| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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After a month boyfriend wants to have sex but I don't think I'm ready yet
Q. Ok, i have known my boyfriend for a month now he wants to have sex in a way i do too but then i realize im not ready. What should i do?...
A. 26 July 2013: Tell him! Is he pressuring you into it? There's no reason to rush into it if you're not ready.... (read in full...)
I don't want to pay off boyfriends debts. How do I teach him to be more responsible?
Q. He's 21, and i'm 20. We've been together for 10 months now, and we're serious and in love. However, we're having money issues that are putting a strain on our relationship.. He has ADHD (not taking meds), is very irresponsible, and LOVES to spe...
A. 25 July 2013: DO NOT pay his debts, I cannot even believe he is asking you that!!!! You've been together 10 months, that is not even close to long enough for you to be helping him with his finances. Not to mention he has proven himself to be completely useless at ... (read in full...)
Can I get an hpv virus and pass it off to my wife if I have never had sex with anyone else?
Q. we were married in 75, and in 82 my wife had a rapid weight loss issue that prompted her to go to her dr. he found beginning stages of cancer on her cervix and had to remove them. she never mentioned how she got it but now we know about hpv. is ...
A. 25 July 2013: If either of you ever did anything like fingering, hand jobs, oral sex, dry humping without clothing or with very minimal clothing, it's possible to get that way.... (read in full...)
Can I get an hpv virus and pass it off to my wife if I have never had sex with anyone else?
Q. we were married in 75, and in 82 my wife had a rapid weight loss issue that prompted her to go to her dr. he found beginning stages of cancer on her cervix and had to remove them. she never mentioned how she got it but now we know about hpv. is ...
A. 25 July 2013: Virtually all cervical cancer is caused by HPV. However, you can get HPV without having sex, such as hand to genital contact or something like rubbing or touching, if either of you had done that. HPV can take many, many, many years to cause problems ... (read in full...)
I've never been able to achieve orgasm through penetration.
Q. Hi, I need some helpful advice please??! Here's the low down... I've been sexually active for 12 years now and have never had an orgasm via penetrative sex. Oral and hands I'm fine with... I can reach clitoral orgasms just fine ( thank...
A. 21 July 2013: You're cheating yourself because when you fake it, you are denying yourself the opportunity to have a good sex life. He thinks he's getting you off, so he has no incentive to go farther and learn what you actually like, meanwhile you are left ... (read in full...)
Amazing passion with my sexy neighbour, then the ex pops up again
Q. Hi I desperately need some advice as in a real mess ! I dated Jon three years ago for about a year. I totally fell in love with him but became frustrated that he seemed to lack interest in me and the relationship seemed very one sided. He broke up ...
A. 20 July 2013: This ex sounds like a real charmer, don't fall for it. Things will never work with him and any guy who butts in and immediately talks about getting your pregnant (!)? He is clearly out to control and manipulate you, STAY AWAY. See where things go ... (read in full...)
Low libido due to medication. Is there anything I can do?
Q. Hi everyone. I take medication for depression and anxiety. It's not really an option to come off them at the moment. The problem is it more or less completely suppresses my sex drive. I'm still interested in women and sex, and I think if I had a...
A. 20 July 2013: Talk to your doctor about the possibility of adding in wellbutrin, it can help some people on those types of medications.
Otherwise you need to be sure to be working with a therapist to get to the root of your anxiety and treat it from both sid... (read in full...)
I've never been able to achieve orgasm through penetration.
Q. Hi, I need some helpful advice please??! Here's the low down... I've been sexually active for 12 years now and have never had an orgasm via penetrative sex. Oral and hands I'm fine with... I can reach clitoral orgasms just fine ( thank...
A. 20 July 2013: First thing, you should really stop faking. I cannot really grasp why so many women fake orgasms. All you're doing is cheating yourself out of a fulfilling sex life. It is a no win situation for everyone. How can he ever hope to learn what gets you ... (read in full...)
Advice for a untidy boyfriend!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years, lived together for a year. We are both social extroverts with a passion for new adventures and life. Where were very different is cleaning and tidyness, with me spending much more time doing ...
A. 20 July 2013: Two things. One, make a chore wheel. It may seem juvenile, but he's acting juvenile. So make a chore wheel of things that need to be done weekly and monthly. Don't let him take all the "rewarding" things like cooking leaving you with the crappy ... (read in full...)
He woke me up and used the "two minute blow-up doll" method.
Q. So Im really mad right now. My husband and I dont have sex often ( maybe twice a week if that- NOT by my choice ( he gets mad if I complain or ask for 3-4 times a week.) So its almost 4 am. He woke me up around three ready to go. I was sound asleep ...
A. 20 July 2013: Basically what it comes down to is that your husband is being selfish. Unfortunately there is no special trick you can do to fix it. It all comes down to whether or not he is willing to work on this issue or not. If he isn't willing, there really ... (read in full...)
He woke me up and used the "two minute blow-up doll" method.
Q. So Im really mad right now. My husband and I dont have sex often ( maybe twice a week if that- NOT by my choice ( he gets mad if I complain or ask for 3-4 times a week.) So its almost 4 am. He woke me up around three ready to go. I was sound asleep ...
A. 19 July 2013: You need to sit him down and let him know how serious this is for you and have a real discussion about it. Your needs are being ignored but he's using you to meet his. It's completely one sided. If you can afford it I would suggest couples therapy.... (read in full...)
Girlfriend takes medication for depression and is no longer into sex
Q. just a quick question. my girlfriend is on zoloft for depression and it's really effecting her sex drive. before the medication, our sex was incredible. it was all the time and extremely good! now she's not interested in sex, and when we have it, ...
A. 18 July 2013: To clarify, Wellbutrin is often used in addition to her Zoloft, rather than instead of.... (read in full...)
Girlfriend takes medication for depression and is no longer into sex
Q. just a quick question. my girlfriend is on zoloft for depression and it's really effecting her sex drive. before the medication, our sex was incredible. it was all the time and extremely good! now she's not interested in sex, and when we have it, ...
A. 18 July 2013: I know quite a few people on that who take Wellbutrin to counteract it. They've all had good results and she should talk to her doctor about that and other options. Most of the people I talked to didn't have good luck switching to another SSRI.... (read in full...)
Was this discrimination? Should we make a complaint?
Q. I'm a student about to turn 23 and heading into final year of college along with most of my close friends and we are currently looking for accomodation to live in close to college for the academic year. I have a physical disability and I cant walk ...
A. 18 July 2013: I'm not sure why you think this is a case of discrimination at all, it sounds like normal housing issues. Finding housing is hard and I don't know a single landlord anywhere who would lease their property to someone they'd never met. Given the ... (read in full...)
I'm four months pregnant and I've just discovered my boyfriend's excessive porn use, much of which involves extreme stuff
Q. Yesterday I used my boyfriend's ipad (with his permission) and came across a search for a porn site. When I clicked on his history to see more, I saw that he watches porn (alot of it) every single day. There were at least 50 links per day, and ...
A. 18 July 2013: I have a collection of links on this subject that I compiled for this site, please look through them as I believe they may help you:
http://www.upworthy.com/this-is-what-happens-when-kids-grow-up-on-unlimited-access-to-pornography?
http:... (read in full...)
Love is just something I really want to have, but it seems that it works out for everyone else except me.
Q. I am turning 21 and I have never kissed a girl. I think about this all the time, and it makes me really uncomfortable. I am literally the only one among my friends/people my age I've met, and I feel isolated. People tell me I'm a great guy and girls ...
A. 18 July 2013: No one falls in love by "waiting." It doesn't just fall from the sky! I agree with Chigirl, it's very premature to be worried it will never happen when you've only asked out 2 women. Rejection is just part of the dating process. It happens to ... (read in full...)
I think I'm gay, but people can't just turn gay over the years, can they?
Q. Dear agony aunts, I think I'm gay, I'm 23 and for years I have been having gay thoughts and fantasies which arouses me and sometimes I can't help but mastubate to them but then I feel wrong somehow. I used to have a few girlfriends when I was ...
A. 18 July 2013: No you can't "turn gay" but it sounds like you could be. Why not sign up for the site and experiment a bit? Just be safe and upfront with your intentions. Human sexuality is not totally black and white, gay or not gay, there is a spectrum. I know ... (read in full...)
Unresolvable boyfriend: should I wait and see if he comes back or shall I forget him once and for all?
Q. I returned to my ex at the beginning of this year after being separated for 13 years, we were in our late teens and he was my first boyfriend and back then too many people got involved in our relationship. We never stopped loving each other and ...
A. 18 July 2013: This relationship is FAR too much drama to be worth it. Sounds like not much has really changed since he was a teen. Adults do not get together and break up over, rinse and repeat. This has been going on for months now it sounds like, it's just not ... (read in full...)
When you squirt does it smell like pee?
Q. I think I just learned how to squirt I empty my bladder nd I had the feeling of Peeing nd I let go so I squirted bt it still smells alittle like pee so I got up and went to the bathroom to see if I needed to pee more bt I don't so is that pee or is ...
A. 15 July 2013: Actually I have to disagree with youwish on this one, female ejaculation does seem to come from the skene gland but goes through the urethra, not the vagina. Most studies have found small amounts of the chemicals in urine in ejaculate. It is normal ... (read in full...)
Can one be a nymphomanic without being promiscuous?
Q. Is it possible for someone to be obsessed with all things sexual without being a nymphomaniac? I was very curious about sex from an early age.... which I am ashamed to elaborate on. Let's just say I would watch films on the television (soft...
A. 15 July 2013: That's a bit like asking if you can be addicted to cocaine without actually using it, because you think about using it a lot. Nothing you have described sounds out of the norm. You sound like your interest in sex came on at a normal age and it ... (read in full...)
He still looks at naked pics of his ex
Q. Can I still date the guy or pursue a marriage while he is still curious about his ex girlfriend and look for her online and look at her naked photos? Is this normal for a guy? ...
A. 13 July 2013: No that's not OK in a relationship. He's definitely not over her, don't settle for being second best.... (read in full...)
For the men who use porn, why don't you think of your girlfriend when masturbating?
Q. I'm not sure if this has been asked before but here goes those men who use porn when they have a girlfriend, why don't you think of your girlfriend when masturbating? Surely you find them the most attractive so what's it all about, we need this ...
A. 12 July 2013: It's because our brains (male and female) are wired for novelty. It isn't because they are more attractive it's because novelty gives a "high" feeling. This article will explain better:
http://yourbrainonporn.com/doing-what-you-evolved-to-do... (read in full...)
Do you think if you are on the fence about having kids then you shouldn't have them?
Q. I am 31. When I think of my future as a childless person I feel an immense feeling of relief and excitement. But, I like kids. The thought of having one with me 24/7 makes me feel heavy and closed in. I am also well aware that parenting NEVER ends. ...
A. 12 July 2013: It sounds to me like you don't want them, though it's of course impossible to know as I am not you! What are the reasons you personally would want them? It doesn't sound on the fence to me here, as you only listed why you do not want them. That's ... (read in full...)
Do we just need perseverance to be able to have sex?
Q. Hi I'm a 24 year old male who had been in a long term relationship for three years and then ended it fairly recently. I am now seeing someone else who is 23 and a virgin. I've had sex with a few girls before but never with someone who was a virgin...
A. 12 July 2013: It sounds like she's not aroused enough for it to work and/or is too tense. The reason it tends to get easier is because a) it's less scary and she's less likely to tense up and b) she knows where she needs to be arousal-wise for it to be ... (read in full...)
How to help my depressed boyfriend and our sex life?
Q. My boyfriend of 8 months has depression and erectile dysfunction. He had problems with erectile dysfunction that was quite mild our whole relationship but we still had a good sex life. But now that hes depressed as well, he never wants to have sex ...
A. 11 July 2013: It sounds like a possible porn addiction, check this site for more information. This has nothing to do with you, it is addictive and he needs help to stop.
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com... (read in full...)
I don`t want to cheat but I`d like some affection from my friend
Q. Ok heres the dilema, I'm married and have 2 kids. Years ago I met a guy who totally blew my world away, we only saw each other for a short time and were never intimate sexually. I had to break it off because my ex wanted me back in my life and ...
A. 11 July 2013: You are proposing having an affair here. Cuddling, kissing, etc... that's all cheating. If you're not planning to tell your husband? Cheating. This isn't the answer to your problem. If you are unhappy with your marriage you either need to fix it or ... (read in full...)
He goes MIA to watch porn, or go to a strip club. I'm feeling very deflated. Should I stay?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 7 months and dated for 5 years. Recently our sex life has been few and far between. I am a very sexual person and would have sex everyday if he was in to it. He denies me sex but has no problem watching ...
A. 10 July 2013: Classic porn addict behavior. Loss of sex drive and literally being unable to make a 30 minute drive without having to stop to use porn? That's addict behavior. He needs to seek help before he gets caught doing this in a public place or caught at ... (read in full...)
Should I be giving up my best friend just because I have feelings for him? He said he's happy to stop having sex, but doesn't wanna lose me as a mate?
Q. I have fallen for someone I can't have, but I knew that when we started and now its too late. I met this guy about 9 months ago, we clicked immediately, he had a gf but decided to sleep with me.. I knew it was wrong but he said it was just a bit of...
A. 10 July 2013: Sorry to tell you this but you have been played. This guy is just using you for sex, nothing more. There is nothing more to it. If he was going to leave his girlfriend he would have by now. Yes there's always some kind of excuse, she's crazy, she's ... (read in full...)
Am I shallow for thinking that the cosmetic surgery took something away?
Q. There's this girl that I used to date, she was so beautiful and now she's had a nose job. Nothing drastic, she just got rid of the bump on her nose to have it straightened and had the tip raised a bit. It looks really good, if I didn't know her ...
A. 10 July 2013: I think it's a little odd. I mean, yes there are different levels, but things like makeup and hair dye and everything are all fake too. Do those bug you? It sounds like she was insecure about her nose for a long time and now that she's changed it, ... (read in full...)
How old were you when you kissed someone?
Q. just asking, how old where you when you kissed somebody or anybody?????...
A. 9 July 2013: 13 I think but it was just a tiny peck. I didn't have a "real" kiss until 14 or 15.... (read in full...)
I resent my boyfriend for what he said and I don't feel as if he should "benefit" from the relationship in that case!
Q. Hi everyone. My question is about my boyfriend of 3 years, he is 8 years older and has 2 kids. He does not want more and told me he would never have chidren with me. I was not sure what I wanted, but have now decided I don't want to have kids. So ...
A. 8 July 2013: I am very confused on what you are resenting him for. He is done having kids, you don't want kids, everything sounds good? Has he done something wrong here?... (read in full...)
He has funny marks on his face that he says came from playing basketball. Is he cheating?
Q. So here is my story; In the beginning of June my boyfriend broke his phone, he has been jobless and his parents have kicked him out quite a few times, and also his car broke down. So basically we haven't really talked, and when we do its every other ...
A. 8 July 2013: This relationship is SO much more drama than it's worth. The guy isn't interested and is playing you. If he wanted to see you, he would. Making a laundry list of weird excuses is just that, excuses. I know people who find a way to see each other ... (read in full...)
Has anyone suffered anxiety attacks and over came them?
Q. Is there anybody that suffers with anxiety attacks and if so how did you over come them? I don't know why I started getting them although I think it could be related to a male friend of mine who keeps texting me and showing interest the las...
A. 8 July 2013: First, you need to get this guy out of your life. Block him on facebook, block him from phone, block this gf too. Get them out of your life. That could take care if it. If not see my next answer:
"Im not interested in going to a therapis... (read in full...)
Our son is confused about his sexuality. How can we help him?
Q. We live in Stockport, in Greater Manchester, and have a 20 year old son. He told us last night he was confused about himself sexually. Not professionally. He's enjoying his university studies in business systems and marketing - wants to go into PR ...
A. 5 July 2013: The best thing you can do is just make sure he knows you love and support him no matter what his sexual orientation, and if he wants to talk about it, you're there. Otherwise it's something he'll figure out on his own, with time. Just being ... (read in full...)
Should I be glad to have a good friend as a partner but not a lover?
Q. I feel so sad. I feel like I lost something. My partner of 4 yrs just does not make love to me anymore. He says it hurts him when he tries but does not bother or care about my needs. He went to Dr and said he can't take pills because of side ...
A. 5 July 2013: You shouldn't marry him. If you wanted a friend, you would invite your friend to move in with you. Sex is a huge part of a relationship, you shouldn't have to simply give up on it. Basically in marrying him what you are saying is that you are ... (read in full...)
Why do people think that women are more emotional in relationships, more clingy, needy and attached after sex?
Q. Why do people think that women are more emotional in relationships, more clingy, needy and attached after sex? Why do women have this stereotype when so often I see men becoming engrossed with their female partners after a sexual relationship has ...
A. 5 July 2013: It's called sexism.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend dumped my because I wouldn't add her as a friend on Facebook.
Q. My Girlfriend dumped me because I wouldn't add her as my friend on Facebook. I don't understand what everyone's obsession over Facebook is. I like to keep my private life private. I think she is just too jealous. I don't feel I should have to add ...
A. 4 July 2013: Maybe a bit, but you're also being very VERY secretive here. I mean she's asking to be your facebook friend, not search your belongings. You said yourself "I like to keep my private life private." A girlfriend IS your private life. I would have ... (read in full...)
Lost my virginity months ago and still bleed every time I have sex
Q. i had just lost my virginity on valentines and everytime we have had sex i have bleed im worried and dont know what to do ...
A. 4 July 2013: You should see a doctor, that's not normal. Is it painful? Are you fully aroused? Getting foreplay?... (read in full...)
I've accepted that he needs time for full on sex, but I still want him to go down on me at least.
Q. How can I get my boyfriend to give me oral sex? He's a virgin and I have accepted that he wants to wait and is too scared to have sex. I will wait for him to make the move to full intercourse. But in our sexual contact everything seems one sided - ...
A. 4 July 2013: I think it might be time for some "tough love." I.e. you take before you give. Maybe he's uneasy going down on you for now, OK, why not use his fingers? If you've been giving him blowjobs, it's about time he gave you SOMETHING in return because you ... (read in full...)
Will I be judged for my not perfect body in a bikini?
Q. I'm looking for opinions here. What do men think when they see a woman wearing a bikini who is not that skinny, and does not have big boobs? Do you look at her and think "gross", or do you respect her for still having the confidence to we...
A. 4 July 2013: What percentage of people would you say have the perfect bikini body. 1%? 5%? We can't all look like Miranda Kerr! You sound like you have a great body. You know what? Most guys I've met love a little squishiness around their ladies' stomachs. I am ... (read in full...)
Wife don't have a job and doesn't like to cook or clean the house.
Q. I've dated my wife for almost 10 years before we got married for 5 years, ever since I met her she never have a job. Reason I like about her was she was very old school like my mom and I thought she would make a great mom one day and she's very ...
A. 3 July 2013: I am not normally a fan of ultimatums, but it might be time for one. That she gets a job or picks up the slack around the house, or you need a divorce.
I agree with SVC, someone who is that much of a shut in may have some kind of social anxiety ... (read in full...)
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