New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login237593 questions, 1045968 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap
*lderthandirt agony aunt


  (Male   XML/RSS

Like what he writes?
... Add *lderthandirt to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *lderthandirt a private message

*lderthandirt's Ratings

Rating: 6.43

*lderthandirt's profile:

I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot.

1234567891011Next > [62 pages, 2456 answers]

Too long without the right man. Help!

Q.   It's going to be 5 years soon that I am single. Sure, I've met people and "dated" (very very briefly) a few guys but haven't been able to find a guy to actually have a decent relationship with in all this time. I enjoyed being single (primarily for ...

A.   25 June 2017: No worries- "The "right" one" is out there waiting for you wondering the same woe is me thoughts. ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend wants to wait but I'm frustrated

Q.   My girlfriend doesn't want to have sex until she is married. She is a virgin. I am frustrated telling her how important sex is in relationship and how deeply emotionally we can be connected. She even used to give her ex bf liberty to have sex with...

A.   24 June 2017: You should relax. She has a gift for you and should be able to give it to you whenever she is ready.... (read in full...)

My man has lost his libido

Q.   Dear Cupid, I have been together with my partner for 6 years now. The problem is my man has gone off sex and I don’t know what to do about it. I have talked this through with him and he just says that it’s not important and he doesn’t feel like...

A.   23 June 2017: Yes mken can lose their sex drives but it usually follows a problem with the prostate gland being in a bad way , For example; If a guy has undergone radiation for prostate cancer or has prostate cancer he may lose desire. Also a low level of ... (read in full...)

Is my pedicure cause for concern?

Q.   I am not sure if I should be offended or not? But I AM!! I just got a pedicure and I love it. I like the colour. It is bright and summery. My boyfriend did not share my enthusiasm. He said pedicures with any colour draw attention to feet, and he ...

A.   23 June 2017: I'll tell you what's ugly--- The lack of a pedicure draws more attention than well groomed feet. I'm a guy and the ugliest thing is a woman's feet that have been neglected. we don't look a women's feet to see dirty nails all curled and discolored. ... (read in full...)

We don't want kids or pregnancy but husband is against abortion. Help!

Q.   My husband and I never wanted children. I dislike children and the thought of being pregnant. He is fine with them but prefers not to have any of his own. We have always used condoms. I have never used any other kind of birth control. I do no...

A.   22 June 2017: A better way to solve this "problem" is for him to get a vasectomy... (read in full...)

Do I ask him about marriage? children? He says he doesn't ever want to marry again

Q.   Is it wrong to ask my boyfriend to think about having children and getting married? We both have a daughter each, and he has been divorced for the last 3 years officially. He is 10 years older then me, and we met while he was in the process of g...

A.   22 June 2017: Once a guy gets a divorce he must go through a long drawn out process of mourning the loss of being with the one he had committed his life to. Even though he may not still love her there is still that trauma of loss. Some can recover sooner than ... (read in full...)

Does her telling me to move on really mean its over?

Q.   Hello i was in a relationship with a woman for 17 months , she ended it because we argued, quite a bit , as she wanted to settle down,and i did , but not yet , she said at begining of april ,can,t say goodbye , so i,ll say goodnight, that was the ...

A.   21 June 2017: Sorry about the heartbreak dude but when it comes to she wants you to move on..She's not kidding. Go forth and find a better one.... (read in full...)

Should I end my it with my cybersex buddy ?

Q.   Hello Dear cupid , I have a issue..... I have a pen pal in another country he is in the U.K. And I'm in the USA we met on Instagram it started out friendly but gradually got flirty and sexual we are both really attracted to each other and have ...

A.   21 June 2017: Cyber sex is kind of like phone sex.. An invisible person on each end of a communication line masturbating. As such it is impossible to develop real feelings anymore than having an outing with a porn star on a porn site. Let it go and deal with ... (read in full...)

I think my wife had experience before we married but I'm afraid to ask her

Q.   I was a virgin until I got married. I did not know to use condoms. My wife taught me to use condoms correctly and after using dispose them also. Some where in my mind I am having a doubt whether she had experience before marrying me. I don't have ...

A.   20 June 2017: The "real" question is: What difference should it make? Big deal! She obviously didn't have to ask you. It does not require a degree in engineering to figure out how to don a condom . Maybe she ids just a wee bit more intelligent or a better ... (read in full...)

What goes through a man's head when he sees his wife having sex with another man?

Q.   To make it short my husband and I are into guys joining us for sex . But husband has always joined for sex until recently when at a party when a black guy paid attention to me more than normal. So at husbands request I invited him home for a ...

A.   17 June 2017: That is insane! no one I know would ever want to see his wife have sex with another person. You are in a sick relationship. Another great question is what goes on in a wife's head that wants to "perform" in front of her husband? Why don't you both ... (read in full...)

The way he answered a question..wouldn't he have said if he had a girlfriend?

Q.   MEN what does this mean? one day my crush had came late 2 pick me up and I said you're late and he said traffic, laughing and I said I hope you don't use that excuse on your girlfriend. he said nothing, he just laughed and smiled....and I smiled and ...

A.   16 June 2017: Sounds like he was laughing at you for joking about another gf... (read in full...)

Why do people behave so weirdly online vs in real life?

Q.   why do people behave so weirdly online vs in real life? i know i do it too, and i just want to know the reasons. i go to college with a guy i really like and who i think really likes me, we go out together all the time, and we make plans together ...

A.   15 June 2017: Never trust online stuff If it's not face-to-face then assume it's BS. ... (read in full...)

We meet just once a month for sex. This isn't a healthy relationship, right? Should I let him go?

Q.   I've been dating this guy for about 9 months and he works full time. I only see him once a month and when I do see him it's only for sex. I understand that he has a crazy work schedule but once a month? We've had problems before because he was ...

A.   14 June 2017: You call it a relationship. I call it he gets the rewards you get the nothing.... (read in full...)

Worried he will drop me if I don't go further

Q.   I am 14 and i have been in this relationship with this boy we have been dating for 3 months and i really like him. The thing is normally we would shift and kiss and all that but he said that he wants to top me this means to take off my shirt and ...

A.   14 June 2017: When you finally do meet someone that respects you and wants to make out the "normal" way you'll realize that this idiot was a chump.... (read in full...)

Should his life choices be a dealbreaker?

Q.   I met a man at my job and we worked together a few months. I since have left the job because I got something better :) I never date co-workers but we did flirt a lot at the job. Only after I left did i agree to date him. He revealed to me a DUI he h...

A.   14 June 2017: You have described what I call a loser... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has been mock hitting me

Q.   Hi, we've been in a relationship my boyfriend and I for 8 mth, we live together, he is a musician, gets hard for him to be talkative so I beleive he is not that skillful linguistically, and I understand the musician he is and how introvert he could ...

A.   12 June 2017: Trust your instincts. Sounds like your instincts are "suggesting" that there might be a real hit coming soon. You might well be in a dangerous situation. REAL men don't hit someone they love or even pretend to do it. The next pretend hit may be the ... (read in full...)

Am I too sexual for him? Our sex life seems bland.

Q.   Hi need some advice on my sex life. So I've been in a relationship for two years and I love my bf very much. The problem is that our sex life is quite bland. I am quite adventurous and kinky I love to go down on him but he doesn't reciproc...

A.   11 June 2017: What? I must have been born on a different planet. I think this is a"you've been punked" question.... (read in full...)

What can I do? How should I handle this? Her sexual past and her ex who was her FWB are issues that are making me feel insecure.

Q.   Ok so me and my gf have been going out for about 8 months. And I've been struggling with her sexual past a lot recently. She's slept with about 10 people before me, they were all ons apart from one friends with benefits she had just before we start...

A.   10 June 2017: Well, an "experienced lover has advantage s She's with you now so be confident that you are "better" than the previous encounters.... (read in full...)

My partner for 3 years loves me. Would it be wrong to take a chance with another man who I've loved for 27 years?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I have recently been contacted by the man I've been in love with for 27 years. There are songs I couldn't listen to, our anniversary date that I still hold dear to my heart. I hadn't laid eyes on him in 18 years and that one time wa...

A.   7 June 2017: Oh that unrequited love.. is he the man for ? Maybe... The real question is: Do you smash up a known quantity on the creaky old chance with that old flame that may not even feel the same for you anymore? Think long and hard over it and then do ... (read in full...)

How can I make my Bf quit weed?

Q.   My boyfriend smokes weed and he lies to me that he doesnt. I know he loves me a lot and will never ditch me, but my parents wont accept him, if he doesnt quit weed. He knows that too but he just doesn't quit it. He wants to marry me but i can't g...

A.   6 June 2017: Say to him; " It's either weed or me, make a choice!"... (read in full...)

What do I do? I feel I can't trust him anymore after what's happened.

Q.   Hi I've been in what I thought was a happy relationship for the past 3 and a half years. A couple of weeks ago I went on my Facebook and seen he had became friends with 2 women. I asked who they were and he denied he had added anyone. I had my s...

A.   6 June 2017: "Friends " on a lame social media site isn't exactly "cheating" It's kind of dumb if you ask me. Dump FB and all other such BS. Just live life like normal people do it's a lot simpler and less stress over silly stuff like how many "friends you have ... (read in full...)

What advice can you offer for brides living in same home as their inlaws?

Q.   My husband to be is a very simple minded guy. He hates critics, conflicts,and complaints. He tries to keep the peace by keep his patience( which i appreciate highly) or sometimes avoiding from it. We are going to marry in several months and we ar...

A.   4 June 2017: As a parent having been through this situation. Be VERY Quiet during sex. Never yell out during orgasm. Your father-in-law will be very uncomfortable the next day.... (read in full...)

Recently, my girlfriend starts to bleed everytime she orgasms. What could be wrong with her?

Q.   Hello all, I've been with my girlfriend for around seven years. We are our firsts in pretty much everything. Love her to bits still. No fights, good sex life, nothing wrong really. However, something has occurred in our sex-life which I...

A.   3 June 2017: A doctor is needed but I'll bet it's intense pressure breaking a blood vessel.... (read in full...)

I have literally no interest in pursuing girls anymore, is this normal?

Q.   Hi all, I have a situation where I can't decide whether it's normal or not. Basically, I have literally no interest in pursuing girls anymore. I'm 25 years old, never had a GF, my sexual experiences are one night stands or brief flings and...

A.   28 May 2017: why rush back into the grand abyss? take a break, go on a cruise or a vacation to some out-of-the-way place like New Zealand or Borneo? There really is more to life than one night stands. You just need to go "smell the roses' for a week or two. ... (read in full...)

He has ED, should I stay with him?

Q.   I am planning to settle down with this guy as I really want kids (I've wanted them for years) and I'd like someone to help bring them up. I've been dating for a few months and found out that he has erectile dysfunction. I am not in love with him...

A.   27 May 2017: If you're not in love with him what's the point?... (read in full...)

How can I forgive my boyfriend for drunk cheating?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have lived together since February, our one year is in a couple days. Last month he came home at 2:30 in the morning after drinking, he told me his car battery had died on his way home from work so he was stuck. i went through his ...

A.   26 May 2017: You can't "make it work" nor can you in-ring a bell. Need to find a more suitable love interest.... (read in full...)

How do I play it on the 2nd date?

Q.   Hey guys, I'll try and keep this short and sweet, basically I met a girl on a dating site, after a few days of messaging, we went out on a date the other night. She said beforehand how shy/ nervous she is, anyway, we went on the date, and it went ...

A.   25 May 2017: OK, here's a thought when you get to the movie. Ask her very politely if it would be alright to place your arm around her. If she's uncomfortable with that, she'll let you know. If not, then do it slowly and gently and do no more than that. At ... (read in full...)

How can I erase this mental abuse?

Q.   How can stop measuring my value by a man- since being young my parents and grand parents have lived a life according to what society thinks is right. My mom married my dad and stayed in a physically abusive relationship only because she didn't like ...

A.   25 May 2017: Erase all that baggage and get it out of your day-to-day stream of thought. What's past is past. Treat each day as a brand new beginning. you will go crazy trying to place blame for everything on how others lived their lives. You are in control of ... (read in full...)

We are newly weds. Should I confront him over this? He's been watching porn, alone, when I've been at work

Q.   Hi I am 61 years old my husband is the same age. He has trouble keeping an erection but he tries he says it's do to his blood pressure. We have only been marriedx for 7 months now i know he likes porno. I have watched it with him What bothers m...

A.   25 May 2017: If he thinks his blood pressure is an issue then insist on seeing a cardiologist for a complete workup. The porn is a separate issue. It sounds as if he's trying to find an answer to performance issues in the bed that might not be blood pressure ... (read in full...)

How much do I need to earn to be an acceptable bride?

Q.   Hi , Thanks for reading my post. I am very confuse with my current situation. I am 38-year-old female. I am in US. I work as nanny. I done my becholer from Middle East. But, I was not able to focus to my career in US. My father was sick I was takin...

A.   18 May 2017: As an American male - I am very confused. All a woman needs to DO in my opinion is love her husband period... (read in full...)

Do many females masturbate ? I feel ashamed when I do so.

Q.   Do lots of girls/ladies masterbate? I get so paranoid that I'm abnormal for doing it because my friends never talk about it and sometimes someone will make a comment that it's more of a boy thing and I'll feel ashamed. ...

A.   18 May 2017: Both genders "pleasure themselves" it's totally normal... (read in full...)

I'm worried how rude the nurses will be

Q.   Im going into hospital tomorrow for a minor procedure and the nurses are known to be nasty, what can i do? Am staying overnight and on the ward im going to overnight on the nurses are well known to be sarcastic and cold... I have spoken to s...

A.   17 May 2017: #1 Nurses are generally just the opposite. Nurses in general are very nice and do a great job. An B... Relax you're going to be just fine.... (read in full...)

I'm fixated on having a boyfriend

Q.   I am 15, i have had boyfriends but not proper relationships. I am desperate for a boyfriend. It is on my mind all the time. I don't know any lads my age who would want to date me. I fall in love too easily and always think about boys I don't know ...

A.   11 May 2017: You are at an age where your "inner voice" is driving you to focus on the things that give you immediate gratification. It's not abnormal or anything you just cannot see the bigger picture. Your mother has years of experience and is only interested ... (read in full...)

My husband is almost forcing me to have sex with my lesbian neighbor

Q.   Hi, my husband has recently come home after a month away and suddenly started wanting me to have sex with my lesbian next door neighbour, he doesn't want to watch or be involved at all. We have known she has a crush on me for a long time and given ...

A.   5 May 2017: It's a guy fantasy to be "involved with two women. But this seems more like a test to see if you're "up to it". Just remember you don't HAVE to do anything you're uncomfortable with. He cannot force you to do this; otherwise you have grounds for ... (read in full...)

Confusedabout my feelings

Q.   I apologise this is very long! Around 4 years ago i met this man online. We eventually met up and went for a meal, (i need to mention i was in a bad place back then and very insecure) he was a bit of a d***. He said i had bad table manners, asked if ...

A.   2 May 2017: From your description, it sounds like he is just out 'fishing' for a friends with benefits. I'd be VERY cautious if I were you.... (read in full...)

The fiance, the step daughter, the baby mama and possible cheating!

Q.   Hello, I have been engaged for over 2 years to the man of my dreams. However,we dont get along all the time. He has a daughter and I have a son. Now, his babymother is in the picture and my son father is not. But he gets his daughter every w...

A.   28 April 2017: Yeah you should sounds like there is nothing good gonna happen here. Why not try with a newer dude that'll not have a baby mama joined at the hip. There are "normal folks out there too.... (read in full...)

He went to a strip club, I went to see male dancers and an "eye for an eye" isn't feeling good right now

Q.   I feel like the back story is needed (see below). But, my question is how do I let go of the fact my boyfriend went to a strip club TWO nights in a row while on business? I eneded up going to a male strip club for a girls night recently, now I'm ...

A.   28 April 2017: some things are just better left unsaid. Why share stories when you know it'll just hurt and leave you open for getting hurt back? What goes around comes around.... (read in full...)

Why do many men prefer a tight vagina? Or do they? 2

Q.   Why do many men find a tight vagina so appealing? I was a late bloomer and lost my virginity to my current husband when I was in my 40's. I was married previously to a man who suffered erectile difficulties and was never able to have intercourse...

A.   27 April 2017: Tight vaginas are not necessarily better or worse just different. my wife is so tight as to make penetration painful and nearly impossible not a good thing at all.I'd prefer a snug fit but not a prolapse situation.... (read in full...)

Is it normal for men to have sex when women are having their periods?

Q.   I'm meeting up with my bf next month who stays in another city. The problem is that the date when I will be going, I might be on my periods. I've told him that already to which he has said that he's fine with it. What can this possibly mean? Is he ...

A.   27 April 2017: Not "normal" But acceptable.... (read in full...)

I have trouble expressing my emotions and I don't know what to do about it

Q.   So I just broke up with my ex. He's really popular and all I've had for ages is people coming up to me and making me feel bad. After the breakup, I went to one of my best friends and started laughing even though I was upset. Looking back, that was ...

A.   21 April 2017: In my 'perfect world" it would be better for everyone if we all kept our emotions to ourselves. Sadness is contagious we don't need sadness and that's what I think you want to express. I could be wrong. Hope you find a release soon.... (read in full...)

*lderthandirt's friends

These are mutual friends, so *lderthandirt has added them and they have added *lderthandirt!

Miamine agony auntMiamine

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft