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Crush on former teacher is coming back?

Tagged as: Crushes, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 October 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 1 October 2012)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

So recently my friend shared a video of our former middle school teacher on his facebook and my friend is a few years older than me so he doesn't know about the crush I had on that teacher because he graduated two years before me. Anyway... it's been 3 and a half years since I've seen or spoken to that teacher and I have not thought of him at all during those past years but after I've seen that video...I just felt surprised and shuddered...I have no idea what this feeling means...Could I just be overwhelmed or is it possible that I'm having a crush on that teacher all over again?

I have a healthy relationship with my boyfriend and he knows about me crushing on teachers but I don't want to talk to him about THIS because he'd probably be shocked about it...my former teacher was 31 at the time and I was 12 so there's a HUGE age difference..

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A female reader, Candid Cally United States +, writes (1 October 2012):

Crushes on older men are a normal part of psychosexual development while going through puberty and growing up. Usually, we develop a crush on someone because they have certain traits that we find attractive and would ultimately like our mate to have. It is important that you recognize what traits (physical, and otherwise) you find attractive in a person. Once you know why you are attracted to a person, you can use this information to find your ideal mate later in life.

Many people still experience crushes on people even when they are in devoted relationships with another person. This too, is a completely normal part of being human. The important thing is that you never act on a crush when you are in a relationship. You also never act on a crush when your crush is in a position of authority (like your teacher), is already in a relationship, or it would be illegal (like in the case of your teacher.)

Right now, you are in an age-appropriate relationship with a boy who you care for and he cares about you in return. This is wonderul! Don't let your crush on a teacher get in the way of what you have with your boyfriend. There is a good possibility that your boyfriend has some of the same traits that your crush has, you just may not have noticed them yet.

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (1 October 2012):

k_c100 agony auntI dont think this means your crush is coming back, after all it would be almost impossible to have feelings for him again when you dont see him anymore.

I think all that happened is this video reminded you of some feelings you had when you were younger, and the reminder shocked you a little when you remembered how strongly you used to feel about him. It doesnt mean you still feel that way, it just means you have been reminded of something that you had forgotten about.

Many people have certain songs, places, pictures etc that can bring back vivid memories of people, bringing back all those feelings for that person. Does it mean you still feel that way? No. All it means is you remember how you felt, and remembering is very different to still feeling that way! If you still had a crush on your teacher you would still be thinking about him every day, you wouldnt have been able to have a normal relationship with your boyfriend etc.

Dont worry about it, as you said you are in a good relationship with your boyfriend and you are not going to see this teacher any time soon, so this is all a fuss about nothing really.

I hope this helps and good luck!

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