| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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I want to marry a female and have children but I am a gay male.
Q. I want to marry a female and have children but I am a gay male. Please help. ...
A. 19 January 2014: Is it children you want or the concept of a "wife?"
You can have children as a gay man, you will need to adopt or find a surrogate.
If it's the concept of a wife, you know that marrying a woman doesn't give you a free personal chef and maid as... (read in full...)
He has left me dangling and my life is on hold.
Q. My boyfriend and I split up three weeks ago he has serious mental health issues and said he cant sustain a relationship as he coudnt think straight . He said he was going to get help and in the meantime has seen me three or four times and says he ...
A. 18 January 2014: If he is refusing to get help, you have to move on. Even once he gets help, it's likely to take months or even years to "sort it out," and that's assuming he gets help. You need to move on and break it off. If he gets help and back on the right ... (read in full...)
She has a boyfriend but tells me her relationship is falling apart! Should I make a move?
Q. Hi! A year ago I posted here with regards to the break-up from hell. Well, I can safely say 12 months later that's all in the past Moved on with my life and it's all going well. So there's this new girl. Problem is... she has a boyfriend. Yep, ...
A. 18 January 2014: Look I know you want us to say, go for it dude great idea she's into you!
But here's the thing. You are reading too much into it and the only move that matters in terms of dating is for her to break up with him. Period. She can whine about he... (read in full...)
Should my sister be fasting now that she is pregnant?
Q. Hi My sister is pregnant- she is only about 7 weeks and is eating so much. She says she is hungry all the time. Is this a sign of anything? Sign of more than one baby?? Also, she does fasting days when she does not eat anything for 2 out of 5...
A. 17 January 2014: If that's how her eating was before she got pregnant, it's probably fine. I know lots of people who just prefer to go for a few days without food and feel better on it. Fasting =/= starving. As long as she is not underweight, is making regular ... (read in full...)
Self esteem in women:is it biological, is it cultural, is it our upbringing, ,... is it a jinx ?!
Q. DC community, please help me out in figuring this : why is it that lack of self esteem , at least in relationships, is such a pervasive FEMALE problem ? I mean, just look at the posts on DC and a huuuge quantity of them basically says ...
A. 16 January 2014: You're asking about a LOT of really, really complicated questions. These are problems feminists have been working on for decades. I will try to summarize.
Basically women are brought up in a society where just about everything in the media is... (read in full...)
I never slept with anyone or did anything more than kissing, I want to move in with my boyfriend but the past is haunting me!
Q. Hi there I am tormented. Sorry if this is long but i want to explain everything. I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years. In the beginning things weren't good. We argued A LOT. He played computer games and neglected me or would leave me...
A. 16 January 2014: This relationship is incredibly toxic, you've gotta get out. Don't get on a mortgage with this guy, don't get involved financially. You've never been with anyone else so you don't know that this is NOT normal or how a happy relationship should be. I ... (read in full...)
I found his ad on casual sex sites but thought he was against it!!
Q. Hi everyone, I have been with my current boyfriend for about 7 months now. About a month ago, I was using his iPad to purchase Christmas presents and I found a site bookmarked called "Forgetdinner". I was curious so I entered the site and it turn...
A. 15 January 2014: If he isn't already cheating, he's planning on it. He is lying to you over and over to cover his butt, so you can be almost completely sure he is also lying about this being in the past. You know he is because there are current emails and it ... (read in full...)
He thinks I have anger issues but no one else I know does!
Q. I just wondered if any women have had a situation where a man has accused them of being 'angry' as in inherently angry, when almost no one else that they know has ever said anything remotely like this? I recently had a situation in which a man w...
A. 15 January 2014: This:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/yashar-hedayat/a-message-to-women-from-a_1_b_958859.html... (read in full...)
I've been advised to get a mortgage on my own, and I feel guilty for in essence changing my mind about putting him on the mortgage!
Q. Hi I could do with some advice please. I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years but we recently broke up and got back together. The reason for this break was because he has 2 kids from a previous relationship who I love to bits,...
A. 15 January 2014: I know you care about him, but his finances are a wreck from the way you describe him. A total mess. Do not tangle yourself with that! You have only been dating two years and have broken up already. For now, getting involved financially with each ... (read in full...)
Do you say goodnight to each other or do you sometimes forget?
Q. My fiancé got upset that I didn't say goodnight to him. He wanted me to work on my project which I did late into the night. He was still up and in another area of the house when I decided I was really tired and I went to bed. He woke me up and s...
A. 15 January 2014: I mean you probably should, but waking you up just to yell at you about it seems INCREDIBLY over the top. Like a child's temper tantrum. I mean it was a little inconsiderate, but not THAT big of a deal.... (read in full...)
Too nice to be attractive for her?
Q. Hi, I was wondering if a guy can be too nice to a woman and this causes her to lose attraction, which was there in the first place. I mean, doing things for her, helping her and showing her your affection, not too soon, can that cause her losin...
A. 14 January 2014: What llifton said. I've never been attracted to anyone who wasn't nice and empathetic. But I've also never been attracted to someone who wasn't confident and independent. They are not exclusive. Be nice, just don't be clingy, don't put her on a ... (read in full...)
My mother and I cannot afford health insurance and we're losing hope
Q. Hi everyone, this is not a relationship issue but rather an issue within myself. I'm 19, going to school full time and work a part time retail job. I live with just my mom and a few wonderful animals. We are really, really broke to the point where ...
A. 13 January 2014: Have you looked around the healthcare marketplace yet? If you make under a certain amount you can get subsidized health insurance. Contact one of the health care navigators, who can help you find something affordable and see if you qualify for ... (read in full...)
I find my boyfriend's dry humping annoying. How do I deal with this without offending him or putting him off?
Q. This is a really stupid problem, but my boyfriend is always dry humping me... When I'm cooking dinner, when we're in bed, etc. It is kind of annoying, but I worry that I am thwarting his masculine sexual urges or something by telling him to stop and ...
A. 12 January 2014: You are allowed to tell him to stop touching you in an annoying way! Sometimes men (and women) have urges. That doesn't mean that urge has to be satisfied each and every time. Just ask him to stop the next time he does it. How long have you two been ... (read in full...)
I get embarressed when he is in the mood and I am not.
Q. I have a problem and I do feel broken by it. When I have sex with my fiance, I never had an orgasism. I know I can get off by myself, but not with him. To make me feel a little worse, we are done once he gets off. I have faked some just to make him ...
A. 12 January 2014: First things first, you've got to stop faking. You are only hurting yourself because when he thinks he can get you off, why would he have any reason to keep going and try to actually get you off?
Secondly, there is NOTHING wrong with you. You are ... (read in full...)
We absolutely have the money for a wedding but I'm not sure its a good investment!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a wedding question. My fiance and I have waited almost three years to get engaged as I wanted to be able to afford the wedding I want as all little girls dream about their wedding. I am just not sure I can spend six thousand...
A. 11 January 2014: This is like asking the internet whether you prefer apples or oranges! We can't possibly know what you want to spend money on.
Personally I think spending tons of money on a wedding is silly, but I spend money on loads of things other people t... (read in full...)
He said I pushed him into getting married
Q. After watching a movie with my husband about a very possessive women who was trying to force her bf into marriage and when he wouldn't she went absolutely nuts (funny movie by the way) My Husband looks over at me and says all women want is to get ...
A. 10 January 2014: Yes that would upset me a lot too! What an awful thing to say. The only way to interpret it to me is that he's having some kind of regret about settling down and is trying to blame you for it, despite it not being your fault. Maybe he is going ... (read in full...)
What's the answer? Buy a dildo? Think of images? Watch porn? How do I learn to turn myself on?
Q. I am new to this site- I will ask this question anyway. I would like to know what is the best ways to turn yourself on (masterbate) and make it so good? so you watch porn or just picture dirty things ? Does anyone suggest buying dildos? I...
A. 9 January 2014: Common things, removeable showerheads, fingers, lube that sort of thing. If you want a toy, get an external one, not a dildo. Women get pleasure from the clitoris and that's where you should start. While internal can be fun for many, it's generally ... (read in full...)
Does anal sex usually hurt so much? Should I feel guilty that I had sex?
Q. This might sound kinda crazy but I need to hear if anyone else has had an experience like this. I've been seeing this boy for a little while now and he is super cute. A few days ago he took me on a date to the carnival and we got a little drunk a...
A. 9 January 2014: No why would you feel guilty? If you want to try it again make sure you have lube handy, that will prevent it from causing any small tears that are likely what's causing you pain. Nothing to be ashamed of at all! Sounds like you had fun.... (read in full...)
How can he determine that there is "no chemistry" after just two dates? Is that possible?
Q. I met this guy two weeks ago and he came up to me and introduced himself. We talked on facebook for a day and he asked me for my number, he ended up calling me and we talked on the phone for three hours. He texted me everyday first and every night ...
A. 8 January 2014: You can know you have chemistry or the potential for it or not within 5 minutes. But starting out and saying "the one" after two dates? Whoa there! So no 2 dates isn't too soon for chemistry, but it's far too soon to ever even think about "the one" ... (read in full...)
How to be more magnetic to people, some people are, how do they do it?
Q. Some people have that magnetic quality to them, you know "it" that something that makes people want to be near them, to chat to them or be their friend. They arent always the most outgoing or attractive people, they may or may not be funny or witt...
A. 7 January 2014: Sorry but you can't learn to have that "it" quality. If you could, everyone would learn it!
But you can learn to be more interesting and engaging. Most people love to talk about themselves, and the more interested in them you are, the more int... (read in full...)
Do most guys like performing oral sex on women?
Q. Hi Everyone, I'm hoping you can provide me with some insight here! I have been with my boyfriend for a year and he almost never goes down on me. In the 10 months we've been sexually active, he's gone down on me maybe 5 times. I can't figure ou...
A. 7 January 2014: I think the latter, he probably doesn't like it that much but doesn't want to say it. It's kind of a sensitive subject and most people would be kind of upset by it. Have him use fingers or a toy instead.... (read in full...)
Is 8 months of dating too soon to ask to be exclusive?
Q. what do you think? Is asking a woman after 8month of dating to become exclusive, being to "intense" or putting too much pressure on it??? I am courious about it....I did it and got dumped......
A. 7 January 2014: 8 months?! If after 8 months she wasn't wanting to be exclusive, she never wanted it.... (read in full...)
Why is it bad to send ex a hate letter?
Q. I wrote a 3 page letter telling my ex how much I hate him. He had records of cheating and every time I forgave him and took him back. He's a liar and never changed. I'm so pissed and don't deserve after what I've done for him. So people said don't ...
A. 7 January 2014: I wonder if a lot of your anger comes from the fact that for some reason you continued taking him back despite knowing he was a liar and cheat? You won't move on from this by embarrassing yourself in a hate letter (and yes, that's all it will be, ... (read in full...)
Change to a bad boy, or stay the same
Q. Hey, so what am asking is can a man be to nice, like opening car doors, helping with her coat on an off, saying nice things to her every day,asking her how was her day, you know like at work, taking her to nice places to eat, poems, flowers, just ...
A. 7 January 2014: I love when men come in and give a blanket statement about what women like.
Women like guys who are nice. Assholes often get laid a lot because they are confident and confidence is sexy. Bitter "I'm a nice guy" guys struggle because they blame th... (read in full...)
I want to try swinging, but I don't know if I can without him loving me!
Q. Ok, we have only been dating about 5 months but I'm really fallen for him. I could even say I am falling in love.(I'm 44 and he is 46) I ended a 25 y marriage, but have been dating for about 4 y and this is the most serious relationship I have ...
A. 7 January 2014: I think it's a mistake. Most couples can't survive swinging longterm. Some can, but most cannot. It's a very common fantasy, but not all fantasies should be played out.... (read in full...)
Is he potentially an abuser?
Q. dear cupids, my boyfriend hits his sister, and i fear that a man capable of hitting his sister will hit me too in the future. i explained my fear to him yet he did not promise to stop it, he simply danced around the subject promising that h...
A. 7 January 2014: He is not potentially an abuser, he is an abuser. He hits her, he WILL hit you too. You should leave before it escalates.... (read in full...)
After breaking up, am I obligated to speak to him again?
Q. I told this guy I was seeing that I'm fed up with what we have going . He can be quite rude and last night I said we cant be together nor can we be friends as he obviously can't hack it. Neither can I, the bitterness is real on his end yet he says ...
A. 6 January 2014: Of course you're not obligated to have contact with him, you don't owe him anything. He doesn't actually want an explanation, he is just hoping for another chance to talk you into giving him another chance. You are doing the right thing.... (read in full...)
She gets upset when I point out I provide most of the money.
Q. Ive been with my girlfriend for a year and I really love her. But I think I pushed her away. We've been fighting alot. Mainly because of me throwing everything up in her face. I work and pay for all the bills. She works in a day care but isnt ...
A. 6 January 2014: Of course you're pushing her away! I would not want to stay with someone who pointed out constantly how little money I made and constantly pointed out that I owed them for living expenses. Talk about sucking the romance out of a relationship! If her ... (read in full...)
Change to a bad boy, or stay the same
Q. Hey, so what am asking is can a man be to nice, like opening car doors, helping with her coat on an off, saying nice things to her every day,asking her how was her day, you know like at work, taking her to nice places to eat, poems, flowers, just ...
A. 6 January 2014: I'm with the female anon below, getting pretty tired of this nice guy/bad guy thing. I have never heard someone legitimately turned down or dumped for being nice. Nice is always code for suffocating, smothering, starting to be a bit stalkerish, ... (read in full...)
Invited out for a drink, but what to drink when I have to drive!
Q. I'm going on a first date with a guy I met at a party and we're going to get a drink. I'm not a big drinker and we're both driving there separately. I've maybe drank 5 times in my life. I really don't drink a lot. I already agreed to get a drink so ...
A. 6 January 2014: Order a sprite/7up with a slice of lime and say it's a gin and tonic or just order a soda or something and be honest about it.... (read in full...)
My partner betrayed my trust and I don't know what to believe now...and we have a 3 month baby so leaving him is not an option
Q. Hi I have been with my partner for 2 years. We live together and have a 3 month old baby. We are both 25 years old and we plan to get married in the near future. He is a good partner and father but I have a problem. When I had known him for on...
A. 6 January 2014: Leaving is always an option, you should never feel trapped. I don't really see how to get past it when he was so dismissive of it and trivialized your feelings on it. It was a pretty big betrayal of trust to be telling an ex he loves her! I think ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my boyfriend want to have sex with me?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. He makes me extremely happy. He's attentive, caring, funny; one might say he's perfect. However, he doesn't have sex with me. The first six months or so we had a lot of sex. Then it sort of got ...
A. 6 January 2014: I ask because among young healthy men porn addiction/overuse is one of (if not the most common) cause of low libido and/or ED. If he isn't really having sex anymore he should law off both things cold turkey for a few months to see if it helps.... (read in full...)
Women, what turns you on? Why wasn't I attracted to a really hot guy?
Q. Girls, what do you think of penis'? Are you turned on by them? Do you enjoy giving blow jobs or do you do it mostly b/c you love your man and want to pleasure him? What do you enjoy most about a guy? What turns you on? Just him doing stuff to you or ...
A. 5 January 2014: There's no way for us to know why! You can't have chemistry with everyone.... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my boyfriend want to have sex with me?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. He makes me extremely happy. He's attentive, caring, funny; one might say he's perfect. However, he doesn't have sex with me. The first six months or so we had a lot of sex. Then it sort of got ...
A. 5 January 2014: First how much older is he?
Second, does he masturbate and or watch porn?... (read in full...)
What did she mean?? "My heels are higher than your standards"??
Q. My girl said to me my heels higher then your standerd. Can anybody tell me wat does it means pplss...
A. 5 January 2014: She was saying you have very very very low standards.... (read in full...)
I am a 23 year old virgin stuck in limbo!
Q. I'm a 22 year old virgin from Pittsburgh region of the US, and I have asperger's syndrome. I recently had a birthday and now I am down on myself again because I made it through another year of my life with not even a kiss and it is so upsetting. I ...
A. 5 January 2014: My boyfriend has AS so perhaps I can be of some help.
For my boyfriend by far his biggest obstacle to overcome was that he was completely incapable of picking up signals from girls that they were interested. So his whole life he went around t... (read in full...)
I think he likes me but why doesn't he make a move?
Q. This guy doesn't make a move! I like him very much. I feel warm and comfortable around him, and every time I see him I have sex dreams and wake up in a good mood. I saw him yesterday again at friends house. He wouldn't leave my side, looks and...
A. 5 January 2014: Why don't you make the first move? This isn't 1950 anymore. :) If you like him, ask him out! Maybe he just doesn't know you are interested. Ask him out yourself!... (read in full...)
What are women's preferences when it comes to male grooming habits?
Q. The recent post about the doctor seeing a man fully shaved got me thinking. What is a woman's preference? Do y'all prefer your man to be shaved bald? ...
A. 4 January 2014: I expect guys neatly trimmed and clean. I don't enjoy bald as it is stubbly and kind of overly young looking.... (read in full...)
What are the chances I'll get a guy who masturbates over me in a relationship?
Q. What are the chances I'll get a guy who masturbates over me in a relationship? Is this becoming uncommon now? I might be able to settle for them thinking of me sometimes, my ex hardly did, I found that strange and dumped him. I gathered I would ...
A. 3 January 2014: Why even ask something like that of your bf? I get it, it's hard not to want to feel like the only person in your partner's life, but I promise that lessens as time goes on and you exit the honeymoon period. Not because you care less but because you ... (read in full...)
I been burned being the nice guy again!
Q. Hi, just wondering ladies, what you think this means, been seeing some one for about two months, I thought every thing was going great, went out on her birthday, had a great time, then two days later had surgery on my leg, didn't hear from her for ...
A. 3 January 2014: You were only dating two months, things didn't work out. I'm pretty disappointed to here all the responses calling her "crazy" based on the fact that you two broke up. Most relationships don't work out, sometimes people just aren't that romantically ... (read in full...)
I like women but want to be married to a man. Is this normal?
Q. I love men, want to be with a man, and crush on men. I'm almost 30 and still single and haven't had a real relationship, however. I feel like something is wrong with me. I also love watching women strip on porn sites to get me off. It's easier to ...
A. 3 January 2014: It's totally normal to be able to appreciate attractive people of the same sex and find them beautiful without wanting to have sex with them.... (read in full...)
I like women but want to be married to a man. Is this normal?
Q. I love men, want to be with a man, and crush on men. I'm almost 30 and still single and haven't had a real relationship, however. I feel like something is wrong with me. I also love watching women strip on porn sites to get me off. It's easier to ...
A. 3 January 2014: Lots of straight women watch lesbian porn, it's totally normal and doesn't mean you are gay. Try to relax, it is not necessary to label everything. Sexuality is not black and white. ... (read in full...)
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