A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:In high school were you ugly and then get good looking when you became an adult? I was a cute kid/preteen until I hit the age of 15. At 15 I got a weird facial structure, acne, dry frizzy hair, and am SO socially awkward. I'm 19 and still have all that stuff. I was so different before 15, am I going through my awkward stage?I'm a guy btw!
View related questions:
acne Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2013): I don't know if your frizzy hair is caused by hormones, best to ask a hair stylist.As for acne. Yes it can be caused by hormones. Many adult women get acne around the time of their monthly period thus proving the link between acne and hormones. I did for many years. Hormones change the amount of oil your skin naturally secretes. More oil makes it very easy for the dead skin cells you normally shed, to clog up the pores thus making them infected. Exfoliating regularly will help but if it really is due to hormones then cleaning alone is not enough because the main problem is your skin producing too much oil. My problem got solved by diet changes. I became vegetarian (for other reasons) and started taking lots of vitamin supplements especially vitamin C. This was all I needed to change my internal hormonal balance as an adult. As a teenager I had other skin issues where I had to see a dermatologist.So yes your acne could be due to hormones if you are already practising good hygiene. But hormones doesn't mean puberty. you are not still in puberty! I think at 19 you are past it. But there could be some hormonal imbalance anyway. You may need to see a dermatologist to know for sure. You should also exercise regularly so your body is as attractive as you can make it. This is something that is within your control.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2013): I was ugly and fat in high school, and then became skinny and hawt LOL. Honestly, I never thought a girl would ever like me, and it is to the point now, that I am the most socially awkward ever. I have women trying to start conversation with me here and there, and my grandpa and mom always fuss at me because I just don't know what to say or do, sometimes I am oblivious to the fact that women are trying to talk to me! I mean, good looking women. But honestly, I will tell you what I do, and what I pay the most attention to as well. Hygiene is #1 = Seriously, brush your teeth, neaten your hair (I keep my really short, like guard # one short), shower regularly, etc. #2 is appearance... So what if you've never been the type to dress up, don't be afraid of it. Everyone wants to impress, and nobody is going to point anything out except that you look great! #3 The neat appearance. Always, and I do mean ALWAYS keep a clean and neat appearance. Hair tidy, beard (if you have one) Tidy, Don't go out to impress while wearing those old raggedy jeans, or that shirt eaten up with holes, and don't forget the shoes that should've been thrown away 2 years ago. In all honesty, you just have to be neat, and wear your style confidently. Throw yourself some nice new slicks on your feet, and a nice pair of blue jeans (American Eagle and Hollister jeans sell cheap at confinement stores), and find a nice shirt (doesn't have to be name brand, collared, or anything special, pick your own style, but do stay away from shirts with graphics on them, just... no). I still get the jitters when going in to public, because I was the fattest kid in town until I was 16! Then I lost a bunch of weight, grew to 6 foot tall, and I started getting noticed by all kinds of ladies. Your outward appearance is all about what you wear, and how you wear it, and its also about how you up keep yourself. When I doubt myself, I go to youtube and listen to "Fake It" by Seether. The main chorus is "Fake it if your out of direction, fake it if you don't belong here, Fake it if you feel like you're back stabbed...", That's just the point. Fake it if you need to. Wear a fake smile of confidence on your face, and play the part you want to be! Women pick up on those things. Though don't be too confident, because you'll just seem "cocky", then. It is a delicate balance. Integrate things in to your life, little by little, day by day, and you will even impress yourself buddy. I have confidence in you! Show em' what you got!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2013): Nope, the other way around for me. I was a gorgeous teen, long blonde hair, grunge style, baby faced pretty boy. Then I got fat and bald in my 20's, now I'm ripped and hunky in my 30's.
As others suggested OP it takes work, not just hormones. You have to style to your hair type, frizzy and unmanageable? maybe you can grow an afro or other kind of funky style. Best to consult a hair stylist. Dress for your body type and to suit your personality, acne is best solved with the aid of a dermatologist. Eating well, and exercising makes a huge difference. Processed foods, even non-organic meats in America are full of growth hormones and other rubbish that really will mess with your skin. Don't smoke, drink moderately and get plenty of fresh air.
How you look is all down to your lifestyle and choices, and choosing to work with what you have.
OP we all know people who were ugly in high school who became beautiful, hormones had nothing to do with that, intelligence did. Girls who learned to dress to suit their figure, got hair styles that accentuate not hamper their features, exercised and grew into themselves with confidence and learned the benefits of well applied make up.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2013): OP, I noticed that everyone has given you perfect advice and you shot them down each and every time. You have a "can't" for every "can", and a "don't" for every "do."Self-defeat is curable. It requires a change of attitude. I don't care if you read this or not. I don't care if you have a rebuttal to my comments. I have been young and I have had my awkward moments in life. What I didn't experience, I saw happening to other people. Therefore, I learned things. I looked outside of me! It's not all about "me..me..me!!!" It's us! We all share pain and suffering on this earth together. Beyond just being ugly on the outside. How do you look inside, young man? Are you nice to people, respectful to your parents, do you care about anyone? Do you care what happens to people? Millions of teens are going through what you are right now. It's not a curse. It's part of growing up. A phase in physical development. It will pass.Change your attitude. Your negativity and self-hating attitude. You are young and have a lot to look forward to!The best thing is, all the wonder that comes before it!The good thing is, nothing is certain about your looks, and anything can happen. That's wonderful if you think about it.Everyone can't be wrong. You may never be beautiful. There is more to what you see in a mirror, than your image looking back at you. There is a person and personality behind it. You have concentrated very hard on how to hate yourself. You haven't given one moment to see what is good "in" you. What is loveable apart from what people see on the surface? Take a break from hate, dude! Love your acne scars, as opposed to burned disfigurement. You have eyes that can see. You have a face, although you have some pimples. That all may change someday. No one can guarantee it will be to your satisfaction; but age changes us all. For better or for worse. You have to live with it regardless. That's the lesson you're missing.You can workout and shape your body to your own specifications. Genetics has the first and last word, and you're going to have to live with what nature has dealt you; no matter how many suggestions you get from this post.Maybe someday you'll seek plastic surgery. It all depends on your attitude if that will make you happy.You are not ugly. You are different. You have some imperfections that you hate, and you want them to go away.In time they will, but you will still be left with scars in your heart from hating who you are now. You're living in the present and need to make the best of being young. It's not all that bad. You don't have aches and pains, and a bunch of wrinkles. That's a long time off.Sorry to be so tough. You asked for help, but fought it all.Kicked it back in the face of people who understand and care about how you feel. That's not right. You are going to be okay. Words can only help to a point. Then the rest depends on what you want to believe.You are young and a very sensitive guy. It hurts you to not know what the future holds. Well, work on what you can now.Eat good. Work out. I suggested shaving off the hair, if you don't like it. Do the best you can with the acne, until you grow out of it. You will always produce hormones that trigger acne all your life. Just not as much. Diet has a lot to do with it. Find out from your doctor what you may be eating that effects your skin. No matter what we tell you. You have to change your attitude and like who you are NOW! You may never like your looks. Then what? Ignore me. That's okay. This advice will help someone like you, or worse off than you. There are people worse off. Maybe you do not care. That will make you feel isolated and alone. You are not; because everyone, including myself, care enough about you, to hope we can make you feel better about you today!
...............................
A
female
reader, shna  +, writes (20 November 2013):
 Yea but what is your diet like? Drinking water should be a huge part of your diet! It helps clear acne and bring out healthy nutrients in the oils needed to produce healthy looking hair ! Take a look at your diet! Are u drinking fizzy drinks eating sugary unhealthy foods? You should be taking in a lot of fruit and veg and things like milk for healthy skin bones and teeth !! You cant blame everything on puberty maybe you need a change in healthy eating or a change in your life style !! If your acnes bad go to a doctor to get a prescription to help clear your skin !! Go to health shops and get vitamin supplements to help with healthy hair skin and nails ! Also ... Maybe you could need a haircut if its frizzy its probably to long and you dont have the time to manage it ! If you were shampooing conditioning and straightening your hair it wouldn't be frizzy !! Remember people have different types of hair !!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2013): From when I was 8 years old to about 12 years old I was so ugly. Cause I got really really fat. I was picked on and made fun of all the time. It was awful. I used to fantasize about being beautiful and desired. I often lived in kind of a fantasy world, (like the movie Precious), believing I was beautiful and popular because reality was too harsh to face. When I was 11, I went on a diet and by the time I was 12 I shed all of the fat. When I went back to school that year, my life completely changed. Suddenly I was popular and boys were talking to me and asking me out all the time. It was so weird! And I got my confidence back. And it was so fun. I kept the weight off ever since. But up until I shed all that extra carnage, I had no idea I was pretty. To be where you want to be you have to put in the work. For me dieting wasn't easy but I was diligent because I knew the results would be so sweet. As for you, Im positive the acne will go away. Wash your face twice a day. And buy some special treatment for the acne. See a dermatologist if you have to. They will give you potent stuff that will clear it right up. As for your hair, if you have the right hairstyle, dry frizzy hair can look rad. I know lots of guys with dry frizzy hair who look awesome. Be creative, grow it out and make a fro. Im going to name some stars with dry frizzy hair so you can get ideas: James Franco, Seth Rogen, Justin Timberlake...they all work it just fine. See? So hang in there. And above all, do something about it. If you want something bad enough all you gotta do is put in the work for it. Good luck to you!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2013): this can all change tomorrow if you wanted it to! get some acne treatment, condition your hair (I find washing my hair with baby shampoo also helps) google tips on how to become more confident and how to stop caring about what people think. People don't 'become' good looking by waiting for it to happen, they become good looking by changing what they don't like about themselves and working at their appearance.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2013): I think teens are predisposition-ed to lack confidence and think they are not attractive when they are young. AS they grow so does their confidence and self assuredness.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@iamheretohelpyou- It's definitely part of the problem. No matter how much conditioner i put in my hair, it's still frizzy. No matter how much i clean my face, the acne comes back. So it's definitely hormones. I take care of myself to the best of my ability so you're wrong
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (20 November 2013):
 Reply to both re-submittals from OP:
1. Puberty ends - and the hormones die down - when you are laid to rest in your grave...
2. How much can someone change????? Think "Howdy Doody"... then "Tom Sellick".... and that is me!!!!!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhen does puberty end for guys and when do their hormones die down?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@sageoldguy- Sure. I'm curious to see how much someone can change from their teen years
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (20 November 2013):
I was kind of clunky when I was a kid (teen)... but NOW!!!!
I am an Adonis!!!! (Want to see my pictures??????)
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (20 November 2013):
 weird facial structure - can't be changed, but you can certainly "grow into it"
acne - can be fixed, visit your derm for a tretinoin cream to use at night and an AHA cream to use in the morning
dry frizzy hair - Use a good deep conditioner and start taking care of your hair.
and am SO socially awkward - see a therapist to discuss your options for how to work on this
...............................
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (20 November 2013):
 What exactly is the problem OP? The acne can be treated, have you visited the doctor? Dry frizzy hair needs good conditioning and as for the social awkwardness, you just have to help yourself there. Go out, meet new people, make friends, adopt a pet if you can and if not, volunteer at the local shelter. You know, your face reflects your state of mind and if you're stressed and unhappy, it reflects on your face. Give it some time, I'm sure it will get better. Not miraculously overnight but yes, it will get better soon.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2013): The most difficult advice to offer people, is advice regarding their appearance. Yes, there are awkward years of growth and development. There are also things about us that we may not know how to refine until we are older, and see the final results of our maturity. There are things we can physically change. Things we can't. If your mind has distorted things, nothing works.The answers you will receive will only be words of encouragement. Only nature and genetics will determine how you will look when you're in your twenties.I mentioned in an earlier post how my body was very slim and feminine-looking when I was in high school. I had a squeak in my voice that I was teased about. I wore long hair, but was teased; because guys called me "pretty." I was very shy and kept very much to myself. I was a good student, and I concentrated on making good grades. I made some very good friends in spite of it all. I had big brothers who did step in when necessary. I didn't always run home crying to them. I was never taught life owed me anything.I joined the military, and they put you through a very vigorous physical regimen,and work very hard on boosting your self-confidence. My body changed. Big time! I developed a very impressive physique. The strenuous workouts brought out the best in me. They pushed my brain to the limits. I also attended a military college, that kept up the physical and mental discipline, we called "basic training." The term is an understatement, and quite misleading. When I returned home, people didn't recognize me.My looks became unimportant. Character, discipline,fitness, honor, and academic achievement was what became my goal.Get an education. Strengthen and develop your mind and body. Become a strong and honorable man. Then appearance will become very insignificant. The side-effects will be self-confidence, fitness, and females will be very attracted. Acne can be controlled, and if you don't like your hair, shave it close to your scalp.No one can promise you will look like a move-star, but you can change and develop your body with exercise, your mind with an education, and your attitude; by learning to love yourself as nature created you. There is always hope, young man.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot for the answers everyone. It gave me hope to here that from you guys.
How much longer will i have to wait though? At 19 shouldn't it be right around the corner?
...............................
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (20 November 2013):
Well that too OP. People do change in the way they look from high school to their late 20s'. Talking purely about looks that changed, I would say that its absolutely possible to transform. Puberty does sometimes play nasty tricks on you but rest assured, when you grow older, you'll look and feel much better. Trust me.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@Anonymous123- I wasn't really talking about looks changing based on your decision. I'm talking about physical characteristics brought on by puberty.
I heard sometimes puberty makes people ugly in their teens and after puberty ends they look really good again. I don't mean pre-teens. I'm talking about from like high school age to your late teens/early twenties.
...............................
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (20 November 2013):
I wouldn't really say ugly because I don't like that word, but my younger brother was certainly overweight. So much so that he could balance a plate on his tummy!! He too was immensely socially awkward and avoided any social event that he could. Until one day when he realized that enough was enough. He was sick of people making fun of him, he was sick of the way he was conducting himself, he was sick of it all.
He cut down on food, on fizzy drinks, he started taking care of his looks...you could say that he just determined to become a changed person. Today, he's 22 years old, an absolute stunner who looks like a movie star, he's going to become an engineer soon and has already bagged a job offer in a great place.
So yeah...maybe its just an awkward stage for you and all I can say is that if my brother can do it, you can too!
...............................
A
female
reader, shna +, writes (20 November 2013):
Guys get looking as they get older
Guys age beautifully
They actually get better looking with age
Your not going to have acne and frizzy hair forever remember that !!
Trust me your days of becoming a ladys man / man whore are right around the cornor !
...............................
A
male
reader, M Proops  +, writes (20 November 2013):
Sounds like your hormones are raging at the moment.This'll die down eventually and spots etc. will be a thing of the past.Most men have these problems when being a teenager,it's life.I knew several girls at school who weren't lookers and you would not have looked at them twice but turned out stunners.
...............................
|
