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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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My partner said I ruined his life!
Q. Hi, I feel terrible and ill because my partner has basically said i have ruined his life. We got together a few years ago in uni and had been saving for ages to get a house together. due to him being a little hot and cold (loved me but didnt...
A. 6 December 2012: Look he is an adult, he is responsible for his own finances, his own job, his own life...his own happiness. If he is unhappy it is his own fault, not yours. He is simply taking his bad mood out on you because he knows you will put up with him.
... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants space so she can find out if she is happy
Q. I am 22 years old,I have been dating my girlfriend for 6 months now.last night she told me that she isn't sure if she can be happy and I deserve someone who is 100% committed to me.she said she wants to take a 2 week break so she can hopefully find ...
A. 6 December 2012: There is not a lot you can do I'm afraid, her head is obviously messed up and she needs some time to sort herself out. You simply have to give her time and space, leave her alone so she can figure things out.
But be warned - 'breaks' are never a ... (read in full...)
Should I take the apprenticeship even though there is no guarantee of a job at the end?
Q. This isn't a relationship question but I'm hoping you all will have some super advice. So I'm 17 (the age says 18 at the top, no idea why) And I'm currently in my second year of sixth form (sixth form lasts 2 years) so I have till June till I'm ...
A. 4 December 2012: What worries me the most is the amount they are paying you for this apprenticeship, that is WAY under minimum wage (if you were doing a 7 hour day that would be around £3 per hour!). So you will have a very poor standard of living for 2 years with ... (read in full...)
Why can't I understand unconditional love?
Q. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 and a half years now. It's been long distance the entire time with at least one visit each year. We talk about getting married, having kids, all the commitment stuff. We've had our ups and downs. But it seems like ...
A. 4 December 2012: Its not sad or cold at all, it is just not a silly childish attitude to love and relationships. I understand what you are talking about when you say you would do anything to make your partner happy, even if at times it means personal sacrifice. That ... (read in full...)
Why can't I understand unconditional love?
Q. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 and a half years now. It's been long distance the entire time with at least one visit each year. We talk about getting married, having kids, all the commitment stuff. We've had our ups and downs. But it seems like ...
A. 4 December 2012: You have just fallen into a trap that many young people in relationships fall into - the idea of 'unconditional love'. The problem with unconditonal love is that it DOES NOT EXIST in romantic relationships, it simply is not possible. For example, if ... (read in full...)
What kind of Christmas gift should be appropriate for my girlfriend's mom?
Q. my ldr girlfriend offered me to join her and her family for christmas, my question is simple, what kind of gift should be appropiate for her mom ( she has been nice to me, but have only seen her twice ) and for her grandpa ( i havent met him yet, ...
A. 4 December 2012: I always think a hamper is a lovely gift for mom's, especially if you make it yourself. All you need to do is buy a big-ish basket and lots of lovely food and drink to fill it with. Then wrap it in some cellophane, tie a bow on it and job done! Ask ... (read in full...)
My 16 year old son is in love with a woman who is 24 years older than him!
Q. My 16 year old son is in love with a woman 24 years older than hisself, he met her when he was in a Subway with friends, he's told me theyve been secretly dating for over a month now and that the relationships not based on sex but proper love. She's ...
A. 3 December 2012: Living in the UK, and living with my teacher boyfriend I am fairly up to speed on what is considered right and wrong in the eyes of the law when it comes to schools. I have already said that 16 is the age of consent so your son is ok in that sense, ... (read in full...)
What should be shared in a relationship and what should be private?
Q. What should be shared in a relationship after a year and 3 months? Is it wrong to want to see his facebook, cell phone etc? I have no problem showing mine! I feel like people with nothing to hide, hide nothing and all he says he wants is privacy! ...
A. 3 December 2012: Personally I think there always should be some privacy in relationships, after all you are two individuals and you dont have to share everything.
You say if he has nothing to hide why wont he share? Well lets turn this around, if you trust hi... (read in full...)
Would it be a waste of time to try and get back with someone who finished with you because of a past history of sleeping around and cheating?
Q. Would it be a waste of time to try and get back with someone who finished with you because of a past history of sleeping around and cheating. Basically i got with my sisters mate 3-4 months or so ago, we kept it quiet so they didnt fall out and so w...
A. 3 December 2012: I think its worth a try - the past is the past, it doesnt mean you are going to be like that for the rest of your life. However you will have a hard task, if she has been cheated on before then it will be an uphill struggle for you.
I wouldnt ... (read in full...)
My 16 year old son is in love with a woman who is 24 years older than him!
Q. My 16 year old son is in love with a woman 24 years older than hisself, he met her when he was in a Subway with friends, he's told me theyve been secretly dating for over a month now and that the relationships not based on sex but proper love. She's ...
A. 3 December 2012: Just following on from what Anonymous123 said, reporting her to the school isnt about ruining her professionally, it is about protecting children. As Anonymous123 said, chances are this isnt the first child she is messing around with and wont be the ... (read in full...)
Would you commit to someone who treated you like this?
Q. Hello -- I've been with a girl (30) for 15 months now. Initially everything was great, but as the months wore on, some issues have came to light. She's pushing hard for commitment; living together, marriage, kids eventually, etc, and is threatening ...
A. 3 December 2012: Erm no you are not wrong at all for not wanting to let her meet your parents, she will only try and turn your family against you as well!
I can understand why she is upset that the relationship isnt going anywhere, I would expect to meet my boyfr... (read in full...)
My 16 year old son is in love with a woman who is 24 years older than him!
Q. My 16 year old son is in love with a woman 24 years older than hisself, he met her when he was in a Subway with friends, he's told me theyve been secretly dating for over a month now and that the relationships not based on sex but proper love. She's ...
A. 3 December 2012: I think there is only one real option here:
Report her to the school she works at (you will be protected in terms of the school wont be able to tell her who told them about it). After all she works at a college, and she would never be able to ... (read in full...)
He says we have sex less often because I've put on weight. Could this be the real reason?
Q. hello, i have a problem. i have been with my boyfriend for 7years. we only have sex sometimes once a week or once a month. he says it's because i've gained weight and it feels different. Can this be true? Also i sometimes think he's cheating ...
A. 30 November 2012: This is going to sound a little harsh, so I apologise in advance, but if you have put on weight then he might not be as attracted to you as he used to be, so that could be why your sex life has declined.
Ok so a few pounds are not going to make ... (read in full...)
My new husband is emailing a stranger pictures of him, and personal information for him and his family. HELP!
Q. Hello, there. I got a trouble, I dont know how to explain but I will write all the details down and I do wish I could get some advice and help because at the moment I do really really need it. Me and my husband just got married 4 weeks ago and we...
A. 29 November 2012: This is all wrong in so many ways. First of all you are too young to be married and this clearly shows - neither you or your husband are mature enough to be able to communicate clearly.
I'm not sure what your husband is doing, if this person i... (read in full...)
He says he loves me, but then he says I'm only someone he talks to when he's bored. I'm confused!
Q. My long distance boyfriend of 3 months now and I, now live in two different states. We've known each other for a long time and have met a couple of times then. He moved away and then asked me out. So we haven't really met as a couple yet! We should ...
A. 29 November 2012: No you cant force him to love you more I'm afraid. Lets analyse his answer:
1. "I'm addicted to you". That is worrying, no-one should be 'addicted' to anything, let alone another person. It would indicate that he is a bit obessed with you and woul... (read in full...)
Got caught speeding by a traffic camera. Need advice from people who live in the UK!
Q. I know this has nothing to do with love or relationships but everyone on here who answers always seems very insightful and knowledgeable so I figure maybe you can help me. I live in the UK and I went to a concert last night in Glasgow, which is...
A. 29 November 2012: Well if the camera flashed you havent got away with it! You have been caught speeding, and you were going 20mph over the limit so not one that the police might let you off for. Within 5mph of the limit is sometimes let off, definitely not 20mph!
... (read in full...)
Am I rushing the wedding bells?
Q. I have been in a serious relationship for 10 months with a wonderful man. We see each other every day and spend weekends together. Our families have intertwined and everything is going great. When should I be expecting a marriage proposal? I'm 43 ...
A. 28 November 2012: I think you are pushing it a bit, rushing into marriage, even when age is against you is never wise - and this is his first marriage, he will want more time to make sure it is right.
He has told you he wants to get married, so chances are it w... (read in full...)
We dated long distance for two years. After finally meeting in person, he dumps me, and I can't seem to let him go.
Q. I was in a long distance relation for about 2 years.. I really fell for this guy however he was so mean to me. We always argued and he would make me feel so low. However we did have some good times bt the bad definitely outweighed the good. To sum ...
A. 28 November 2012: We do understand that you can develop feelings for someone if you meet them online, of course you can. But you cannot have a TRUE relationship, because true relationships require physical intimacy (not just sex, but closeness...that feeling you get ... (read in full...)
Why is there such a double standard regarding men's and women's sexuality?
Q. Hi, I am openly dating. And my brother seems to think that I am a potential hoe even though I do not have sex with these men. He's young and is influenced heavily by society and the media and the defintion of what a woman is "supposed" to normally ...
A. 28 November 2012: Sexim is historical, dating right the way back to the beginning of the human race. Men were supposed to 'sow their seed', to impregnante as many women as possible to help expand the human race. This is when there were not many humans on earth, and ... (read in full...)
Is she interested, or am I just too lonely?
Q. Is she interested, or am I just too lonely? Ok, let me lay down the ground work. I must be twice her age. and yes I do have problems finding women of my age or any other for that matter. She must be about 25, 6 foot 3, very skinny with a tiny voi...
A. 28 November 2012: Lets put whether she likes you or not aside. Think about the age difference for a minute. Ok so she's 25, that makes you what, 50? Lets make some assumptions about the typical 25 year old woman. She will have finished her eductation and have a job, ... (read in full...)
We dated long distance for two years. After finally meeting in person, he dumps me, and I can't seem to let him go.
Q. I was in a long distance relation for about 2 years.. I really fell for this guy however he was so mean to me. We always argued and he would make me feel so low. However we did have some good times bt the bad definitely outweighed the good. To sum ...
A. 28 November 2012: I'm really sorry to tell you this, but an online relationship where you have never met before in person IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP. It is just chatting online and over the phone, a real relationship is very different.
You do know why he left you (if ... (read in full...)
Did we break up for the wrong reasons?
Q. Dear Agony Aunts ^^ My boyfriend of a year and a half have recently broken up. We've been good friends since eleventh grade and we started going out in twelfth. We've always gotten along very well and loved each other very much. However, when we...
A. 27 November 2012: Well you cant have broken up for the wrong reasons if you are happy with the break-up - you have said yourself you dont have romantic feelings for him anymore and you wouldnt go back to him. So the break-up sounds like it was 100% for the right ... (read in full...)
I feel guilty that my boyfriend gave up a long lasting friendship for me. I never asked him to!
Q. I have kind of a complicated situation... So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years now, and he has been in love with his female friend for a very long time. They knew one another in elementary school, and were rather close. Th...
A. 27 November 2012: I dont think you should feel bad at all, I actually think he took a very mature and sensible decision. Keeping her in his life only prolongs his feelings and never allows him to get over her, so perhaps he has realised that his future is with you, ... (read in full...)
I hate my boyfriend's mother.
Q. Okay so I've been with my boyfriend for about a year, I am 15 and he is 17. The major problem for us is that I absolutely can not stand his mother. I don't want to say hate, because that is a powerful word, but it is definitely getting there. I ...
A. 27 November 2012: As the other aunts have said, in the nicest possible way, you need to grow up I'm afraid.
Your boyfriend at least seems a bit more mature than you, he said that while he doesnt like her much she's his mom and he loves her. You cant change y... (read in full...)
How did I get HPV if I have had only 1 sexual partner?
Q. So I got a Pap smear recently and my doctor told me I had abnormal results and needed a colposcopy. The results from that showed that I'm HPV + ! However I have only been with 1 person sexually my whole life, my current boyfriend. He on the ...
A. 27 November 2012: Have a read of this - http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/physical_health/conditions/hpv.shtml
This should also help:
HPV is passed on through genital contact, most often during vaginal and anal sex. HPV may also be passed on during oral sex and gen... (read in full...)
Why did my teacher only invite me and none of the other students to his birthday party? He's 24 Does he love me?.
Q. I've have been in the big trouble! I have fallen in love with my teacher, and I wonder if he loves me too. The way he looks at me and he also looks at me a lot! My friends already thought I'm crazy. They said it's impossible to love the teacher ...
A. 26 November 2012: Yes 24 is too old for you, I'm sorry but your teacher could lose his job if he did anything with you and I'm sure you dont want that to happen, so you need to back off.
Nothing can happen while you are his student, so you just need to realise ... (read in full...)
How can I deal with this? He's blocked me off all his social networking sites because apparently I "moan" too much
Q. I am 19 years old and have been in love with the same guy since I was 13. I've never been with another man and we have never been friends always more but on/off as he often goes with other women. I'm so close to him and his family and for a strang...
A. 23 November 2012: He is using you. Simple as that. He has made it very clear that he is 'single' and is with other women, but he knows that you are doormat that he can walk all over so while you continue to allow him to, he will keep on doing it.
You are doing hi... (read in full...)
My boyfriend slept in another girls room
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly 2 years. We are both 19. We broke up over the summer and since then have not been the same. Since then i feel like he wants to be single and goes out a lot. We both get quite jealous and dont like ...
A. 23 November 2012: You are really overreacting, nothing happened! He was tired and fell asleep on the floor, I cannot see how that is a big deal. He told you where he was going, he told you everything that happened that night - he has behaved perfectly and you are ... (read in full...)
It started off well. Am I being overly paranoid or has he just lost interest?
Q. Okay so I have been seeing a guy now for around 6 weeks, been for a lovely dinner and meeting up quite frequently. Everything seemed to be going really well, he was initiating contact every day and asking me when I was free. Then one sunday he was m...
A. 21 November 2012: It sounds like he has lost interest I'm afraid, if he used to make time for you during the week then all of a sudden he can only do Sundays, something is going on.
I would put an end to it now, before you get hurt further. ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting? How can I deal with this issue? He regards his family as a higher priority over our relationship.
Q. I am in my late twenties and my boyfriend is in his mid thirties. We have been together for 4 years and discussed getting married. One of the issues I have, however, is his relationship with his family. Every Tuesday, he has dinner at his paren...
A. 21 November 2012: I think you are indeed overreacting, it is one night a week and as CindyCares said, its not like its a weekend - its a Tuesday! So what if you and your friend could only do a double date on a Tuesday, why cant you pick another night on a different ... (read in full...)
I need help badly. I'm emotionally torn. Missing my Bf after his father said things that put him into a boys home. My health's been affected. How can I cope better?
Q. Well, me and my boyfriend are very serious. I know I'm in love. Well my boyfriend's dad and him always fight and sometime fist fight. When they do his dad usually hits first, this time my boyfriend hit first because his dad called me a "fat...
A. 21 November 2012: I'm afraid there is not a lot you can do sweety, you cant get your boyfriend back, you cant change his violent father...you simply have to accept the situation you are in.
He has come from a violent background so unfortunately this has rubbed o... (read in full...)
I don't know what to do because it is screwing with me emotionally and he is now in my dreams all the time.
Q. To make a long story short right at the start, I spent one amazing summer with this guy in 2011, well call him Brett. The only problem was he had a girlfriend back in LA. We tried to be friends, but after multiple times of hanging out at my house ...
A. 20 November 2012: There is genuinely NOTHING you can do in this situation. He chose his girlfriend over you, that is as much closure as you are going to get. You claim you never knew how he felt about you, but he went back to his girlfriend, meaning whatever he felt ... (read in full...)
Not for revenge but for my own pleasure I'm thinking of cheating, nothing serious just a one night thing. Opinions please!
Q. My partner and I have been together for 5 years up until recently we were engaged, have 2 children and were trying for a 3rd. During this time he has cheated on me twice that I know of. The first was for the first 12 months we were together...
A. 20 November 2012: No matter how much you enjoy your one night stand (if you go ahead) it is not going to change the fact that your partner has cheated on you 3 times.
I think you want this one night stand to make yourself feel loved, sexy and wanted again because ... (read in full...)
Met a guy online, going to meet him soon.
Q. So I met this guy on this online forum and he started talking to me first. He thought I was a guy and we were talking for a bit until he asked my number and texted me. It wasn't until he asked my name did he find out I was female. haha I just came ...
A. 20 November 2012: Yes it sounds like he enjoys talking to you, he wouldnt bother texting you first and keeping the conversation going if he didnt enjoy it.
As for how intimate you should get, definitely no more than making out. If he expects more then he is a jer... (read in full...)
All the girls go for my good looking friend instead of me!
Q. A friend of mine is the total opposite of me. He is 6'2 with blond hair and has stunning looks and he works out. I'm 5'8, work out and play sports, but don't look stunning like he does. I've been told I am handsome by older family and that is it. ...
A. 19 November 2012: To Serpico and the OP - women do want nice guys, it is only the immature shallow women that want the 'bad boys'! My situation is a classic example, I was dating a hot guy who was playing the typical unavailable, unattainable game. He was really hot, ... (read in full...)
All the girls go for my good looking friend instead of me!
Q. A friend of mine is the total opposite of me. He is 6'2 with blond hair and has stunning looks and he works out. I'm 5'8, work out and play sports, but don't look stunning like he does. I've been told I am handsome by older family and that is it. ...
A. 16 November 2012: What girl would pick you over him? The one that doesnt want the super hot jerk, the one that wants a nice guy who treats her well. And I can assure you, there are LOADS of girls who want that.
Your problem is confidence, and a weird idea that jus... (read in full...)
All the girls go for my good looking friend instead of me!
Q. A friend of mine is the total opposite of me. He is 6'2 with blond hair and has stunning looks and he works out. I'm 5'8, work out and play sports, but don't look stunning like he does. I've been told I am handsome by older family and that is it. ...
A. 15 November 2012: First things first, by all means play sports with this guy and hang out with him, but dont spend ALL your time with him. Unfortunately girls at your age are immature and think that looks are everything, hence why they are going for your friend.
... (read in full...)
Debate: GIrls love being treated like dirt!
Q. Girls are weird. Whether u all admit it or not. Most my school and teen years I used to see guys being docks and girls getting hurt and complaining. I always wondered why they didn't go out with nice guys like me who would not hurt them. F...
A. 15 November 2012: Sorry to tell you this but you are just a young, naieve young boy who has no idea about the world of love and dating.
I am 25, and HATE guys that a) play games, b) treat girls like crap and c) use the old 'treat them mean keep them keen' idea. I ... (read in full...)
We had an incredible week long affair and now 3 months later nothing! What happened?
Q. It's the usual affair story....I've been married for 19 years to a good man, hard worker, who would do anything for me. The problem is, he is extremely negative, has no friends, is suicidal at times, is a drinker and his family is rotten. I have ...
A. 14 November 2012: What should you do? Figure out what is going on with your marriage. This affair was a fantasy, an escape from the reality that you marriage is not working and you are unhappily married. The man who you had an affair with is irrelevant for now, the ... (read in full...)
While moving into her new place, my sister has moved my stuff too! How can I approach this situation?
Q. I am 26 and currently still living with my parents while I save for a house deposit. My two younger sisters (25 and 22) also live at home, however my 25 year old sister has recently decided to move in with her boyfriend. The problem is, she has been ...
A. 14 November 2012: I'd write a list of the things that you know are missing, give your sister the list and tell her that this is what you are missing and you would apprecite it if she could check her new place just in case she accidentally took them with her. This way ... (read in full...)
How do we tell our parents that my 17 year old girlfriend is pregnant?
Q. I really don't know what to do with this situation. I'm 21, in my last year at undergrad (pursuing my PhD), and have a 17 year old girlfriend back home who, after a very passionate end-of-summer date in August, is now three months pregnant. And she ...
A. 14 November 2012: You have to thin about the statutory rape issue first - doctors, midwives and counsellors are going to get involved seen as she is under 18 and chances are the authorities might get involved due to her age, and that is where you run the very real ... (read in full...)
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