A
female
age
51-59,
*on'tgetit
writes:My boyfriend has to watch porn and masturbate everyday before work, even if I'm home he'll do it in the bathroom, he says it has nothing to do with sex, Is this normal, I mean It makes me feel like I'm not enough for him! He don't see a problem
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (24 December 2010):
 Well, If he dont mind it then why should you? make him do it before bed too and during supper maybe he's just horny all the time?
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (23 December 2010):
 He's got a major problem. His actions speak louder than his words. He's looking for something outside. That's not good. I can see why you don't trust him.
Is the relationship doomed? At this rate, yes. It doesn't have to be if you can get through to him. It just seems to me like he's tuned out. Perhaps there is a bigger problem that's the root of his behavior. Would it be worth it to you to try some couple's councelling?
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A
female
reader, don'tgetit +, writes (23 December 2010):
don'tgetit is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe knows I can tell by the look on his face after he's done, so now he does it late at nite while I'm asleep, he says he can't sleep so I told him to wake me up for a quikie, even if just oral for him, he knows I enjoy it just as much but he still prefers to "do it himself" and although he says he loves me and and It still very much attracted to me, I tell him I want more but I'm lucky if I get it once a week! Is this relationship doomed? Should I Just accept it and be happy? I failed to mention I did catch him putting an add o. Craigslist when he traveled for his job, looking for a female companion to show him around, we did break up for this, he quit that job so he's home and since then I dpi d out he be,became a member of an adult website, but disenrolled when I confronted him, and that's when all this porn started, in a nutshell, that's why I don't get it
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2010): In your husband's case I'd say it is more about control than anything. It's almost as if he doesn't want to give it to you, so he keeps it to himself. I bet there are underlying passive aggressive issues with him and his control over his own sexuality and excluding you may be rooted in this. It is clearly not about sex, or about anything other than power. He has you whining for him and he says... no, I prefer to take care of it myself in the bathroom... Look at it for what it is.Also, porn has a way of making men disassociate sexually from their mates so consider this a factor as well.Bottom line... it has nothing whatsoever to do with sex... it has to do with control so I would consider looking at him overall to see why he is acting out with resentment.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): someone like me, i do mastubate evrytime, even evry5times a day and i amke love to my wife evryday, but my wife cant handle the sex evryday but she just cant park out bcos of my demands for sex.but my mind you i easily turn on when i see any beautiful angel, even easily have erection when see or when i remember any beautiful lady. but when your lady is weaker than you it can cause masturbation bcos you wont like to fight or make querrell just bcos of sex,sex deffers from men to another, but i can strongly believe that lady is weaker compare to that guy.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt +, writes (21 December 2010):
When he wakes up be ready to get on top then he'll quit the vapor sex in exchange for the real thing
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (21 December 2010):
Ok, then it's a problem. Would you have any problems with a wake up quickie?
I think you should tell him you want him to bring that energy your way. If he can jack off every day, but can't satisfy your needs as much as you like, then he's got a problem. Turning to porn instead of your partner is a sign of addiction.
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A
female
reader, don'tgetit +, writes (21 December 2010):
don'tgetit is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank-you everybody,.you have me a lot of insight, to answer the last one, yes I do want more sex and he knows this, but he's always too tired, we have it at least once a week or I'll satisfy him, all he has to do is ask, but he never does I have to initiate
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (21 December 2010):
 If it was everyday after work, then I'd understand more and put it down to releasing tension...
Sounds like a bad habit he's gotten himself into.
Why do you feel that this is something to do with you. Many people still masturbate, even if they are in love and having sex five times a day.
Are you satisfied with your sex life? Do you want more sex?
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A
male
reader, steph007  +, writes (21 December 2010):
If you are satisfied then, let's say, it is not too much problematic, but if you would need more sexual activity from him, than it is a bad sign for your common future. Anyhow, a quickie in the morning with the sleepy girl should be better than this.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (20 December 2010):
I'm with Stayc on this one! Normal is different for everyone. I would venture to say that's fairly common. I know I've gone through similar streaks. It's a good boost to the morning.
Do you want to have sex every morning? Does he still have sex when you want it?
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (20 December 2010):
 I'm usually one of the one's on this site to take the side of "Porn is not necessarily a bad thing". I feel it is possible for a man to watch and even masturbate to porn and still be in a strong relationship with a woman who satisfies him sexually. However, this doesn't mean porn is ALWAYS ok. Your relationship, I believe, is one of those examples. Needing to watch porn everyday before work is not "normal". It may be normal for your boyfriend, but not the average man.
But before you start blaming yourself, I don't believe it is something you are doing wrong. While I don't know the exact age of your boyfriend, I'm willing to guess by the age you listed as your own that he must be close to your age. Sometimes with men who are single for longer periods of time, especially when they get older, they develop a habit of needing to masturbate to porn. It's even an addiction. They can even get to a point of choosing masturbating by porn over sex with a partner. Again, it has nothing to do with you or whether or not you satisfy him sexual. This issue is with him. It sounds like this is a behavioral pattern that, unfortunately, he is stuck in his ways. In fact, it's more of a routine.
Once again, this isn't normal for the average man. I just think it's normal for your exact man. But that doesn't make it right.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010): Well if he is making you feel you are not enough then it is a problem. He needs to consider your feelings, not just his own.
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (20 December 2010):
 God normal is such an annoying term. Who decides what is normal? My boyfriend doesn't masturbate at all and can't have sex every day, or if he does have sex once a day every day then he needs a break after about 4 or 5 days. Then he says it is normal, that's how guys are, and I just don't understand guys. That if you go too much then you can't go anymore. Yet your boyfriend can get off everyday and have sex I'm assuming. So what the hell is normal? I have no idea. Do you have a problem with the porn or just the masturbating in general? Does it keep him from having sex with you? If everything is okay, no problems with porn and he is still just as into you, then maybe he just needs it more. But as for normal there is no answer on what that is.
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