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Is it normal for someone 50 to ask their parent if its ok to take a bath?

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Question - (20 November 2011) 13 Answers - (Newest, 21 November 2011)
A female Philippines age 30-35, anonymous writes:

do you think its normal asking your parent that you will take a bath at the age of 50?someoene i know ask this question everytime want to take a bath in the night. i find it so weird? for me its wrong because personal hygiene.. why ask other people. maybe if its term of money its reasonable. Wht do you think?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (21 November 2011):

Honeypie agony auntShe does it because THAT is how she has been raised. I see nothing wrong in it whatso ever.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (21 November 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI have a house with FOUR bathrooms... and only two people... we still ASK and coordinate when we take a shower... it uses up the hot water and if one of us showers the other has to wait.

or if I'm doing laundry or washing the dishes the other should wait to have the full complement of hot water...

In addition even if I am in the lower level of the house I can tell when he is showering I hear the pipes and it's a bit noisy...

It really sounds to me like it's just your friend being considerate of others in a shared environment

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (21 November 2011):

CindyCares agony aunt OP, why this is so strange to you , when you live with somebody else, you don't have the run of the house at your leasure, it's normal.

I often stay at my mother's, and she has two bathrooms - but only one with a bathtub , and it's the one where she keeps her make up, brushes, medicines etc. Any time that I know am going to occupy that bathroom for more than few minutes ,I tell her first.So, in case she may need to take something from the bathroom, she may do it before I occupy it.

Sure, it's unlikely she may need her comb or her lipstick all of a sudden at,say, 11 p.m., but asking first is polite and does not cost anything .

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (21 November 2011):

Miamine agony auntYou ever seen jokes about selfish teenagers who spend hours in the bathroom and don't care about the fact that other people need to use it.

It may be news for you, but at 70+ people still need to use the bathroom, and it's the only bathroom in the house. It might be night, but 70+ people still need the toilet, even more than young people do. Yes your hygiene is important, but so is respect and thoughtfulness to other people. I find it weird that you can't understand that when you share the only bathroom in the house (that belongs to someone else - the parents) it's only polite and respectable to tell them when your going to have a bath, which takes longer than using a shower.

Also I find it weird, that hygiene to you is so secretive, and not something you can even mention in passing, even with your own parents. But probably you have your own bathroom, and have never experienced sharing. It's a good lesson to learn. Maybe when you have to share with other people, or you have a family and kids of your own, you will find that if you don't say when your having a bath, people will think you are selfish.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (21 November 2011):

CindyCares agony auntStill just normal and polite. She is not asking her parent's permission to WASH herself,- she is making sure that she can occupy a common ,shared space for a certain length of time without inconveniencing the person(s) she lives with. She can't be 100% sure that nobody EVER will need the bathroom at night, it's not as if they have solemnly sworn to only use the bathroom at daytime .

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Yeah they only have one bath room but at night no one is using it so she is free to used it.. and no one will bother about the noise because the room is a little bit far do you think its still considerable for asking permission.. actually she is living with her parent who is at 70 + so i find it very weird to ask your personal hygiene knowing that no one will used the bathroom at the hour...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2011):

People in our house ask permission because we only have one bathroom, so by saying that they are giving everyone a chance to use the bathroom first, and to warn people not to come in while they are bathing. I don't think it is a big deal, but maybe if you've noticed he doesn't do anything at all without clearing it with his parents first, like going out, spending money, etc, then maybe there could be an issue there.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (20 November 2011):

Honeypie agony auntIf there is only one bathroom and it's not his/her house, I think it's the right thing to do.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (20 November 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntdo they live with their parents? and share a hot water tank?

yeppers it's a polite thing to do.

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A female reader, HippyChick United Kingdom +, writes (20 November 2011):

HippyChick agony auntI have to ask, are you phoning your parent up and asking for permission, to have a bath in your own home?

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (20 November 2011):

Miamine agony auntAlso if there are several people in the house, the hot water might run out. This 50year old is very polite and thinks of other people.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (20 November 2011):

CindyCares agony aunt That if they have only one bathroom, it is mandatory.

And if it is night, the sound of water running / splashing may bother people who is resting / sleeping / watching TV..., so asking it's just common courtesy. It has got nothing to do with AGE, just with being civil.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (20 November 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntWell if this person is staying in there parents home well then it is just common courtesy to ask if it is OK, as it is there house and it shows she respects her parents no matter what her age.

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