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Should I wait for the right one to lose my virginity or find a complete stranger on Craigslist?

Tagged as: Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 December 2011) 13 Answers - (Newest, 5 December 2011)
A male United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I am a 21 yr old male and I am a virgin. I am thinking about using Craigslist and having sex with a complete stranger to lose it. I know craigslist isn't the best place to go. . .

My question is should I have sex with a stranger or wait until I find the one that I love and want to be with?

Suggestions and please explain your reasoning as yes or no.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States + , writes (5 December 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI would wait till you find "the right one" it may not be the right one for life but it will be the "right one for now" and that's a good thing.

do not have sex with a stranger especially one on craigslist.

a. it's not safe you could get hurt or catch some disease or be killed

b. it will not mean anything... I personally think that folks make too big a deal about virginity but tha'ts me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2011):

Hi, there is an interesting mix of views here. I only lost my v plates severalmonths ago (im just 21) for about I would say 4 years before this at every NYE I would say this was my year. On my 20 I gave up on the idea that I would ever find a boyfriend and lose my virginity. I considered your route, I also considered asking a male friend. However strangely about 3 weeks after my birthday a friend of mine said he really liked me etc etc and we started dating, we slept together 3 months into the relationship and now nearly a year later we are still madly in love. My point is, wait, you don't know what is round the corner for ypu. My bf had slept with another girl before me, he had been seeing this girl for a.couple of months and he said he felt under pressure to have sex and regrets it today as he said it was the biggest compliment in the world to him that I had waited and chosen him and wish he could have given me yje same. Hope you see where I'm coming from. Please wait, you will regret it when you meet the girl for you.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (4 December 2011):

tennisstar88 agony auntDo you not watch the news? Have you not heard of the Craigslist Killer or the recent killings involving Craigslist?

Please don't lose your V-card to some random potential man-hating serial killer on Craigslist (who has intentions of chopping off your member).

Either hold out for someone you actually like, or find a female friend who is willing to get involved in a FWB if you want to gain some sexual experience.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (3 December 2011):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntHere's a hint: Unlike women... the "virginity" of a guy is NOT evident... UNLESS he fails to keep his mouth shut and TELLS the prospective conquest that he hasn't been on this turf, previously.....

Sooooo, wait until you find some great girl.... who you REALLY like.... and put out for her.... and enjoy yourself,... and save your dignity.... and have a good time for the first time.....

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2011):

It's great to wait for the right girl.

But is that "right girl" waiting for you right now? The same people who tell you to wait for her will probably tell you "Oh just forget about it, it's no big deal" when you find out she had casual sex with 15 other jerks while you were waiting for her.

So my advice is to do whatever the hell you want right now. Be a male slut or wait for your future wife or anything in between.

I will agree that waiting for a decent relationship (or a decent dating partner, or even just a friend you trust) is better than a prostitute though. Very few people lose it to prostitutes and don't regret it later.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2011):

Don't listen to anyone here. I waited just like you (I'm a girl though) and for the past four years I came here to this site, asking what I should do...they all told me to wait. Well, until a few months ago, I was a virgin...do you know why? Because I waited. Then I gave up and had a one night stand withsome from an adult site for sexual encounters. I am SO glad I did... because now I dont feel like a freak or a weirdo. Just do it and get it out the way.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (3 December 2011):

Miamine agony aunt21years is still young, no hurry or problem yet.. wait right now. Start thinking what kind of woman you want, and what kind of man you need to be to attract her. Work on yourself and gain more confidence. Go out and find friends, men friends and women friends, try to be more social, so you will get to meet a lot more women, and then you'll have more choices.

People on craigslist could be strange, they could do funny stuff and make you frightened of sex.

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A female reader, fi_the_tree United Kingdom +, writes (3 December 2011):

fi_the_tree agony auntYeah, go with a stranger, get her pregnant and get yourself an STD!!! You never know, you may even end up being HIV positive!! Yaaaaaay!!!!

In all seriousness, wait until you find someone you love...

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A male reader, dougbcoll United States + , writes (3 December 2011):

dougbcoll agony aunti will agree with starlights, and chickpea. i threw away my virginity at age 18 30 + years ago to a prostitute , and all it was sex. there was no emotional connection, i don't know anything about her. it was just sex,empty, and nothing special. i look back on and wish i had saved it for my wife that i met 2 years later. most of all don't give yourself any regrets to look back on in life, wishing you had done things different. the choice is yours choose carefully .

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A female reader, auntyR United Kingdom +, writes (3 December 2011):

i think you should wait untill you find someone who you actually want to share that experience with. After all sex that actually means something feels sooo much better then just a quick romp with a random. It's more intense and you want to make your other half feel as amazing as you do. So don't rush into it. I know a couple of people who are still virgins at 25 years old. I lost my virginity when i was 20, so don't panic. It will happen one day.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2011):

I think you should wait until you meet the right person if you lose it to a stranger in years to come you will regret it I lost mine to my boyfriend who I was with for nearly three years and I never regreted It

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A female reader, Starlights United Kingdom +, writes (3 December 2011):

Starlights agony auntHello there!

I am biased here... the first time i lost my virginity was when I was deeply in Love and in a committed relationship not to a stranger.

I think the "first time" should be "special" not just to be rushed into.

Ideally the first time should be with someone special that your in a loving relationship with, who understands you, who you trust and who you want to share your body and first experience with!

NOT with someone you dont know, have little or no feeling for, and who probably move on to the next body in five minutes.

Sex is always better in a loving caring trusting warm relationship.

Its always wonderful to feel your giving some healing to the one you love through the sex act.

Doing it with a complete stranger is definately not the same! its on a lower level and is as good as (excuse me here) going to the toilet!

Ultimately the choice is upto you... there is nothing wrong with being a virgin. So dont rush to lose it. Pride yourself in waiting for someone fantastic for you!

Alot of youngesters are pressured into Sex because I feel it is always wayyyyyy hyped up in the media.

Personally i think you should wait til you find the girl who makes your heart beat, and who makes your stomach have butterflies, who makes you feel LOVE and care deep in your heart... add that with the act of sex and you have CHEMISTRY and a far far far better first time experience :)

Hope that helps!

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A female reader, chickpea2011 United States +, writes (3 December 2011):

chickpea2011 agony auntHi,

I know that you are a young man, and have needs... However is better to wait for a nice girl... Instead looking for craiglist, why don't you go out with friends and try to meet nice girls??? So much better... I think that your 1st time should be special, and memorable.

Also, you never know what kind of women you'll find? You have to consider STD? Ugh... These are the best years of your life, you are young, will make lots of friends, and meet so many nice decent girls... Go out, have fun, enjoy while you are still young.... It's so much fun getting to know a person, becoming friends, doing new things together... Please, do not search for women in craiglist!!

Good luck

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