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Aunt here since 2009.

Latest articles:

About Facebook and relationships

This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...

Is Pornography cheating?

This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...

< Prev1234567891011Next > [118 pages, 4696 answers]

My boyfriend says I don't have enough experience

Q.   My boyfriend told me last night that he is concerned that I don't have enough sexual experience for him to get more serious about our relationship. He is concerned that since I have only been in one other serious relationship that I cant be ready ...

A.   25 September 2013: He's not interested in you and is trying to let you down gently. When I read "he wants me to date other men to be sure he's right" what I actually hear is that he wants you to date other guys so hopefully you will fall for one of them instead and he ... (read in full...)

Why do some people not have stretch marks?

Q.   I have a question about stretch marks... How come some people don't have them? i've never seen the women in a porno have them, i know the pics are airbrushed but not the videos. Does anyone here not have them? I have them and it makes me feel li...

A.   25 September 2013: Almost all women have some form of stretch marks and cellulite. It's just part of being female. It doesn't make you lesser, we all have them. If they are purple you can use bio oil on them and that can help, if they are white there's isn't much you ... (read in full...)

Why do guys like to do this in sex?

Q.   I am in a relationship with a guy for 6 months now. When we make love I am very satisfied however he enjoys masturbating onto my face or into my mouth. I just don't get it. Why do guys think this is so great?...

A.   21 September 2013: It's from porn for the guy to dominate and/or degrade the woman.... (read in full...)

Sex is painful for me after having 2 children?

Q.   Feeling hopeless. Hi aunts and uncles. Sex is painful for me. Im not a virgin, by any means, my husband and I have two children together. I have read that "tenting" will help, but you must have foreplay to acheive that. My husband is not a fan of ...

A.   13 September 2013: It's fairly apparent what's going on in this situation! Your husband is a selfish lover. He is masturbating into you leaving you high and dry, of course sex is painful and unpleasant. For women "foreplay" is as important as sex, if not more. Your ... (read in full...)

Body dysmorphic disorder

Q.   So my problem is I am ugly....I have spent lots of money on therapy for BDD (Body dysmorphic disorder), but it just seems that a duck is a duck. I am ugly and that's that, but I feel like I'm gorgeous. So I'm a duck that thinks its a swan...any ...

A.   10 September 2013: Why is this a problem? Being overconfident is better than underconfident IMO. Why do you want to take yourself down a few notches? You don't have body dysmorphic disorder, you have confidence.... (read in full...)

Everything is happening to other couples but us! My boyfriend has trouble committing!

Q.   Does anyone feel lile their life isnt moving forward ( in their relationship)? And everyone else keeps getting the things you want? Ive been with my bf for over 4 years. There arnt any plans for marriage or children. Heck we dont even live togeth...

A.   7 September 2013: Even if he is "squirmy and sarcastic" it is time to have that serious talk. You already know the answer though, he is deflecting because he doesn't want those things. He is perfectly comfortable waiting forever with things exactly as they are, but ... (read in full...)

Has anyone been in therapy and tell me how long it took before they saw any positive results?

Q.   Has anyone been in therapy and tell me how long it took before they saw any positive results? I suffer from severe depression. This particular episode (which has lasted nearly 4 years) has been really hard to shift. I have been seeing a therapi...

A.   5 September 2013: I think if after 6 months you aren't feeling some improvement and aren't learning coping mechanisms, you need to try someone new. You shouldn't expect to be feeling 100% after 6 months, but there needs to be some work on at least how to work through ... (read in full...)

I like my best friend but she has a boyfriend. What should I do?

Q.   So I like my best friend, more than a friend should. But she currently has a boyfriend (over a year now). She knows I like her because I asked her to come with me to an event, then she wanted him to come cause she wanted us to make friends. I ...

A.   4 September 2013: Yes it is selfish, but so what? This friendship is making you unhappy so you have only two choices. One is to cut her out of your life forever, no friendship, no contact, just get it over with and you will move on. The other is to see if something ... (read in full...)

He told me I shouldn't try to wear a bikini again! Yet he looks at porn when I'm out of the house! Am I wrong to take this to heart?

Q.   My stomach was severely covered in stretch marks after having our first baby. Its been 3 years and I've worked really hard to get back down to my college weight. So I said something to my husband about trying to get back into a bikini. He told me ...

A.   3 September 2013: Two things. One, bio oil, miracle worker if your stretch marks are still purple and two, the vast majority of women have stretch marks. I'm a size 2 and I've got them. It is part of being female. If your husband has a problem with that, perhaps he ... (read in full...)

Secretive girlfriend! How do I approach this?

Q.   Been reading through articles on here and they are very useful. However I need some advice still. My g/f has become extremely secretive with texts and calls over the past month or so. There's a guy she's been speaking to and she has become quite ...

A.   30 August 2013: I'm sorry to say this but it sounds like textbook cheating behavior. Unless the guy is your best friend and she's planning a surprise b-day party, I don't really think there's any other explanation. Snooping is normally considered bad, but I think ... (read in full...)

What do guys do to have clear skin?

Q.   This a question mostly for guys who take care of their skin. What do you guys use or do to have a beautiful smooth skin? Everytime I see a guy with smooth skin I get jealous. I'm 21 and I sport nice and well groomed beard but I do look a bit olde...

A.   30 August 2013: Just like women do, you need to get into a good skincare routine. That means washing toning and moisturizing daily along with DAILY use of sunscreen SPF 30 or higher in the morning. Exfoliate 2-3x a week with a dedicated face scrub (i.e. not St. ... (read in full...)

I found a pair of women's sunglasses in his hotel room. Is my b/f cheating on me?

Q.   My boyfriend of four years is staying at a hotel for work for a month and this is the second time I've come to visit him while I can't work (rain). Today I arrived at the hotel and found a pair of womens sunglasses under one of the bedside tables ...

A.   27 August 2013: Has there been anything else he's done to make you think he's cheating? If not you should probably give him the benefit of the doubt that someone just left them there. I agree with doubcoll, try just asking him about them without saying where you ... (read in full...)

Is it OK for me to ask a girl to dress the way I like girls to dress when we go out?

Q.   I would appreciate opinions on how to approach this, or indeed if to say anything at all. I seem to have some type of "fetish" where if a girl is dressed in a certain kind of way, she becomes irresistable to me. Not sluttish, certain types of...

A.   27 August 2013: I wouldn't mention it until you've been dating for a bit. And when that happens I would mention it like "I find it super hot when girls wear___" and leave it at that.... (read in full...)

What did they mean when they said we had 'history'?

Q.   What's it mean when a guy says we've has history I was out with my ex the other night and these 5 lads who I know started talking to me and when my ex asked who they were they all said we've had history I've done stuff with all of them just haven't ...

A.   25 August 2013: Hooking up qualifies as having history. What I'm confused about is why it's your ex's business?... (read in full...)

Is it rude to masturbate in front of your boyfriend?

Q.   Hello, So my boyfriend and I had been on-and-of together for more than 2 years but I was never able to reach an orgasm. Not sure if it is because some women are just hard to get one or it is my problem. We don't see each other as often as we want...

A.   24 August 2013: How did he react when you were done? A lot of women have trouble reaching orgasm with a partner, you aren't weird or broken. Even fewer (around 25%) have an orgasm from penetration. Have you ever tried having him use your vibrator on you, or using ... (read in full...)

My ex said can't give me false hope??

Q.   my ex bf and i have hung out quite few times since the break up and yes we have "hooked up" but told me he cant give me false hope that we are getting back together..what does that mean? will he change his mind?...

A.   23 August 2013: No he won't change his mind. If you want to get back together with him, hooking up will only end in you getting hurt. He just wants sex and views you as a sure thing and safe. Break ups are like ripping off a band aid. It's best to get it done as ... (read in full...)

I got horrific razor burn and ingrown hairs from shaving my groin. How can I make it go away and avoid it happening again?

Q.   My girlfriend told me she prefers a man that is shaved in the groin. I've always just trimmed fairly short, but I figured I would give shaving a shot if it is what she likes. I've only ever shaved my face so I wasn't too experience with what to do ...

A.   22 August 2013: The only way to do a completely clean look is to wax. Otherwise there will be stubble.... (read in full...)

I get jealous of his virtual game girlfriend!

Q.   Dear Cupid, I've returned once again with a new relationship and I'm extremely happy with him. I met him the same way I met my last boyfriend on an online game, but we live in the same state so we can go out. However now on the game we ...

A.   22 August 2013: Are the characters dating but he doesn't interact that way with the woman, or is he flirting/dating the woman online?... (read in full...)

I get jealous of his virtual game girlfriend!

Q.   Dear Cupid, I've returned once again with a new relationship and I'm extremely happy with him. I met him the same way I met my last boyfriend on an online game, but we live in the same state so we can go out. However now on the game we ...

A.   22 August 2013: He is dating this other woman the same way he initially dated you. He is having an emotional affair. Surely what you had before you met in real life felt very real, or you wouldn't have met up. He doesn't get to have you in person and then have a ... (read in full...)

I can rarely make my girfriend orgasm, she can do it by herself but doesn't let me share in the experience and it makes me feel hurt, rejected and excluded

Q.   My girlfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. I am feeling pretty low in the relationship because of an issue which has been bothering me for nearly a year. I can only make her cum at most about 1x a month and we have an active sex life. She ma...

A.   19 August 2013: Very very few women can orgasm from vaginal penetration. So relying on that would cause frustration to nearly any couple. My advice would be to try things like oral on her, getting a toy to use on her, and fingers to see if that can help her orgasm ... (read in full...)

Are boobs that important to guys?

Q.   Hello! Ok so I am a 17 year old girl, and very small and thin... If any of you know who Ariana Grande is (singer/actress) I basically have the exact body type as her. Short, petite, and thin. Unfortunately that also means I really don't have boobs ...

A.   19 August 2013: The guy is a moron and a bully with some serious girl issues. My guess is he's never even been with anyone, period. Not sure on what planet that singer you mentioned could be considered anything but hot. Alessandra Ambrosio wears a 34B cup size, as ... (read in full...)

Should I tell him I had a miscarriage ? Were both 18 I don't want to freak him out

Q.   My boyfriend and i are both 18 . Last night i had a miscarriage should i tell him? I didn't even know i was pregnant . And i don't want to freak him out . By bringing up a baby and stuff . But should he know ? I was probably around 4 weeks maybe 5 ...

A.   19 August 2013: I'll be honest with you, I doubt you had a miscarriage. On the pill AND using condoms, it would be highly, highly, highly unlikely you were pregnant. The symptoms of a miscarriage overlap a lot with a bad period. If you think you've had one, go to a ... (read in full...)

How can I trust him when he was having webcam sex with his ex for months?

Q.   Hi, I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to handle my situation. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years. I thought we were happy in every aspect, and I could tell him anything, and I thought also could tell me anything. He ...

A.   13 August 2013: Short answer: you can't and you shouldn't. He cheated on you with his ex, for a long period of time, shows no remorse, and has basically been caught rather than coming clean. And on top of that, he had the audacity to say he wants to remain f... (read in full...)

Am I overreacting or do I expect too much from my bf?

Q.   For my bday my boyfriend (29 years old) got me Chanel No.5 perfume (kind of strange to me as I was turning 24 and I know this is a much more "mature" perfume). The problem isn't so much with my preference though, my problem is more with how he went ...

A.   10 August 2013: If he's a crappy gift giver, he probably just panicked and was decided that if he couldn't be thoughtful, it's equally good to throw a bunch of money at it and hope it's good. It seems obvious to you how to be thoughtful with a gift because ... (read in full...)

I don't get enough attention from him and he'll go days without texting or calling!

Q.   Hello there, I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a few months. We're two different people, with different interests, but somehow we love each other. I've always had problems with him not giving me enough attention, we could go for days...

A.   9 August 2013: I'm sorry but this relationship isn't going to work out. He is pulling away from you and has been from the start, and you are being clingy (probably because he's been pushing you away so much). You are getting nothing out of this relationship other ... (read in full...)

My anxiety is really affecting my life. I want my old self back!

Q.   Hello :) I know this doesn't generally relate to relationships but it is having a knock-on effect on mine and I would like to deal with it sooner rather than later. I think that I might have anxiety, or become prone to anxiety attacks lately (or the ...

A.   9 August 2013: There is no quick way to fix this kind of anxiety. The only way to really overcome chronic anxiety is to see a professional who will likely do some form of cognitive behavioral therapy with the possible addition of an SSRI medication. Doing those ... (read in full...)

A female in denial of her feelings. Anyone dealt with that?

Q.   Im curious. Has anyone ever dealt with a female who was in denial of her feelings? And if so, what did it take for her to get over it and come around?...

A.   7 August 2013: I am just going to post this again: "If a woman rejects you, she is not in denial of her feelings. She is denial of your advances."... (read in full...)

Do women really enjoy anal sex?

Q.   I had a fairly normal but boing sex life with my now divorced wife. I met a nice woman and have been dating her for 6 months. We had our first sex about 2 months into the relationship. She is quite adventurous sexually, way more than my x wife who ...

A.   4 August 2013: The vast majority do not like it, but I'm sure some do! Just be sure to be safe, lots of lube, and wear a condom so you won't be in danger of UTIs.... (read in full...)

Should I swallow? I always feel kind of sick afterwards

Q.   When my boyfriend comes, I always swallow it. Is that bad for me? Is it unhealthy to ingest and can it make me sick? This only happens once or twice a week. Sometimes my stomach feels upset, but I'm not sure if swallowing is really upsetting my ...

A.   4 August 2013: It's not bad for you, but if it's making you sick, stop doing it. Sex isn't about what you can do for him, it's a two-way street. It needs to be enjoyable for both of you and feeling sick is NOT worth it.... (read in full...)

He won't let me near his stuff but expects to be allowed to go through mine. Help me!

Q.   I am having problems trusting my boyfriend,but he says im crazy my boyfriend used to be very open with his email,his phone,his friends.He would not care if I was on his laptop and his email was open,and would share all his pics with me He wa...

A.   4 August 2013: Honestly, it sounds like this new "friend" could be someone he is cheating with or planning to cheat with. Paranoia is a classic symptom of someone feeling guilty. He is projecting onto you. That's a red flag, and then keeping all his communications ... (read in full...)

Girls, how long do you want your guys to last in bed?

Q.   How long do you want your guys to last in bed, girls? How long have your guys lasted? What's the record? Tell us about it. How long is too long and how short is too short during sex??? ...

A.   2 August 2013: Most women don't orgasm from intercourse, so amazing sex usually has little to do with lasting and way more to do with tons of "foreplay" and/or oral.... (read in full...)

Boyfriend can't get hard..is it because he is ill?

Q.   Alright, so. My boyfriend and I are extremely close and open with each other. And recently we engaged-- or tried to -- in sex. He couldn't get hard enough. Now. I wasn't mad or anything, frustrated, or annoyed. He tried to play with himself,...

A.   1 August 2013: Do you want to have sex when you feel like throwing up? I'd imagine he doesn't either! If he doesn't start feeling better in a few days he should call a doctor.... (read in full...)

My face is attractive but I'm quite flabby and I'm worried girls would be put off

Q.   My question is the type usually asked by females, who are generally more unsecure about their bodies. Looking on the internet, it seems from the blogs discussing the male body part that females find attractive, it seems that the great majority o...

A.   1 August 2013: There are things you can't fix and things you can. If you are happy with your body, great, if a girl doesn't like you for you she's not right anyways. But if you're not happy, and it sounds like you're not, why don't you change it? Like so... (read in full...)

Dildo insertion is uncomfortable - I am a virgin. Any advice?

Q.   Question: I have a vibrator/dildo (and I'm a virgin), and when I insert it, it doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel (really) bad, just kinda uncomfortable. Am I do something wrong? Any advice? [i use some lube]...

A.   29 July 2013: You have to be very turned on before it's going to be comfortable. Women orgasm from their clitoris anyways (though many enjoy the sensation of internal stimulation as well), so I'd recommend using it externally until you can more easily gauge how ... (read in full...)

I suck at riding my man. Can someone explain the motion to me?

Q.   Every time I try to have sex in the woman on top position it feels awkward. I feel like I'm not moving properly and it doesn't feel good for my boyfriend. I tried to watch porn videos and read about it to learn how to move but it's not helpful. ...

A.   29 July 2013: Just lean forward on your arms for support. You don't have to be using your thighs and only your thighs to make a motion. The lower down your torso is (like the closer to his chest) the easier it will be to move. You should start there and move ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has a squirting fixation and makes me feel inadequate because I can't do it.

Q.   Sorry to be vulgar, but I am experiencing a bit of tension in my relationship because I am not meeting my partner's expectations. I am his first, and he has a "squirting" fixation... before we got together, he actually did not know it was poss...

A.   29 July 2013: He needs to get his head out of the porn and back into reality. Most women "squirting" in porn are peeing. It's actually pretty rare. Some women can do it, but most don't do it regularly. YOU are not the problem, his unrealistic expectations based ... (read in full...)

Are there any natural ways I can make my period any lighter for tonight?

Q.   So my boyfriend and I recently had to move back into our parents' house for a few months until September. We've planned a night away tonight seeing as we haven't been able to get any private time the past few weeks, but I woke up this morning and I ...

A.   29 July 2013: Try a disposable menstrual cup. You can have sex with them in, but it won't be "messy." You can leave them in for 12 hours at a time. Things like Diva cup won't work because they sit low, but things like Instead Softcups sit much higher and don't ... (read in full...)

I only want to date men, so why am I becoming addicted to lesbian porn?

Q.   I have this problem I am 100% straight I know this because I date only guys and I am attracted to only guys, yeah everyone dreams of a model body and I am rather insecure sometimes. But my issue is I am worth lesbian porn quite alot recently and ...

A.   28 July 2013: Many straight women who use porn prefer lesbian porn. Porn is overwhelmingly made by men for men and frequently shows uncomfortable or downright painful moves and positions. Lesbian porn typically does not.... (read in full...)

What are men's opinions on girls who watch porn?

Q.   what are men's opinions on girls who watch porn? Should we keep it to ourselves and lie to our bf/husband or fess up?...

A.   27 July 2013: You shouldn't lie to your partner. It's up to you whether to disclose or wait until asked.... (read in full...)

Why does my boyfriend have trouble keeping his erection?

Q.   Sometimes when my boyfriend and I are having sex, he has trouble maintaining his erection. The other day, he went soft while I was on top. So I decided to give him oral, and he had no problem getting hard again and then reaching climax. This has ...

A.   26 July 2013: Given your age I wonder how often he uses porn and/or masturbates? That seems to be a growing cause of impotence in young men, and the fact that increasing the stimulation helped hints at that.... (read in full...)

After a month boyfriend wants to have sex but I don't think I'm ready yet

Q.   Ok, i have known my boyfriend for a month now he wants to have sex in a way i do too but then i realize im not ready. What should i do?...

A.   26 July 2013: Tell him! Is he pressuring you into it? There's no reason to rush into it if you're not ready.... (read in full...)

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