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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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My husband disrespected me, should I go back to him?
Q. My husband is 4 years older than me, we got 3 kids together he's a great father and a loving husband, he's such a nice guy, meaning he's always out there somewhere letting other women cry on his shoulders whenever they in need for someone to talk ...
A. 30 July 2012: The problem is that he is a complete hypocrite - he thinks of you as his possesion so you cannot do a single thing to upset him, but he has one rule for you and one rule for himself.
I dont think you should go back to him at all, you have giv... (read in full...)
Girlfriend tells me now that she never liked doing sexual things and only did them to make me happy!
Q. Well I'm mainly just wondering if I should be telling my girlfriend sorry? Or expressing my draining trust in her? The problem emerged quite recently when she told me that she didn't like talking about sex and that she wanted to wait longer for it. ...
A. 30 July 2012: You definitely dont have anything to be sorry about - at the end of the day she lied to try and impress you, when she has no intention of ever following through on her promises.
There is nothing worse than empty promises and building a relation... (read in full...)
He texts other girls, does that mean he could be cheating too?
Q. So ive been dating ths guy for like almost 4months an were pretty close. But how do i know he isnt cheating? i mean i know he texts other girls but is that all..? im not really the jealous type, just the curious type. Please dont comment if your ...
A. 30 July 2012: Well what do you mean by 'he texts other girls'? Are these girls friends? Or are these flirty texts to other girls that he is attracted to?
If they are just friends he has had for a long time and they are normal friendly texts then I dont think yo... (read in full...)
Since I left for college I am jealous, moody and b/f and I argue all the time!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years now, and when we first started dating he told me he had been with a very large number of women. Just a few weeks ago he left for college only an hour and a half away and I had all these mixed ...
A. 27 July 2012: This is pretty natural when one person goes away to college I'm afraid, and there is not a lot you can do about it.
When you go to college your life changes massively, you meet loads of new people and have a lot of fun. Your world opens up more ... (read in full...)
It's early days for us. So am I worrying for no reason, over his reaction to me touching his phone?
Q. Am I concerned for no reason? Its fairly early days for me and another guy I met online but we have now met up 3 times (have known each other now for a couple of months). Last night we slept together he stayed at mine. He left his mobile phone ...
A. 27 July 2012: Yes, definitely ask him. If you have slept together it is common sense to ask him if he is involved with anyone else, otherwise you could be putting your own health at risk by having sex with someone who is also having sex with multiple other ... (read in full...)
Is my Gf a compulsive liar? Can I or should I trust her?
Q. Hi everyone. I've been together with a girl for around 2 months now who I met online. A few months before we got together, she told me that she lived in Japan and was studying at a college to draw Japanese comics. She also told me that she grew up ...
A. 27 July 2012: I think this girl has a lot of mental health problems which is going to cause no end of pain for you both I'm afraid.
I know you are not going to want to believe this, and will probably get upset, but how can you even believe she was raped? F... (read in full...)
Do I leave my boyfriend and just be a teenager?
Q. Only being 17 I have lived with my boyfriend for 8 months, we have been arguing constantly for about 5 of the months so he's moving out on the weekend. I love him to bits and he loves me but after living together its made me question if I'm ...
A. 27 July 2012: I think it is a good thing he is moving out, and yes you do need some time just to be a teenager. You have been playing grown ups for way too long, living together needs 2 very mature people who are happy to settle down together and get on with the ... (read in full...)
I don't know who the father is, should I terminate or give it up for adoption?
Q. Heya, i just found out I'm pregant but I dont know who the father is, I went to butlins about four weeks ago and I sleet with 3 boys, ( I didn't know them or talk any numbers or anything) a week later I slept with two more boys, ( I know these b...
A. 27 July 2012: Well if you are comfortable with an abortion and you are sure that it is the best thing for you, then I think you should go ahead and have an abortion.
You clearly are not ready for a child, and because you have been sleeping around so much it ... (read in full...)
I'm transitioning from college to real life. Should I keep dating this guy?
Q. I've been in a great relationship with this wonderful man for the past three months. He has his imperfections and I do too but overall we seem to get along pretty well. I am close to falling in love with him and I feel that he is too. The only thing ...
A. 27 July 2012: I think you are being way too hard on yourself! There is no need to end a relationship just because you are struggling for money, at the end of the day all relationships go through good patches and rough patches, and this is just a temporary blip ... (read in full...)
Would it be bad of me if I went away with my friend and told my girlfriend it was a work convention?
Q. I took her away to Florida in June and we are booked to go back next summer. She is going away with her family for a week in August and i was invited but i cannot get the time off work. I was thinking about going away for a week in September with...
A. 25 July 2012: Gosh if this really is the same person, with the pregnant girlfriend (who mysteriously is both 19 and 21) then you should not even be going on holiday AT ALL, let alone with a friend!
And how do you plan on going to Florida with a newborn ... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing? He cheated, and he asked me to tell him when I do forgive him?
Q. I found out today that my boyfriend of two years has been skyping another girl, calling her 'sexy', 'love', 'cutie', all things that he calls me, telling her she's 20 times hotter than me, that he'll think of her when he's in bed with me, etc. ...
A. 25 July 2012: In my opinion no you didnt do the right thing, I personally could not stay with a man who has been telling another girl how she is '20 times hotter' than his girlfriend, and a man who has been thinking about another girl when in bed with his ... (read in full...)
Does my anger toward my boyfriend's drinking reflect deeper issues?
Q. Hey dearcupids! some advice would be very much appreciated. Me and my boyfriend have been together 6 months and are in a happy relationship. He treats me better than any man has ever treated me before and is always there for me when I need him....
A. 24 July 2012: I think this sentence says it all "However, if I'm with him at the pub (which isn't much of the time as I don't drink often), it doesn't really bother me. We always have a good time together."
Therefore you have NO problem with him drinking... (read in full...)
Am I just not made for sex or relationships?
Q. I can’t seem to enjoy sex. The other night after a drunken evening out I ended an 8 year ‘drought’ on sex. It was with a girl I’ve liked for some time now but I guess the fact I am not confident with girls and have not had much experience I find the ...
A. 24 July 2012: Let me share one of my experiences, hopefully it might help you.
A while ago I dated a guy who was 29, good looking guy who was succesful, fun and overall a nice guy. No-one would ever have thought that actually no female had ever made him (exc... (read in full...)
I'm starting high school, and I'm nervous about guys.
Q. okay i need help okay so im going to be a freshman at seguin high school and im confused on how the guys are like are they the same as they are in movies please somebody help me cause im trying to be more out there to guys and not push them away and ...
A. 24 July 2012: Sweetie nothing in life is like the movies - movies are fake, a fantasy world that is made up to help us escape the real world. Make sure you remember this - it is a key lesson in life that life is nothing like the movies. If you remember this then ... (read in full...)
I have a secure marriage and a satisfying affair!
Q. I am very torn, and I need advise not criticism pls. Anyways I have started and an affair with one of my husbands friends. It isn't purely physical, I had some feelings for "Bob" for a few yrs prior. And now they have intensified.. My husband is ...
A. 23 July 2012: At the moment the affair with 'Bob' is being viewed though rose tinted glasses - affairs are dangerous, exciting and passionate. You are getting what you have been starved of and it feels intoxicating, hence why it all feels so perfect at the ... (read in full...)
I need to move forward but don't want to hurt my husband
Q. The one thing that is so diff. B/w me and My husband is he wants material things to make him happy. Always has. Yet these things just create more work for him that stresses him. I get happy from the close moments doing nothing that requires $. My ...
A. 23 July 2012: Sorry I dont quite understand what is going on here - you say your husband ALWAYS has been materialistic, therefore you married him knowing this fact. So why are you trying to change him? What makes you think that just because you believe in ... (read in full...)
Why am I so Jealous!!! Please HELP!!!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 7 years now and ever since the beginning I have been a crazy jealous beeotch.... I have hated every place he has worked at and now he has been a pizza delivery guy for 3 years. I always think that he ...
A. 20 July 2012: Well he should not be getting naked pictures of girls on his phone (unless it was some joke type thing from a friend), so you were right to be upset by it but your reaction should have been to talk to your partner about how much it hurt you, rather ... (read in full...)
He dumped me after I got pregnant, what do I do?
Q. I been dating this guy for 3 months and things were great between us now that I'm pregnant with his baby he asked me to abort he no longer text me like he used to no calls no nothing and I still love him what should I do please HELP ...
A. 20 July 2012: You got pregnant, he doesnt want the baby and has now ran away scared.
He was happy dating you, thinking things were fine and moving along nicely, then all of a sudden you are pregnant and everything has changed. He doesnt want to be a dad, so ... (read in full...)
Does this married man love me?
Q. Is this love or not,This man i'm seeing never has said he loves me,but do these actions say otherwise, he texts me every morning and nite calls me everyday some times more than once 7 day a week,tells me he misses me heaps,calls me sweet names,like ...
A. 20 July 2012: At the end of the day if he is still married but having an affair with you then he cannot truly love you. He obviously has strong feelings for you and enjoys being with you, but he goes home at night to another woman so he can never fully love you ... (read in full...)
How do you end it with someone you love and have a child with?
Q. Any help would be appreciated, basically for a long long time now I've not been happy in my relationship, we have good times, but they're not anywhere near as frequent as our bad times, I've tried and tried, and I love him I just don't feel in love ...
A. 20 July 2012: Well if I were in your situation, I would be thinking about my child and wanting to make the relationship work for his/her sake. So I would go to couples counselling to try and salvage the relationship.
Alternatively I would be 100% honest w... (read in full...)
Why am I so Jealous!!! Please HELP!!!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 7 years now and ever since the beginning I have been a crazy jealous beeotch.... I have hated every place he has worked at and now he has been a pizza delivery guy for 3 years. I always think that he ...
A. 20 July 2012: It sounds like you need some counselling, some individual counselling for your own issues and then in the future couple counselling would be a good idea.
You went behind his back and emotionally cheated on him by talking to other men, yes you ... (read in full...)
She apologized and said I was 'hard work sometimes. My friend says she's cheating What or who should I believe?
Q. I am very laid back and a mellow guy. My girlfriend of 4 months is generally happy and she is 9 weeks pregnant. We have a good time together and i treat her well. I called her today to wake her up as she had work and i called her when she was on ...
A. 19 July 2012: I very much she is cheating just because she was a bit grumpy on the phone!
Remember - SHE IS PREGNANT. Pregnant women are often hormonal, this is just part and parcel of being pregnant. It makes you moody, one minute you can be in a great mo... (read in full...)
My husband wants me to wait 6 years to have children but I'm all ready at 27
Q. So my husband and i had a huge argument about having children. He's 23 and I'm 27. We had spoken about it before we got married and i had stated quite clearly that (at 26) I didn't want to wait more than four years as i think having children late ...
A. 18 July 2012: Well children DO take away your freedom, there is no doubt about that! They require 24/7 attention, even if you were a full time mom he would still be affected massively by having children.
There would be 9 months of taking care of you, because ... (read in full...)
My insecurities? His inconsideration?
Q. I really don't know who is in the wrong regarding our situation? My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year and just moved in together. He will sometimes put on these (sexy teenager movies) he used to watch while growing up...
A. 18 July 2012: It sounds like it is simply a difference in taste - he likes movies and enjoys movies he watched when he was younger, whereas you are not into movies and dont really 'get' what he finds enjoyable in those movies - hence you automatically assume it ... (read in full...)
My insecurities? His inconsideration?
Q. I really don't know who is in the wrong regarding our situation? My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year and just moved in together. He will sometimes put on these (sexy teenager movies) he used to watch while growing up...
A. 16 July 2012: Sorry but in my opinion he has done nothing wrong and this is 100% your insecurities.
I dont know exactly what you mean by a 'sexy teenager movie' as technically this would be illegal, you cannot have anything involving underage teenager... (read in full...)
I've just discovered the girl I like has HIV and now I'm not sure what I should do.
Q. So for a good amount of time I've been single and haven't had much going on in my romantic life, partly because I'm very picky about girls and partly because I had a long period of being less social than I used to be. Recently though I've been ...
A. 16 July 2012: Well this decision is yours to make and yours only - we cant tell you what is right for you. All we can do is give you our own opinion and you can make your decision from there.
I personally think it is too much of a risk to take when you are ... (read in full...)
My husband wants me to wait 6 years to have children but I'm all ready at 27
Q. So my husband and i had a huge argument about having children. He's 23 and I'm 27. We had spoken about it before we got married and i had stated quite clearly that (at 26) I didn't want to wait more than four years as i think having children late ...
A. 13 July 2012: It is unfair for him to change his mind - after all you made it very clear before you got married that you wanted children soon due to your age. Therefore if he knew this all along he should not have married you if he knew he wasnt going to follow ... (read in full...)
I've been married two years, and have nothing in common with my husband, not even sex.
Q. Hi there, im all new to this! I met my now husband 2yrs ago, we married year after we meet. We did get on well, but very quickly i found we hav nothin to talk about, we can go a whole evening without so much of an exchange of a single word, we ...
A. 13 July 2012: These are your words "very quickly i found we hav nothin to talk about" - so if this happend "very quickly" and you married after being together a year, why did you marry him knowing you had nothing in common?
At the end of the day you chose to... (read in full...)
Can You find real passionate love?
Q. Reading 'Fifty Shades of Grey' it's got me thinking about my own next to sexless relationship at such a young age and I wonder and my question is... Can you find someone that you're that attracted to that you feel the spark just ignite when you ...
A. 10 July 2012: You have to keep in mind that fifty shades of grey is fictional and it is a novel designed to excite women, it is not designed to reflect real life.
However saying that of course you can feel passion in a relationship (probably not to the same... (read in full...)
should I just bite the bullet and tell my parents that I’m gay
Q. A few months ago I took a huge step by telling one of my friends that I’m gay. She was the first person I told. The risk paid off as she confessed that she was also gay, which I had previously suspected, and we talked about it. I recently had my ...
A. 10 July 2012: As YouWish says, if you are 100% sure you are gay and you have been certain of that fact for a long time (years not months) then yes you should talk to them. Honesty is always the best policy and chances are if you have known you are gay for a long ... (read in full...)
If things are going great in a relationship, what is a reasonable amount of time to expect a marriage proposal?
Q. If things are going great in a relationship, what is a reasonable amount of time to expect a marriage proposal? We are both in mid thirties, been together going on 2 years. When is it time to walk away in search of finding someone who will wanna get ...
A. 10 July 2012: Well in my opinion you should always talk to your partner at some point in the relationship to find out if they share the same values as you regarding the future - i.e. do they want marriage and children one day? Or is that something they are never ... (read in full...)
My b/f was burned badly and has his face bandaged. What if he looks so different that I don't love him anymore?
Q. My boyfriend of one year was recently involved in an accident at work. He needs much time to recover and most of his face is bandaged due to heavy burns. His body has been badly damaged and he needs plenty of rest but he'll be fine. But I'm so ...
A. 4 July 2012: Well do you only love your boyfriend because of the way he looks? Or are you in love with him for WHO HE IS?
If you only love him for his looks and dont really care much about his personality, then you should own up to him now that you are a ve... (read in full...)
G/f and I won't be able to live together after baby is born. Its making me feel bad
Q. ok, well my girlfriend has told me she is pregnant. We were careful, but the test says 3 plus so i think ( after reading up she maybe 5 weeks pregnant)... i don't want children but she has made up her mind to keep it with or without me, so i have no ...
A. 4 July 2012: Well she has forced you into this decision when you have made it clear you dont want the baby, so in essence she has chosen to be a single mum. So in my opinion, you shouldnt feel bad at all because it is her choice. Yes you had sex with her, so ... (read in full...)
She goes weeks without touching me but promises me we'll have plenty of sex once married
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for a 1.5 years and we are compatible in almost every way. Both of us are in our early 30's. My sex drive is still very high and I always want some no matter how tired or overworked I am. I am agnostic and she...
A. 1 July 2012: Let me just tell you this - your desire for sex will NEVER leave your 'system', not in 5 years, not ever. You will always want sex, sex is a natural part of a relationship and if you are not sexually compatible then you are not comptaible as a ... (read in full...)
She goes weeks without touching me but promises me we'll have plenty of sex once married
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for a 1.5 years and we are compatible in almost every way. Both of us are in our early 30's. My sex drive is still very high and I always want some no matter how tired or overworked I am. I am agnostic and she...
A. 29 June 2012: I can appreciate that she is a strict christian and believes in no sex before marriage, but this brings up one very large problem - you have no idea before you get married if you are sexually compatible. And you CANNOT commit to someone for the rest ... (read in full...)
I know she gave her number to a random guy so I want to go with her when the meet
Q. ok this is abit of a wierd question Just say ur gf gave her number out to some random dude on the internet and u found out, and they havent met yet, but u forced them to meet , woud it make the situation better or worse? say for isntance, i call...
A. 27 June 2012: No I dont think that would help at all! If you went along with her it would be incredibly awkward and she wouldnt say anything in front of you, so the three of you would just stand there, it would be weird and then you would go home again having ... (read in full...)
I cheated on him and now he has cheated on me, I feel alone and sad
Q. We are in a relationship living together with one daughter. Known him for six years now. Together for about five of them. Idk where to start my question I guess I feel trapped , and alone. I cheated on him and our cheating/decieveing issues goes way ...
A. 27 June 2012: Well glitter and him being distant is not enough evidence for cheating is it! So I cant answer whether or not he has cheated, you will have to ask him if you want the answer to that question.
I would suggest him being distant is because of your ... (read in full...)
I feel a fool for hooking up with somebody who only wants sex!
Q. Me and this guy had been talking for 6 months online (I'm english, he is german) we eventually meet up and we end up sleeping together. Big BIG mistake. We were on different wave lengths in regards to what was happening, I thought we were going to ...
A. 27 June 2012: Because you are young, because you are female, because you like him and hope that by sleeping with him more he will eventually fall in love with you and want you to be together.
You are one of millions of women that do this, and I bet if you ask ... (read in full...)
How can I make him jealous on Facebook?
Q. Im dating a guy and everything is going on well. The only problem is sometimes i don't feel like he loves me. So i have come up with a plan that is to make him jealous. I know it might sound silly but thats the only plan i can think of. He really ...
A. 26 June 2012: This question should be titled 'How can I make my boyfriend dump me by acting like an idiot on Facebook'
If you try and make him jealous, he will leave you because he will see what a ridiculous, immature silly little girl you are and he will mov... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is jealous when I dance salsa....
Q. So...7 months ago I started a long distance relationship with a man I met online. We talked on the phone for a month before meeting in person. We have a lot in common and he's very attractive. The problem is his jealousy. When we first started ...
A. 23 June 2012: Now I personally am I little wary of this whole dancing culture that has come around recently (seems to be on the back of Dancing with the Stars and Strictly Come Dancing) - this is because my parents decided it would be something nice to do ... (read in full...)
Is getting pregnant at 15 the right thing to do?
Q. Well, im 15... And me and my boyfriend have been together for 9 months, now heres my issue, when we hit a year... My boyfriend wants a BABY..... Okay look, I absoulutly ADORE babies, I LOVE them. And I have no problem with pregnancy at this age.... ...
A. 22 June 2012: The quick answer - NO!!!!
'Wanting a baby' and 'having a baby' are 2 very different things, and the reality of being parents is very very difficult. If you wait to have your child you will see that maturity is a massive help, having a good job... (read in full...)
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