A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi Dearcupid,My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now and love each other very much. We have so much fun together, whether it's going out or just enjoying one another's company. The only thing is that we are in different parts of our lives. He is 34 and just got his first well paying and serious job. He is a kind and very generous person who wants to support me however he can. I am 21 and just started school again after taking some time off. During my time off I moved to another city which is where I met my boyfriend... now I am back at school and we are trying to have a long distance relationship. All of my friends here are surprised to hear that I'm in a long distance relationship.. then they're even more surprised to find out about our age difference! I just need some outside perspective, because these people at my school are so discouraging and just want me to party and meet guys my age.. but I love my boyfriend and I am over parties (at least the college kind), and as weird as this might sound I have the feeling that my boyfriend might have long term ideas like marriage. It hasn't been brought up but why else would we be making plans to live together this summer and abroad plans for next year? Do you think this could be possible, or am I just fooling myself and clinging on to what we used to have? Any opinions would be wonderful, thank you for your time!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 September 2012):
 Long distance is hard
Long distance when you are in school and so young is even harder….
Long distance when you are in school and so young with an older boyfriend when your friends don’t get it and try to break you up is EVEN HARDER.
I can tell you that 13 years is very doable. My fiancé is 13 years younger than I am and we are getting married in two weeks… we’ve been together nearly 2 years… and age never is the issue (except that as the older partner I am in worse physical shape than he is and that is the ONE thing I caution folks about)…
I think you need to stop mentioning his age to your school friends… most folks don’t get age gap relationships… He probably get’s hammered at work about having such a young chickie as his gf… I know I get “you go girl” all the time from folks who call me “cougar” and I cringe… why is age such a big issue for folks anyway?
AND it’s NONE of their business…
How long will you be away at school… to me that’s the biggest issue…
And how far apart are you two… will you see each other regularly?
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (21 September 2012):
 I think from reading your post, you sound very mature and in your case I think your relationship actually could last. It sounds like you are over the partying stage most 21 year olds go through, and you are more interested in being with your boyfriend than going out , getting drunk and meeting guys.
As long as your boyfriend is on the same page and is putting in equal amounts of effort then I'm sure it can worl. long distance is hard, but he could always look at getting a job closer to you so you can be closer together, or you can always look at it this way - college is only for a few years, its not forever so once it is over you can be together properly. It will be a big test on your relationship, and at times it is hard, but as long as you love each other and always strive to make it work then I think you will be ok.
13 years isnt such a massive age difference, and he is still young enough to not be pushing you to settle down any time soon. Yes he might want marriage in the future, but I'm sure you would both agree that it would be a better idea to wait until you have finished college before you get married.
You sound like you have a great relationship and are very lucky to have found someone you connect with so well, dont let it go!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymus2012  +, writes (21 September 2012):
My girlfrind and I have the same age diference and honestly is no problem. As long as you both are kinda in the same level of maturity it should work. LDR are comlicated and full of challenges, but if you really love your boyfriend why not to give him a shot? Seems you are completly convinced he is a good man and that he loves you. Dont listen to haters and follow your heart.
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