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Aunt here since 2009.

Latest articles:

About Facebook and relationships

This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...

Is Pornography cheating?

This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...

< Prev56789101112131415Next > [118 pages, 4696 answers]

Can a guy have an orgasm while dry humping?

Q.   My bf and I sometimes have dry-humping (we've not had no sex yet, but he had with other girls before me). I often have an orgasm, but don't know if he has too. Can a guy reach an orgasm with dry humping? And if so, does he always wet his boxers?...

A.   28 April 2013: Yes he can. If he ejaculates it will make his boxers wet, but if there's just a little he could also just have pre-cum. Why not just ask?... (read in full...)

When did the term "nice guy" start to have a negative meaning?

Q.   Quite often, that term is usually not viewed as a compliment (at least amongst many guys). Has this always had a dual meaning?...

A.   25 April 2013: Among everyone I know nice guy is still a positive. The only dual meaning I've heard is that there are guys who are nice (always good) and self-defined "nice guys" who are usually not actually nice at all. 99% of the time the guys complaining that ... (read in full...)

Is it time to leave? She issued me with an ultimatum: The bachelor party or her

Q.   My girlfriend(who I live with) and I have been at odds everyday for the last week. My friend has a wedding coming this weekend, and their bachelor party on Friday night. So she has made an effort to fight with me everyday. But to cut to the chase...

A.   25 April 2013: Let me expand on what I said a bit, you're both being immature and stubborn. She is panicking and throwing out whatever she can to get you not to go (I doubt she would follow through, but she would be pissed) and you are being stubborn in your ... (read in full...)

Is it time to leave? She issued me with an ultimatum: The bachelor party or her

Q.   My girlfriend(who I live with) and I have been at odds everyday for the last week. My friend has a wedding coming this weekend, and their bachelor party on Friday night. So she has made an effort to fight with me everyday. But to cut to the chase...

A.   25 April 2013: What if you just go for the drinking/hanging out part and leave for the stripper part?... (read in full...)

I'm a virgin. I do find women attractive especially their breasts. But I look at men too. Am I gay or not?

Q.   Hi, I am guy in my early 30’s and I am unsure if I am gay or not. I am a virgin and I have kissed a girl but nothing more. I do find other guys attractive. I find their muscles and athletic appearance attractive. When I am jerking off I think ...

A.   25 April 2013: Most of the gay guys I know love women's breasts, but don't find them sexually attractive. One of psychologist friends told me that usually the easiest way to tell your sexuality is what you think about when you masturbate (not porn, the things you ... (read in full...)

Which cheater is worse? I want your opinion of the women in these scenarios.

Q.   i was just having a discussion with someone and i was wondering what you guys think of these 2 situations. my question is regarding the females of these situations. Scenario A: a couple (Tom and Lisa) has been together for 1.5 month. the girl,...

A.   24 April 2013: Why does it matter? Yes one person is more honest than the other, but they both behaved badly enough to end the relationship so in the end, it doesn't matter and both hurt their partners.... (read in full...)

My girlfriend was annoyed by my FB post. Did she over-react? Was her reaction immature? I thought the post was light fun.

Q.   Three days ago, I wrote on my Facebook Wall that "If you can't change the girl, change the girl!" . My girlfriend (for two years) didn't like it and called me jerk when she met me later. She is talking to me but can see some change in her at...

A.   22 April 2013: I'd feel really humiliated if my boyfriend wrote something like that on Facebook, it sounds like you're saying she's done something wrong. If I read that on someone else's facebook I wouldn't think it was a joke, I would think you were having a ... (read in full...)

How do other women handle the situation when their guy will not stop ogling other women?

Q.   Posting a question about ogling here. I had this ogling issue and my now ex would tell me it was nothing, that my expectations were "too high", that I would never meet a man who didn't ogle and that I "shouldn't expect him to walk around with his...

A.   22 April 2013: There's occasionally checking someone out and then there's just being disgusting. Your ex falls into the latter. That would make anyone feel terrible and insecure, I don't blame you. That's incredibly disrespectful and frankly, makes him sound like ... (read in full...)

Why would he want her to come to our wedding when I don't feel comfortable

Q.   my boyfriend has a female friend but i have only heard them talk very briefly a handful of times in 7 yrs but we are arguing about him wanting her to come to our wedding. i dont feel comfortable about there friendship, due to what seems to be ...

A.   18 April 2013: I agree with TasteofIndia. If he was interested in her, why would he invite her to the ceremony where he declares his love for you right in front of her? I'm a bit confused on why this woman is making you so upset. Is there a specific reason? I mean ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend constantly accuses me of cheating and I don't know why!

Q.   Dear Cupid, I am twenty years old and have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. Shortly after we got together, I became pregnant. Through out out relationship we have had problems as all couples do, but it has been worse here lately. He ...

A.   18 April 2013: Often someone who is constantly accusing their partner of cheating for no reason is themselves cheating. I'd be wary of someone like that.... (read in full...)

No one told me that my sister's boyfriend is moving in with us. I'm not happy about this!

Q.   So my mom bought a house in Washington state right near the beach and so she was telling me how there is a house for rent right next door, I decided to rent it out. I was going to pay the full rent which is $700 by myself, my sister who is 20 ...

A.   17 April 2013: You need to talk to your sister before signing anything. Tell her either it's just her, or she can't move in. Either she agrees to do that or you don't let her on the lease, simple as that. Legally if her boyfriend isn't on the lease, he can't be ... (read in full...)

Orgasm question

Q.   Do you think there is such a thing as an orgasm that *requires* BOTH gspot and clitoris stimulation?? I ask because I've heard of females having either a clitoris orgasm or a vaginal orgasm. I've tried having just a vaginal orgasm or just a...

A.   13 April 2013: Sure why not? There's no correct way to have an orgasm. Some women need nipple stimulation or to hold their leg in a certain way or have a breathing pattern to orgasm. Just so long as you know what works for you, it isn't really important if it's ... (read in full...)

I'm pregnant, we're engaged and yet I feel like we are hitting rock bottom

Q.   I'm twenty, and my fiance is 24 now. We've been living together and been together for two years plus. The first six months we've been living together, things were amazing. He wasn't afraid of PDA, kissing, hugging, he wanted to cuddle a lot, we had ...

A.   4 April 2013: I'm not really sure what advice you are looking for. You two are incompatible but have continued to try to fight for the relationship, even though it's clear he's not invested the same way you are and in fact behaves downright hostile towards you. ... (read in full...)

I have always been conscious of how my vagina looks, and now my boyfriend has insulted the way it looks! How do I overcome this?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together nearly a year now, we've had sex, taken part in oral sex on both parts. But the other day we had just had penetrative sex, so I was just led on the bed naked my legs slightly apart on my front, dozing slightly. ...

A.   3 April 2013: The problem here is not so much what he said, but that you are very insecure about yourself. There are probably more women who are extremely self-conscious about their genitalia than aren't, it's normal but something that would be helpful to get ... (read in full...)

Let this April Fools joke slide? Or break up with him?

Q.   Boyfriend pretended to break up with me as an April Fool's joke? Well, apparently, he said it was an April Fool's joke. Should i leave him?. I think that's a cruel joke....

A.   1 April 2013: I've heard of couples telling other people they had broken up, but pretending to break up and then going "Haha just kidding" does seem a bit over the top. Honestly I don't think anyone who plays that kind of joke is boyfriend material and I also ... (read in full...)

So I met a girl online, was I pretty stupid putting the "friend" thing on a dating site?

Q.   I am a single dad with two boys, I decided to have a try at one of the main dating sites, and a girl started messaging me, said she liked what I said on the profile. However, one of the things I wrote on there was that if I couldnt find a lover I ...

A.   1 April 2013: Whoa there. You are WAY overthinking this. You were on a dating site and then you went on a date, so I'd say it's pretty safe to assume she knows you want to date. The friend zone doesn't exist. Either she is or she isn't interested. There is... (read in full...)

He's so rough that I find myself sore afterward

Q.   Whichever way I say it, it will sound awkward so here goes.. I have only had a sexual relationship with one guy, as many I didn't really know what to expect blah blah blah so I pretty much let him do anything. He was quite rough especially when ...

A.   29 March 2013: You need to speak up! When a guy does something you don't like, say something! If she guy is shoving his fingers up there, that would hurt almost anyone. Women need to be turned on in order to have anything put in their vaginas comfortably, that's ... (read in full...)

How do I ask my coworker out on a date?

Q.   Hi guys. I'm really struggling to figure out this guy at the moment. I like him, he's attractive, intelligent, funny and enthusiastic- the ideal package really. He's a about 10 years older but I don't see that as a problem because I've always fanc...

A.   29 March 2013: We can't really know from here if he does or doesn't like you. The only way to know for sure is to just ask him out. Just go up and say "do you want to get coffee/lunch sometime?"... (read in full...)

For females, are squirting and orgasms two separate things or when a female squirts is that the orgasm?

Q.   For females, are squirting and orgasms two separate things or when a female squirts is that the orgasm?? I have squirted three times but don't ever remember feeling that big "O" moment where my body shook uncontrollably.. I don't know if I've tru...

A.   27 March 2013: They are separate things. They usually/often happen at the same time but are two different things. You can definitely squirt without an orgasm.... (read in full...)

He had a private lap dance at his stag and now I'm having serious doubts about marrying him!

Q.   I am getting married next week and I am having serious doubts. We have been to together 8 years (since we were 18) engaged for 5 and we have 2 children. We had a pretty much perfect relationship until his stag. About a week after he returned...

A.   26 March 2013: I think you should postpone the wedding while you sort out your feelings on the issue. It definitely raises some serious questions about his ability to commit and stay faithful if he agreed to no strippers, then got a lap dance and lied about it for ... (read in full...)

Is it right to trust your gut instinct about dating someone?

Q.   Ok so some people are gonna think I'm mad for this post.. But is it right to trust your gut instinct? Basically about 3 months ago this man I was seeing just stopped speaking to me, no reason, no nothing, just didn't turn up one might when we were ...

A.   26 March 2013: Fate or no fate, he isn't interested in a relationship with you and that's all there is to it. It's not doing you any favors at all to dwell on it or him. You should remove him from facebook and make an effort to not follow his statuses or life ... (read in full...)

Does the depth of a woman reveal if she was sleeping with another person?

Q.   I have been having sex with my lady friend for over 15 years and I used to be able to hit the back wall of her vagina because she used to say it hurt when I went to deep we had broken up for a little while she said that she did not sleep with nobody ...

A.   26 March 2013: No a woman's internal organs are not rearranged from having sex. Many things can cause temporary changes, like hormones.... (read in full...)

Will my husband be able to tell that I'm not a virgin?

Q.   I had sex once before 5 years....i never had sex after that...will my husband know if am a virgin?.......

A.   25 March 2013: No he won't be able to tell. ... (read in full...)

What is it going to be like when I have sex? Do men get more pleasure out of it than women?

Q.   i feel really strange asking this and a bit odd, but i dont know were else i can get the answers im looking for. so im 18 and ive never had sex. i do masterbate ( sorry if this is uncomfortable for you, you dont have to read all the way through)...

A.   22 March 2013: Very few women orgasm from intercourse. As you've figured out, women get pleasure from the clitoris, not the vagina. That's 100% normal. Just like men get pleasure from their penis, not their scrotum. For most women the intercourse feels nice, but ... (read in full...)

If you were in my shoes, would you stay?

Q.   i've been seeing a girl for about four months now. i'm very happy with her and we have a very healthy relationship together. she tells me she definitely sees a future with me and i thought i did, too. my problem is that she told me today that sh...

A.   22 March 2013: I think that 1) this is too far off for such a new relationship and 2) that if you are thinking of spending your lives together 4 months is way too short to end a relationship over. It basically sounds like a normal college schedule. Most college ... (read in full...)

I am very hurt and angry that my husband is looking at porn. Why does everyone think porn is ok?

Q.   I have been married for 4 months and moved across the country leaving my family and everything behind to be with my husband. I have no one out here but him and his family. I miss my family so much and cry quite a bit. My mother was molested b...

A.   21 March 2013: I have many links about this on my profile that I really think will help you with this. Just click my username and look through the list in the blue box on that page.... (read in full...)

Why won't my partner give me blowjobs?

Q.   I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 8 years and she has never giving me a proper blowjob, and by proper I mean that she has never gotten me off while doing it. She rarely goes down on me, and I mean rarely, I'm taking once every year or two. And ...

A.   21 March 2013: Maybe she just hates doing it? It sounds like you're just going to have to accept that you are not with someone who wants to do it. Maybe it tastes bad, maybe it makes her gag, maybe she just doesn't like being pressured into it, but it sounds like ... (read in full...)

I feel betrayed and hurt because he got a lap dance for his birthday!

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for one year now and the day before our one year anniversary he went out for his 21st birthday and went to a strip club with his friends. They also paid for him to have a private lap dance. He said nothing else happened ...

A.   21 March 2013: A lapdance is basically where the guy sits and the stripper wiggles around in his lap. He's usually required to keep his hands to himself, she's usually making physical contact (but not always), and is usually wearing minimal or no clothing. I th... (read in full...)

Is "no contact" really the best way to get over a breakup?

Q.   Hi Everyone, I broke up with my boyfriend a couple months ago. I went "no contact" for the first 2 weeks but it was too difficult for me...I missed him so much, to the point of physical pain. Is this typical? We've been talking since then,...

A.   20 March 2013: It's like ripping off a bandaid. You can either concentrate the pain and get it over with faster, or you can prolong it. The more contact you have, generally the longer it will take. I know one person who maintained contact with an ex and it took ... (read in full...)

I found out my husband is using porn and I don't like it

Q.   I have found out that my husband views internet porn a lot. I am so hurt by this. I work hard to stay attractive and am always ready to make love or be adventurous in bed w/him. He says It's no big deal, and It's the same as me using a vibrator. ...

A.   20 March 2013: I have many links about this on my profile (click my username to get there) that I think will help you out. I also highly recommend you both read through the book "The Porn Trap."... (read in full...)

I can't wait till sex is over!

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year. Our sex life is great.. Maybe a little too great. We have sex everyday. Sometines more than once. T first it was great but now sometimes I can't wait till it's over. We've even stopped doing it so often ...

A.   20 March 2013: Your sex life isn't great if you don't like sex. Generally speaking, "spicing things up" is almost never the answer to a sex life that is struggling. It's interesting that you don't mention your pleasure in your post. I'm wondering if you orga... (read in full...)

I'm confused...am I a virgin or not?

Q.   I was in a relationship 1year back but that guy ditched me very badly. We once tried to have sex. That time he didnt enter me compltely but I was having some pain when he started entring me therefore I ask him to stop and remove from inside me. ...

A.   19 March 2013: Yes you're still a virgin, he was just pressing against you. You didn't have sex. No, a future husband would not know that happened.... (read in full...)

How do I manage getting myself ready for a party after a long day trip! Help!

Q.   I need help badly! I have a crush on a 17 yr old and I was planning on going to a party he's going to be at this Saturday but my trip to France got cancelled and has been moved to the same day as the party. I have to go to the trip because its ...

A.   18 March 2013: Why don't you just wear something versatile for the trip (like jeans and a T-shirt), put on some mascara, and then put on lipgloss on the bus. Bathrooms on there are NASTY, don't try to put on makeup in a bus bathroom, that's very unsanitary. Just ... (read in full...)

Is it ok to for me to kiss her goodbye? Is that going too far?

Q.   So I am in love with my best friend. She knows this, but she can't let herself like me because she has a BF that goes to a different college. I've told her that before we get out for summer break (Which is a full 4 months) I will kiss her goodbye. ...

A.   18 March 2013: You know that you can go to jail kissing people against their will, right? She doesn't want a kiss, don't kiss her.... (read in full...)

Is it me or him? I am sick of begging for sex. How can he be 23 and have such a low sex drive?

Q.   I’m older than him. He is 23 and I am older. So if you are the kind of person who doesn’t understand the older woman, younger man relationship doesn't respond I’m looking for help and information. Not “advice” that’s not going to help me, at a...

A.   17 March 2013: My thoughts would either be medication or excessive porn use. Other than that he should probably get checked by a doctor to check his hormone levels. Low sex drive is one thing, NO sex drive is another. Whatever it is, I'm fairly certain that it'... (read in full...)

I'd like to tone down the sexual tension so that I can keep the friendship

Q.   my question is about the sexual tension between my best friend and myself. back when we first met, we crushed on each other , then as we attempted dating, it was rather fail, and we decided we'd just be friends, over time, we've grown closer. Our ...

A.   16 March 2013: You are not friends with this guy, you are basically dating without physical contact. He also sounds kind of rapey. Like what the heck does that mean, if you keep asking for it it's going to happen and you'd better not say he raped you? Wtf? Basi... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has bipolar disorder and his behavior is very disturbing and violent...and I might be pregnant with his child!

Q.   My boyfriend and I had an argument last night. I feel bad , because he had cooked us a meal. We didnt get to eat the meal together. He has bipolar disorder, and i cant handle it when he is too hyper. He was very hyper yesterday, and had had a bit of ...

A.   16 March 2013: I think you should get away from him and break up with him while you are in a safe place. This man is DANGEROUS. What happens if next time he pushes you you DO fall down the stairs? He is a ticking time bomb and one of these days he might snap and ... (read in full...)

Negative responses about breast implants have me questioning what I should do about my body!

Q.   I've asked this question before and had some good responses, but I just read another reply to another post and this involved the respondent saying that "as long as she doesn't have breast implants"...in relation to her partner finding another women ...

A.   15 March 2013: There is nothing wrong with plastic surgery. If you are unhappy with the way you look and you can find a way to be happier, then that is all that matter. You will never make everyone happy, there will always be people who disapprove of your choices ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend goes into "no contact" mode with me when she's angry...why is that?

Q.   I've been seeing this girl for about a year and everything is good for the most part, except for when she gets angry or upset about something. We are both in our forties so it shouldn't be attributed to immaturity, but it sure seems that way. For ...

A.   12 March 2013: Ah the passive aggressive partner. I had a friend like your girlfriend awhile ago, she eventually managed to alienate every single one of her friends because we all got tired of her silent treatment at even the smallest slight. I think your bes... (read in full...)

Due to get married in May but how can I trust my fiancé?

Q.   Im going crazy. I dont know what to do anymore. I have been with my fiance for seven mostly great years. But the past few months, I have found out a few things. He was texting some girl he met at a job he was doing and called her beautiful. An...

A.   12 March 2013: Whatever you do don't marry him yet. You should absolutely postpone the wedding. You shouldn't be getting married when you are feeling so unsure of the relationship at this point, and I don't blame you. He could just be getting nervous about the ... (read in full...)

I thought I was gay but I'm attracted to this girl..is it just a one time thing?

Q.   I'm a 19 year old guy. I've assumed I was gay since I was about 13. I tried to fight it at first because there was a stigma to being gay, but eventually I grew to accept it and had gay relationships and it really wasn't an issue anymore. But ...

A.   11 March 2013: Sexuality is very fluid and no one really exists in strict binaries. Just do whatever makes you happy without worrying too much about the label. You could certainly be mostly gay but find one or two women attractive.... (read in full...)

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