| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Will we be passing HPV back and forth if we keep having sex?
Q. Hello, well a women friend of mine, had a pap smear, it came back she has hpv, am the only man she's been with in years, I'm wondering, I've been told it can up to 2 years for your immune system to clear it up, I know their is a lot of different ...
A. 25 May 2013: No it doesn't work like that. She can't "catch" this strain again because her body will recognize it. My understanding is that the virus never fully clears, it just "deactivates" and remains dormant. She will need to get regular pap smears because ... (read in full...)
The little death--a man crying after sex?
Q. I want to ask people about something I recently learnt about called "The Little Death" when a guy cries after sex. Why is this? None of my exes did this. Can someone explain this further?...
A. 25 May 2013: The little death just refers to an orgasm, not crying. But sometimes people cry after an orgasm if it's particularly intense.... (read in full...)
No sex for 2 years - should I walk away from this otherwise happy relationship?
Q. My mate and and I have not had sex for 2 years He says he can't get a hard on anymore, but he can materbate and watch porn alone, I am not sure if it is me or if he avoids me, I am happy about everything else in our relationship but the sex. He ...
A. 23 May 2013: Sounds like a porn addiction. Like any addiction he needs to want help to get better. It's not a conscious choice, he needs help and a lot of work to stop. Check out this site for more information:
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com... (read in full...)
Is there any way to convince her age is just a number? I'm 18 and she is in her forties but we have the most amazing connection....
Q. Hello everyone, Thank you in advance for reading this, and for your advice is any comes to mind :) I’ll try to keep this short and to the point. I’m 18, and gay (girl). I met the most amazing woman two weeks ago, at a concert. I assumed she...
A. 22 May 2013: Age can be just a number when one person is 25 and the other is 20. But when she's more than double your age, age is a huge issue. You may be legally an adult but your emotional maturity isn't where hers is. Even if you are mature, you just can't ... (read in full...)
No diagnosis for his ED and lack of desire! My marriage is almost destroyed by this!
Q. I hope there are someone out there in my situation. I feel so alone with my problem. My 28 year long marriage is almost destroyed by this, and I dont know what else can I do. So my husband has a chronic sexual/erectile dysfunction, and complete ...
A. 22 May 2013: Can/does he masturbate? Does he still have a sex drive?... (read in full...)
Is it normal for guy friends to touch each other?
Q. Is it normal for guy friends to touch each other so much? My boyfriend says all guys do this, but I don't think so. In their group of friends they are always joking about having sex with each other, and they grab each others asses and squeeze it. ...
A. 21 May 2013: No it's not normal, your boyfriend sounds like he's cheating on you with his guy friend. Would it be OK for him to be doing with a woman? ... (read in full...)
Does this sound like normal puberty?
Q. Im 13. Ive had discharge for two years nonstop with no period. My breasts hurt i get headaches, ive noticed lots of blackheads and clogged pores, and i am constantly grumpy and hateful. What does this mean? help, i think puberty hates me...
A. 21 May 2013: "Ive had discharge for two years nonstop with no period."
Different amounts of discharge are normal, it varies by woman how much. As you get your period and your cycle becomes more normal, you will notice patterns in it and it should be less con... (read in full...)
Why does he want to do it himself instead of being intimate with me?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over 6 months and we are in love and live together. We have a really good and happy relationship apart from one thing. He would rather masturbate than have sex with me. Iv talked to him about it and he said that he ...
A. 21 May 2013: Read this site:
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com
It sounds like he has a porn addiction.... (read in full...)
have people broken mirrors and actually had bad luck after?
Q. you might think i'm stupid for even asking this question. But this morning I dropped my mirror and a chunk of the corner cracked and came off. I am quite superstitious, so I was wondering if it is true that if you break a mirror it's bad luck? ...
A. 20 May 2013: The worst luck I've had after breaking a mirror was stepping on a piece of it.... (read in full...)
Should I participate in hanky panky with a colleague while out of town?
Q. Just feeling a bit naughty I suppose. Soon I will be going out of town to San Diego for a 4 day class and conference. My husband has declined to join me so I am thinking of sharing a hotel room and bed with a very nice attractive young gentleman in ...
A. 20 May 2013: "Statistically almost 80% of men cheat at some point and 60% of women during their married life."
Not sure where you are getting those statistics because no reputable research has numbers even close to that. The last numbers I saw were around 3... (read in full...)
Can ex's be friends without issues? My boyfriend still talks online to his ex every day!
Q. Hello Aunts. My question is based on my own relationship history and my boyfriend's. Whenever I have broken up with someone, I haven't been able to stay friends with my ex's, for whatever reason. I have had 3 serious relationships including my ...
A. 20 May 2013: There's a difference between friends and basically having a non-physical relationship. Unless there are kids involved I don't know many people who would be OK with their partner talking to an ex DAILY. That is way too close for comfort. Even if they ... (read in full...)
I can't have an orgasm during normal sex
Q. Ok so this is an explicit topic but I need advice on something, that's obviously why I am here. I am worried that I am loosing my sexual stamina. I am a 21 year old female and I have never had an orgasm by a mans penis. the only way I can orgasm is ...
A. 20 May 2013: The vast majority of women can't orgasm from intercourse alone/a penis. Only around 20-25% can, and that's not even every time. That shouldn't be your goal because you're setting yourself up to fail. Also squirting is really more of a party trick ... (read in full...)
Should I participate in hanky panky with a colleague while out of town?
Q. Just feeling a bit naughty I suppose. Soon I will be going out of town to San Diego for a 4 day class and conference. My husband has declined to join me so I am thinking of sharing a hotel room and bed with a very nice attractive young gentleman in ...
A. 20 May 2013: No you shouldn't. It would be very selfish. How would you feel if your husband cheated on you while on a business trip? Assuming you are in a traditional monogamous marriage, you made vows to each other and you want to break these vows. This is a ... (read in full...)
Attempts at sex cause pain and bleeding. This isn't right is it?
Q. So I've been trying to have sex with my boyfriend and whenever he inserts his penis in my vagina the pain is awful and then I begin to bleed. So as soon as its hurting I ask him to take it out, which he does. I thought once you inserted at least ...
A. 17 May 2013: You need to go visit a doctor. Sex more doesn't stretch your vagina or change it, so having more sex won't help this. If you're relaxed and still in a lot of pain, you really need to see a doctor to check for health problems. Some women have things ... (read in full...)
I don't like being called a bitch! Do I try harder to be friendlier to my boyfriend's mates?
Q. I think I'm over reacting but I thought I would ask anyways. I've always been an emotional person and I get my feelings hurt easily. A friend of my boyfriend has really hurt my feelings twice now. The first time was he called me an 'effing bitch...
A. 16 May 2013: Is it OK to call a black person the n word? Then why would it be OK for him to call you a bitch? This guy is a misogynist, why would you try to be nicer to him?... (read in full...)
How do I casually set up a situation for oral sex?
Q. my boyfriend and i have fooled around before and i like it and i know he wants to do more but i've never done any of that before. hes felt me up and fingered me but thats the most ive ever done. ive never given a blowjob or a handjob and i feel ...
A. 15 May 2013: Just kiss down his chest and stomach and unbutton his pants. He'll get the hint pretty quick! Just ask in a sultry voice "is this OK" to make sure he's OK with moving forward, then go for it.
As for actually going for it, remember with a blowjob ... (read in full...)
Is what she told me about birth control pills for her true?
Q. Me and my fiance were talking about birth control one day and i asked her why doesn't she start taking the pill.She told me that she went to a doctor about it and they said that because of her size (she is close to 100lb over weight) that all it ...
A. 15 May 2013: They work fine. There is one type of pill that is slightly less effective, but most are fine in overweight women. She needs to see another doctor.... (read in full...)
HELP!!!! My weight is ruining my relationship
Q. I have had two children and I am now 70 pounds overweight. I'm very unhappy, angery and out of sorts with myself. I know that I need to lose weight, but after working, taking care of my dads kids and then taking care of my own kids, I find I h...
A. 15 May 2013: I have to question your bf and dad. Why are you working AND caring for so many kids? Is there any way that work can be split more evenly? Also your bf is an ass. How is that helpful to make you feel bad? Depression and anxiety can all make you put ... (read in full...)
I feel trapped in our relationship and his porn addiction is just breaking my heart!
Q. I would really love some advice from men and women. I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years. He is my 1st true relationship I'm 27 an he is 26. We got together when we were 18. I told him from the beginning that i was not okay with porn. He always ...
A. 14 May 2013: This website has a lot of very useful information, I think it would be very beneficial to look through it.
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com... (read in full...)
Why do girls like the bad boys?
Q. Hi there :) I have a wee question in general; why do girls like bad boys as opposed to the sensible, faithful guys who will treat them right?! Kind of a silly question, but just wondered if there was anyone else who, like me, is more attra...
A. 11 May 2013: I prefer sweet nerdy shy guys who are kind and caring.... (read in full...)
Its killing me that I can't tell my crush that I like him!
Q. What do I do? I like him so much is killing me.? So I was talking to this cute guy that I like so much and I asked him if he thinks a girl should tell a guy when she likes him and he said yes is 2013 so off course she can tell him. He said ...
A. 10 May 2013: You could not have been more obvious that you like him and he could not have been more obvious that he wants you to tell him. Ask him for coffee already!... (read in full...)
Can something get punctured by having sex?
Q. Is it normal when my boyfriend and i have sex i cani feel him past my bellybutton. It is really painfull . can he puncture something ?...
A. 10 May 2013: He could be hitting your cervix, which means he's going too deep. To me it feels like being punched in the bottom of my stomach, kind of nauseating. You should try other positions that don't allow him to go so deep, like for you to get on top to ... (read in full...)
How do you KNOW whether to stick with a relationship or simply admit defeat?
Q. How do you KNOW when the time is right to end a relationship? I've asked friends and the most common response I have received is that "you just know". I don't see how this is the case. I have been in a relationship for little over a year, but I fe...
A. 7 May 2013: Just because you CAN hold a relationship together doesn't mean you should.
"I don't believe that she is the right person for me in the long run."
That's how you know you shouldn't stick it out. Sometimes people just aren't compatible. ... (read in full...)
Gift ideas (Adult toys)
Q. I'm looking for gift ideas for my wife. Sex toys in particular. Background: We've been married for 12 years now. The number of times she's had an orgasm in the first 11 years was less than 11! Even when I went down on her. Last year we moved to...
A. 7 May 2013: Clitoral stimulation. There are some heads that some people recommend for anal stimulation though.... (read in full...)
Do women really get 'used for sex'?
Q. This is not a personal question but a general question about the concept of 'using' someone for sex which is usually used about women. Why do people assume that a woman is 'being used for sex' when she's in a friends with benefits situation or at ...
A. 6 May 2013: "If the woman wants a serious relationship, the onus falls on her to establish that the man is on the same page with her."
You could just as easily flip that, that if a man doesn't want it to progress into anything it's on him to be up front.
You... (read in full...)
Gift ideas (Adult toys)
Q. I'm looking for gift ideas for my wife. Sex toys in particular. Background: We've been married for 12 years now. The number of times she's had an orgasm in the first 11 years was less than 11! Even when I went down on her. Last year we moved to...
A. 6 May 2013: You should go shopping with her instead. Every woman is different and it would be good for her to pick. Browse online for reviews first. That said most people think the best overall vibrator ever is the Eroscillator.... (read in full...)
Does the number of people you sleep with have any effect on you later in life?
Q. I am just wondering if the number of people you sleep with has any psychological or emotional effect on you later. I am not talking 3 or 4 partners. I mean, like, say 50 partners. My best bud is dating seriously a girl who has slept around qui...
A. 6 May 2013: I would much rather date someone who slept with 100 people than someone who cheated on a long term partner even once. As long as she's not a drug addict or something, I don't see why the number of sex partners would make someone unsuitable as a long ... (read in full...)
LDR and first time bad sex. Do I want to continue?
Q. I'm in a long distance relationship. We've been together 3 year. He's so amazing and Im very much in love with him. Due to the distance we were finally able to have sex recently. I was a virgin and he wasn't. It was horrible. Even though I'd never ...
A. 6 May 2013: This guy sounds like he's way too much into porn. Does he seriously think that's how sex is? I think you should try talking to him bluntly about it first, but if he can't change, then you should move on.... (read in full...)
Is there a natural way to delay my period?
Q. Im going on vacation wednesday but im suppossed to get my period tomorrow. Is there anyway i can postpone it naturally in a few days without the pill?...
A. 6 May 2013: Unfortunately no.
You should look into a menstrual cup because they allow you to put it in and forget about them for 12 hours at a time, so it's almost like you don't even have your period.... (read in full...)
Is this a good time to try ignorning her?
Q. So I've heard that ignoring a girl you want to come back makes them miss you and want YOU back. The girl Im talking about is in Advanced Individual Training in Texas and just finished BCT. She says Im her favorite person on this Earth, which I ...
A. 5 May 2013: Mind games are not a good way to go about this. Your relationship sounds very unstable and sounds like it always has been and really it would probably be best for both of you if you split up and moved on. It's impossible to move on if you keep ... (read in full...)
What am I missing? Do women just want to play games when dating?
Q. I was having dinner with my guy friends last night, and we were sharing recent dating experiences. Two of us are in our early 30s and the other guy his late 30s. As we shared our stories, a common theme emerged - we were tired of people playing ...
A. 5 May 2013: DV1 does that mean all men are always just look to trade up for a younger woman with bigger boobs? Come on now, don't be sexist.
I think this is just a problem everyone has with dating. For women a lot of guys will act interested but really t... (read in full...)
He wants anal but it hurts, and he says I'll get used to it!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost three years now and we have tried anal sex in the past but I find it painful at times and other times it’s alright. My issue is he won’t stop asking me for anal sex even after I've had some tearing as a result ...
A. 5 May 2013: "I've tried telling him it's painful, he thinks I'll get used to it in time and that I am selfish to his needs."
No one NEEDS anal sex, is he seriously that manipulative and self-centered? You were in so much pain you RIPPED YOUR INTERNAL ORGA... (read in full...)
I don't want to do it but I don't want to lose him!
Q. I have been In a great relationship with my boyfriend for the past two years. But now wants to spice up our sex life with anal intercourse. I cant stand it and I told him that. He just told me get lubed up and ready for action or else. What do I ...
A. 4 May 2013: Or else? Seriously, what kind of guy says "you do what I want or else." It's manipulative and selfish at best, and sounds rapey at worst. Someone who cares about you doesn't force you into pain through threats and emotional blackmail. If he actually ... (read in full...)
How to make a tough decision when you're pregnant and it's unplanned?
Q. I'm 26 and been with my boyfriend for a year. It's been stressful lately and I got laid off from my job (company downsizing/ folding). I hate not working and get depressed. Ive been sick and my boyfriend took me to the doctor. He told me I'm ...
A. 4 May 2013: I think you should go back to the clinic alone to discuss the possibilities of abortion and adoption free from outside pressures. This is a really big question that we can't answer for you. Only you know how you feel. Not the net, definitely not ... (read in full...)
Could I get pregnant still if he didn't ejaculate inside me?
Q. We had sex before one week but he didn't entered me as he was rubbing my vagina with his penis and ejaculated outside my vagina. Can it cause pregnancy?...
A. 4 May 2013: If the semen got into your vagina it's possible to get pregnant. If he ejaculated on say, your thigh or butt, no. If he ejaculated on your vulva, maybe. It is safest to take emergency contraception and not let him ejaculate near your genitals next ... (read in full...)
B/f broke up with me saying I'm boring. I have no where to go!
Q. Dear Cupid My bf of 3 years dumped me saying he is bored with me, im the worlds most boring person and he cannot stand to spend even 5 mins with me in a day and im being petite (my hright is 5'0) is not working out for him. Did i happen to ment...
A. 4 May 2013: It sounds like you were in an emotionally abusive relationship the whole time. It's hard now, but in time it will be better for your wellbeing for you to move on and find someone who respects and loves you rather than belittles and controls you. A ... (read in full...)
He can cum when he watches porn, when he thinks I'm asleep. But with me he can't last. Is it me? Am not sexy enough for him?
Q. hi everybody .. i got married 6 months ago. I am 25 and my husband 36 now .. when we have sex he cant keep his penis hard for a long time and he doesn't cum always .. I have read about it and found out that it's because of alcohol and smoking and ...
A. 3 May 2013: This isn't about you not being enough. Porn can be addictive and in some men they no longer are able to be aroused by real life stimuli. Not because real life is less attractive at all, but because porn can impact brain chemistry.
Look at this web... (read in full...)
Porn discretion for men, how to prevent porn ever becoming an issue in your relationship.
Q. (Disclaimer: This article is not about lying to your partner. If you using porn in a relationship is a deal-breaker for her and has become a problem then this is not an article for you to break the conditions of your relationship by using these tips ...
A. 3 May 2013: The last survey I saw on the issue said that 70% of men have lied to their partner about their usage at least to some extent (some flat out lie some lie about the amount of time spent or whether they've paid for it etc...).... (read in full...)
I have a light patch on my upper lip and I don't know what to do about it
Q. Hey, I thank anyone in advance who takes the time to read this and answer it, because it's a rather small problem yet it greatly affects my self confidence. See, I grow a bit of facial hair above my lip and I remove it no problem with waxing stri...
A. 2 May 2013: First go to a dermatologist for a consultation about it to make sure there's nothing wrong.
Then it's probably worth looking into permanent/tattoo makeup to see if it would be possible to get it blended naturally.
In the meantime your ma... (read in full...)
Should I follow my BFs advice and smarten up for work?
Q. HI guys, This isnt a relationship question per sa, but I hope you can offer me some guidance. Basically I work in an office with no dress code so I go to work in jeans and tee shirt. I am allowed to do this if I wish but some of the staff cho...
A. 29 April 2013: "If there no dress code surely I shouldn't have to do something that's optional to get promotion?"
There is basically no way to get a promotion if you only do what is asked of you. Getting a promotion requires you to go above and beyond your lev... (read in full...)
Can a guy have an orgasm while dry humping?
Q. My bf and I sometimes have dry-humping (we've not had no sex yet, but he had with other girls before me). I often have an orgasm, but don't know if he has too. Can a guy reach an orgasm with dry humping? And if so, does he always wet his boxers?...
A. 28 April 2013: Yes he can. If he ejaculates it will make his boxers wet, but if there's just a little he could also just have pre-cum. Why not just ask?... (read in full...)
Porn discretion for men, how to prevent porn ever becoming an issue in your relationship.
Q. (Disclaimer: This article is not about lying to your partner. If you using porn in a relationship is a deal-breaker for her and has become a problem then this is not an article for you to break the conditions of your relationship by using these tips ...
A. 15 December 2012: What point specifically am I not responding to? I went back through and re-read them and didn't see anything else.
"The onus is on the people who hate it to ensure they don't have to deal with it,"
70% of men admit lying about it, so how are wome... (read in full...)
Porn discretion for men, how to prevent porn ever becoming an issue in your relationship.
Q. (Disclaimer: This article is not about lying to your partner. If you using porn in a relationship is a deal-breaker for her and has become a problem then this is not an article for you to break the conditions of your relationship by using these tips ...
A. 14 December 2012: "Cheating hurts even if the person doesn't know about it, porn is not the same at all."
60% of the female population would disagree with you there. Porn is something that needs to be talked about up front. It would be one thing if she didn't brin... (read in full...)
Porn discretion for men, how to prevent porn ever becoming an issue in your relationship.
Q. (Disclaimer: This article is not about lying to your partner. If you using porn in a relationship is a deal-breaker for her and has become a problem then this is not an article for you to break the conditions of your relationship by using these tips ...
A. 14 December 2012: You're splitting hairs here. Lying by omission is still lying. Unless your girlfriend says "I'm OK with porn but please keep it out of my sight" then you are lying by omission. If it hurts her so much that you have to hide it and sneak around and ... (read in full...)
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