| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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What can I say to make things better with my fiancée, and why have I upset her so much?
Q. My fiancee is not speaking to me apart from to say she thinks we should break up. It all started the other day when we were going to a Sci Fi convention. She was ok to go with me but I could tell she was a bit bored. When we got home, I asked her if ...
A. 6 December 2013: You really can't see why you've hurt her? You said you were looking forward to a convention more than spending your life with her. Dude you need to get your priorities in order!!! A gaming convention should not be more exciting to you than a ... (read in full...)
I'm worried if I have a serious health problem that my fiance will be getting cheated
Q. I have a problem that I am feeling very unsure about. I am getting married soon and my life with my partner is fantastic. I love her to bits. She is beautiful inside and out, caring, loving, and I have never been happier. We have a big wedding pl...
A. 5 December 2013: Why don't you talk to her about it? I cannot imagine anyone being in love, finding out their partner has recently been diagnosed with something serious and running for the hills. If they do, they probably aren't truly in love with you. This is ... (read in full...)
I'm nasty when I'm drunk and my boyfriend hates it
Q. Hey! I've got a really, really serious problem and I wish someone could help me because I really don't know what to do. I'm 19 years old and the guy I'm dating is 27 (quite a big difference with ages but that doesn't bother us). We have been dat...
A. 2 December 2013: If you can't stop drinking then you need to seek help for your alcohol problem/addiction. If you are an alcoholic, you need to stop drinking cold turkey.... (read in full...)
Do recurring dreams about a crush mean anything?
Q. I had a dream about my crush. I saw him at the bus loading area at our school. We made eye contact then him and his friend approached me and my friend and he told us hi and gave me a hug but with one arm so not a full hug, I guess a side hug? and...
A. 2 December 2013: You dream about things you think about before falling asleep, usually the things in that stage where you can't remember anything. You are dreaming about him because he's on your mind.... (read in full...)
How do Atheist men date when most women are Christians or believers?
Q. Many women are believers or Christians etc. I'm not saying you can't date at all, that's absurd, all I'm trying to convey is that your dating pool is rather limited. Like at my college, most women seem to be believers. I know this because in ...
A. 1 December 2013: They are? That wasn't true where I went to school or among my current group of friends. My bf is atheist, I am atheist, and it has never been a challenge in dating for either of us.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend tells his best female friend that she is pretty and they talk about graphic sex
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for around six months now and we are very happy. He has a female best friend that he is very close to and says how much he loves her. He openly admits they talk about sex quite grafically and tell eachother when they ...
A. 26 November 2013: Yes you should be worried. It is not appropriate to be talking about things like that with someone he is attracted to. I have had conversations like that with my straight female friends, but I would never dream of talking like that to male friends, ... (read in full...)
Am I not good enough? Boyfriend didn't get turned having a shower with me.
Q. My boyfriend and I just showered together and through out that whole time he didn't get hard. He didn't even touch me (which is unusual). And then like 2 hours later I was fully dressed and he cracked a boner and when I asked what over he replied ...
A. 23 November 2013: He may have been shy/uncomfortable in the situation. A younger guy like that may have been trying very very hard to show that he WASN'T excited, because it's something he has been taught to be embarrassed by. I don't think you need to do anything.... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is still using porn, and it's affecting our sex life. How should I behave?
Q. Hello 2 Everyone! Two days ago I discovered my fiancee still uses porn. It was so disgusting and frustrating for me, still he lies. The problem is that is impossible for him to ejaculate when we have sex, even though is always horny. He says h...
A. 23 November 2013: You have to realize porn is essentially a drug. You have recreational users and you have addicts. If he is an addict it is not possible for him to just, stop, easy as that. He needs to actually work at it, and get some help. For some people, just ... (read in full...)
My husband won't have sex with me!!
Q. My husband won't have sex with me. Been together 8 years, married for almost 1, he's 9 years older than me (I'm in my 20s, he's in his 30s). Our lives and relationship is pretty good EXCEPT this damn problem. About a year before the marriage our...
A. 21 November 2013: Daily masturbation but no sex, to me my first instinct is porn addiction. You can find more info here:
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com... (read in full...)
Were you ugly as a teen then become a good looking adult?
Q. In high school were you ugly and then get good looking when you became an adult? I was a cute kid/preteen until I hit the age of 15. At 15 I got a weird facial structure, acne, dry frizzy hair, and am SO socially awkward. I'm 19 and still have all ...
A. 20 November 2013: weird facial structure - can't be changed, but you can certainly "grow into it"
acne - can be fixed, visit your derm for a tretinoin cream to use at night and an AHA cream to use in the morning
dry frizzy hair - Use a good deep conditioner and star... (read in full...)
Pregnancy test negative so why 2 missed periods and terrible cramps?
Q. This isn't exactly a relationship question but maybe someone could help? I've been having cramps off and on for a month now- sometimes just a mild cramp and sometimes to the point where I'm doubled over in pain and have missed 2 periods- after the ...
A. 19 November 2013: Time to see your doctor, there are several things that can cause those symptoms and only a doctor can tell you what and help.... (read in full...)
Why is wife hiding her past from me, and has lied about it
Q. why is my wife hiding her past from me? she tells me its my problem, and not hers. she has lied to me over the years about it. we have been married for several years now 31 , while dating she said she was in love with her first, but a ye...
A. 18 November 2013: She is right. This IS your problem, not hers. You have something called retrograde jealousy, which is very similar to/a form of OCD. It is serious and has the potential to wreck your marriage. The reason she is not opening up to you is not because ... (read in full...)
Sister-in-law propositioned me, and I'm tempted ...
Q. Hi I have a dilemma, I don't get on with my sister in law, she is an obnoxious self centred person, a habitual liar, thief and cannot be trusted even slightly. I have tried in the past to give her the benefit of the doubt but have always had my ...
A. 18 November 2013: In the moment it seems like a great idea, but that is because all of your blood has left your brain and gone to your penis. I guarantee you she is going to tell your wife. That is what people like her do. If you don't act on your impulses, they will ... (read in full...)
Fiance has a hard time reaching orgasm. How can I help him?
Q. Hello everyone, My fiance and I have a great relationship, but there is something troubling me in the sex department. We have sex fairly often and it is very good, passionate, etc. The strange thing is that he has a hard time reaching orgasm a...
A. 17 November 2013: My guess is he has not cut back on his porn use nearly as much as he has said. This website has a lot more information than I can type here:
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com... (read in full...)
Will we be able to maintain our relationship if I move away?
Q. Hi Recently I got in touch with a man that I met at university years ago. We’ve not been in touch for 8 years. At university, we dated for a short term. I have always had feelings for him. Anyway we are now together. When I got in touch with hi...
A. 17 November 2013: Couples can work with the distance, but eventually one of you is going to have to move. You can't maintain a relationship indefinitely. Would he move to London?... (read in full...)
His ex wife is so much more attractive than me!
Q. His ex wife is so much more attractive than me! I'm seeing a man whose been divorced about 4 years. His ex is remarried and they have a very amicable relationship (they share children). His ex wife is very pretty and it makes me feel very...
A. 5 November 2013: You're jealous of a boob job? They look nice, but they don't feel very nice! Some guys care about boob size, but most just like them so long as they are boobs and attached to a woman. You don't need big boobs to be really hot!
Also she is his EX w... (read in full...)
How or what should I do to make gym time fun for the both of us?
Q. When my boyfriend and I met I was heavy set I have since loss about 10lbs he is constantly trying to get me to workout with him I am not comfortable working out with him. He gets really mean in the gym and it makes me feel unpretty. How or what ...
A. 5 November 2013: I agree with CMMP that you should just work out separately. What works for him might not work for you and visa versa.... (read in full...)
Controlling gag reflex during oral sex with a bigger man
Q. I love giving oral sex, taste or smell are not a deterrent. My current boyfriend has a larger penis, and I would like to know how to stop from gagging. I know I can use my hand to control penetration, but I would like to know how to handle, ...
A. 5 November 2013: If you are trying to go deep enough you are gagging, you are going too deep! Most nerve endings are in the head. Use your mouth on the head and a lubed hand on the shaft. You don't need to be gagging to give a good BJ.... (read in full...)
Do guys think it's wierd for a girl to make the first move?
Q. I really like this guy and he knows. Hes super shy so he hasnt really made any moves (I think he likes me but im not sure because ive never had a guy like me before). I really want to kiss him next time I see him so I was wondering if it was weird ...
A. 4 November 2013: Yes you should make the first move! It's just as scary for him. If he's shy he never will, do it.
However I would start a bit slower, like ask him for coffee or something rather than grabbing him and kissing him.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend isn't able to cum by vaginal sex. Why?
Q. My bf is very sexually aggressive and likes to dominate and humiliate me sexually and that's okay with me. The thing that bothers me though is that he only ejaculates if I stimulate him orally for over 30 minutes or if we do anal. Why that? He is ...
A. 4 November 2013: Nothing wrong with you. It sounds like he masturbates A LOT. Quite likely with porn (why he can only finish with extreme acts). There is more info on this site:
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com... (read in full...)
My boyfriend isn't able to cum by vaginal sex. Why?
Q. My bf is very sexually aggressive and likes to dominate and humiliate me sexually and that's okay with me. The thing that bothers me though is that he only ejaculates if I stimulate him orally for over 30 minutes or if we do anal. Why that? He is ...
A. 4 November 2013: Nothing wrong with you. It sounds like he masturbates A LOT. Quite likely with porn (why he can only finish with extreme acts). There is more info on this site:
http://ww.yourbrainonporn.com... (read in full...)
How can I explain my birth defect to girls?
Q. Hey everyone So heres my situation...I was born with a birth defect of my hands where a few of my fingers are shorter and honestly I'm comfortable enough with myself where I can admit it's weird and not a turn on for girls...it's gotten me denied b...
A. 4 November 2013: Just say you don't have a job right now because you're focusing on your education.... (read in full...)
My boss/manager is so hot! What do I do?
Q. Okay so I started a new job and the guy who interviewed me was so hot. It just so happens that he is the manager, head hancho in charge if the top top people aren't there, and MY department manager In the department store. I always see him a...
A. 3 November 2013: I don't see the issue here so long as you two don't have any dating drama at work. My boss is drop dead gorgeous and has a flirtatious personality (not just me, with everyone) and that definitely makes my day better. :)... (read in full...)
How can I explain my birth defect to girls?
Q. Hey everyone So heres my situation...I was born with a birth defect of my hands where a few of my fingers are shorter and honestly I'm comfortable enough with myself where I can admit it's weird and not a turn on for girls...it's gotten me denied b...
A. 3 November 2013: I would just wait until you get asked about it or notice staring before bringing it up and when you do bring it up, just say "born with it" rather than "defect" and leave out the disability until part until later.
At the beginning just act norm... (read in full...)
Any ideas on how to create the perfect fantasy for my boyfriend while we are away?
Q. I could use your ideas everyone. Me and my guy are going out of town soon. We are going to be spending a weekend away. I want to plan something brilliant for him while we are away... something to do to really blow him away while we are in th...
A. 2 November 2013: Why don't you ask him what his fantasy is? Everyone is different. Also don't forget about you, if you are there a week he should be doing this for you too! Make sure he knows yours.... (read in full...)
Could it be smegma or semen? Or is it evidence of cheating?
Q. this is a serious question if a man has a white powdery ring around his foreskin head does that mean he cheated and had sex? is that smegma? He is uncircumsized ....when he pulled back the skin I saw white clumpy stuff under the skin looks like ...
A. 1 November 2013: Could be bad hygiene, could have been masturbation, could have been powder like Cerberus said. I wouldn't jump to cheating.... (read in full...)
My friend expects me to do sexual things that I am not ready to do!
Q. Okay so my guy friend talks about having oral sex with me and he wants me to squirt on him and I am nervous because I don't want to have sex with him if we are not married. We went out only one time and with my ex- boyfriends they never put that ...
A. 1 November 2013: WHOA. One date and this guy is already dirty talking to you? This guy has some serious social skills issues. That's just plain creepy and sends up all kinds of red flags. He should not be pressuring you to have sex period, and after one date, this ... (read in full...)
Is there a link between impulsiveness and cheating?
Q. Just a quick, general question. Do you guys think there is a link between impulsive behavior and cheating? My bf has never struck me as a cheater and I've been with him for quite some time now. He has never seemed in the least bit shady. however, he ...
A. 1 November 2013: In a cheater it would probably add to the problem, but if he's not a cheater being impulsive isn't going to make him cheat.... (read in full...)
He's a great guy, except for his sex drive
Q. I am frustrated beyond belief and the worst part is, I will NEVER EVER cheat. My boyfriend (who is, admittedly, a very good guy) and I have been together almost 3.5 years. No engagement ring yet and he always claims it's money which I get because ...
A. 31 October 2013: Leaving out SSRI or blood pressure meds, the most common cause of this kind of sex issue in healthy young men is porn addiction. Does he use it?
I also strongly agree with this whole "stop giving" thing. It's not working and it's making you rese... (read in full...)
Do you think I should have to tell him everything about my life when now hes a friend with benefits ?
Q. Does a guy I see once a week have any right asking questions about where I go and what I do? ive been seeing someone for a year and it turned very serious very quickly. He moved in within four months but it turned sour pretty quick.I chucked him ...
A. 28 October 2013: This guy is just BAD NEWS. What benefits are there? He is a control freak and verbally abuses you. This relationship needs to end. Friends with benefits is supposed to be fun for both of you, not just him. Calling you a whore, threatening your ... (read in full...)
How much do guys care about acne?
Q. Hi.. Well here's my question.. I have acne it's not terrible but it is definitely noticeable and I cover up the redness but the bumps are still there... So I am 14 and all guys care about are looks! But how much do guys care about acne ? ...
A. 22 October 2013: A couple things. One, chigirl is totally right, most guys at your age just want to touch boobs so they can brag about it. So I wouldn't be worrying too much about it yet.
Secondly, acne is treatable in the VAST majority of people, you just nee... (read in full...)
Would it be awkward, creepy, or inappropriate to message my nurse out of the blue?
Q. Recently I have been to a clinic to be seen by a doctor. The nurse that waited on me prior to the doctor was very cute and friendly. I really wanted to try and make some kind of connection with her but it did not seem appropriate at the time while ...
A. 22 October 2013: I agree with CMMP. People develop crushes on caregivers INCREDIBLY often. It doesn't make the feelings less real exactly, but it does mean she probably deals with it a lot and it's pretty unlikely those feelings are reciprocated. At this point I'd ... (read in full...)
What kind of costumes or looks would you recommend? Because the manager's demands seem unreasonable.
Q. I'm a restaurant server and our manager just sent out a ridiculous memo. We have to wear costumes for the week of Halloween or we do not get our tips. I feel this is unethical and illegal. I also learned that if we order through the catalog ...
A. 21 October 2013: Just go buy some cat eats and a tail, use eyeliner to draw on whiskers, done. I personally don't think this is really THAT unreasonable, just pick something fun and enjoy the change in dress code for a bit.... (read in full...)
Do they girls also like the guys chest
Q. Hey everyone, Do they girls also like the guys chest, as much as the case in vice versa? I am asking this because there was a girl at my university who used to stare at my flat chest fugitively, which made me wonder the point....
A. 10 October 2013: It's sexy to touch, sexual dimorphism and all. But no it does not even come close to how men feel about women's boobs.... (read in full...)
He makes jokes about religion, but I'm religious
Q. The man I want to be with, always makes jokes about "aliens" being out there, and maybe they are the ones who created us. I am a God fearing woman, and when someone makes jokes about whom I worship, I take it to heart and it upsets me. He does not ...
A. 9 October 2013: This sounds like a pretty big dealbreaker to me. What happens if you get serious and have kids? If you are highly religious and he is an atheist, I don't see this relationship ever getting serious.... (read in full...)
My friend forced me to makeout, how do I get over this guilt? I can't tell my boyfriend!
Q. Please help Recently I made a dumb impulsive decision to let a friend of mine drop me off in his car. His shocking colors came to picture when he insisted to kiss me and makeout. I refused for making out but he started insisting and wouldnt drop...
A. 9 October 2013: Guilt? He basically assaulted you. He blackmailed you into letting him exercise his will on you. There is nothing to feel guilty about, he threatened that if you didn't let him kiss you, he'd put you in a dangerous situation. He's a predator and you ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and I no longer have sex because he's taking of things himself!
Q. Okay I've never had a problem like this. My boyfriend and I have been dating almost 10 months. We used to have sex all the time and it used to be great! But now we hardley ever have sex. And when we do its kind of boring. He jacks off more then we ...
A. 9 October 2013: I agree with Caring Guy, porn addictions are becoming more common among younger men. Check out this site for more info:
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com... (read in full...)
Is it wrong that I only want to be with an uncircumcised man?
Q. I know that this is a pretty touchy subject for some people, so I'm hoping that my question doesn't upset anyone. I'm 23 and I have had sex with one person--my ex-boyfriend, who I dated for a year and broke up with a few months ago. Our sex lif...
A. 9 October 2013: The only man who has made me orgasm from penetration was circumcized. There is zero difference in how it feels to a woman, zero, absolutely none. I promise. Your vagina is not sensitive at all. Past the first three inches you can only feel ... (read in full...)
Tiny boobs and a wierd vagina
Q. Hi please help! One of my labia minora is stretched, saggy and gross! Is there anything I can do and if not is it weird Also my breasts have been stuck at a 32a for a year now what does this mean? (My mother is a c aunty is a d as is cousin does t...
A. 5 October 2013: First off, you are far too young to be worried what your labia will look like to a guy!
Secondly, more women have uneven labia than even ones! It's totally normal. Many are longer than the outer ones, in pink, brown, purple, or any shade in betwe... (read in full...)
New to sex and finding it uncomfortable. Any advice?
Q. Sup everyone. So I lost my virginity a few days ago with this girl I'm in a LTR with. We ended up having sex twice that night, and once more yesterday. The thing is I'm having issues/weird feelings while having sex. This might get graphic but this ...
A. 30 September 2013: If you're certain she's REALLY turned on, like about to orgasm or already orgasmed, try lube. And I agree with Sageoldguy, don't get the cheap stuff, it is sticky. However, 99% of the time this issue is that she's not turned on enough. Make sure ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says I don't have enough experience
Q. My boyfriend told me last night that he is concerned that I don't have enough sexual experience for him to get more serious about our relationship. He is concerned that since I have only been in one other serious relationship that I cant be ready ...
A. 25 September 2013: He's not interested in you and is trying to let you down gently. When I read "he wants me to date other men to be sure he's right" what I actually hear is that he wants you to date other guys so hopefully you will fall for one of them instead and he ... (read in full...)
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