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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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My married lover has moved on to another girl and I am so hurt, what should I do now?
Q. I have been cheated by my married Lover, he has moved on to a "new girl"(another victim).he has completely removed me from his life,We both are in the same office, spend 8 hrs together, sitting besides each other, but we dont speak at all. he cut ...
A. 1 November 2012: You cant tell his wife, chances are she wouldnt believe you even if you told her. You would just come across as a jealous crazy woman obsessed with her husband, and her husband is obviously a brilliant liar so he will tell her something along the ... (read in full...)
We've been fighting and he's texting someone late at night. Plus he says we're "on a break'. Should we stay together?
Q. My boyfriend and I are on a break. However we are still living together, it's awkward. We have been fighting a lot, especially in the last few months, and we have only been together for 8 months, living together for 6. Tensions were high and I ...
A. 16 October 2012: I dont really understand what you are asking here....read this back to yourself:
He said, "broken up, what part of that don't you understand"
I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you the same thing, what part of 'broken up' dont you understand? ... (read in full...)
He's not interested in providing for me if he passes away. Is he being selfish?
Q. Hi I remarried in May this year, we both have grown up kids,I have 4 he has 2, He owns our house,and is buying another house to rent out, we have no life insurance, and Im worried that if he dies before me, I will have nothing,he always said his...
A. 16 October 2012: I can actually understand where your husband is coming from - he is just a father wanting to take care of his kids, and he probbly expects your kids father to take care of your kids.
Sharing a house between 6 children, 4 of which are not his, is ... (read in full...)
And I being selfish wishing to back out of being a bridesmaid? The bride's expectations are too high.
Q. A very rich close friend of mine is getting married in February and has asked me to be one of her bridesmaids. Of course I said yes as I've known her for years but here's the problem, she expects that I will pay for the following: My dress £210, Sh...
A. 16 October 2012: I dont think your being selfish at all - I think she is being completely unreasonable! After all she will know that she didnt have to pay for anything when she was bridesmaid for you, yet she is expecting you to spend a small fortune (if you add it ... (read in full...)
He's getting married, we cheated, and I want to hook up again
Q. Hi everyone! Last Friday I went out with some friends and I ended up going to a hotel with this 31 year old guy who is married... We both knew what we were getting into and agreed that it was just gonna be a couple of hours of fun... We did ha...
A. 16 October 2012: You agreed to (in your words) 'We both knew what we were getting into and agreed that it was just gonna be a couple of hours of fun'
Therefore you KNEW that you cannot see this man again, you knew this was for a couple of hours only and you agre... (read in full...)
GF doesn't like her engagement ring, what do I do?
Q. I recently proposed to my girlfriend who said yes. Our wedding is in March and she just finally told me that she doesn't like her ring because people don't know it's an engagement ring when they see it and it won't match her dress and clothes. It's ...
A. 16 October 2012: I'm really on the fence about this - on the one hand I can see where she is coming from, especially about it not going with all of her clothes, yet on the other hand she really doesnt appreciate all the effort you went to to get her this ring.
... (read in full...)
Is ALMOST cheating, cheating?
Q. Hello, I'm in a very confusing dilemma with my boyfriend at the moment, and I'm afraid to talk to my friends about it because if we do stay together, I don't want them to think badly of him. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relations...
A. 15 October 2012: What he has been doing to you is emotional cheating, and this is just as bad, if not worse, than physical cheating. Often people find it easier to forgive their partner for a drunken one night stand, as it meant nothing.
However forming a connec... (read in full...)
Do I dump him over the attention he's giving his 'back-up women?" I no longer trust him.
Q. My boyfriend is around 10 years older than me and is in a rush to get married because he feels that he is of that age and his family and culture expects that of him. We're of the same culture and I definitely understand that about him but I just c...
A. 15 October 2012: Why do you think you are going to dump him in a few years time?
To be honest it doesnt sound like this relationship is working - you want to leave him in the future and are already thinking about this, and he cares more about getting married ... (read in full...)
Why has this guy cooled off? He said he loved me and still wants to see me.
Q. I'm at a loss. I've been seeing this guy since end of July. He said he loved me after 5 weeks. I was surprised but said it back. For the last month. He hasn't seen me much. Whereas before it was once a week, or once every 4 days. He is busy wit...
A. 12 October 2012: It really doesnt matter where he works - he is not going to be working 24 hours a day even at a hospital, and many people who work in hospitals have perfectly normal realtionships. There is no good reason for him not to see you, if he managed to see ... (read in full...)
Why has this guy cooled off? He said he loved me and still wants to see me.
Q. I'm at a loss. I've been seeing this guy since end of July. He said he loved me after 5 weeks. I was surprised but said it back. For the last month. He hasn't seen me much. Whereas before it was once a week, or once every 4 days. He is busy wit...
A. 12 October 2012: He's just not that into you I'm afraid. He obviously got a bit carried away with himself at first but has now changed his mind, and is letting you down gently by having less contact with you. Some men are just cowards and would prefer to end the ... (read in full...)
How can I put myself out there to find myself a lovely and really great wife ??
Q. Hopefully this isn't too small of a matter to bother you with but regadless if it is well or poorly placed, I have confidence that I could get a relationship started fairly quickly if I could find my girlfriend and hopefully wife but I'm not ...
A. 12 October 2012: You already know what you should do, you just are not doing it yet! Go on a cookery course, if you dont meet someone on that particular course go on another one. Go to Yoga or pilates, you dont need to belong to a particular faith to do that and ... (read in full...)
How do I apologise to him and his Gf? What can I do to keep him in my life as just a friend?
Q. i have a best friend who did a lot for me more than anyone has ever done for me. i lived with him for 7 years and have known him since i was 14. He was the only person who was always there for me through thick and thin and supported me in all of l...
A. 12 October 2012: This is very simple - YOU CANNOT BE FRIENDS WITH AN EX WHEN YOU STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR THAT EX.
If the relationship ended and it was a mutual decision, where both of you agreed it should end and neither of you felt feelings more than friendsh... (read in full...)
Should I let the age difference bother me?
Q. I met a beautiful person and I'm so afraid to let myself go and fall harder for him. i guess im so worried about our age difference, I am 39 but get told that i look 25-28 and he is 23. We been sort of dating and talking for seven months, he ...
A. 11 October 2012: I think you need a serious conversation with him before this goes any further. You have to be realistic that at 39, your chances of having any more children are now fading, so is he ok with not having children of his own? I'm sure aged 23 he wont ... (read in full...)
I have never wishes to be unfaithful to her. But I think I have to leave as she's breaking my heart. I need your advice please, on what to do?
Q. I love my wife but I think I need to make a break as I'm worried that the way I feel could be damaging for both of us. For the past few years she has rejected me so often for sex that I stop making any moves towards her. I like to think I'm rom...
A. 9 October 2012: Have you tried talking to her about this? I mean REALLY talking to her, i.e. it is getting to the point were you are looking at other women and thinking about leaving her? Sometimes when you talk about a lack of intimacy in your relationship, your ... (read in full...)
Will attending college ruin my new relationship?
Q. Hi everyone, thanks in advance for taking the time to read! Now, down to business... I just started dating this guy. We had been sort of at an in between, kind of dating phase for a few weeks and then we finally decided to officially get together...
A. 9 October 2012: You can get hurt in any relationship, regardless of what happens relationships are risky. You are investing your time and emotions into another person so there is always a risk of getting hurt, regardless of where you go or what you do.
If yo... (read in full...)
Should I move in with him when he's been on dating sites plus I'd be living in his ex wife's home?
Q. Hi looking for advice here so it may help me make my mind up before I take the plunge...My partner of over two years has asked me to move in with him.Everything is fine apart from two things is one that I would be moving into the house where him and ...
A. 8 October 2012: As So Very Confused said, if the spam emails are from the SITE itself (like 'xxx singles in your area waiting to meet you' etc) then that is nothing to worry about, online dating sites keep your email address for a very long time as they know people ... (read in full...)
I really like him. Will I eventually have a chance with him? Should I not let him kiss me anymore?
Q. The boy I like just got out of a long relationship. A couple weeks after, I got his number and we would text a lot and stuff. He's kissed me and we've cuddled since then, but today he told me he wasn't looking for anything serious right now. It hurt...
A. 8 October 2012: He is still not over his ex, he needs time to heal and if you are not careful you are just going to be the rebound. He has told you he doesnt want a relationship right now, and there is nothing you can do to make him want one any time soon.
What ... (read in full...)
Will attending college ruin my new relationship?
Q. Hi everyone, thanks in advance for taking the time to read! Now, down to business... I just started dating this guy. We had been sort of at an in between, kind of dating phase for a few weeks and then we finally decided to officially get together...
A. 8 October 2012: You dont know what the future holds, and we cant tell you whether going to College is going to ruin things with this new guy or not.
But at the end of the day, you need to go to college in order to get a good job and have a happy future where yo... (read in full...)
Married man left his wife for me, but then gave it another go with her without telling me! Was I used?
Q. I became friendly with a married man i met on holiday, we started texting when we got back and ended up teting all day and speaking on the phone when we could. He said he has always been unhappy in his marriage and that he never was sure about ...
A. 5 October 2012: Of course you were used, you were just daft enough to believe that he was going to leave his wife for you.
NEVER get involved with a married man, regardless of whether its just 'talking' or not, that is still an emotional affair. If you meet a m... (read in full...)
We broke up and I said things I didn't mean but why did he treat me the way that he did?
Q. Hello, I have broken up with my boyfriend for just over 2 months now. He was 47 and lived with his mother and the relationship was on and off for about 8 months. All together we got back together 4 times, but on this occassion he does not want to ...
A. 3 October 2012: Look, I know you love him but this is not working, any relationship that is only 8 months old yet you have broken up 4 times clearly is not working and never will.
He is obviously hurt by the things you have said, and no amount of apologis... (read in full...)
Is he using me? We never date, just have sex in the woods!
Q. Iv been seeing this guy for 2 months now and we meet up once a week, he seems nice but he never takes me out on a proper date. We only meet up for sex or heavy petting. He doesn't book a room up, we do it in the woods, Im feeling a bit used. He does ...
A. 3 October 2012: Trust your instincts...of course he is using you. If a man was genuinely interested in you he would be taking you out on dates, trying to impress you and get to know you. Not doing it up against a tree in the woods.
I really cant believe a) you a... (read in full...)
Is it too late to follow my heart?
Q. My wife and I split up 10 years ago and the main issue was that I was focusing on my career so much that she felt neglected and finally had enough. From my point of view I was trying to make a good and secure life for us both and for a future ...
A. 1 October 2012: Yes following your heart is a good thing, but only when your heart isnt being totally selfish and forgetting about the most important thing here - HER CHILD.
This isnt just about your ex wife anymore, this little boy currently has mummy and dadd... (read in full...)
Seperated for 3 months, both had sex partners, how do we move on???
Q. I need some serious opinions. I have been with my husband for 6 years. Rocky for last two years...since we got married. A year into the marriage my husband told me he had a one night stand. He told me a million times it was a mistake and he ...
A. 1 October 2012: To be honest I think too much has happened now for you to ever get this marriage back on track. Lets look at what he has done to you:
1. Had a one night stand
2. Claimed to 'regret' said one night stand BUT carries on sexting other women behind y... (read in full...)
My professor almost slipped and called me cute?
Q. My professor called me, well almost let it slip out, that he thinks I'm cute? He was saying some positive things about me and the word cute almost slipped out. I have a crush on him but I'd never do anything with him, My mom says our prior behaviors ...
A. 1 October 2012: I dont really think it matters if he thinks you are cute or not - professors cant date their students, so he would lose his job if he tried to take anything further with you.
Stop flirting with him, stop over-analysing every little thing he says ... (read in full...)
I think I missed my chance to be with this great girl
Q. I have no idea what to do with this girl. We'll call her Jane. I met her through one of my friends and we dated freshman year of highschool, it wasn't a very long relationship, we broke up because we could never see each other (going to different ...
A. 1 October 2012: I think you have missed your chance I'm afraid, she's been with him almost a year now so they must be pretty serious. You have to respect that she is in a relationship now and you dont want to be the kind of guy who goes around stealing other guy's ... (read in full...)
A man 40 years younger than me wants to marry me?
Q. I'm a 62 yr old black female who has a 23 year old black military male who wants to get married. I'm very fit and attractive. We are very compatible, get along great. What should I do?...
A. 1 October 2012: You need to sit down with him and have a serious discussion about the future. Obviously with your age you are no longer going to be able to have children, so he needs to be ok with never having children in his life. He also needs to be ok with the ... (read in full...)
Crush on former teacher is coming back?
Q. So recently my friend shared a video of our former middle school teacher on his facebook and my friend is a few years older than me so he doesn't know about the crush I had on that teacher because he graduated two years before me. Anyway... it's ...
A. 1 October 2012: I dont think this means your crush is coming back, after all it would be almost impossible to have feelings for him again when you dont see him anymore.
I think all that happened is this video reminded you of some feelings you had when you were... (read in full...)
Are looks over rated? Did I throw away a good man because of his looks?
Q. I've never really been in what you would call a proper relationship - i've been on dates but not too much else. I did however have a wonderful bestfriend several years ago, we were more than mere friends (never FWB) but i fought the progression ...
A. 27 September 2012: Well here's my story, so you can judge for yourself:
I met my boyfriend through an online dating site, we talked a lot and then met up for our first date. He only had one picture online so I wasnt sure whether I would fancy him or not, but we c... (read in full...)
Girls love talking to me, but when they see me it all changes! Will it be like this for the rest of my life?
Q. I feel so down its unbelievable. Im a really positive person, even if i have major problems going on I can ignore them and still smile and be positive. But i cant avoid the truth though, i dont seem to ever feel like anyone is attracted to me. Im i...
A. 27 September 2012: A couple of years ago I dated a guy who was about 9 years older than me (I was 23 he was 32), he was what you might call 'ugly' - big nose, skin wasnt great, pretty much completely bald...so no Brad Pitt! But he was a true gentleman, almost from ... (read in full...)
I found out recently that my ex cheated on me far more than I realized. Should I talk to him?
Q. So I was with this guy for 5 years; we didn't work out for certain reasons. And I've moved on, I'm dating someone else who I deeply care about. Recently i hung out with me and my ex's mutual friend and he confided in me that the entire time me and ...
A. 27 September 2012: You've moved on, so there is no point in seeing your ex again and dragging all of this up again.
Instead I think you should channel your anger at your so called friends, they should have told you about this if they truly cared for you so you shou... (read in full...)
Is it odd that I can only contact my BF via facebook?
Q. Is it strange that the only way i can contact/speak to my boyfriend in the evenings is via facebook? We've been together for 4 years. I dont think he is cheating but i dont understand it. When he gets home from work, he puts his phone away and d...
A. 26 September 2012: Yes it is a bit odd! If it was the whole 'wanting to relax after work' thing, then he wouldnt want to go on a computer either. So it is very strange why he will talk to you on a computer, but not through a phone.
Tell him you find it weird an... (read in full...)
How to figure out men in their late 50's?
Q. I've been seeing someone in his late 50's and I have no idea what sort of mind games he is playing. Sometimes when I tell him I miss him, he would reply my text with a smile icon. Sometimes even though he read my "I miss you" text, he wouldn't reply ...
A. 26 September 2012: It sounds like there could be a few things going on here:
1. He doesnt feel the same (i.e. he doesnt feel that he misses you yet) so he doesnt want to reply to those kinds of messages
2. He is afraid of sharing his feelings with you and is reluc... (read in full...)
My married lover has moved on to another girl and I am so hurt, what should I do now?
Q. I have been cheated by my married Lover, he has moved on to a "new girl"(another victim).he has completely removed me from his life,We both are in the same office, spend 8 hrs together, sitting besides each other, but we dont speak at all. he cut ...
A. 26 September 2012: Look - you allowed this to happen. You willingly got involved with a married man, you knew he was just using you because you were 'the other woman', you were never the only woman in his life so you could never be anything more to him than just a bit ... (read in full...)
B/f doesn't feel comfortable having sex at my house!
Q. okay here is my situation, I am 24 and lost my job. I am living with grandma and my dad since they both sold their house and we now live in 3 bedroom apartment. The current situation is my dad is still not fully done with moving from the old house ...
A. 25 September 2012: You cant change your boyfriend I'm afraid, he is simply not as sexually adventurous as you are and there is not a lot you can do about it. My boyfriend would never have sex if there was anyone else in our house, he wont have sex at his parents and ... (read in full...)
How to handle my disrespectful daughter?
Q. Hi all I need some advice on my daughter and I we stay in to it as a child growing up I had no problems out of her soon as she got her period at 14 she started to hate me .Now she is nineteen going out with this young punk he's twenty no job stays ...
A. 25 September 2012: Aged 19 she should start to learn to look after herself - she shouldnt rely on you OR her boyfriend. Has your daughter got a job? Is she going to school/college?
Just because your daughter has a boyfriend you dont like doesnt make her disrespe... (read in full...)
Am I over reacting to the constant texts and calls
Q. Boyfriend constantly texting and calling another woman.... Please help, i have been with my partner for 4years and to be honest it hasnt been easy, after the 1st year he dumped me as he had feelings for a female friend. we got back together a...
A. 21 September 2012: This whole 'first contact' thing is nonsense, if he really loved you and cared about how upset you are over this, he would have already said to her 'this is causing problems in my relationship, please can you cut down the amount you are texting ... (read in full...)
What exactly does 'take a break' mean?
Q. What does "do you want to take a break" mean?? My boyfriend and I are having some ups and downs at the moment, and he asked me this. I don't even know what that entails. ...
A. 21 September 2012: People have different meanings for what a break involves, so you are going to have to ask your boyfriend exactly what he means by this 'break'.
But in general, a break means a (potentially) non-permanent break up. Sort of in between broken u... (read in full...)
Can my long distance relationship with a much older man really work?
Q. Hi Dearcupid, My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now and love each other very much. We have so much fun together, whether it's going out or just enjoying one another's company. The only thing is that we are in differen...
A. 21 September 2012: I think from reading your post, you sound very mature and in your case I think your relationship actually could last. It sounds like you are over the partying stage most 21 year olds go through, and you are more interested in being with your ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend problems involving facebook. What should I do?
Q. It seems facebook is the source of all of our issues :/ I'm really insecure about myself and always end up comparing myself to other girls and my boyfriend and I have talked about this. We live together and he treats me so well, but we do have i...
A. 21 September 2012: Yes you should be upset! As I said before, he is a massive flirt and it is totally inappropriate, joke or not, to be talking to girls in that way.
He sounds like a total creep to be honest, a perv and just one of those nasty guys that likes to... (read in full...)
What are my options if my Bf wants to meet up with his ex?
Q. Hi everyone, Thanks for taking the time to read this. If someone could give me an advice, I would really appreciate it. Ok, after a year of gathering up my pieces from my previous break-up, I found myself again and started becoming serious inv...
A. 20 September 2012: Meeting up with an ex who is 'still in his head' is not a good sign, I think you are on the fast track for getting hurt here.
Talk to him, and tell him exactly what you have told us - that if he is not 100% over her then you would prefer him to e... (read in full...)
After 3 years of a FWB relationship, I broke it off. Did I do the right thing?
Q. I guess what I'm really looking for is affirmation that I did the right thing. I think I did, but it takes one varying opinon to make me reconsider what I did. Anyhow, I've been seeing this guy (not seriously for 3-years). I have dated and "...
A. 20 September 2012: You 100% did the right thing, this has been going on for 3 years and you are just wasting your time.
Learn your lesson - dont get into a FWB if you have feelings for the man that are stronger than a simple friendship. If you like a guy, dont all... (read in full...)
How do you make someone fall back in love with you? There has to be a way!
Q. Lots of people say once the love has gone it can never come back. Yet so many people get back together and even remarry each other after a divorce. So people obviously can fall back in love. My question though, is how? I'm desperate for my husband ...
A. 20 September 2012: In light of your follow up post, I'm afraid I dont think there is much hope for you getting back together I'm afraid. Clearly he has tried many times to come back to you and make the relationship work, but he cant - he has tried his best but it just ... (read in full...)
Am I over reacting to the constant texts and calls
Q. Boyfriend constantly texting and calling another woman.... Please help, i have been with my partner for 4years and to be honest it hasnt been easy, after the 1st year he dumped me as he had feelings for a female friend. we got back together a...
A. 20 September 2012: He can claim all he wants that his feelings for her are in the past, and yes they didnt actually get together - but he still left you with the intention of getting with her, so that is equally as bad. Dont let him off lightly just because they never ... (read in full...)
Am I over reacting to the constant texts and calls
Q. Boyfriend constantly texting and calling another woman.... Please help, i have been with my partner for 4years and to be honest it hasnt been easy, after the 1st year he dumped me as he had feelings for a female friend. we got back together a...
A. 19 September 2012: He dumped you for this woman years ago, so you have every right to be upset about this.
You need to get tough with him - he has to stop talking to her and only see her as part of a group, or you are leaving. Simple as that. There is no need for... (read in full...)
How do you make someone fall back in love with you? There has to be a way!
Q. Lots of people say once the love has gone it can never come back. Yet so many people get back together and even remarry each other after a divorce. So people obviously can fall back in love. My question though, is how? I'm desperate for my husband ...
A. 19 September 2012: I think it all depends on what kind of person your husband is, and why he has left you.
The whole 'I love you but I'm not in love with you' is nonsense, there is no difference between 'love' and 'in love' - you either love that person enough t... (read in full...)
Boyfriend problems involving facebook. What should I do?
Q. It seems facebook is the source of all of our issues :/ I'm really insecure about myself and always end up comparing myself to other girls and my boyfriend and I have talked about this. We live together and he treats me so well, but we do have i...
A. 18 September 2012: Yes you should confront him, regardless of whether she is from the past or not, under no circumstances should he EVER tell a girl she is a good kisser when he is in a relationship with you.
Facebook can be the death of a relationship, and if y... (read in full...)
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