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... Send *tayc63088 a private message | | | *tayc63088's profile:My name is Stacey. I've been on this site for years. I come and go at times depending on how busy life is.
I've had my share of relationships. And quite a few odd ones at that. I love to give advice when I have been in a similar situation and feel I can help out some. I feel my most common advice is to COMMUNICATE. A lot of people write in about a partner they have been with for years and ask how to tell their partner such and such. A relationship needs communication. Be open and honest always.
I am a newlywed. No children yet. But anyhow, feel free to email me anytime if you need someone to talk to :) |
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Mixed feelings and don't know which way to turn
Q. Hi, I posted a few months ago about my boyfriend and things are no better really. We have been together for 14 months now. I am 38, divorced and he is 43, divorced. We are meant to be getting engaged at Christmas but I am having doubts. I have ver...
A. 10 June 2011: I haven't been on the site in awhile so I just got the update you posted. I'm not sure if the problem is resolved now or not. But if it isn't, is there anyone in your life that could help you? A parent or sibling, a friend or co-worker? I wouldn't ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend ignores me when I talk!
Q. My boyfriend of one year ignores me. When I talk sometimes he just sits and says nothing. I am not asking for a long conversation, but even a "yeah" or "sure", I mean anything. It is extremely rude and driving me crazy. The other day I talked about ...
A. 9 February 2011: I'm sorry you are going through all of this. My boyfriend and I have since worked on the issue. It turned out if I didn't ask a question he really didn't know what to say in response. When he realized I just wanted to converse he has been trying to ... (read in full...)
Mixed feelings and don't know which way to turn
Q. Hi, I posted a few months ago about my boyfriend and things are no better really. We have been together for 14 months now. I am 38, divorced and he is 43, divorced. We are meant to be getting engaged at Christmas but I am having doubts. I have ver...
A. 27 January 2011: Yeah. You should get it over with and not have any excuses. It'll always be something you are putting it off for because it isn't the most pleasant thing to have to do. But how many weekends are you going to do this with him? Why prolong it longer ... (read in full...)
Should I go to this party where there's a chance I could cheat on my boyfriend in a moment of weakness?
Q. Im going away for the weekend because i've been invited to a birthday party ...but my boyfriend is going away too and i was moaning to him about how hes gonna cheat on me ..but the thing is the party im going to has this guy who fancies me and said ...
A. 26 January 2011: No. Out of respect for your boyfriend you should not be around a guy who "can't control" himself around you. Especially if you feel you could cheat. Don't do it to your boyfriend if you love him. ... (read in full...)
Mixed feelings and don't know which way to turn
Q. Hi, I posted a few months ago about my boyfriend and things are no better really. We have been together for 14 months now. I am 38, divorced and he is 43, divorced. We are meant to be getting engaged at Christmas but I am having doubts. I have ver...
A. 26 January 2011: Oh and do not tell him where you are going. He could follow you. Just say "out" and leave. Don't hesitate or stand around, leave immediately. People are crazy when they are in denial and won't let it go. sorry I keep adding posts, lol.... (read in full...)
Mixed feelings and don't know which way to turn
Q. Hi, I posted a few months ago about my boyfriend and things are no better really. We have been together for 14 months now. I am 38, divorced and he is 43, divorced. We are meant to be getting engaged at Christmas but I am having doubts. I have ver...
A. 26 January 2011: I reread it and it sounds like it is your place. Tell him again firmly, "I am done. You WILL be leaving. I am sorry but I do not want to continue this relationship. No amount of talking or persuading or denial will change my mind. If you do not get ... (read in full...)
Mixed feelings and don't know which way to turn
Q. Hi, I posted a few months ago about my boyfriend and things are no better really. We have been together for 14 months now. I am 38, divorced and he is 43, divorced. We are meant to be getting engaged at Christmas but I am having doubts. I have ver...
A. 26 January 2011: You stand strong. You tell him it is in fact over. I don't know the living situation, if it is your house or his. But if it is his house then just leave. If it's yours, then tell him you will call the police if he doesn't get out. If you both own it ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend just a dude being a dude?
Q. my boyfriend is on a forum that talks about just BS stuff, the weather - girls - porn - sex pretty much anything but he's always saying things to people in a sexual way, for example a guy on there posted something that his gf sent him and he put a ...
A. 10 January 2011: I wouldn't say it is a dude being a dude. It is obviously his personality, but I have never dated a guy who talked like that in rl or on the internet. It is up to you if it bothers you or not. If you find it innocent and his version of guy talk then ... (read in full...)
She says there's nothing between us, but I still feel it!
Q. I met a girl roughly a year+ ago, shes best friends with my best friends girlfriend. We were always around each other at outings. I instantly fell for her, I followed by always trying to ask her out, to try to get to know her more but she would ...
A. 10 January 2011: It doesn't sound like you ever let her know how you really felt after the break up. I can't say what is going through her head and why she is so back and forth. But what I would do is say that you would like to try again and you like her etc. If she ... (read in full...)
Waiting for the love of my life, how ever long that may take.
Q. My boyfriend and I were together for 2 years. We broke up this summer because he said he was too young to settle down this early in his life. All summer we had no contact, but we go to the same college and run on the same cross country/track team. ...
A. 7 January 2011: Ok. What is the purpose of him not being together right now, being single for a couple years before he settles down? It has to be to date people. It has to be that he can feel "free" to do whatever he wants, be it sex or random dates. Now ask ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to lose weight!
Q. Help! My boyfriend has a problem with my weight. I think I'm pretty hot though, and not overweight at all. I am 5'6 and weigh 132 lbs. His problem is, I've gained weight since we've been together. When we first met, I was a professional dancer and ...
A. 7 January 2011: How does that make you feel? Like beyond being angry? I think it's a huge test of how someone really feels about you. If physical attraction goes then so does he? He doesn't love you. And to berate you and put you down and tell you to diet? He ... (read in full...)
Why do men play games... how long should I wait for a call or should I call him?
Q. Just wondering from a man's perpective... how long should a girl wait for a guy to call? I met this guy on Facebook and we have a lot of mutual friends.. actually, he went to my high school, so I'm sure we'd have tons in common. Anyway, we kept ...
A. 4 January 2011: What I do that has always worked wonders for me is to be honest and upfront. I don't play the dating games or the bs. I say what I want and what I'm looking for and exactly what I am thinking. Shocks the hell out of most guys but all of them love ... (read in full...)
Do you think a man who gets defensive is guilty?
Q. Do you think a man who gets defensive is guilty? I have been seeing this guy for 8 weeks at first we saw one another 3 -4 times a week suddenly after xmas we slowed down. He seems to be busy or had a quiet weekend. I am not buying it. Something ...
A. 4 January 2011: The relationship started with a lie. I don't see how it could go anywhere. I agree that he probably doesn't see it going anywhere and didn't feel the need to be upfront about his age. Dump him. And I do think that getting really defensive is when ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend ignores me when I talk!
Q. My boyfriend of one year ignores me. When I talk sometimes he just sits and says nothing. I am not asking for a long conversation, but even a "yeah" or "sure", I mean anything. It is extremely rude and driving me crazy. The other day I talked about ...
A. 4 January 2011: Last night we had a fight and I left. Just for a drive, I needed to get out. I have never done that before. I've never left the house at 2am. He didn't do anything. He kept sleeping. I could've gone anywhere and he just didn't care. Didn't call or ... (read in full...)
Am I being a prude by not wanting him to go to this out of town, weekend-long bachelor party?
Q. So I feel I am in a bit of a pickle lately having to do with both my friends bachelorette party and the potential bachelor party my boyfriend has mentioned. Im 22 and my boyfriend and I have been together over 4 years. We are not the type of peop...
A. 4 January 2011: I know this is one of those that you will get answers both ways. I think it is perfectly fine to say you don't want him to go. I would never want my boyfriend to go away to a bachelor party in vegas, let alone with hookers! That's insane. And ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend ignores me when I talk!
Q. My boyfriend of one year ignores me. When I talk sometimes he just sits and says nothing. I am not asking for a long conversation, but even a "yeah" or "sure", I mean anything. It is extremely rude and driving me crazy. The other day I talked about ...
A. 4 January 2011: Seems like a nice excuse if he were 15 or we just started dating. Since he is 30 and we have been together a year I suppose this is how it is. He won't be learning anything new. And I still think it is rude to decide the dialogue is "annoying" or ... (read in full...)
Should I tell her now or never, break up with her now or later??
Q. I've been dating a girl for the past several months. I use the term dating loosely because we haven't had any conversations on boundaries yet or monogamy. That's a problem in itself because she is much more in to me than I am in to her. Don't get me ...
A. 20 December 2010: It can't go great for her either way. Either you dumped her right before the holidays and birthday- what a dick! Or you bought her such and such for her birthday and christmas, why do that just to dump her right afterwards?? What did that mean?? I'm ... (read in full...)
My relationships go nowhere, any secrets to finding a good guy??
Q. I am a 20 year old female that can not find the right guy for anything. i have dated soo many guys and only have had 2 serious relationships that both lasted 2 years. both of those guys left me heartbroken. they both left out of nowhere. this one ...
A. 20 December 2010: You are only 20 years old. I remember going through the same thing though. It seemed like everyone had met someone. And people my age were married already! I realize now it just seemed that way. When you are single and lonely sometimes it feels like ... (read in full...)
He tells me that masturbating to porn everyday before work is normal?
Q. My boyfriend has to watch porn and masturbate everyday before work, even if I'm home he'll do it in the bathroom, he says it has nothing to do with sex, Is this normal, I mean It makes me feel like I'm not enough for him! He don't see a problem...
A. 20 December 2010: God normal is such an annoying term. Who decides what is normal? My boyfriend doesn't masturbate at all and can't have sex every day, or if he does have sex once a day every day then he needs a break after about 4 or 5 days. Then he says it is ... (read in full...)
What can I do to get him to stop 'sexting' other females?
Q. Hi. I am 45 years old and am dating a man age 46. He bartends on the side and know many woman. I do go into his phone every now and then and find evidence of him texting and receiving texts from females some of which are dirty (sexting) and ...
A. 20 December 2010: Leave him. He is cheating and you are allowing it to continue if you stay with him. You should never be worried when your boyfriend picks up the phone that he is talking to another female inappropriately. A relationship without trust is unbearable, ... (read in full...)
Why didn't he text me the next morning after I spent the night?
Q. Why is it guys wait so long to text and/or call? Me and this guy we had worked together for a few months but not anymore. We got to know eachother at work, starting haning out outside of work a few times, made out a few times. The other week we ...
A. 16 December 2010: Nope I agree compeltely with anonymous. No one is "too busy" to answer someone they are into within a weeks time. Not a single excuse for not saying a word in over a week. You said something the other week and no reply... He's not interested. As ... (read in full...)
He will not give me closure until I cut ties with his daughter!
Q. Me and my ex where together for 7 years..In those years I helped him raise his daughter whom I learn to love like my own. We broke up 5 month ago (I cheated)...I still love him and I am very regretful of what i did but he wont take me back...I ...
A. 16 December 2010: You don't mention how old the daughter is. What I would do is the next time she calls, let her know you can't talk anymore. That you and her dad had some problems and you need to let things calm down and not talk for awhile but hopefully things will ... (read in full...)
Why does he keep asking me out and then cancelling?
Q. This is more of a rant than anything else. But I'm just so confused and a bit pissed off to be honest. I met this guy online (mistake number 1) and we talked for months before meeting for the first time. The first meet went fine, it was over coffee ...
A. 21 November 2010: Oh and to answer your question as to why he still texts, to keep you as an option just in case.... (read in full...)
Why does he keep asking me out and then cancelling?
Q. This is more of a rant than anything else. But I'm just so confused and a bit pissed off to be honest. I met this guy online (mistake number 1) and we talked for months before meeting for the first time. The first meet went fine, it was over coffee ...
A. 21 November 2010: I disagree completely. He isn't into you, don't accept another date to get shot down again. Continue to stand up for yourself. Once was too much, but twice cancelling on the same damn day?? Ridiculous. Even if he is seeing other people (which is ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend watches gay porn on a regular basis!
Q. I found out that my boyfriend of 5 years watches gay porn on a regular basis. He has always watched a lot of porn, but about 1 year ago I noticed gay porn and gay dating sites in his search history. He used to say that it was all pop ups from the ...
A. 21 November 2010: I'm going to have to agree with the anonymous poster. Straight women watching lesbian porn is a far cry from men watching gay porn. Speaking as a woman who has watched lesbian porn before, I enjoy it because of the oral. Which I know how it feels ... (read in full...)
He says I'm not what he wants. should I wait for him?
Q. Okay, so im madly in love with my ex who has made it clear as day he doesnt want anything to do with me. we were together for three years and we both just let life get in the way of our relationship. he recently left to the marines. before he l...
A. 21 November 2010: Quiet-echo put it perfectly- "Do not make someone a priority in you life when you are an option in theirs". Why hold out on everything for someone who has told you repeatedly he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you? This is the perfect ... (read in full...)
After six weeks of no contact my ex has sent me an email
Q. My ex boyfriend has emailed me saying he gets scared with relationships and stuff and that he has applied to work abroad for 18 months. He told me how much he would earn and come back with. He also told me he had had his mobile phone stolen. He ...
A. 21 November 2010: Maybe he just wanted to tell you he is getting his life together to try and get another shot with you. Maybe he is just trying to have you in his life in some capacity. we can't really tell you the reason why, we aren't him or even know him. I ... (read in full...)
If I'm the perfect girlfriend then why did he break up with me?
Q. This is eating me up inside...My boyfriend of 1 month broke up with me on thursday and his reasons were very unclear, here is some of what he said: I feel like im not being a good boyfriend to you, you have done nothing wrong and you have been the ...
A. 21 November 2010: I'm with Jmtmj. He just wanted to break up. Guys can give all sorts of reasons. Sometimes valid, sometimes a load of crap to make you or himself feel better. Either way he ended it and it just has to be accpeted, despite the reason. Is it better to ... (read in full...)
I regret that I texted all of his friends about our breakup!
Q. i sent a text to all of his friends of what he did to me in our break up and now i regret it do i tell him im sorry or do i just leave it alone......
A. 21 November 2010: Personally I would just leave it alone. We have all made dumb mistakes after a break up. Just let it go and move on. ... (read in full...)
How long were you in a relationship as a teen before losing virginity?
Q. I'm 16, and i have a lovely boyfriend. he treats me right and im really happy, but it's only been a month. i want to know if you lost your virginity at my age, how long were you in a relationship for?...
A. 21 November 2010: I lost mine at 18 to my boyfriend of 8 months. Just make sure it's what you both want and are ready for before it happens. My first time was awful.... (read in full...)
How do I stop getting so clingy around girls?
Q. Its been two weeks after a 6 week relationship.We agreed to still be friends and it was a possibility we'd get back together. But the past two weeks I've started being extremely clingy and have text her loads. Including texts like 'i miss you'. I ...
A. 21 November 2010: I feel like we all make this mistake at some point until we learn from it. We text how much we miss and want to be with that person, sees that it gets us nowhere and it is embarrassing, then we move on and learn. I remember with my first boyfriend ... (read in full...)
I feel like my boyfriend's dirty little secret
Q. Hoping someone can shed some light on the relationship situation i am in. I have been seeing this guy for 15mths now and although when the mood takes him he will say he loves me, i have never felt so unloved and insecure in my life. I am 35 and h...
A. 21 November 2010: I agree with Kirra as well, it sounds like a friends with benefits thing and he is using you. It's not normal to date for so long and not meet family or be hidden from friends. And to hang out wherever he wants last minute whenever he wants, he ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend goes clubbing with his bros while I stay at home.
Q. Is it ok for your boyfriend to go to the clubs with his friends without you? I trust him and I didn't care untill one of my friends was like I shouldn't let him? I don't know what to do? ...
A. 17 November 2010: Relationships for different couples are different. Some people are fine with this while others can't even fathom it. Doesn't make one right or the other, just what you are okay with in your relationship. If it never bothered you then don't let a ... (read in full...)
How do I go out with the friend of the guy I was dating?
Q. I was seeing this guy and didn't fancy him at all...I tried to give him a chance and all but I didn't feel it.. anyway he fancied me more than I fancied him and now I have started to keep my distance more and more from him as I don't want to go out ...
A. 17 November 2010: I think it'd be fine if he had gone to his friend outright and asked if he was okay with it but doing it behind his back is when I worry he's not a good guy. And if I understand correctly then now the friend won't get back to you about going out ... (read in full...)
How do I go out with the friend of the guy I was dating?
Q. I was seeing this guy and didn't fancy him at all...I tried to give him a chance and all but I didn't feel it.. anyway he fancied me more than I fancied him and now I have started to keep my distance more and more from him as I don't want to go out ...
A. 15 November 2010: I don't feel like you really owe any explanation to the "ex". You barely dated and he isn't your boyfriend anymore. I can understand not wanting to hurt his feelings but hell you have to date at some point and if he liked you a lot then I am sure he ... (read in full...)
Mixed feelings and don't know which way to turn
Q. Hi, I posted a few months ago about my boyfriend and things are no better really. We have been together for 14 months now. I am 38, divorced and he is 43, divorced. We are meant to be getting engaged at Christmas but I am having doubts. I have ver...
A. 15 November 2010: I agree with a previous poster that you should trust your gut instinct. And also another poster who said to look at this from a married woman's pov and how unhappy it would be. You should never marry someone with doubt. It will only be worse only ... (read in full...)
Is it strange that my boyfriend says he loves me after two months?
Q. Hi guys. This may seem like a really silly question but it's something that has been on my mind for a few days. I've been dating this really great guy for about two months now and our relationship started getting physical a couple of weeks ago. Our ...
A. 8 November 2010: Wow, that's not too early at all. Especially since you have been intimate physically and emotionally, and the fact that he hasn't been this way with anyone else. I would imagine it is intense for him and he has very deep feelings for you. When is it ... (read in full...)
Should I contact him after hearing about the message he left for me?
Q. My ex boyfriend is now seeing a new girl. We had a very bad break up. Recently his sister told me he left her a voice mail by accident, he really meant to call ME. The voice mail said "he is sorry for everything, he cares about me, and hopes ...
A. 8 November 2010: I always advise against becoming friends with an ex in hopes of getting them back. You don't actually want to be friends, you just want to date him again, which isn't an actual friendship... But his message said nothing about dating or missing you ... (read in full...)
He cheated on me and is now outside my house wanting to talk to me
Q. so i dumped my boyfriend on saturday because he cheated on me with my friend and after that he kept ringing and texting me and i wasn't answering and now he is standing outside my house he keeps knocking on my door he won't go away i texted him and ...
A. 8 November 2010: Only talk to him if you want to. Do not feel forced to let him in. He cheated on you with your friend so I say let him stand out there all damn night and who gives a shit. Even call the police if you are serious about having him leave and he won't. ... (read in full...)
He makes fun of me, hurts me and then says he loves me?
Q. I stopped at my boyfriends this weekend and he got drunk one night, I was lying on the sofa and he turned to me and said "wheres this come from?" and pointed at my stomach he then said "you've got a right little stomach on you" meaning he thinks ive ...
A. 8 November 2010: To me it sounds like he was being a drunk idiot for a night... I don't know how long you have been dating but assuming this hasn't happened before but I wouldn't call it abuse, just drunken stupidity and rudeness. Mean of course and hurtful but from ... (read in full...)
I put so much into this relationship but he broke up with me because he wanted to try other girls!
Q. Dear Cupid My bf broke up with me yesterday, said like he got bored with me and wanted to try other girls. I am feeling depressed and i feel like i am worthless or something. I tried too hard and put too much into this relationship, i couldn...
A. 8 November 2010: Maria-consuela has excellent advice. I agree that a great positive spin to put on this is that at least you weren't cheated on and dragged along. I'm not sure if this is your first break up or first love or what. He just wasn't ready to commit. I ... (read in full...)
How can I get the girl I like to accept me? Is there even a chance of this happening?
Q. two boys and two girls. Boy B1, Boy B2, Girl G1 and Girl G2. B1 like G1 and B2 like G2. At this point, all of them are just friends, not in a relationship yet. Both boys treated both the girl they like equally. But the outcome is different. In th...
A. 8 November 2010: To answer your new question, she has numerous reasons. It went too fast and also she doesn't want anything too serious if she is moving away soon. Although both pale in comparison to the fact that she just doesn't have feelings for you... Really it ... (read in full...)
We're good friends, share much in common, and have mind blowing sex, but why not the commitment?
Q. I've in the process of getting a divorce from a toxic marriage the past few months. Back late last summer, I met a guy when I was out with some girlfriends. Though the first night we made out, we quickly just became friends after he learned a little ...
A. 8 November 2010: Not that I agree with the relationship you 2 have or what he's doing with you and several other girls at the same time, but I do not feel you are being used at all. He has been upfront that he doesn't want anything serious and he has other ... (read in full...)
Should I cut off a 22 year friendship for my girlfriend?
Q. Hello everyone. I have an ex girlfriend from High School that I am still very good friends with. We live 5 blocks away from each other. Speak to each other 3 or 4 times a week. See each other twice a week. But this is only because we are in the same ...
A. 6 November 2010: Honestly that sounds extremely frequent to see a friend. I would get jealous too. This is a topic I really think depends on a person's point of view. Some believe a friendship with the opposite sex is perfectly fine and normal, others just aren't ... (read in full...)
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