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Irregular periods are making me nervous about having children in the future, what should I do?

Tagged as: Health, Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 November 2011) 13 Answers - (Newest, 19 December 2011)
A female New Zealand age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Just want some readers opinions on this.

I've been tracking my menstrual cycle and in this year alone (2011), ive so far had 6 periods. Obviously this is different to the 'typical' woman who may have 1 every month or so.

It's making me nervous about being able to have children/fall pregnant. Have others had problems and how did this affect your relationship?

My partner claims we will try everything and understands my dream to have my own family, but still seems so casual about it all. We plan to start trying in about a year. I fear he doesnt understand that it worries me a lot, about not being able to have kids or being faulty in that department. Im not meaning it as in to rush him or we should start now, just that it does worry me a lot. It may be fine, but theres that high chance i will have trouble. I'm not sure whether to see a Gynecologist or just leave it and hope for the best when the time comes. Its making me quite worried and upset though i dont find it easy to talk to my partner as each time he shrugs it off saying I'm worrying and we'll work it out. Not sure what else to do :-( any ideas? should i leave it and quit worrying, or seek an expert opinion so my partner understands I'm not worrying for nothing?

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (19 December 2011):

CindyCares agony aunt OP, I would not leave everything to destiny or nature, and if you are so keen on starting a family I would not risk to " see how it goes " and maybe waste a lot of time in the process.

Go see an OB/GYN and make sure that everything is in proper working order BEFORE trying for a baby .

Normally a woman ovulates 13 times a year, if you have 6 periods in a year , that's less than 50% and there must be a reason for that. Probably a very treatable fixable reason, so why not finding out right away and maximizing your chances ?

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A female reader, bluecow United Kingdom +, writes (19 December 2011):

bluecow agony aunthiya hun

Thankyou for updating us all.

If I was in your position I would be popping to the doctors to check that all is well with ovulation. Get them to monitor you to ensure your ovulating properly. That way you will know if there is indeed an infertility issue. The most likely thing is that you are ovulating but of course such an irregular cycle makes it harder to pinpoint.

There are ways to give you an indication. Your body changes arount the time of ovulation, so when you do want to start trying for a baby there are things to do which will increase your chances.

Cervical mucus (not a topic for the dinner table) changes around ovulation. It becomes something termed EWCM (egg white cervical mucus)... in other words it becomes opaque, jelly like and very stretchy. This is your bodys way of making the atmosphere the most welcome to sperm. Some women experience ovulation pain (can be sharp or dull pain on the side your ovulating on) which of course gives you a very good way of timing your bedroom activities. Core body temperature also changes around ovulation, so monitoring this will increase your chances each cycle. Finally there are ovulation testing kits (similar to pregnancy tests to look at) which monitor your hormone levels and indicate your most fertail period in a cycle.

Now assuming your not on any hormonal birth control, you can begin to track your fertile periods by monitoring for EWCM and temperature. That way you get to know your own body much more intimatly and so when the time comes to begin trying you will already be a step ahead.

Hope that helps xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks so much for your answers :)

To Bluecow, I think mine are irregular as in there really isn't an exact amount of days between them. I've tracked them for 2 years and they can be anywhere from 14 days, to 30 days to up to 90 days apart. not really a pattern to them.

I guess when the time comes to trying to have a baby, we'll just try and see what happens...if we hit a wall, will see a Dr for some help.

thanks again

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2011):

I wouldn't worry about this to much I used to be exactly the same I got put on the contraceptive pill cilest and I fell pregnant while on that strange I know lol but I'm now a single mum to a gorgeous three year old boy

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2011):

My girl friend had irregular periods. She even hinted that she might have difficutly conceiving.

Her ex was very careful, using the spermicidal tablet insert religiously, and she was okay. Seems he burned his fingers earlier with someone else who carried his baby.

Guess what? Once, with me, first time, and she was family way!

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A female reader, Candid Cally United States +, writes (30 November 2011):

You need to see a gynecologist. Irregular periods can be a symptom of a hormonal imbalance that could affect your ability to become pregnant.

You need to keep track of your periods on a calendar. Information like what day it begins, how heavy or light your flow is, and any other menstrual symptoms like migraines, fatigue, cramping etc. This information should be brought with you to the doctor appointment and it can help establish whether you may have a medical condition that could impair your fertility, or whether you just have a cycle that is longer in duration than what is considered normal.

Additionally, keeping track of your menstrual cycle can also help you determine when you are most fertile which can help you to become pregnant.

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A female reader, bluecow United Kingdom +, writes (30 November 2011):

bluecow agony auntHiya

Just wanted to add to KC's excellent advice.

You mention your periods are irregular and that you have had 6 cycles this year so far.

How irregular are they? Is there still a pattern?

Some womens cycle is much shorter or longer than the average, however this doesnt mean that they have irregular periods.

My friend has a 21 day full cycle, another has a 48 day cycle... they both have 2 children.

Of course having a longer cycle would mean that you have fewer opportunities each year to fall pregnant (6 instead of 12), but that doesnt necessarily mean there is anything wrong with your fertility.

Irregular periods would mean a 21 day cycle, followed by a 60 day cycle, then 28 days then 14 etc... not following any sort of pattern. Again this doesnt mean you would be infertile, it just makes it harder to pinpoint your most fertil period each cycle.

Either way I urge you to go and get this diagnosed in which case you will know if you have something to worry about or not. Stress is one of the worst things ever for fertility, so worring so much over something you have no diagnosis for will NOT be helping.

Please come and let us know how your getting on!

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (30 November 2011):

Miamine agony auntHope for the best can cause health problems.. Hope for the best can kill. Hope for the best is not a sensible treatment for any problem in life.

Go to the doctors, even if there is nothing wrong, advice and reassurance always helps. Getting advice from the professionals and experts, saves lives, stops cancers, provides treatments, and reduces stress and anxiety.

If your 29 there's a very slight (rare) chance of early menopause (friend started early) or at 29 there's a chance your body still hasn't settled down yet into womanhood, (rare) or maybe your periods are just very light and irregular, or maybe just worrying about it is causing you stress (stress and anxiety can stop periods).. who knows.. the doctor's the only one with the equipment to test and the knowledge to guess.

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A female reader, Battista United Kingdom +, writes (30 November 2011):

The thing is, there's nothing your bf can do, especially at the moment, so he is trying to be pragmatic about things I would have thought.

Go and see a doctor and get a professional opinion. KC100 is right and has some great advice there.

Your bf probably doesn't understand how worried you are and so is trying to cheer you up by urging you not to worry yet. Don't think badly of him. Get to a doctor who should be able to put your mind at rest.

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (30 November 2011):

Abella agony auntDefinitely do see the Doctor. I recall having irregular periods aged 14-15. But not at your age.

there can be all manner of reasons for this.

Give yourself peace of mind first by seeing a specialist, then you can relax knowing you have eliminated anything very serious. Once that is out of the way the Doctor can give you some good advice to reassure you what is and what is not normal and any other advice to assist you to know the true facts.

six periods represents something amiss.But I am sure the Doctor has seen it and more many times before and made it right.

And babies born in your 30s arrive just fine, if all is in perfect working order.

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A female reader, Starlights United Kingdom +, writes (30 November 2011):

Starlights agony auntIrregular periods can be quiet common.

Sometimes its due to stress, hormonal imbalance, medication and other reasons.

I really would recommend you to go to the Dr and find out whats causing your periods to become irregular this year.

Its always good to know the reason.

I dont think it will effect your chances of having children however I do recommend you see the Doctor just to have that peace of mind! Earlier you know the reason the better!

I Hope this helps!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks very much for your answer. I have been to a Dr and had tests done, all came back clear at the time so it was just seen as being normal for me.

I know I shouldnt worry yet but it does worry me a bit as its important to me to be able to one day have kids. I dont think its a weight problem either as I'm in normal for my height. I'm slim but definitely have some body fat so not underweight at all. It's strange but never mind!

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (30 November 2011):

k_c100 agony auntRegardless of the fertility issue you should see a doctor anyway, having 6 periods in 1 year is not normal and you should get checked out to see what the cause of this is. It may be nothing, sometimes women just are irregular and there are no health issues behind it, that is just the way their body works. Or there could be a health problem but you need to see a doctor to be diagnosed.

There is not much point in worrying about having children when you are not starting to try for another year, the more you stress the more likely you are to affect your periods (stress can cause irregular periods) so relax and try not to get too upset about it right now.

See your doctor and get to the bottom of the problem, it may be something as simple as you are underweight so need to put a little weight on or something like that. And try not to worry too much, there is no point in worrying when you dont know anything about the condition at the moment - wait until you have seen a doctor and have some conclusive results before you worry.

I hope this helps and good luck!

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