR sister. That is just gross low behavior.... (read in full...)

Is the singles scene easier for women than it is for men?

Q.   I'm curious what the singles scene is really like from a woman's perspective? After many years of being single, I got married recently so this is just out of curiosity. I know this can't be true, but it often appeared to me that women had it mad...

A.   23 August 2012: Scary. Annoying. Imagine having a bunch of guys who can physically overpower you desire you sexually. The greatest fear of men is that women will laugh at them, the greatest fear of women is that men will kill them. None of these men t... (read in full...)

I've never been turned down for sex in the middle of the night, I feel hurt! Am I over reacting?

Q.   I'm so hurt it's unbelievable. I live with my boyfriend but went away abroad with my mum and sister for a week and got back last night. everyday we called and texted a lot, he told me all the time how he missed me and couldn't wait to see me. I've ...

A.   12 August 2012: Yeah, you're overreacting. It's late. It's not like he didn't sleep with you. isn't a guy allowed to be tired? I mean, really? You're acting like a spoiled child.... (read in full...)

Is he having a mid-life crisis? Is this not love?

Q.   Because What would a man his age want with a woman like this? Ok well my Ex and I we are split up for about 5 months . We still tells me about his life , and for the past 3 months he is constantly talking about his friend he met for the first time ...

A.   8 August 2012: Because she's youthful, and men are generally attracted to that?... (read in full...)

I want to become a stripper!

Q.   I know people will read this and may think this sounds like a sleazy kinda job, but I really want to become a lap dancer (stripper) or my biggest dream is to be a burlesque dancer. it has always been my passion, I am an intelligent girl and left ...

A.   8 August 2012: Don't be a stripper. don't be a stripper. seriously, it's just walking around in uncomfortable shoes and having sleazy men ogle you. Because you are in the united kingdom, I'm going to guess you're referring to the original burlesque, like ... (read in full...)

Is is possible to find only one person beautiful?

Q.   My friend told me that he only finds his wife beautiful.Is it possible? I've searched on the net a bit about it and found 7 men and 10 women who says they only find their gfs or bfs beautiful. Are there these kind of people?...

A.   22 July 2012: Yes. It's entirely possible. Anyone who says differently is simply not that kind of person and people are rarely capable of thinking outside their own head. Research Demisexuality people who are only attracted to people they are emotionally... (read in full...)

I'm 44 and still a virgin. Should I lose my virginity to an escort?

Q.   I am a virgin at 44 and was looking for advice on how to remedy the situation. In my case i have always had comments aimed at me because i'm let's say not exactly nice-looking. Ugly in fact, let's not beat about the bush.Because of this i have never ...

A.   13 July 2012: Sure. It's not going to do anything other than make you not a virgin. It's not going to give you any extra social skills, or make you decent in bed.... (read in full...)

I had a threesome with two of my girlfriends, and now I'm wondering whether or not to tell my boyfriend.

Q.   I am a girl and currently in a relationship with a boy who I truly love.We have been together for a year.But I feel very guilty and I feel akward whenever im around my bf or my friends.Because just a week ago me and my 2 friends,who are girls had a ...

A.   13 July 2012: Well I imagine he thinks you two are exclusive so you basically cheated on him. Though, considering he's a teen boy, he'll probably just think it's hot and that's that.... (read in full...)

I like watching women in porn but want to date men, what does this mean?

Q.   I like to watch women strip but i dont want to be with a woman. It's easier to orgasm when thinking about a woman stripping or seeing it in porn but i can orgasm to hot men too...however, in reality, i want to be with a man and have a romantic ...

A.   11 July 2012: Naked women are generally more sexual than naked men. When a guy strips, it's more so WOO HOT GUY. With a girl strips, theres something about it that just screams SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX. The female body is easily turned on by things that indica... (read in full...)

Is she interested in a threesome or not?

Q.   I have discussed with my wife having a threesome. We were watching porn one evening and I asked her if she would prefer mfm or fmf, she said mfm of course if she was to do it and she was not that interested. Ok....I did get an answer. The ...

A.   26 June 2012: Respect her boundaries, stop pushing it.... (read in full...)

Does sex really matter all that much?

Q.   Hey everyone. Lots of magazines and articles talk about "sexual compatibility" and paramount on sexual pleasure with your partner. I haven't had an orgasm yet with my boyfriend (still testing things out and finding what I like), so I wonder does sex ...

A.   26 June 2012: Yes. Sex Matters. I don't care how much I love a person, if they can't get me off, it's not worth it.... (read in full...)

Lost virginity to two Malaysian hookers. Should I feel bad?

Q.   I am in the navy and am 21 years old. When i was in Malaysia a couple years back, me and my friends were partying at a club in downtown Kuala Lumpur. We were all drinking and getting pretty drunk. Then late into the night, the club started to ...

A.   21 June 2012: Personally, I think it's sleazy, and it'd be a massive deal breaker for me. Honestly, You shouldn't mention it.... (read in full...)

Should I tell my wife that I cheated on her once?

Q.   I need advice on an age old question. To tell or not to tell. I cheated on my wife one time. After 1 year of marriage. I felt horrible and vowed to never do it again. Promised myself I'd make up for it by being an amazing husband. And I have been....

A.   17 June 2012: Tell her. Also. "Long story short, after so many drinks I ended up sleeping with 5 different women over the 6 weeks I was there." Sorry to tell you, but you didn't cheat on her 'just once.' Cheating on someone just once is sleeping with ON... (read in full...)

He said there's a 75 percent chance he would come back, how do I make it 100?

Q.   Danny and I made a year May 27 and have been engaged almost a year. Tuesday he said he wanted to marry me and was in love with me and wasn't changing his mind. The wedding date was June 16. Well Wednesday he woke up to a small argument between my ...

A.   6 June 2012: Don't contact him. Seriously, Don't call him. Let him come back on his own, it'll mean more. ... (read in full...)

MY LDR girlfriend broke up with me over the stupidest reason!

Q.   Hi im new here. Anyway so my Long distance girlfriend who lives in Chicago just broke up with me. We have been together a year and i truly thought she loved me. I would always go see her every month to two months. She lives in Chicago and i live in ...

A.   1 June 2012: Well like you said, going on and on about how you were looking forward to seeing her was pretty insensitive, other than that though, sounds like she's pretty insecure. I think it's safe to say she was just looking for a reason to break up with you... (read in full...)

Why do these weird things turn me on when I masturbate?

Q.   Alright, so I am a 16 year old girl and I have been dating this guy on and off 4 almost 2 years now.I really feel like I love him, a lot. He is like the perfect guy for me. But I have a small problem.... I kinda masturbate... A lot..... Like once a ...

A.   1 June 2012: Because you're a hormonal teenager. Human tends to be sexually drawn to the taboo, so the more 'weirder' it is, the more thrilling it is. Porn can be kind of like a drug, you need more taboo, graphic things to get off because you get desensitized. ... (read in full...)

Getting over a girlfriend's sexual past

Q.   Hello, I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 4 months now, im 19 and she is 21, I live in a small town and she has had sex with a lot of people I know in the past, I accept this as I do live in a small town, anyway I only found out ...

A.   31 May 2012: Dump her. So she can find a guy who actually thinks she's worth something. You're no better than him if you're going to say things like that.... (read in full...)

What kind of porn do straight girls watch?

Q.   What kind of porn do straight girls watch? And how often do they do it?...

A.   10 May 2012: Teenagers are going to look at porn underage, period. That's just what they do. ANYWAYS to Actually answer your question. Yes it's true it's going to very from woman to woman. So in my personal experience, when I looked at porn I was pretty big... (read in full...)

I usually have high standards, so why am I into this average looking girl?

Q.   Usually I have very high standards (it takes a fair amount of beauty to get a 8-10 mental rating from me), but I have recently met this girl who I would have never looked twice at in the street and I don't know why I am so taken with her...?...

A.   15 April 2012: I could give you some BS explanations about how sometimes people just click, and maybe it's because you have a real connection. But in reality it's probably just Pheromones.... (read in full...)

Translations please of guy-speak? Not sure what my Bf is implying.

Q.   Guys, what does it mean when a guy says you are amazing as a girlfriend, but when you try to be pretty you are stunning but when you don't try your blehh? What does this mean in guy speak?...

A.   15 April 2012: Means several things. 1. He's an idiot. 2. He's either way to young, or way to immature for you if he used the word blehh. 3. He's an idiot.... (read in full...)

Recently I've become fearful that I would cheat if I were in a relationship!

Q.   Hello DC, So I have something that I've been thinking about a lot recently. So at the moment I'm a single 20 year old guy. Not bothered by being single as at sometimes I'm glad of it, others not. But I recently became a little fearful at the t...

A.   13 April 2012: Yes i've had that before. If you really think it'd be that hard, and you want to be faithful then go out of your way to not be in situations like that. Don't get drunk on a night out, don't be alone with women ect ect.... (read in full...)

Is it normal that I crave sex all the time?

Q.   I am confused. I don`t know what is going on with me. I am craving sex all the time. I am married, but I`m not getting it from him as often as I`d like. I will see a random man while I`m out, and all I can think about is how amazing it would be if ...

A.   8 April 2012: Pretty normal. Especially if you ain't getting any.... (read in full...)

We haven't had sex in 2 years. My chubby wife says it hurts!

Q.   Hi, My wife is very overweight and I love her very much. We have not had sex with penetration in almost 2 years. She keeps telling me to be patient but I don't know how much longer I can take it. She says it hurts her as she puts it when I'm bou...

A.   6 April 2012: Try a new position? Her on top? Doggy style? Spooning?... (read in full...)

She has destroyed my life with her sexual past that I never knew about.. Just to marry her!!

Q.   Ive been married 13 years, have 2 children. my wife has been very good to me all 13 years. but never thought in a 1,000,000 years this would happen to me.. I feel like my marriage was nothing but a fairytale. So this is what...

A.   3 April 2012: You say you're not prejudiced, yet you freak out that they're BLACK. Five guys? Are you kidding me? That's pretty goddamn average. Honestly I don't think you care that you lied to her, I think you're using that to justify how you feel about yo... (read in full...)

Do you think mental illness is genetic and skip generations?

Q.   Is it possible to inherit bi polar from a distant family member like a grandmother, or uncle? I think my life is ruined by undiagnosed mental illness of my husband and our two sons.I was just wondering if you think mental illness is genetic and ...

A.   3 April 2012: Yes. You can definitely inherit it. Sadly there is not much you can do if they aren't willing to believe it and get diagnosed. How old are your sons? Are they adults? If they are younger you should still be able to get them diagnosed if they are... (read in full...)

Could the erection problems be because I'm actually gay?

Q.   I am 22 years of age, relatively fit and healthy. From an early age I was interested in girls and have had several serious girlfriends with a really healthy sex life. I broke up with my last girlfriend three years ago and it took me a while to get ...

A.   28 March 2012: Alright, i'm going to tell you a way to find out if you're gay or not. Do any desire to have sex with guys? If you answered no, congrats no matter what kind of porn you look at you're not gay. Honestly, chances are it's the porn that's the ... (read in full...)

Wife's friend is dating her ex, and I overheard them talking about his penis. I'm not happy!

Q.   Should I be pissed off or not. My wife's friend is really hitting on a guy who used to date my wife. I overheard them talking, and my wife said that this guy was a really nice guy. Will take her out to nice places, and buy her stuff. Then she said ...

A.   28 March 2012: News flash: You don't get to throw her things out. How would you like it if she decided she just wanted to throw your things out? Honestly, you're overreacting, She mentioned a few facts to her friend, they were having 'girl' talk, that's what the... (read in full...)

What goes through a women's mind when a guy ejaculates prematurely?

Q.   What goes through a women's mind when a guy ejaculates prematurely? Three times in the last couple of weeks I've been with this really hot girl and each time it's ended far too quickly. The first time, we had dinner and some drinks in a few ...

A.   27 March 2012: Disappointment. ... (read in full...)

What is the average length of time that a man lasts during sex?

Q.   This might sound like a silly question and I know that every one is different, but what is the average length of time that a man lasts during sex?? I've been with this guy for about 5 months now and we just recently started having sex. He lasts ab...

A.   23 March 2012: That seems about the average. Though, just to make you feel better, my guy can last about an hour. ... (read in full...)

Father of my baby will not give up pot and I don't want him around my baby!

Q.   Hi, im a 20yr expectant mother in college. I have a problem. The baby's father doesn't do anything to help me. He's addicted to smoking marijuana and drinking cold medicines mixed with soda. Yes, you can get addicted to marijuana and HE NEEDS HELP. ...

A.   21 March 2012: Yeah, get rid of him. I know you don't want to do it, but you have to for the sake of your baby. Chances are it's just going to get worse once the baby is around. See, pot isn't exactly a physically addictive thing. When someone gets addicted... (read in full...)

Dumping a guy over pornography use?

Q.   Has anyone here ever dumped anyone over pornography use? How bad was it? I want to find a man who doesn't use it so I can feel special for once....

A.   20 March 2012: I understand you completely. I hate porn, it makes me feel so unspecial. I have a huge problem with it, that's why I don't tolerate it in a relationship. Yes it's perfectly okay to not like porn, and despite what some men say, yes you can find... (read in full...)

Ladies, is a 4.25" penis big or small?

Q.   Ladies, do you consider a 4.25 inch erect penis to be big or small? Do you have experience with this size? If so how did you like it? ...

A.   15 March 2012: Small. Personally, it couldn't satisfy me, both a mental and physical thing. ... (read in full...)

Is my boyfriend a pedophile for watching cartoon toddler porn?

Q.   Is my boyfriend a pedophile for looking at cartoon porn depicting very young children? We've been going out for 6 months and since we've moved in together I've been secretly snooping on his laptop and have found many things that have disturbed me. ...

A.   2 March 2012: Run. Run fast. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is a gangster! Should I marry him?

Q.   Hiya, I'm 27 years old woman and I dated a 19 year old boy for 5 months last year. The very first time that we met, I doubted that we would ever got along as he's 8years younger than me, turned out, it was like love at the first sight for us both ...

A.   1 March 2012: Are you KIDDING? He's a hitman and drug traffricker? That the kind of husband you want? Ask yourself that, don't think "maybe he'll change." Ask yourself if you've be cool be married to a guy like that. ... (read in full...)

He was once a cheater, so what makes me any different?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months and I can honestly say without hesitation, I've NEVER loved anyone the way I love him. However, he has a past and it's affecting me and our relationship. Before I go any further, let me give you ...

A.   24 February 2012: Well his track record doesn't look good, since it basically tells he cannot have a committed relationship. The two he's had he's cheated. Keep in mind that those two girls probably thought that they knew for a fact that he loved them as well. An... (read in full...)

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