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How can I get the girl I like to accept me? Is there even a chance of this happening?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 November 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 8 November 2010)
A male Australia age 36-40, *enfold writes:

two boys and two girls. Boy B1, Boy B2, Girl G1 and Girl G2. B1 like G1 and B2 like G2. At this point, all of them are just friends, not in a relationship yet.

Both boys treated both the girl they like equally. But the outcome is different. In the beginning both girls feels that the 'good' ways the boys treated them (respectively) are suffering. However, as time goes on, girl G2 take the 'good treating' from his boy as a blessing. So B2 and G2 eventually get to be a closer friend. They can text and instant messaging each other at will.

Unfortunately, this does not apply to B1 and G1. G1 tried to take the suffering as blessing but failed. She started to feel that B1 is annoying. B1 is happy when he sees G1 but never the other way round. G1 tried to avoid B1 too. G1 doesn't like B1 to treat her specially good, treat her differently from her friend.

Another possibility is that G1 is a more masculine type(but not to the level of a tomboy) of girl where as G2 is much much more feminine(probably thats why she can turn the 'suffering' into 'blessing').

Is there a possibility that G1 will accept B1 in future? If so, how?

How should a guy treat a very masculine girl? Or should I ask, how a masculine type of girl like boys treat them so they can be like/loved?

B1 decided not to text or instant messaging her anymore so that he don't annoy G1 further. From this point till the next time they meet, it will be 3 months.

Is there anyway/anything that B1 can improve in himself to make himself more appreciated by G1? Such as bodybuilding? or getting slimmer? or improving communication skills? Learn to be more humourous?

Thank you in advance.

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A female reader, Stayc63088 United States +, writes (8 November 2010):

Stayc63088 agony auntTo answer your new question, she has numerous reasons. It went too fast and also she doesn't want anything too serious if she is moving away soon. Although both pale in comparison to the fact that she just doesn't have feelings for you... Really it doesn't matter the exact reason even if both were a damn lie. She doesn't want a relationship with you so you have to just move on now. Unfortunately sometimes we would wait 7 years for someone and they just don't feel the same way in return. Good luck.

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A male reader, tenfold Australia +, writes (8 November 2010):

tenfold is verified as being by the original poster of the question

to Jmtmj: Alrite u made a good guess... by her definition of Masculine, its like she can handles alot of things by herself. No need to keep worrying about her for any little problem.. Why so dead set? Even at the stage of looking for the right girl, once i see one, i'm not the type to change so easily. I believe there is a little chance in everything.. including this.. So far she is the one i see the most 'compatible'.

to Griffo: Thanks dude. Thanks for your advise.. She did reply my text. Very unfortunately things went too fast. Many knew i like her.. One reason she gave was, she doesn't have any feel for me. Another reason she gave was, in half a year time, she will be going to offshore campus to study and saying that she is not those type that can keep a distance relationship. She doesn't even keep in touch much with her childhood best friend since she left her hometown to study even those text messages or emails i just clicks away. She said she doesn't wanna hurt me, because probably if we start now, things might get hard for us especially when she go overseas. If i'm to wait for her i will have to wait 7 years. She doesn't wanna 'waste' my time waiting for her. But if 7 years, then i wouldn't mind waiting for her....

But now which reason should i believe, the first or the later one?...

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (8 November 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntIt's Monday and on Mondays I aways leave out words. Insert "like" as in sounds too much LIKE algebra.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (8 November 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntThis question sounds too much algebra. I hate algebra.

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A female reader, Nina198 Australia +, writes (8 November 2010):

sometimes people arn't compatible...just cause your a guy and she's a girl doesn't mean sparks will fly! I'm often described by many women as feminine, but my boyfriend always say's "your such a dude!" (with a smile) because I'm into NRL, have a career in a male dominated profession, yet speak women liberation quite frequently, some people might also lable me a lesibian (sterotyping with the above personality traits) so I guess I have a masculine persona and a feminine look (and still love wearing dresses or shorts and sneakers)...regardless of what it is...people are people, not specific to any catorgory, the sooner you take on the attitude of "who do I get along with", the sooner you might come across someone suited, just a thought...:)

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A male reader, Griffo Australia +, writes (8 November 2010):

Griffo agony auntYou need to understand her likes. And when you text her does she reply? if not, then you could be persistent but let her know that if you annoy her you will let her go. This shows that you respect her feelings and that your not the type who stalks. She will likley begin to enjoy the chase. She will want to see how much value you put on the object if desire (her).

Don't take her non replies as a negative thing it could simply be she's not ready or that she's always a very busy person. She may do that to all of her friends and not just you. Always take verbal signs of communication as the sign to not continue. Ie: she says "Don't call or text me" then you know not to text her. She's nt sure of what she wants yet otherwise she would tell you, so be patient with her. Women tend to get very confuse with who they want to be with, then it confuses us men as to wether they want to be with us or not. But then us men do the same thing to them as well. So be patient with her communicate enough to show interest and just be there.

Give her a little romance. No matter how masculine a woman is they will always appreciate a bit of romance. Not chocolates and roses! Think about it be creative! ... Originality in romance is always a winner. Unless your a bit of a pussy and can't put your own heart on the line. Regardless of what pop society says romance is always a nice thing.

Ask your friend about her he will talk to his girl B2 and G2 they will let you know what to do. But at the same time tell them that you like her and tell them not to tell her how you feel because you don't want to lose her as a friend. Friendship is how relationships start and last ... Your not a porn star so forget again what pop society says that your either a friend or a lover ... You have to be both!!

Good luck mate!

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (8 November 2010):

Jmtmj agony auntI'm guessing you are B1...? Well B1, you already know of things that you can do to improve yourself- but if G1 doesn't like B1, then that could all be for naught anyways.

What exactly makes G1 "masculine"? Also- why is B1 so dead set on wooing G1 instead of moving on to someone more compatible?

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