| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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I like women but want to be married to a man. Is this normal?
Q. I love men, want to be with a man, and crush on men. I'm almost 30 and still single and haven't had a real relationship, however. I feel like something is wrong with me. I also love watching women strip on porn sites to get me off. It's easier to ...
A. 3 January 2014: It's totally normal to be able to appreciate attractive people of the same sex and find them beautiful without wanting to have sex with them.... (read in full...)
I like women but want to be married to a man. Is this normal?
Q. I love men, want to be with a man, and crush on men. I'm almost 30 and still single and haven't had a real relationship, however. I feel like something is wrong with me. I also love watching women strip on porn sites to get me off. It's easier to ...
A. 3 January 2014: Lots of straight women watch lesbian porn, it's totally normal and doesn't mean you are gay. Try to relax, it is not necessary to label everything. Sexuality is not black and white. ... (read in full...)
I'm worried my boyfriend is losing interest!
Q. For the past few weeks my boyfriend has been acting very different with me and I don't know what's going on anymore. Basically I have a few questions such as What are the signs that a guy is losing interest in you or becoming bored with the r...
A. 3 January 2014: Have you ever seen this?
http://cdn.themetapicture.com/media/funny-women-vs-men-diary.jpg
I think it applies here. He sounds like maybe something is going on at work or with his family and he just hasn't brought it up. Holidays are stressful fo... (read in full...)
Why do girls lose interest?
Q. This isn't a question about a specific scenario but rather a general question in regards to romantic relationships. Because I have seen this happening to me and to some male friends often (and it is a recurrent topic here in DearCupid.com). ...
A. 3 January 2014: "This can totally go the other way around (boy loses interest in girl), but I think it happens less often. Maybe I'm wrong."
Yes, I think you're wrong. Happens all the time on both sides for a lot of the same reasons, the chemistry isn't there, too ... (read in full...)
Things are great but I am bored, how can I spice things up?
Q. So, I've been with my boyfriend for two years and things are great I'm just bored. I don't know what to do about this, we go out alot and it just doesnt satisfy me (to put that in the most grateful way, we go and do things together alot, sex is dull ...
A. 3 January 2014: By what definition are things great? He treats you well, that's nice, but lots of guys will. You say you only went out with him because he was very persistent and you weren't that attracted at the beginning and it sounds like that attraction never ... (read in full...)
LDR and we are ready for marriage, but who moves where?
Q. I am in a Long Distance relationship that seems to have worked so great until now that we are trying to make the next move into marriage. Neither one of us wants to relocate. When we met the talks of relocation was easy. Now he is very much ...
A. 2 January 2014: There is no easy answer for you.
From what I've observed is that there is often animosity when one person moves to be with the other if they aren't extremely excited about the idea. So what I've seen works best is for the two of you to pick a b... (read in full...)
LDR and we are ready for marriage, but who moves where?
Q. I am in a Long Distance relationship that seems to have worked so great until now that we are trying to make the next move into marriage. Neither one of us wants to relocate. When we met the talks of relocation was easy. Now he is very much ...
A. 1 January 2014: I know of a marriage where they were long distance for a decade, and both were miserable. Finally the woman decided to come to be with the man. They tried it for a year and there were no jobs to be had. She was doing jobs she didn't really like and ... (read in full...)
I have never had a "G-spot" orgasm.
Q. Please excuse the graphic details!! I have never had a "G-spot" orgasm. Only ever clitoral orgasms. My boyfriend of two years says he really wants me to have one. I think he misses it and feels he can't satisfy me sexually. But I can only really ...
A. 31 December 2013: First Freud told women they were broken if they didn't have vaginal ones, not Cosmo tells women they are broken if they can't have G spot ones.
ALL orgasms are clitoral, it's just a matter of where it's stimulated from. Some women enjoy the sens... (read in full...)
BF of 4 years. Our sex life was phenomenal. So why is he now choosing Porn over me? I need advice please
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and we have been living together for the past year and a half. Up until two months ago our sex life was phenomenal; we would have sex almost every day, and sometimes more than once. However we suddenly...
A. 31 December 2013: OP no need to get defensive, I am not accusing you of anything. Porn addiction is very real and affects around 15% of all porn users. It has NOTHING to do with you. You could literally be the hottest woman on the planet and amazing in bed and it ... (read in full...)
On exchange: Should I give up a good school and see him instead?
Q. Hi :) He was the most gentlemanly, thoughtful and humourous person I've ever met. We met when he was travelling. At that time, he decided to cancel his next trip to stay longer with me. We had picnics, went biking and visited new places together...
A. 30 December 2013: Bon choix!... (read in full...)
His remarks made me feel uncomfortable. How do I tell him I don't want to see him again?
Q. So this is my situation. I met a guy a while ago, and I found out from a mutual friend that he is extremely into me. I was really not especially attracted to him from the beginning, but since physical attraction is not always instant, I decided ...
A. 30 December 2013: This is not just a red flag, it is a million red flags and a giant siren. This guy is already behaving in a frankly scary way. I think you should just cut him off. Normally it's nice to give him some kind of "not interested" message, but you have ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling insecure because my boyfriend used to date a stripper
Q. I've been seeing my boyfriend for a couple months already. He's great, he's very loving and I really trust him. He's very open about his past, though. That's great, because he's honest and it builds trust, and usually it doesn't bother me. But ...
A. 29 December 2013: Uh oh, the exes. I think everyone has felt insecurity about an ex at some point. It's impossible to know which thing will set it off. In this case, I think the word stripper has probably made you conjure up this image of a Victoria's Secret model in ... (read in full...)
Should I buy my boyfriend of 4 months the new Playstation 4?
Q. Hi Dear Cupid, I am in a LDR with a guy I met 4 months ago. We decided to make it official October of this year. Instead of exchanging gifts during Christmas time, it was a mutual decision for us to surprise each other with them in January when ...
A. 29 December 2013: PS4 costs WAAAAAY more than a Kindle! That is insane, you should not get a guy you've been seeing for 4 months a PS4. I wouldn't even get my bf of 5 years a PS4. A kindle can be had for $60. Not even a close comparison. I think even spending $50 on ... (read in full...)
On exchange: Should I give up a good school and see him instead?
Q. Hi :) He was the most gentlemanly, thoughtful and humourous person I've ever met. We met when he was travelling. At that time, he decided to cancel his next trip to stay longer with me. We had picnics, went biking and visited new places together...
A. 28 December 2013: Choose the better school this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Not to mention there are trains from Paris to Germany for not much money, it is much easier than getting from Canada to Germany! ... (read in full...)
I told her I was socially awkward and she laughed it off.
Q. I spent a day with a girl I like and her friend. I'm kinda socially awkward and didn't say much to them at all. It was really ridiculous on my behalf. She did say that she wanted to see me again so I don't think I came off too weird or creepy. So ...
A. 28 December 2013: This is your social awkwardness talking, she was trying to lighten the mood that's all. If she says she wants to see you again, see her again! She wasn't being insensitive, she was just reacting how most people react when someone says they are ... (read in full...)
My husband never seems to notice hot women.....EVER!
Q. Hello, I am in my 20s and my husband is great, perfect even. He takes me out, listens to be me, we have a great sex life, we hardly fight. It's wonderful. However.... I recently began to notice that he never seems to notice young attractive...
A. 28 December 2013: And you're complaining because...?
My boyfriend almost never checks out women in front of me, it's just plain rude to do so and most guys with any manners won't be ogling women in front of their partner. Your guy is just polite, that's all.... (read in full...)
He chose an engagment ring for me, did I do the wrong thing with it?
Q. My bf of 2yrs gave me an engagement ring(only) on x-mas eve. Honestly I thought he wouldn't want to get married again. First marriage when he was a teen. Second, she cheated on him. Couldn't blame him if he had reservation on marriage. (I've never ...
A. 28 December 2013: It's a bit of a tricky situation. On the one hand he's paying and it's kind of a gift. On the other you are expected to wear it every single day for the rest of your life and look at it every day.
I think so long as you were very nice about it... (read in full...)
What's the best advice on how to read men? I want to understand this man's intentions better
Q. Hello, I went out last night and bumped into a guy i dated for about a month 2 years ago. Just wondering if you could help me understand 2 little things. 1. Him, his friends and I were talking, I cant remember the conversation topic, but he sa...
A. 28 December 2013: I think you should try not to dissect it too much. Nothing in that interaction is really telling of anything.... (read in full...)
He wants sex all the time and I am starting to get really stressed!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4.5 years and I'm starting to get really stressed out by the fact he wants sex all the time. I used to love having sex with him, but now I feel like that's his main focus and it's putting me off doing it ...
A. 27 December 2013: I think that this situation happens pretty often. Basically what happens is the guy gets more and more comfortable pushing for sex, and the woman rewards his pushing with sex. So after awhile, it's pretty natural that he feels he can push and push ... (read in full...)
Should I take two years off from my studies to pursue my dream of becoming an actor?
Q. Hey everyone, I am 24 years old and I have lived in a small city all my life due to which I couldn't pursue my dream to become an actor!education is a must so I dint want to quit studies and run after my dream so here I am,done with my studies ...
A. 25 December 2013: Try your hand at local theater (there are small theaters somewhere) first and some acting classes to make certain that you have the talent and the look (not necessarily good looking, just someone people want to see). Unfortunately the odds are ... (read in full...)
What's the perfect formula for when to have sex?
Q. Does it matter when u have sex with a man will he think less of u if u give it up too early or too late? What's the perfect formula if there is one? I am a quote in quite "pretty girl and highly educated". I've never had a tough time getting dates ...
A. 25 December 2013: The only perfect formula is when you are comfortable. If you can't feel comfortable until he's had an STD test, that is completely fine. If the guy is interested he'll wait.... (read in full...)
BF of 4 years. Our sex life was phenomenal. So why is he now choosing Porn over me? I need advice please
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and we have been living together for the past year and a half. Up until two months ago our sex life was phenomenal; we would have sex almost every day, and sometimes more than once. However we suddenly...
A. 24 December 2013: Sadly this is becoming a much more common problem. This site will give you tons of information.
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com... (read in full...)
Why do girls seem to prefer, and date, the guys who are cocky, arrogant, stubborn jock types?
Q. Why oh why do girls prefer the cocky, arrogant, stubborn jock types? Is it because they assume their children together will be born with a lightning bolt in their hands? Girls have done pretty skewed ways of finding guys thinking that they are bett...
A. 24 December 2013: "Why oh why do guys prefer the air-headed, large-chested, blonde bimbo types?" Girls go home for meaningless sex with confident guys because confidence is sexy. Usually the self proclaimed nice guys ooze bitterness and desperation out of every pore. ... (read in full...)
I can't bear the thought of him kissing another girl!
Q. Do you think that kissing is cheating? When I was with my ex, I would have firmly said no - I really didn't think kisses meant that much and weren't personal, I kissed other people and he did too, it was never sober or with the same person more...
A. 23 December 2013: Most people I know in a monogamous relationship think kissing is cheating, it's certainly the more typical view but definitely not the only right one. Personally I find that the more I love someone the more conservatively I draw the cheating line.... (read in full...)
I recently gave up my virginity and still find sex uncomfortable
Q. Hi, I’m currently in a new relationship with my boyfriend and I have lost my virginity to him. We have tried having sex twice. Every time we have sex, it feels slightly uncomfortable and very tight. My boyfriend can only manage to enter his cock ...
A. 23 December 2013: The average woman takes a full 20 minutes to be fully aroused, are you getting enough foreplay? Have him get you close to orgasm before he even tries to put it in to be sure.... (read in full...)
How do I inform my friends and family that I'm now a vegan?
Q. Basically I converted to veganism 2 months ago because i nolonger want to contribute to the violence towards animals, with the bonus of improving my health and being one step closer to saving the planet. Now i've keep this a secret from ever...
A. 23 December 2013: If they cook for you, you tell them. Otherwise keep it to yourself. It's kind of like religion, people have been lectured to so much by vegetarians and vegans about their own eating habits, people are often a bit wary around vegans and vegetarians ... (read in full...)
She got so drunk she can't remember hours of her night out!
Q. my girlfriend of a year and a half went out last night on bourbon street in new orleans with her brother and got black out drunk and seperated from him. said she doesn't even remember how she got back to her hotel room this morning and can't recall ...
A. 21 December 2013: If she is not normally a flirtatious or handsy drunk, I think it's pretty unlikely she'd magically transform into a differently behaving drunk. It seems pretty clear that nothing happened. She's been that drunk before and you know what she's like, ... (read in full...)
How do I know if he wants me for anything more than sex?
Q. I met this guy at a nightclub when all my friends were busy dancing etc. He approached me as he saw that I was on my own and I liked him so agreed to dance. I try to be subtle and genuine with people. He is currently working in the auto industry...
A. 21 December 2013: You can't from just the one night in the club. If you're interested contact him and see what happens and keep sex off the table until there is some kind of commitment (i.e. exclusive dating).... (read in full...)
He's prepared to live off mommy's money -- Is this an irreconcilable difference?
Q. My boyfriend is a spoiled "mama's boy." He's 21 (as am I) and we have been together for four years. His mother is very wealthy, has fancy cars and 6 apartments and recently told him that he will inherit all of this. Since this discovery, my ...
A. 14 December 2013: I personally couldn't be with someone with no ambition. I'd rather be with someone who is poor but ambitious than rich but lazy. I suppose it's up to you, but how does he plan to spend his days? Does he plan to just play video games all day, leave ... (read in full...)
Why do you not lose weight whilst on your period?
Q. I'm confused with this whole 'you can't loose weight whilst on your period'. I have started my period and typically it's started on the first day of my weight loss. I'm eating very healthy and doing lots of exercise today onwards to get back on t...
A. 13 December 2013: Weight loss and fat loss are two very different things. Most women gain weight on their period, but it has nothing to do with fat, it is water retention/bloating. Some women go up a whole pants size on their period, but it is temporary. Your period ... (read in full...)
Is this a new type of double standard?
Q. I hear quite often that when a girl meets boy in a bar or other way, and she says she only wants cuddling etc. and no sex, it is a deal breaker and he leaves. Of course I am not talking about having a long term relationship. What about if the shoe ...
A. 12 December 2013: "I have noticed that women on this forum have said it is not ok for a man to just chat up a girl, have a kiss and cuddle and then leave" Really? I've never seen that.
The only thing I've seen is that playing is never OK, where you tell someone ... (read in full...)
I'm considering changing my personality to become a jerk in order to date!
Q. So, I've recently, after the same bullshit of "I see you more as a friend", decided to change myself into the complete opposite of what I am now, knowing that it will take a long time. Today I behave like a Gentlemen when dating, red roses as a ...
A. 10 December 2013: Traits in jerks women tend to like:
Confidence
Independence
Knowing what they want
Traits that make people just jerks
Arrogance
Selfishness
You don't have to take it all as a package deal. You can be confident and independent without be... (read in full...)
Why do guys ask for underwear?
Q. I slept with this guy like more than 5 times. He asked for my underwear twice and on his third ask, I decided, why not? So I gave them to him. I just want to understand this phenomena... why do guys ask for underwear? I'm curious. I just hope I ...
A. 10 December 2013: Yeah I've never had that, it's definitely not common! Some guys just have a fetish for used underwear, I hear there is a market for used underwear and stockings. Also probably a trophy.... (read in full...)
Please help - I found dodgy photos on my boyfriend's computer.
Q. Hi everyone, I'm a bit confused and any insight would be appreciated as I can't talk to anyone else about this. My boyfriend is a sweet guy, I always knew he had a Pervy side but all guys do and that didn't really bother me.... Until I found pic...
A. 10 December 2013: You know it's wrong, VERY VERY wrong, or you wouldn't be on here asking about it. I agree with the others, this is rapist child molester levels of creepy. Serial predators are INCREDIBLY charming and most of them had girlfriends and wives who also ... (read in full...)
I know he's had bi experiences, so how do I talk him into a MMF?
Q. I'm a 43 year old female who had the great fortune of meeting the love of my life 2.5 years ago. We've both been around the block many times, and we're perfect for each other. Lots of sexual experience on both our parts. He's not very...how s...
A. 9 December 2013: I think if he's uncomfortable you gotta just let it go. I don't know if shame or something else, but he knows you want it and he's not in it 100%. That means you need to let it go. A threesome is a very very tricky situation to navigate as is and if ... (read in full...)
I don't want drama that could poison our relationship around this pregnancy
Q. Hi recently found out that I am about a month pregnant. I am considering abortion since, I am not married, still in school, with exams, thesis to write. I have been with my boyfriend for more than a year, but things are rocky. We broke up about 5 ...
A. 8 December 2013: I don't think there's anything wrong with not telling him in this case. As you said, you are not sure what is happening and it will be a huge strain on you emotionally to tell him (though if you stay with him long term you do need to tell him). What ... (read in full...)
Is it bad to be straight to the point?
Q. Is it bad to be straight to the point? From what I hear and what I see it feels like most of my friends have gotten into relationships by "Playing it cool" and a lot of the interactions is set out like a game. Its probably not done on purpose ...
A. 8 December 2013: "The game" is one of the most annoying things people can do when they date, but frankly everyone does it and I can say firsthand it IS in fact a little odd when people I've dated didn't play a little. Sucks, doesn't it?
While honesty is nice, th... (read in full...)
Boyfriend makes me out to be a nag...am I?
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been seeing a guy for around 6 months. At around 5 months in, he mentioned he was looking to buy somewhere in future and live on his own or with his sister. I asked him about this as I thought if things worked out between us that ...
A. 8 December 2013: I'm sorry to say but your boyfriend is not as into you as you are to him. Maybe you two simply aren't a good match, maybe he's not ready for a commitment, who knows. But it's clear that he is trying to keep you constantly at a distance and I highly ... (read in full...)
I have no clue as to how to get my boyfriend's motor running and wanting sex
Q. I am not happy with the amount of sex my boyfriend and i have. I want it more than him, the problem is i am very insecure and have a hard time making the first move due to my fear of rejection. we dont currently live together we stay with friends so ...
A. 8 December 2013: It could be the lack of appropriate places to have sex, the stress about it or perhaps the porn, it's hard to say. How much does he watch?
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com... (read in full...)
Can a guy be really sweet to you and yet not think of you when he's masturbating?
Q. I don't know this has been asked.... How can a guy open doors for you, pay for drinks, stare longingly into your eyes, drive you around, hug you and not think you about when masturbating? It hurts thinking about it. Is it because I'm not...
A. 8 December 2013: I am confused what you are asking. What did he say exactly that is bothering you? Some guys don't think about their girlfriends when they masturbate because they think it's disrespectful.... (read in full...)
What can I say to make things better with my fiancée, and why have I upset her so much?
Q. My fiancee is not speaking to me apart from to say she thinks we should break up. It all started the other day when we were going to a Sci Fi convention. She was ok to go with me but I could tell she was a bit bored. When we got home, I asked her if ...
A. 6 December 2013: You really can't see why you've hurt her? You said you were looking forward to a convention more than spending your life with her. Dude you need to get your priorities in order!!! A gaming convention should not be more exciting to you than a ... (read in full...)
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