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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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I don't want to move but I don't want to deny my mom better chances either! What do I do?
Q. hey every one recently my mother has decided that she is going to move away and its my choice if we do or not im very confused and angry that she put this on me i want to go i really do but i find it hard and scary about a place i have never seen ...
A. 20 August 2012: Well lets look at it this way:
1. You said yourself you want to go
2. They are waiting until you have finished school, so it cannot affect your grades - I presume they will wait until you have finished your GCSE's, and then you can do your A Le... (read in full...)
He's my ex. I accidentally saw him out wearing the shirt I gave him. But he ignored me. Why would he wear THAT shirt?
Q. okay so i havent seen my ex since his birthday last month, where i gave him a shirt. we've only spoken a couple of times since then and they were not pleasant conversations. he started dating his ex before me and i moved on. ive never felt so reli...
A. 20 August 2012: I think your reading too much into it. He probably just likes the shirt, it was clean so he wanted to wear it.
I have plenty of gifts from ex's that I still wear, just because I like them and it would be a waste to get rid of them!
You hav... (read in full...)
Am I handling this right?
Q. i found out i was pregnant and has been for 3 months and 3 days. my boyfriend was on pill snorting them and recently or so i thought stop. he has been drinking more and has had a problem with drinking more and now behind my back smoking weed also. I ...
A. 20 August 2012: You have 100% done the right thing, well done for making such a hard decision. Not many girls your age could do such a brave thing so you have done amazingly well to kick him out.
Your health and the babies health are the top priority, and if h... (read in full...)
Kiss and run! What's up with this younger guy?
Q. Hey. I am SO confused right now. I met Jay on a work training course, he is 13yrs younger than me. We hit it off, all was good until he walked me to my car, we spent over an hour kissing. He followed it up with a text straight away saying 'wow that ...
A. 20 August 2012: He is just a typical younger guy (based on your age he is 23-27) who is playing games and enjoys a bit of fun with you but doesnt want it to go further.
A lot of guys play games, especially those aged 35 and under. And he is playing a game wit... (read in full...)
Trust? Betrayal? My Girlfriend cheated and got pregnant so now what?
Q. my GF cheated and got pregnant and the father of the baby died. now shes begging me not to break up with her.and wants me to help her with the baby... i feel like im just being used should i kick her to the curb help her out or what... and im...
A. 17 August 2012: This is a really tough one, on the one hand this girl has betrayed you, dis-respected you by whoring herself out for the sake of her career, and now she is trying to get you to raise another man's baby, when you dont even want kids.
On the othe... (read in full...)
How do I cope? I think I love this teacher and I have been having very sexually graphic dreams about this teacher?
Q. Well , first of all , i dont know why or how this happened because i dont really know this person , ok, so there's this geography teacher and when i first moved to this school. i got her for geography , but i can hardly remember anything from that ...
A. 17 August 2012: As you already know nothing can happen between you and the teacher because it is illegal and she would lose her job, then go to prison.
This is not love, because you cannot love someone you dont know. To be truly in love with someone you need to ... (read in full...)
We seek each other once a week. He wants to change the way I dress. Is that controlling?
Q. My boyfriend and I love each other a whole lot. He loves spending time with me and always tries to make time for me. I love spending time with him too, but unfortunately we get the chance to meet just once a week. he asked me to change my clot...
A. 17 August 2012: Yes you should be worried, no-one should try and change anything about you if they genuinely love you. Saying you 'have to dress beautiful' is a very odd thing to say, it suggests that he doesnt think you dress very well and that you need to be told ... (read in full...)
I'm so confused. I want to love her, But she says she is a lesbian now!
Q. I have this best friend i met for 3 years and have a crush for 2. We are very open with each other and are constantly each other's emotional back up. When she breaks up with another boyfriend, i'm there, when she finds out a guy she loved was ...
A. 16 August 2012: I think she is just a very confused young girl who doesnt really know what she wants. I presume she is the same age as you (13-15), and at that age you shouldnt be having sex anyway so it is normal for her not to feel much lust.
When girls ar... (read in full...)
I told him I loved him and I'm not sure what to think now, any advice would help!
Q. I know it might sound ackward to some of you but believe me, this is the truth. Since ive reached the puberty stage and really starting to experience feelings (that s when i was 14), i somehow fell inlove with a guy who s 2 years older than me. We ...
A. 16 August 2012: I think you just came on way too strong and scared him off, so try and learn a lesson from this for when you are next talking to a guy you like. You cannot love someone you have never even spoke to face to face, yes you like him a lot and think he ... (read in full...)
Why did he do this? He has blocked my number, blocked me from his facebook and on other social network site
Q. Dear Cupid My bf of 2 years always put me down whenever he talks to me, he talks as if im invalid, good for nothing,uses me just for my money. I had enough and i told him im not going to call him anymore. I thought he might chnage his ways...
A. 16 August 2012: He has simply accepted your break up, he doesnt want to change instead he would rather the relationship ended.
You were not happy with him, I know you loved him but it sounds like he treated you very badly so you know what, you are better o... (read in full...)
He's a monster who treated me horribly, will they have a happy ending? I feel sick!
Q. Dear everyone. I'm in bits. I have been with my ex for about 3.5 yrs(off and on) and for the past 2 months he had grown increasingly distant. I knew he had been working alot but he never had time to see me, yet he still said he loved me. I had seen...
A. 16 August 2012: I very much doubt they will have a happy ending, she should trust her instincts and not bother with this awful man because they started their relationship so badly. When a relationship starts in a manner like this, where she was the other woman, ... (read in full...)
My man on the side says it hurts him to think of my husband and I in the house together. Could that be true?
Q. I have been in a long term (14 yr) relationship and have two children. I married just 8 months ago. I have met another guy and have been secretly seeing him for 5 months of this marriage. I feel terrible and have tried telling my husband that we ...
A. 16 August 2012: Of course it is hurtful for him to think of you with your husband, you are playing happy families with your husband and kids while your guy on the side has to sit and wait to get any time with you at all. He clearly has strong feelings for you, so ... (read in full...)
I am about ready to just tell him that I don't want to talk to him until we can be together again in the same city because I can't spend my time just waiting around for him. Is this a good or bad idea?
Q. My boyfriend and I are having to spend our summer vacation apart, long distance and when school starts, we'll be able to spend our time together again. He tends to have his whole day filled up with lots of things to do, really enjoying his vacation. ...
A. 16 August 2012: I think it is a very bad idea, you cant just stop communicating with someone you are supposed to be in a relationship with just because you are jealous he is having fun!
Have you tried talking to him and telling him that it is hurtful when he ... (read in full...)
Why did she say I could call but then not answers? Reluctance? Or family life needed her time?
Q. Ok so I met this girl a few years ago on a dating site and went out for a couple weeks then I kinda pushed her away and stopped talking. However a few weeks ago I came across her again on the site and said hi and apologized how I acted back then. S...
A. 16 August 2012: Maybe she is getting her own back for the way you treated her back then? You were hot and cold with her a few years ago, so perhaps she is giving you a taste of your own medicine.
Or alternatively she may have changed her mind about seeing y... (read in full...)
Why? What to do? He does not want to discuss any plans to move in yet, nor any plans to buy property nor propose, nor have children?
Q. Hi, I'm in a 4 yr, faithful relationship. We share a lot in common, and our future goals are a strong match. We have had a few major issue with his parents not accepting me and intentionally going out of there way to break us up. We stayed t...
A. 16 August 2012: The most worrying part of this is when he has said its ok if you want to go on a date with another man - it clearly shows his lack of care or loyalty to you and this relationship. It does make you wonder if he is trying to let you down gently, ... (read in full...)
Can you help me understand this?
Q. My ex-husband and I split up he reached the mid-life crisis and went to town, I mean the whole nine yards ....went on dating sites, new car, new clothes, abandoned his family after 21 years of marriage....he has never been the same again, needless ...
A. 15 August 2012: We cant tell you what happened I'm afraid, have you tried asking him? Perhaps if you explained to him that you understand the marriage is over but it would really help you to move on if he could explain what motivated him to change his life so ... (read in full...)
What can I do? Things seem troubled and I am not sure I want to be his partner any more
Q. Hello and thank you for reading this. I'm not sure if I want to be with my partner anymore. My fiance and I have been together for 13 months, and are renting a room together this friday (moving in together) My fiance is kind to my family and ...
A. 15 August 2012: He is a very controlling person and I dont think this relationship is going to work I'm afraid, if you stay with him this will only get worse and you will end up with no life. He will end up making you push your friends and family away, in a job you ... (read in full...)
How do I handle my parent's suspicions over all the times I want to sleep-over at my friend's home?
Q. For the past week, I have been leaving the house I share with my parents at 7 am and coming home at around 10 - 11 pm. This whole thing is very unusual for me. I have gone nowhere and done nothing all summer. I work and come home. Now I work, and ...
A. 15 August 2012: Unfortunately while you live under their roof you have to live by their rules - if you dont like it well you will have to move out.
They are only concerned about your safety when they ask for emergency numbers etc, parents worry that you might be... (read in full...)
There's this guy. And he's cheating on his girlfriend.. with me!
Q. There's this guy. And he's cheating on his girlfriend.. with me. I'm the other girl. I honestly love him and think he's the one. However, he told me he's thinking of breaking up with his girlfriend to be with me, but he hasn't yet. and...
A. 14 August 2012: You have to end this relationship for your own sake. This is the classic behaviour of a cheater - he tells you what you want to hear because he knows that is what keeps you hooked (i.e. "I will leave her for you" etc) whereas he actually has no ... (read in full...)
Am I a fool for staying with someone who still can tell their ex they love them too when they can't say that to me?
Q. I have been with the same guy for a year and half. He has always said he had love for me but also has love for his ex. I recently discovered some text that I might not should have from his ex talking about their sexual past. They don't live in ...
A. 14 August 2012: We are all fools in love really, and if you love him well you cannot help who you love can you? But staying with him clearly isnt making you happy, after all your partner loves another person and that is always going to be hurtful.
I personal... (read in full...)
Is it fair to ask my boyfriend to pay the bills if he moves in and pay no rent?
Q. Would it be fair to ask for my boyfriend to pay all bills (electricity, gas and water) if he moved in with me? I have a house but have a mortgage. He is wanting us to live together but only gives me options of selling or renting mine out and get...
A. 14 August 2012: Why wont you sell your house and buy one with your partner? I actually think he isnt being unreasonable here, he wants to buy a house with you so that he can share it with you and start a new life with you, rather than just being a lodger in your ... (read in full...)
Why is my partner even considering her ex? Why did her ex show up now after four years of being away?
Q. I need help any body please. my problem is im with a great person who has helped me get through alot and i helped her through alot in the last 7 months. we have been dating since march and out of the blue her ex husband calls her asking for f...
A. 13 August 2012: He might be sorry, or he might be lonely and just wants some company, he might just want sex.....there could be loads of reasons why he has called her.
But you shouldnt be worrying about that - it shouldnt matter why he called. What matters ... (read in full...)
He has depression but is that any way to treat me? He's horrible and calls me nasty names.
Q. My partner is and has suffered from depression for years (way before i met him but i didnt know about it for a while after we met.) his temper lately has been awful and he swears at me and calls me horrible names. he has even told me he doesnt want ...
A. 13 August 2012: Yes this is too much, he sounds very ill and needs help but it is no excuse to be taking it out on you. Is he seeing a doctor for his depression? Is he seeing a counsellor as well as taking medication?
If he is saying he doesnt want to live any... (read in full...)
Friend and I fell out. OK with me. But what do I do about a wedding we will both be attending? Don't want our issues to spoil bride's day.
Q. My friend of twenty years and I had a terrible falling out. Now two years later, she wants to rehash everything, but I don't. Leading up to the "break up," we had grown apart, but I was taken by surprise with her decision to end it (via email). ...
A. 13 August 2012: I think you have 2 options really -
1. Send her an email to explain that there is no hope of rebuilding this friendship and you have moved on, but you hope that for the sake of the wedding in December you will be able to be civil to each other and ... (read in full...)
I'm five months pregnant but he made me walk 8 miles plus home. I love him but he stresses me. Should I give him up?
Q. Hello everyone. I am 17 years old and I'm pregnant. I am 5 months pregnant and the boy who got me pregnant was my boyfriend of a year. He has now decided to choose alcohol and drugs over me and my little girl. I'm not really sure as to what I s...
A. 13 August 2012: You need to put yourself and your baby first - and this means getting this guy out of your life. While he is hooked on alcohol and drugs he is only going to let you down and hurt you, he needs to sort himself out before he can be the partner you ... (read in full...)
Am I just staying for the security?
Q. I don't know what to do I've fallen for my friend, basically after discovering my partner had an affair I turned to a friend for emotional support. At first it was all innocent but now I feel that I want more I love my partner and would never betr...
A. 1 August 2012: Well you kind of already have betrayed your partner just like he did with you, you are having an emotional affair and that is just as bad as having sex with someone else. You have romantic feelings for this friend, so you are betraying your partner ... (read in full...)
If I started dating to spice up my marriage would that be cuckolding my husband?
Q. AS a joke my husband took and posted few photos of me on the internet. Over time he received loads of request for more and after telling me what he did it became a real turn-on for us both. I later started a web-site and the request for more, gifts ...
A. 1 August 2012: These are not men who want to 'date' you, these men are visiting a porn site to get their kicks over an attractive woman. If they met you they would expect sex, not dating! So you are basically asking the question "Is it ok to have sex with men I've ... (read in full...)
Is my brother's best friend actually flirting with me?
Q. So I'm 15, and my brother is 22. His friend works at the same place as my brother and went to school with his as a kid but was two years younger. He is 20 years old. When I first met him at my brothers work he was really nice and seemed to be ...
A. 1 August 2012: He is flirting with you yes, but he knows you are too young so he is not going to follow through on his flirting.
I wouldnt worry about it too much, it is a bit of flirting and a bit being protective of his friend's little sister. Even when you... (read in full...)
What in the world is going on with him?
Q. So this is what's going on: My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 2 weeks. He already has told his parents he loves me, and has told me the same. I'm not sure if that is a good or a bad thing or if I should be worried about it. He's not ...
A. 1 August 2012: It sounds like he is moving very fast here, and that is a bit worrying, but he might just be really happy he has met you and perhaps that is why he is pushing everything so quickly.
How do you feel about him? Do you love him after only 2 weeks? O... (read in full...)
How can I help my boyfriend keep a stable job?
Q. How can I help my boyfriend, he hasn't been able to hold a job for longer than three to six months. He keeps getting let go and it seems to me for the most ridiculous reasons, such as talking too much and too loudly.I've been with him for about a ...
A. 1 August 2012: There is nothing you can do I'm afraid, your boyfriend needs to change his behaviour at work in order to be more sucessful. Unless you work with him you will never know what he is like at work, while you see him in a certain way when you are ... (read in full...)
Advantages and disadvantages of dating a younger man?
Q. Ladies, what do you think about dating a younger man? One of my friends recently broke up with her ex and began dating her current boyfriend one month later. He ex is 1 year younger than her and her boyfriend is 2 years younger than her. I know the ...
A. 1 August 2012: If the age gap is only 1 or 2 years, then there are very few advantages/disadvantages because they are so close in age to you. However if that gap starts getting bigger, around 4 or 5 years, then you will really notice the immaturity and you will ... (read in full...)
Could it be he really doesn't want to get married?
Q. My boyfriend is 41 and has never been married. We have been together for a year. When I ask him if he sees himself getting married in the future his response is "maybe, I'm not sure". I would think that by 41 you would know if you wanted to get ...
A. 31 July 2012: Maybe it is a case of at age 41 he has been dating so long that he struggles to ever see himself married, but he wont rule it out either. Some men can be bachelors for so long that they struggle to ever see themselves married, but that doesnt mean ... (read in full...)
In order to be with him I've been lying to my family.
Q. hi im 18 and my boyfriend is 35. i have not.told.my.parents yet as they do not like the idea of age diffrrences when.it comes to relationships. ive never been with an.older man before so when my parents found out for the first time they freake...
A. 31 July 2012: There is no good way of telling them - they are never going to be happy with this so no matter how nicely you tell them they will not support you.
Keep in mind they are your parents, and while you are living under their roof you are their re... (read in full...)
How did you pick you wedding bands?
Q. Hi! This is a very shallow question but here it is. So, I'm getting married soon. Fiancé and I are going to pick up wedding bands this weekend. We both agreed we like them platinum, but I think I'd rather have it gold, you know, real yellow gold ...
A. 31 July 2012: The ring screams 'married', not the colour of it. And why is 'screaming married' important anyway? Why is it so important to make it as obvious as possible? The traditional thing to do is actually for the man not to wear a wedding band, it should ... (read in full...)
Dad will disinherit me if I marry my guy. Is my Dad just being paranoid about my Fiance? Or does he have a point?
Q. Hi! Last night I told my estranged father I'm getting married in the Fall. He threw a fit and said if I do he will disinherit me and we won't talk anymore. When I asked him why he said that if we got divorced I'd have to support him financially ...
A. 31 July 2012: ImmortalPrincess is right, you have more to gain by marrying the man you love rather than doing as your dad tells you. Love is more important than money, and if both you and your fiance have good jobs then you can build a good life of your own where ... (read in full...)
How do I choose the right person to date?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm in my early 20s and feel like I am not being very good at dating. So far, I have dated two guys and I just felt like every time something was missing. I know I am ready for dating but also for a relationship. But, how do I go abou...
A. 31 July 2012: I think your mindset is all wrong here, there is no point in trying to attract someone who you have chemistry with because often chemistry can take a little while to develop!
The only thing to know about meeting new people is this - be open min... (read in full...)
Does he still want this to continue?
Q. Hi Aunts. This is about a married man i have been seeing for about 7yrs, No judgements please,but i would like you insight on this He knows that i love him but he will only say to me,you know my situation,I can't give you more than i do,but obvious...
A. 31 July 2012: I'm sure the answer is yes, he would love to carry on having an affair because he has gotten away with it for 7 years, so why would he want to stop now?
The only person who will ever be able to stop this is YOU - unless his wife finds out and thre... (read in full...)
We both love each other but I am jealous about the men he hooks up with!
Q. I am 18 and have been seeing a boy on and off for well over 2 and a half years. We're both in love with each other but about 9 months ago I found out that he thinks he's bisexual. At first I was so shocked and thought he was jokin with me. We had a ...
A. 30 July 2012: Janniepeg is right - you are just his 'show girlfriend', showing the world that he is straight so he can keep his gay activities a secret.
The thing that screamed out at me was the fact that sex has stopped for you now, and it is only oral (wh... (read in full...)
Fallen in love with my teacher. What should I do? She looks at me too.
Q. i am 13 year old girl and have fallen in love with my new german teacher ( she is female) i think she knows because in an asemberly all my frends said she was looking at me and when me and my freinds and i were sat out side and she kept lookin at us ...
A. 30 July 2012: This is just a crush sweetie, it will pass eventually. I know it feels like love at the moment, but love can only happen between two people that are in a relationship. Any feelings you have for someone before you get into a relationship is only a ... (read in full...)
He makes no effort to contact me and its now been 2 weeks. What do I say if he contacts me?
Q. I'm in my early 20s and have been seeing a 31 yo man on and off for the past year and a half. I was a little wary at first about even meeting him from an online dating website because he might be looking for something serious (ie a wife). But, I ...
A. 30 July 2012: Quite simply he is 'just not that into you'. I learnt this the hard way, in a very similar situation to you. I was dating a 31 year old when I was 23/24, I fell for him hard and wanted badly to make things official, but I didnt want to pressure him ... (read in full...)
My husband disrespected me, should I go back to him?
Q. My husband is 4 years older than me, we got 3 kids together he's a great father and a loving husband, he's such a nice guy, meaning he's always out there somewhere letting other women cry on his shoulders whenever they in need for someone to talk ...
A. 30 July 2012: The problem is that he is a complete hypocrite - he thinks of you as his possesion so you cannot do a single thing to upset him, but he has one rule for you and one rule for himself.
I dont think you should go back to him at all, you have giv... (read in full...)
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