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... Send *iamine a private message | | | *iamine's profile:* I'm brutally honest, sometimes to the point of offence, I never hide under the secrecy of anonymous. I'm pro-porn and many people don't like this. I'm also non judgemental of different relationships and lifestyles. I'm pro-men and pro-women, I believe strongly in equality and happiness for both sexes, that's my definition of Feminism. And I'm an atheist, there aint no God in my world.
Mental Health Help (Depression, anxiety, bi-polar) Advice and support and mood charting: - http://www.patientslikeme.com
Helplines for UK visitors.
*The Samaritans.... http://www.samaritans.org/ UK: 08457 90 90 90 ROI: 1850 60 90 90
*Rape Crisis Centres... http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/index.php Tel:0808 802 9999
*Childline... http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx Tel: 0800 1111 (free to call and totally confidential)
*NHS... http://www.nhs.uk/Pages/HomePage.aspx
Type in your postcode to find the location of your nearest family planning clinic. Contraception is available free, and emergency contraception (taken within 72 hours, but sooner is better, 24 hours is best) can help prevent pregnancy if you have unprotected sex.
NHS Direct Telephone Hotline - 111
http://www.nhs.uk
http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/
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His exes call him all the time, when I try to talk to him about it he calls me controlling.
Q. I am 45 and recently married for the second time. My husband is a very friendly person but seems unable to draw the line at what is friendly and what is unacceptable behaviour. He has a lot of female friends and ex girlfriends and even though we are ...
A. 21 November 2011: Wishing you all the best in whatever you do. :)... (read in full...)
Is it normal for someone 50 to ask their parent if its ok to take a bath?
Q. do you think its normal asking your parent that you will take a bath at the age of 50?someoene i know ask this question everytime want to take a bath in the night. i find it so weird? for me its wrong because personal hygiene.. why ask other people. ...
A. 21 November 2011: You ever seen jokes about selfish teenagers who spend hours in the bathroom and don't care about the fact that other people need to use it.
It may be news for you, but at 70+ people still need to use the bathroom, and it's the only bathroom... (read in full...)
Should I get there first and end it before he does?
Q. I met a guy at uni and become really close to him. we lost touch for a couple of years and recently met up . with a bit of alcohol and the obvious attraction still there, we ended up kissing. a week later caught up again and decided we'd be toget...
A. 21 November 2011: Thanks for coming back and giving us an update.. It will provide a useful warning for other women who are now in the same position.
You gave it a chance, and that's healthy. Your not letting bad experiences drive your life.. He's a twat, an... (read in full...)
I like this married guy but I'm not sure that I want to be a mistress!
Q. hey, this is the first time writing to one of these agony aunt things so i'm sorry if this is long winded. long story short, a guy i'm attracted to has asked me out. he's cute, funny, intelligent.. everything i would want in a guy but never se...
A. 20 November 2011: And yes many of them started like you.. looking for a bit of fun.. then the heart gets involved and it gets serious. I've read every one. Yep, even got one case where the man went away for a year, and then came back and the affair started again. ... (read in full...)
After my past experiences now I hate women!
Q. I have a really good relationship with my mother and sister so I was raised on the belief that women were wonderful creatures. My dad was a junkie and in 2007 it was his undoing. So in reality, I should respect women..HOWEVER.. I have been wit...
A. 20 November 2011: Your 18-21, you've had 3 bad relationships. Twice you've taken back women who have had been unfaithful. You have a lot of life to live before you are dead, and you will have relationships with many more women. The main point the aunts are trying ... (read in full...)
B/f will not perform oral sex on me but he did for his ex!
Q. My boyfriend of 2 yrs WILL NOT perform oral sex on me. He use to do it to his past girlfriends, especially this one girl who he had been going back and forth with for like 6 years. He even had an old poem on a blog site about how he wished he could...
A. 20 November 2011: Ok, my cousin has a strong smell too. Have you considered shaving?... (read in full...)
I like this married guy but I'm not sure that I want to be a mistress!
Q. hey, this is the first time writing to one of these agony aunt things so i'm sorry if this is long winded. long story short, a guy i'm attracted to has asked me out. he's cute, funny, intelligent.. everything i would want in a guy but never se...
A. 20 November 2011: Found it at last. Before you go off and have sex with a married man, please read this very important dear cupid post. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/in-love-w-a-married-man-how-do-i-cope-w-break-up.html I send all cheaters here, 392 posts ... (read in full...)
It is ok for a 19 year old to date a 15 year old?
Q. I was wondering if it was okay for a 19 year old girl to date a 15 year old boy. I'm really worried for a friend of mine. He's obviously underage and still a minor and I'm sure there are legal implications of this but she seems so happy with him. I ...
A. 20 November 2011: Yes, there are legal implications. Sex laws in the UK changed in 2003 I think. Here's the current situation. She's over 18, so is legally an adult. He is 15, and is still classed as a child, under his parents control. The legal age of con... (read in full...)
Is it normal for someone 50 to ask their parent if its ok to take a bath?
Q. do you think its normal asking your parent that you will take a bath at the age of 50?someoene i know ask this question everytime want to take a bath in the night. i find it so weird? for me its wrong because personal hygiene.. why ask other people. ...
A. 20 November 2011: Also if there are several people in the house, the hot water might run out. This 50year old is very polite and thinks of other people.... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I want to wait till marriage to have sex now!
Q. I'm 19, going on 20, and my boyfriend is 20. Now, I'm the kind of girl that always believed in the "no sex before marriage" rule, and pretty much raised to believe sex is a taboo thing that is only for married couples, to make babies. But recently ...
A. 20 November 2011: I'll say it for you. It's OK to have sex right now if you feel it's right for you. It's also OK to wait until your wedding day to have sex. Both are OK.
What we can't do for you is choose, you have to do that for yourself.... (read in full...)
His exes call him all the time, when I try to talk to him about it he calls me controlling.
Q. I am 45 and recently married for the second time. My husband is a very friendly person but seems unable to draw the line at what is friendly and what is unacceptable behaviour. He has a lot of female friends and ex girlfriends and even though we are ...
A. 20 November 2011: My story.. I have two ex's. Both promised to be life-long friends. One left, and his new woman thought like you did. She hated the fact that he still wanted to see me and contact me. She didn't think that ex's should be friends. The other ex, ... (read in full...)
Have I had my chance already? I still love my late husband. Or should I search for a husband so my child will have a father figure in her life?
Q. I just start dating again after 3 years after my husband's death. He was always be in my heart but i think my daughter keep asking my for a daddy i try to explain to her that daddy will always be with us, and he's watching over us. I just nee...
A. 20 November 2011: Yes babes, I know your scared.. that's why it's time, to let go.. that's what he would want. You won't ever forget him, trust me. It's alright to be happy now, he won't ever go away, he'll always stay deep in your heart to keep you warm.... (read in full...)
After my past experiences now I hate women!
Q. I have a really good relationship with my mother and sister so I was raised on the belief that women were wonderful creatures. My dad was a junkie and in 2007 it was his undoing. So in reality, I should respect women..HOWEVER.. I have been wit...
A. 20 November 2011: In case you missed it.. Information on the third girl can be found here.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/she-slept-with-my-friend-on-the-day.html ... (read in full...)
After my past experiences now I hate women!
Q. I have a really good relationship with my mother and sister so I was raised on the belief that women were wonderful creatures. My dad was a junkie and in 2007 it was his undoing. So in reality, I should respect women..HOWEVER.. I have been wit...
A. 20 November 2011: Yes, I know your just venting.. I read your first post. It was very, very interesting. You have some major problems with your way of thinking, and that's why you keep picking up unsuitable women. I noticed, you don't like to be criticized in anyw... (read in full...)
21 years old, but still concerned about parents' reaction to dating
Q. Hi everyone, I am 21 years old, and I'm in my last year of college. When I was in highschool and through the first few years of college, I sort of dated a few guys but I've never really been in a serious relationship. I have been dating my current ...
A. 20 November 2011: "Mum dad I've met someone I really like......" and take it from there. They may not approve, but they have the right to know what you are doing. Then go off and continue, exactly as you have been doing for a year. Your telling them because your ... (read in full...)
His exes call him all the time, when I try to talk to him about it he calls me controlling.
Q. I am 45 and recently married for the second time. My husband is a very friendly person but seems unable to draw the line at what is friendly and what is unacceptable behaviour. He has a lot of female friends and ex girlfriends and even though we are ...
A. 20 November 2011: Sigh.. you two should have discussed this before marriage. You don't like ex-partners and think they should stay in the past. He believes that ex-partners cam be friends and friends should be kept for life. It's not that he's disrespectful, it's ... (read in full...)
I want to lose weight, but I can't seem to stop eating.
Q. I’ve been saying for months now that I’m going to eat healthy and lose weight but there’s always something there to stop me. I find that when I’m stressed I pig out and when I’m due on my period I just want to eat loads of chocolate and cake. I’ve ...
A. 19 November 2011: Diets are crap, you lose weight, but you put all back on and more when the diet stops. Best thing is to do exercise and cut out the bad stuff from your diet. Eating healthy should be an everyday thing. Chocolate, cake, cola.. full of sugar and ... (read in full...)
How to be a good step parent. Are there books?
Q. How can I learn to be a good step-parent to a pre-teen girl? Is there books, websites out there that can help me learn how to do it right?...
A. 19 November 2011: They have tons of groups and websites all over the internet, specially devoted to stepfamilies and the problems they may have. Please go there, you will find articles, advice and people who you can share experiences with. Here's one for people in ... (read in full...)
Have I had my chance already? I still love my late husband. Or should I search for a husband so my child will have a father figure in her life?
Q. I just start dating again after 3 years after my husband's death. He was always be in my heart but i think my daughter keep asking my for a daddy i try to explain to her that daddy will always be with us, and he's watching over us. I just nee...
A. 19 November 2011: Yes.. 3years... I want you to start dating again. It's healthy and it's what your husband would want. You may fall in love, you may not, but it's not fair to him, or to your daughter if you try to climb into the grave with him. Sorry babes, go ... (read in full...)
What happens between a stripper and a client during a lap dance?
Q. Can anyone tell me what happens between a stripper and her "client" during a lap dance? What happens in the VIP or champagne rooms? What is the difference in a lap, couch, table, or bed dance? How much does an evening at a strip club usually cost?...
A. 19 November 2011: In the UK, touching in sex clubs is illegal. Every country has different rules. Any sexual contact and these clubs can get closed. They are supposed to have a no touching 3ft rule. But girls can make private arrangements, and often arrange to ... (read in full...)
I just don't want to be treated differently because of my gender
Q. hey all those who are there... im having a little issue with my partner at the moment... all my life i've been treated differently because i'm female and it really bugs me, i don't understand why all women are put under the same category like...
A. 19 November 2011: Dump the guy and go out with someone who has different morals and manners. He wants to make you safe, he would feel angry with himself if he let you walk alone. His family would probably be upset as well. It's the way he's been brought up, he's ... (read in full...)
I dont' want to waste my time with the wrong man
Q. Hi I'm a single mum of 2 beautiful children under 5 and last September I met a wonderful man online. The relationship has been great, he's amazing with my children and I love him with all my heart...but I can't shake this feeling something isn't ...
A. 19 November 2011: "I'm suffering with depression due to the stuff I've been through and have no idea how to be a rational adult so am worried I'm overthinking everything. I just want to be happy and loved I have so much love to give :-( " You know that your not th... (read in full...)
How do I overcome my boyfriends past behaviour and gain my confidence back, should I stay or go?
Q. Hello everyone, I would really appreciate some advice off both men and women please, I desperatly need help of some sort, as much as possible please. I am a 22 year old woman, my boyfriend is 32, I have been with him near 4 years now. He is my fi...
A. 19 November 2011: You enter the relationship as a virgin, with no insecurities or hang ups about yourself. After meeting him, you now feel insecure, you don't like your body, and you feel unsexy. You only retain some confidence, because other men make you feel ... (read in full...)
Can a guy's car make him more (or less) attractive?
Q. Here’s a bit of a strange question. Does the type of car a guy has make him more attractive or less attractive? Does it have an influence on women? The reason I am asking this question is because of this, I used to have a classic BMW, one with ch...
A. 19 November 2011: You can't tell nothing from a mans car. In my area, the guys with the nicest cars are either drug dealers or are living in their bedroom of their mothers house. That's probably why I like bikers. They seem to think for themselves, aren't worried ... (read in full...)
B/f will not perform oral sex on me but he did for his ex!
Q. My boyfriend of 2 yrs WILL NOT perform oral sex on me. He use to do it to his past girlfriends, especially this one girl who he had been going back and forth with for like 6 years. He even had an old poem on a blog site about how he wished he could...
A. 18 November 2011: He has smokers breath - Do you kiss him?... (read in full...)
Why do cocky, unattainable guys go for me..the weird, purple-haired, fire-spinning girl? Is it because I seem unattainable? And why don't the "nice" guys ever fall for me?
Q. I've never been the "popular girl" or the prettiest or anything like that.... in fact, I'm kind of weird (I'm nerdy, into cartooning and fire spinning and admittedly a bit of a stoner). I'm in ok shape but not a bombshell by any means. I dye my hair ...
A. 18 November 2011: Yep, your a challenge.. but also they probably think your like them, outgoing with a love of excitement. The "nice" guys are probably frightened of you, and think that you won't like them. They also probably don't like the "stoner" bit, and think ... (read in full...)
New boyfriend's female friends.....
Q. Hi hi.. My boyfriend and I have been going out for about 5 months. Its all going well, we have been taking it slowly, not rushing anything, and were both really happy. The thing I am wondering about it, is the fact that he has so many female ...
A. 18 November 2011: Yep, of course it's normal to have women friends. I know tons of guys like that. As you say they are a mixture of people he has spent quality time with, doing interesting things. Guys that like women, and can do hobbies with them are guys that ... (read in full...)
This guy I met two weeks ago has put all other men in the shade!
Q. I don't know what to do, I met this guy two weeks ago on a night out. It was probably one of the best nights I've had in a long time! It was because this guy made me feel like my life was out of a movie and treated me so well. The way he looked at ...
A. 18 November 2011: Yep, them magical nights with prince charming on your arm, sure are wonderful. But, if you and him were serious, one of you would have gotten a telephone number. Sorry babes, just one of them things. You'll forget him in time when you meet ... (read in full...)
In 10 months we have never been out anywhere together and only his brother knows about me, should I leave him?
Q. Hi I was just wondering why men always have to play games when they know a woman likes them? I met a man nearly 10 months ago now we live close by he asked me out and I have a three year old son from a previous relationship. anyway I couldn't get a ...
A. 18 November 2011: He's not playing games, he is just using you for sex. This isn't a proper girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. He doesn't introduce you to anyone, this is just a booty call, he doesn't take you any where. Are you sure this guy is single and doesn't ... (read in full...)
Is this normal behaviour?
Q. If a man knows a woman is not attracted to them (as in she has repeated many times that she just does not like him in that way) and when she is drunk, he persists in asking her to sleep with him and argues with her reasons for not wanting to (and ...
A. 18 November 2011: It's normal if the man is a creep. Best thing to do is to stop talking to him. Guys like that don't give up. He's hoping one day you'll be drunk enough to say yes.... (read in full...)
Is it appropriate to hug a teacher?
Q. first of all,there is an english teacher that i really like and she's a female teacher. she teached me before two years and we are still in the same school and i see her every week. but the problem is that she told me that she's going to another ...
A. 18 November 2011: It's not appropriate to hug teachers, especially where you live. But you are a kid, and it's hard to handle emotions when somebody goes away. I think it's best if you tell her exactly how you feel. Tell her you want to hug her, because she's such ... (read in full...)
Can a guy's car make him more (or less) attractive?
Q. Here’s a bit of a strange question. Does the type of car a guy has make him more attractive or less attractive? Does it have an influence on women? The reason I am asking this question is because of this, I used to have a classic BMW, one with ch...
A. 18 November 2011: I'm a like men who ride bikes myself. Push bikes, makes them fit and sexy, stops them from getting fat. Never understood the car thing. It's got four wheels and moves, who cares who it's made by. But most women I know, do have a thing for men in ... (read in full...)
18 in love with a man 30 years older than me
Q. basically i am in love with a man who is 30 years older than me. i am 18. we have been 'friends with benefits' exclusively for 2 years but have a stupid habit of calling each other bf or gf. i went to visit him about a week ago and we decided ...
A. 18 November 2011: Hi baby girl.. I thought I scared you, and you wouldn't come back again. You are very brave. So how much was I right about and how much did I get wrong? You got courage, I like that.. but I do not like him very much. Anyway, you two are finished ... (read in full...)
Met him online, love him, but he wants sex before marriage
Q. Gud evening , my question is . I met a guy online he live in abroad so since then we have been chatting on november 2011 he propose to me he said he's coming back next month and we will make love before marriage and am not ready to make love ...
A. 18 November 2011: Guy just wanted sex.. forget him.... (read in full...)
My Bf has given me an ultimatum-either I orgasm with him and without my vibrator or he's going to break up with me!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 2.5 years and I always thought we had a pretty good sex life. We have sex 5-8 times a week usually and feel really comfortable with each other and have great chemistry. It might help to preface this with saying ...
A. 17 November 2011: I like the fact that you are trying to find out all the ways you can get pleasure in sex. Good on you for putting no limits on yourself.... (read in full...)
Is it weird going off to university as a virgin?
Q. This is going to seem like a bit of an overreaction probably...and it's probably a silly question. I guess I'm feeling a little insecure about being a virgin. I'm only 17 and in my last year of school, but it's starting to look like I'll be hea...
A. 17 November 2011: Normal.. half the young people are lying, half had bad sex and regret it and will go on to make more sexual mistakes.. (oh dear no more half's left) The rest of you are virgins. Some happy to be one, and waiting for the right time and the right ... (read in full...)
He keeps telling me I need to move on but comes back to me whenever he is upset! Now he is seeing my friend, should I just delete both of them out of my life?
Q. My ex and i broke up 5 months ago and he keeps telling me i have to move on, we decided to stay friends but hes always talking to me and kind of treating me like were still in a relationship, ex. (he still calls me when hes upset with anything, ...
A. 17 November 2011: Don't cut him off completely, but start to give him the cold shoulder, and create some distance between you. When he calls, say your too busy to talk. If he says he misses you, laugh and say, that's nice, but I've moved on now. I can't miss ... (read in full...)
What comes first, friends or girlfriend?
Q. I am 19 and my boyfriend the same. This is his first relationship, but not my first. We have been together almost 5 months. I have a problem with him putting his friends before me. I value friendships myself, and think friends are important, and you ...
A. 17 November 2011: Another thing.. look at the reality of your situation.. your only seeing the guy once a week... you don't really know if you can actually live with him. What will be your feelings if you see him every day? What bad habits and attitudes has he ... (read in full...)
How do you find a good woman when you know that you walked away from the best one 10 years ago?
Q. I am now 33 years old. I have been single for nearly a year trying to figure out why it is that I am still single. 10 years ago I had a great relationship with the woman of my dreams. I asked her to marry me during her church Christmas special. Of ...
A. 17 November 2011: "I needed to do more and be more and was unfortunately bored with her"
That was the truth then.. don't revisit the past and try to rewrite it. You did what you had to do, you had to grow and experience things, you would have been unhappy if you s... (read in full...)
What comes first, friends or girlfriend?
Q. I am 19 and my boyfriend the same. This is his first relationship, but not my first. We have been together almost 5 months. I have a problem with him putting his friends before me. I value friendships myself, and think friends are important, and you ...
A. 17 November 2011: I met my guy at 18... spent 18years with him.. now I'm single.. Celtic Tiger didn't mean it won't work, more that it PROBABLY won't work. We don't want to crush your dreams, but the statistics show that young love mostly doesn't last. You both get ... (read in full...)
B/f will not perform oral sex on me but he did for his ex!
Q. My boyfriend of 2 yrs WILL NOT perform oral sex on me. He use to do it to his past girlfriends, especially this one girl who he had been going back and forth with for like 6 years. He even had an old poem on a blog site about how he wished he could...
A. 17 November 2011: I'm a black woman, and I'm sensitive about such things.. if any man says anything about my smell... I will dump him.. I don't care how nice he is...... (read in full...)
Trust issues with an otherwise perfect boyfriend... help
Q. Ok so i i've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year.. before we started dating i said i didn't want to get into a relationship because i've dated a porn addict in the past and been cheated on several times (not to sound like the victim here! ...
A. 17 November 2011: I'll put my cards on the table, I have no problem with porn. Now lets get on with the issues, there are 3 things going on here. Lets start with the easiest one.
1. You made a contract.. You don't date men who use porn, he understood this rig... (read in full...)
Self-conscious because he seems to pay attention to the parts of my body that need toning
Q. For men (and women who can relate): When I am intimate with my boyfriend, he tends to grab onto my "cushions" - I'm a bit of a voluptuous girl (130lb, 5'5) and I guess it makes me uncomfortable that he is grabbing onto my thighs or tummy because it ...
A. 17 November 2011: Relax and change your thinking. You don't like your body, but he does.. and when it comes to women's bodies, men are smarter than us. He likes you fine, you are soft and womanly, no wonder he wants to touch. We women always want to hate ... (read in full...)
What comes first, friends or girlfriend?
Q. I am 19 and my boyfriend the same. This is his first relationship, but not my first. We have been together almost 5 months. I have a problem with him putting his friends before me. I value friendships myself, and think friends are important, and you ...
A. 17 November 2011: I got nothing more to add... celtic tiger said it all. Ask him to see you an extra day. Step back and stop worrying and let the future take care of itself. We older people can tell you from experience, life has a way of messing up any grand plans ... (read in full...)
What comes first, friends or girlfriend?
Q. I am 19 and my boyfriend the same. This is his first relationship, but not my first. We have been together almost 5 months. I have a problem with him putting his friends before me. I value friendships myself, and think friends are important, and you ...
A. 16 November 2011: No.. his view of relationship isn't screwed up, but you don't want the same things at the moment. This is normal at his age. You want to be around him, but he wants to socialize and be with his gang. It's only been 5months, that's a new ... (read in full...)
My Bf has given me an ultimatum-either I orgasm with him and without my vibrator or he's going to break up with me!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 2.5 years and I always thought we had a pretty good sex life. We have sex 5-8 times a week usually and feel really comfortable with each other and have great chemistry. It might help to preface this with saying ...
A. 15 November 2011: We like you kid, and we is hoping and wishing you well... (read in full...)
My Bf has given me an ultimatum-either I orgasm with him and without my vibrator or he's going to break up with me!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 2.5 years and I always thought we had a pretty good sex life. We have sex 5-8 times a week usually and feel really comfortable with each other and have great chemistry. It might help to preface this with saying ...
A. 13 November 2011: The thing is, your very young, only 22. Many women find sex gets better as they are older. I'm also wondering. You say you sometimes have orgasm during sexual intercourse with him, but you can't orgasm through touching or oral sex. No there is ... (read in full...)
18 in love with a man 30 years older than me
Q. basically i am in love with a man who is 30 years older than me. i am 18. we have been 'friends with benefits' exclusively for 2 years but have a stupid habit of calling each other bf or gf. i went to visit him about a week ago and we decided ...
A. 12 November 2011: Young lady... I noticed from the start that you like to hide things. You've probably been hiding all of this from your parents. Little by little you tell us more of the story, and the more you tell the worst it gets. No wonder your parents are ... (read in full...)
18 in love with a man 30 years older than me
Q. basically i am in love with a man who is 30 years older than me. i am 18. we have been 'friends with benefits' exclusively for 2 years but have a stupid habit of calling each other bf or gf. i went to visit him about a week ago and we decided ...
A. 10 November 2011: OK, it's the age thing. I wouldn't like my young daughter dating a man so old. But if you love each other and he treats you right, your parents will eventually understand.
If it's love, he needs to prove to your parents that you are his world. ... (read in full...)
18 in love with a man 30 years older than me
Q. basically i am in love with a man who is 30 years older than me. i am 18. we have been 'friends with benefits' exclusively for 2 years but have a stupid habit of calling each other bf or gf. i went to visit him about a week ago and we decided ...
A. 9 November 2011: I really don't understand. So he's older, so what... there is nothing illegal in your relationship. Your not married, and you didn't mention any wife for him. Why can't you be his proper girlfriend? So what if he has a sick mum. Ther... (read in full...)
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