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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Girls don't find me attractive. Do they prefer the guys who break their hearts and show no respect?
Q. Im 22 years old and cant help it but face the truth and it gets me down. I have always realised I'm not good looking/ attractive. In school, people used to get into relationships all the time, not me, I knew what was wrong girls didn't find me that ...
A. 10 January 2013: Sorry I'm a bit confused - you say you grew up enjoying life with lots of friends, fast expensive car, went to the gym etc.....yet at the end of the post you now claim you have no friends and no money. Which is the truth?
Girls dont want the bad ... (read in full...)
Am I unreasonable to dislike the fact that my B/f' 5 year old son crawls into bed with us every morning, then fidgets, talks, crawls all over us?
Q. A brief question to all you helpful people... I'm in a great new(er) relationship that is fairly serious, and I have just moved in with my boyfriend, although I've been unofficially living with him for three months. My lease just expired, my thin...
A. 10 January 2013: I dont think you would find many kids on earth who dont go into their parents beds in the morning - kids wake up early, and then go pester their parent/s to get them breakfast/put tv on/go out somewhere etc.
IF he was sleeping in bed with you... (read in full...)
Am I thinking too far ahead? Would Western parents accept a large age gap if their daughter married a man 10 years older?
Q. I am in Australia but am not a westerner. I like a girl 10 years younger than me,she is 18 years old. I think she also likes me. But I am not sure.Is it possible because of age different she might be thinking the less possibility of marriage. Does w...
A. 9 January 2013: Well typically 18 year olds are far too young to be thinking about marriage, family, children etc - they are thinking about having fun, partying with their friends, school/university, travelling etc.
So the chances of her wanting to get married ... (read in full...)
Cousin asked me to be her chief bridesmaid but the best man is my ex-boyfriend. I am very uncomfortable about this but don't want to hurt anyone. What should I do?
Q. My cousin is getting married late in the summer and she asked me to be her chief bridesmaid and i said I'd love too. Fast foward a few week later and her husband to be tells her that he wants my ex fiancé to be the best man and she said ok! I'm just ...
A. 9 January 2013: As the others have said, blood is thicker than water so if you are close to your cousin, just suck it up and get on with it.
The groom and your ex have been friends since school, therefore your cousin cant really tell her fiance to change w... (read in full...)
Should I be reading books on how to interact with women or are there other successful strategies? I'm a virgin.
Q. Is it worth reading books like "The Game" by Neil Strauss or similar pick up methods with women? I'm a virgin who has only had one girlfriend. I am going back to college in two weeks and want to be able to get girls interested in me because my co...
A. 9 January 2013: I've not heard of this book so I just googled it, and read the Amazon page for it - this is what came up:
Review
"The funniest book I have read this year." Tony Parsons
That pretty much says it all - this is not a book to be taken seriously, ... (read in full...)
I was OK to sleep with. But he said he could'nt give me what I wanted. How do I cope with this, and the fact he now has a Gf?
Q. Hi everyone. Back in September, I moved into a shared house with three other people. Two of them I didn't know before, but there had always been chemistry between me and this other person. This other person and I have been close ever since we me...
A. 9 January 2013: I dont think moving out would be running away, it would be simply removing yourself from a painful situation.
It seems that you were in a relationship at first, then broke up, and then what happened next was the problem - you thought you were spe... (read in full...)
Am I not good enough for him? I'm pregnant but all he does is talk to his ex. Am I crazy wanting him to leave?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now. I am currently pregnant and since I've gotten pregnant all he does is talk to his exs. I feel like I am not good enough for him and that he is looking for someone else. I don't wanna lose h...
A. 9 January 2013: You havent done anything wrong at all, and please dont listen to his friends saying "men will be men" - not all men are like this! If a man truly loves you and respects you then he would never be talking to other women behind your back, nor would he ... (read in full...)
I'm a mess. What can I do? I've been in love with my Gf for a long time. But I've fallen for a second girl at college and now this second girl is pregnant.
Q. Guys, I'm in a pickle. A very large pickle. I've been dating my very lovely and intelligent girlfriend for six years, since we were 14. Before I continue, I need you all to know that I really, absolutely and unabashedly love my girlfriend with all...
A. 9 January 2013: First of all, you have to realise that you are lying to yourself when you claim you love your girlfriend with all of your heart. If that were true, a simple matter like a beautiful girl would not have been enough to make you cheat. Therefore if you ... (read in full...)
She lost interest in me because I let her pay for her part of the meal on our first date!
Q. I had a situation with a woman I really liked, and need you opinion on this. I 've met this girl in a building that I work at. She works for a different company, and I saw her several times at lunch before we started talking. We just talked for ...
A. 8 January 2013: I'll be honest, I would feel the same as her too! If a guy takes a while to pay for the check, then I would feel forced into offering to pay/contribute, but at that point I would still hope that the guy would say "Dont worry, I'll get it". If he ... (read in full...)
Am I completely ruining my life? Do I need to stop drinking? Get help?
Q. So I've recently been doing a great job at ruining my life. After a horrific break-up with a recent ex, (we'll call him M) I've just managed to make a balls of my life at every open opportunity. After the relationship ended I was feeling quite fr...
A. 7 January 2013: I think you are simply just being a bit over dramatic.
You had 1 bad break up, so instead of doing the right thing and taking some time out, you jumped into another relationship that didnt work out. So here is break up 2, and again you go out a... (read in full...)
How would you define the differences between FWB versus FB relationships?
Q. I'm curious about FWB and FB relationships. What exactly are they? I know what the terms stand for just need to know the differences. In a FWB relationship is there really friendship? In a FB relationship is it just do the deed and leave? ...
A. 4 January 2013: My understanding was that the FWB normally starts with 2 friends who are attracted to each other but dont want a relationship start hooking up and add the 'benefits' part. However if you search 'FWB' on this site you will see that this isnt often ... (read in full...)
Our Families are close. So how do I cut my ex out of my life? He still wants sex.
Q. He told me a couple months ago he was coming to my state to see his father and wanted to see me. This gave me anxiety because he made sex comments on Facebook a few weeks earlier. He has been trying to get to me for years!! We have a very mess...
A. 2 January 2013: We are very clear on that, you dont like him as anything more than a friend, yet he is still trying to get into your knickers. He is not a good guy, he is no friend to you so follow our advice and block him from ever contacting you again.
Frien... (read in full...)
My BF has been messaging another girl for 2 months. What should I do?
Q. So I'm on here because I don't quite know what to do. I just found out yesterday on New Year's Day that my boyfriend has been messaging some girl, trying to get into her knickers for the past 2 months. The girl in question sent me the proof. I'm n...
A. 2 January 2013: So every time you have a bad patch in the future he is going to get bored and emotionally cheat on you?! In an adult relationship when you are going through a bad patch you try and work on it, you DONT under any circumstances start looking at other ... (read in full...)
Does my BF have to wear a condom? I'm on the pill, and neither of us has STIs.
Q. So i've been with my boyfriend for 5 months and we've talked about having sex when I stay at his at end of this month. Thing is, he doesnt want to use a condom. He has been checked and has no std's and neither do I. I'm also on the pill. Is it ok ...
A. 2 January 2013: When were you both checked? Has he slept with anyone else between his last test and meeting you?
If you were going to be 100% safe then technically yes, you should use a condom as well as the pill. But if you have both been tested recently... (read in full...)
I am attractive to men so why don't they ever approach me?
Q. Please don't take this in a wrong way and call me conceited and superficial,I'm putting the problem as it is.. I am 23 year old woman, and by god's grace I have the charm, personality, the beauty.. I can walk into a room and have men look at me, ...
A. 2 January 2013: Sorry if this comes across as harsh but when you swan around thinking you have "the charm, personality, the beauty" men are going to take one look at you, think you are too arrogant and too much like hard work.
There is a song by a British ... (read in full...)
My BF has been messaging another girl for 2 months. What should I do?
Q. So I'm on here because I don't quite know what to do. I just found out yesterday on New Year's Day that my boyfriend has been messaging some girl, trying to get into her knickers for the past 2 months. The girl in question sent me the proof. I'm n...
A. 2 January 2013: There is not a lot you can do - you made the right decision in breaking up with him so you just have to stay strong. Breaking up is hard, you are going to be tempted to take him back but that is a normal feeling. Breaking up is always going to hurt, ... (read in full...)
How should I deal with my mother-in-law's nonsense drama?
Q. (long text, but it's so ridiculous it's actually easy to read -_- ) She liked me since we first met. She even called me in the middle of the day just to say she loved me but out of the sudden she started to act crazy! She got very possessive with...
A. 2 January 2013: Quite a simple soultion for this situation - your boyfriend NEEDS to get a phone, ASAP!! It sounds like her main problem is getting hold of her son, she does sound like she has attachment issues and may well be overly controlling when her son is 30 ... (read in full...)
He's been unreliable multiple times.I want to get him back. Do you think I can? and how?
Q. So here's the situation. I started at a new school this semester (in September). It's a professional school so all the students in it range from about 22 to 26. Halfway through the semester, I met a guy and we really hit it off. We decided to start...
A. 2 January 2013: This is WAY too much of a mess for you to ever recover from I'm afraid.
It started off very badly when you decided it was just purely physical, so from the start this guy views you as just a bit of fun, someone for sex and not a lot else.
... (read in full...)
I do not like the fact that my B/f was previously engaged and shared so many great memories with his ex
Q. I have a boyfriend who was with a woman for 7 years they were engaged (I do not know for how long). Anyways, their relationship was mainly long distance with her in Europe and him in the U.S. He would basically fly to Europe to be with her multiple ...
A. 2 January 2013: No it is not wrong to feel this way, in fact it is very normal to feel like this when there is a big age gap involved.
You are both clearly at different stages of life - he has had all his fun, done the travelling and exploring the world and now ... (read in full...)
Our Families are close. So how do I cut my ex out of my life? He still wants sex.
Q. He told me a couple months ago he was coming to my state to see his father and wanted to see me. This gave me anxiety because he made sex comments on Facebook a few weeks earlier. He has been trying to get to me for years!! We have a very mess...
A. 2 January 2013: I really dont understand this - this man makes you feel ill, you are not attracted to him and you cant find a reason to still communicate - so WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU STILL TALKING TO HIM?
This is really simple - send him a message saying you no l... (read in full...)
Do I have any say since we've broken up emotionally? Does it seem very sly what he's doing?
Q. We have been together 6 years im 46 hes 44 we have not had sex in 2 yrs we decided to call it quits but we stay together only for financial reason, until we get our money in order for the next 6 months anyway. I have found him talking to som...
A. 2 January 2013: Well you have broken up so no, you dont have any say in who he talks to.
This woman already has a boyfriend so he's not chatting to her with the plan to date her, he is simply giving a friend some advice.
You need to remind yourself that yo... (read in full...)
I'm worried for my friend, I think she may be bulimic.
Q. Hi all, I suspect my friend is bulimic. She usually heads to the toilet after meals and spends around 20-30 minutes there. Though I've never followed her in before, she usually emerges with puffy eyes and runny nose. Once, another friend also saw ...
A. 20 December 2012: Talk to her parents is the best thing you can do, talking to her wont work I'm afraid. She needs help from a doctor so her parents are the best people to help her get to a doctor.
Alternatively, do you go to college or school together? Is there... (read in full...)
Should I be upset about my Christmas present?
Q. Ok... I'm just wanting some opinions. Last year for our first Christmas, my boyfriend bought me some electronics. such as a DVD player and a Nintendo wii. (which was nice of him.) I know it was the thought that counts, I am more of a romantic person ...
A. 20 December 2012: Men think that when you say something like "dont get me anything for Christmas" you mean it - they dont understand that some women have double meanings for what they say.
Saying "I dont want anything else for Christmas" means he wont get you anyt... (read in full...)
He says I'm his soul mate, but I don't think we even share the same sense of humour...should I break up with him around Christmas?
Q. Hi I've been going out with my boyfriend for 6 months and i've been beginning to notice that we have quite different senses of humour, and disagree quite a lot on things. I think he's an amazing person but I don't think we are right for eachother. ...
A. 19 December 2012: There is no good time to break up with someone, and if you wait until after Xmas you run the risk of looking like you only stayed with him to get your present and then left. So before is definitely preferable to after Xmas!
If you dont feel com... (read in full...)
Cheaters Central? Do you think my boyfriend cheated on me? Is he the cheater type?
Q. I know the type of answers I'll get for this question. "A relationship can't work without trust". But I guess I need to know whether I'm being paranoid or rightfully concerned. In any case, here it goes: Before I met my boyfriend he had a big cru...
A. 19 December 2012: I dont think anyone but him can tell you whether he cheated or not, and he has already lied to you so chances are he will never tell you what really happened. It is VERY suspicious that he spent the night at another woman's house who he had feelings ... (read in full...)
What does a guy think when a girl has her period?
Q. What do you guys think if you often see girls act awkward when they have their period? OR when you know they have it? Does it turn you off? I have no idea but every time I have period, I freaked out and I think everyone knows. :(...
A. 19 December 2012: Most men would never know a girl has her period - there is no way to tell! So it cant be a turn off if they dont know you have it, simple as that.
Unless you get really bad PMS and are very moody and are nasty to all the guys you meet, then the... (read in full...)
Crush on my history teacher!
Q. i think i like my teacher , hes a history teacher and i love history but im too shy in class to talk to him hes tall and good looking i think hes about 35 i dont know what to do i cant even look him in the eye i know its just a crush but i really ...
A. 18 December 2012: As I'm sure you know, teachers cannot have relationships with students. If he did have a relationship with you, or even get close to you at all the following things would happen to him:
1. He would be fired immediately by the school and never allo... (read in full...)
Am I supposed to feel hungry when dieting? And any tips on losing weight, for a woman aged 50?
Q. Hi there, I m very confused about dieting and weight loss, and because I would love to get in shape I really would like to share some experiences. So it is harder to lose weight at menopausal age, as I heard, but I was getting conflicting advice. ...
A. 18 December 2012: I think 1200 calories is the very minimum you can get away with, I know you think you cant lose weight if you eat more but your body will often shut down if you eat too little and go into 'starvation mode' where your body will cling onto every ... (read in full...)
I was abused in the past. Do I have the right to become celibate in my relationship?
Q. After years of having sexual problems, I have decided to become celibate. This is due to extreme anxiety and depression before and after sex that stems from emotional and slight sexual abuse. I was never forcibly raped, however, no matter how hard...
A. 17 December 2012: It is 100% unfair if you have had sex with your boyfriend before. If you met him and told him from the start you were celibate, it would be his choice to keep on dating you or not. However you have led him on, by having sex with him for your entire ... (read in full...)
I'm thinking about not going on holiday because it will give my boyfriend a chance to cheat on me again!
Q. Please can somebody help me make a decision on this one... ';ast year me and my boyfriend broke up for a week or so and i actually did think that things were done between us spo i put a large deposit down on an expensive holiday for me and my child...
A. 17 December 2012: If this is a man who can be persuaded in 2 weeks to leave you and go off with another woman, why are you even with him?!
Of course a break up would cause a lot of pain, all break ups hurt. But what will hurt you and your child more in the long run... (read in full...)
She wont give up the dating sites and chat rooms, what can I do? I don't want to leave our son....
Q. I have been living with my common law for 6 years and we have a 5 year old boy. For the last 18 months we have constantly argued over her use of dating and adult related chat room type websites. Just as always, I think we are getting back on the ...
A. 17 December 2012: There isnt anything else you can do I'm afraid, you have tried everything and she is simply incapable of being honest and being faithful to you.
So now you have 2 choices:
1. Put up with it and get on with life, knowing she is talking to o... (read in full...)
I had my sexual experience with my boyfriend. Yet he refuses to believe it was my first time. What can I do?
Q. hi everyone, just want to ask some advice or help regarding my own issue. i had my first sexual experience with my boyfriend. At first it was uncomfortable but eventually i became relaxed. I didn't bleed nor feel the pain as they say for the firs...
A. 17 December 2012: Everyone's vaginas are different shapes and sizes, so it is easily possible that yours is naturally a little different to what he has experienced before. And when you fool around obviously you will be naturally lubricated, and that helps to make it ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to break up with me because his mom thinks we're incompatible
Q. Here is the background story: I met this guy through my best friend's bf. I know this guy is a genuine and nice guy just because the people he hangs around with I'm all pretty familiar with. We met at a hangout for the first time and we hit it of...
A. 17 December 2012: Why does his mom think you are incompatible?
I think you have 2 options here:
1. Find out what his mom's issues were, figure out a way to get past them. Maybe this is through talking to her, getting your boyfriend to talk to her etc. Obvious... (read in full...)
In your own opinion does her behaviour and reactions define her as an easygirl?
Q. i have been dating this girl for a while but i know very little of her sexual experience. she claims she has had only one serious boyfriend but dated other people. after my second date with her i was perfoming oral on her but she did not let me h...
A. 17 December 2012: Well if she is an 'easy girl' then you are an 'easy man'! Double standard here methinks.....
But really, who cares?! Do you like her? Do you enjoy being with her? Do you want to spend more time with her? Do you see a future with her? That is WAY m... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has outbursts of anger but says he's only expressing himself. These episodes make me uncomfortable!
Q. So I asked a question about my boyfriend a couple of days ago. We're on holiday and he was telling me my top was see-through. We got over that and had a really nice day, sightseeing and enjoying our time together. Then yesterday he wanted to go and ...
A. 17 December 2012: Honestly I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill here, have you not got anything better to do than get all dramatic over something as petty as this?!
1. He was right to be upset - you are on holiday together, he wanted to see somethin... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's best guy friend has asked her to be his date to an event, I don't want her to to but I don't want to upset her by saying she cant go either!
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 months. She and I have a great life together, she is two years younger than me and still in high school. Her best friend is a guy that I know likes her but in 7 months he hasn't tried to steal her from ...
A. 17 December 2012: I think you are going to have to apologise first for avoiding the subject for so long and apologise for lying as well - that was really dumb for you to say you didnt care!
Then you are going to have to be honest - tell her everything you have sai... (read in full...)
My older boyfriend said we need a break so I can take some time to think about myself and my feelings, what does he mean by this?
Q. My boyfriend said this classical line "We need a break". I was shocked and all, but to tell the truth I was expecting it. Why? Well... you see... He's like 24 years older than me (he's 42, I'm 18), he's divorced, has 3 kids (two girls, 22 and ...
A. 13 December 2012: I think there are 2 things going on here:
1. He is worried by the huge age gap in terms of the future - he knows that as an 18 year old you need freedom to go out and enjoy life, to meet new people and experience new things. He knows that 18 year... (read in full...)
Should I tell my engaged co-worker that I have feelings for him?
Q. I want to tell a co worker that I have feelings for him. I have liked him for a few months and the only problem is that he is engaged. The weddings not for like 2 years though. I wasn't planning on saying anything because he's not available. But ...
A. 7 December 2012: If they had a break but got back together that shows that they are clearly trying to make this work, so if you say anything to him it will only make him think you are a bit 'mental' too like his fiancee!
If they are going to split up they will do ... (read in full...)
My best friend's younger sister wants me to pop her cherry and give her a crash course in lovemaking...but she has a boyfriend
Q. There's a girl who wants me to take her virginity and teach her about sex with a guy. She's a friend, but not a girlfriend, and I'm unsure about how to handle it. I'm 23 and hope to graduate next May with a degree in marketing. I'm unattached ...
A. 6 December 2012: I dont really know where to start!
1. "Her having a B/F bothers me a little but not much. He already thinks she's experienced and he's cool with that. I asked my buddy about her B/F and he thinks the B/F is a decent guy and pretty serious ... (read in full...)
We break up, we make up, but nothing has changed. What do I do about her?
Q. I have been back with my girlfriend only a week after us breaking up. We broke up because I found she had been registering on dating sites. Not only that but had been engaging in explicit conversation and exchanging photos. At first she denied it ...
A. 6 December 2012: Being quite attached is no reason to be a doormat and allow her to carry on abusing you like this. I'm sorry but she is taking the piss with you, walking all over you and you are letting her.
She is clearly incapable of being faithful and she ... (read in full...)
My partner said I ruined his life!
Q. Hi, I feel terrible and ill because my partner has basically said i have ruined his life. We got together a few years ago in uni and had been saving for ages to get a house together. due to him being a little hot and cold (loved me but didnt...
A. 6 December 2012: Look he is an adult, he is responsible for his own finances, his own job, his own life...his own happiness. If he is unhappy it is his own fault, not yours. He is simply taking his bad mood out on you because he knows you will put up with him.
... (read in full...)
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