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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Who is right for me, my ex who calls me a big sh**t or the lovely new guy?
Q. I need a litle help... this is a complex story and my head heart and body mind all torn! Well, I met my boyfriend november 2009 we were so happy both dairy farmers and so much in common going everywher together, now I had personal problems at home...
A. 7 September 2012: Let me give you this word of warning - if you meet with your ex, regardless of whether or not it is just 'talking', you will ruin your relationship with your new guy and pretty much put the nail in the coffin there and then. You will ruin the trust ... (read in full...)
Thinking about her sleeping with guys who have bigger penises than me is driving me mad!
Q. Ok so my fiancé and I had takin a break for 3 weeks about a year ago. During that she was hanging out with a guy she had texted when we had broke up for couple days a few months prior. The text were about how they wanted to hook up. But when we got ...
A. 7 September 2012: Sex with men who have a big penis is often very painful, uncomfortable and not the most enjoyable experience for a woman. Women's vagina's are roughly 4 inches long, so any man that is longer than 4 inches is simply hitting the woman's cervix which ... (read in full...)
When will it be safe again to have sex without extra precautions?
Q. just over two weeks ago i was taking my pill, with the only drink i could get hold of, coke, and i am unsure whether i swallowed it, bear in mind it was a can of coke and i could not see inside. so just incase how long should i take extra ...
A. 7 September 2012: As long as you have used extra precautions for 7 days after the incident then you should be fine. If you say it has now been 2 weeks, you have used your extra precautions and have had a period as normal then you should be 100% ok to have sex as ... (read in full...)
Who is right for me, my ex who calls me a big sh**t or the lovely new guy?
Q. I need a litle help... this is a complex story and my head heart and body mind all torn! Well, I met my boyfriend november 2009 we were so happy both dairy farmers and so much in common going everywher together, now I had personal problems at home...
A. 7 September 2012: Of course you shouldnt give up on the chance of having this farm, you need to follow your dreams and do what makes YOU happy, forget what he wants and put yoursef first for a change.
Many abusive, controlling men often put on an act at first to... (read in full...)
My friend told her I like her and now things have changed, where do I go from here?
Q. Ok.. There is a girl i have been friends with for 6 years and we would talk amd hang out at lunch break and stuff, and i have liked her for the past year. But i dont know where im supposed to go from here because my friend told her that i liked her ...
A. 6 September 2012: You have 2 options now she knows that you like her:
1. Apologise for what your friend said and tell her that you dont want it to ruin your friendship, and can she ignore what he said so you can go back to being friends like before.
2. Tell her... (read in full...)
I feel trapped because I can't find my true love for him? What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating 2.5 years now! He just went on vacation with my family and I for a week and we had a blast. I've been spending more time with him and when this happens and I'm with him a lot I feel content. He is my first "real" ...
A. 6 September 2012: I think you are just confusing yourself, you say yourself that you love him:
"I love him SO much and to this day I wake up every morning thinking about how lucky I am to be with him."
That is your true love, there is no more love beyond that... (read in full...)
I'm stuck on a guy from 3 years ago
Q. Hey dear agony aunts, I see that lately I have been obsessing wayy too much about this guy I had my first kiss with,and I don't knw why..it happened 3 years ago and all of a sudden I saw him and can't stop thinking about him,I check his statuses...
A. 6 September 2012: Maybe it is worth telling him how you feel one last time, just so you can get some closure. Perhaps he would like to try again, but if he doesnt feel the same at least hearing it from him directly will put the final nail in the coffin so to speak, ... (read in full...)
Who is right for me, my ex who calls me a big sh**t or the lovely new guy?
Q. I need a litle help... this is a complex story and my head heart and body mind all torn! Well, I met my boyfriend november 2009 we were so happy both dairy farmers and so much in common going everywher together, now I had personal problems at home...
A. 6 September 2012: I think you know deep down that your ex is so wrong for you.
You have 2 choices her, the emotionally abusive, controlling and selfish ex boyfriend. Or the new man who treats you well and treats you how you should be treated. So what do you want... (read in full...)
How can I study for an exam and attend a wedding that are both in the same month?
Q. Hey everyone, This is not a love related question but you guys are soo sensible I decided to reach out to you.. I have an important exam in december it literally decided my life,and who I will become..but I think my family they don't seem to ca...
A. 6 September 2012: Your sister is allowed to get married when she wants you know, she doesnt have to rule her life around you. Yes your exam is important and will impact your future, but her wedding is equally important and that also has a massive impact on her ... (read in full...)
What should I do if you are nervous and have anxiety on a new job
Q. I have been so nervous and having a little anxiety. I need some advice. I just started a new job and I am scared; I am afraid of messing up and having my other employees angry and frustrated. I don't want to be embarrassed.I am also afraid to ask ...
A. 6 September 2012: ALWAYS ask for help if you dont know how to do something. You have a window when you are a new employee to ask LOTS of questions, so that you learn everything you need to know. When you are new, your boss and other employees expect you to ask ... (read in full...)
Should I get the gastric bypass surgery done?
Q. I'm 16 almost 17, I have always been overweight and at this time in my life I think I'm ready to move forward and start working to lose my weight. I'm in the 300s and I'd really love to lose this. I know people are going to say your young and w...
A. 6 September 2012: You are exactly right in your last comment - many people have the surgery, lose the weight, but end up putting it all back on. Surgery is not a quick fix, nor is it a guarantee that you are going to stay slim forever. It is also incredibly dangerous ... (read in full...)
A baby 3 months ago. So why do I feel so dispirited all the time? Should I start afresh, or is there other options?
Q. So had a baby been together for two years and I dont think I want to be with him anymore.I love him but I'm falling out of love. Lately I've been sleeping on the couch in the living room, I dont enjoy kissing him or being all cuddly with him. I dont ...
A. 4 September 2012: I agree with Abella, it sounds very likely that you have Post Partum Depression. Please seek help from a doctor immediately, this is very common for new moms to experience but you need to be treated for it as soon as possible. Once you have been ... (read in full...)
He has also been going to his ex girlfriends house.. Is it something I did? Do I say something?
Q. I have been seeing this guy who's my friend's brother. He is a lot older than me and when we started seeing each other i said i wasnt interested because he had a girlfriend but he reassured me they werent together he told me he really liked me...
A. 4 September 2012: You havent done anything wrong, you just were used for sex by an older man who (most likely) never split up with his girlfriend and was seeing you behind her back.
All you have done wrong is lacked judgement and picked a nasty guy to spend yo... (read in full...)
I'm a male teacher. How do I handle an aggressive 13 year old female student?
Q. I am a male secondary school teacher (I'm 26). One of my female students keeps staring at me and flicking her hair and calling me over to her desk. She's 13. I try not to look at her inappropriately. She always flirts and makes me feel awkward. What ...
A. 4 September 2012: As all the other aunts have said, tell your superior immediately. It is so easy for teachers to get the blame when it is actually the child acting inappropriately, so the sooner you tell a senior member of staff the better. She will be taken aside, ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and I'm pregnant by my 15 year old B/f who talked me into sex. What do I do now?
Q. Hey!:) Ok, I have a huge problem and really need some help! I'm 14 years old, and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 months. He is 15, and in the year above me at school. At the beginning of the relationship, everything was absoutol...
A. 4 September 2012: First of all I'm so sorry this has happened to you, your boyfriend is an awful awful person and I cant imagine how scared you must be at the moment. It is great that you have a friend to support you, but she is probably the same age as you so she ... (read in full...)
Who can I talk to about getting cosmetic surgery?
Q. Who can I talk to about getting cosmetic surgery? I don't want to talk to a surgeon because they'll only tell me facts about what I want to get done. When I look at forums specifically for this, all the people there are always like "go for it" and ...
A. 31 August 2012: I agree with the first female anonymous post - if you are depressed and have self esteem issues then seek help from a counsellor/therapist before you get any surgery. They will help you get to the bottom of your self esteem issues and will be able ... (read in full...)
My ex now flirts with me and claims he married his new wife for the wrong reasons
Q. im 23 years old and a single mom. my sons father and i didnt work out because we had a lot of resentment towards each other during the pregnancy. now that we have gone through court and its been a few years for us to mature some we realize the mist...
A. 31 August 2012: "If they dont work out" is a bit vague - he is basically asking you to keep on waiting until he gets bored with his wife and decides to come back to you. You could be waiting months, or you could be waiting years, is that really what you want? Do ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's cheating ex is coming over to stay with her and I'm not cool with it!
Q. Please help?! I met this girl a few months ago on a dating website. Anyway I totally fell for her. I'm in love with her. She totally blew me away. However there has been a few situations. Please let me explain. I have on 3 separate occasions c...
A. 31 August 2012: No you are not over-reacting at all. She is having her 'sleazy ex' to stay over in her house, just the two of them. And you know she cant be trusted as she keeps breaking her promises and going back on the dating site - it is pretty clear what is ... (read in full...)
Is this really a 'break'? Or is this essentially a 'break up'?
Q. My GF initiated a 'break' five days ago. She insists she loves me and sees a future with me but has lost her sense of identity during our 2+ year relationship and thinks a 'break' is the only thing to do to regain her sense of self and save ou...
A. 24 August 2012: Well I am 25, and have not been on a break with ANY boyfriend since I was 15/16. All of my other female friends are also in long term relationships (some married) and NONE of them have ever had a break with their current long term partners. They ... (read in full...)
But he's had the same Gf for 4 years. So what can I do? He's older than me. There is an attraction between us.
Q. Hey guys, i've got a situation that i'd really love some help with. So i've been getting to know a guy recently whos quite a lot older than me (im 17). However, our personalities just click.. He makes me laugh, and we just get on so well. We have ...
A. 24 August 2012: This girl isnt just his 'date' - this is his long term girlfriend of 4 years!
He sounds like a total creep to be honest - how much older than you is he? If he's sitting you on his lap, cuddles you and puts his arms around your waist a lot I wo... (read in full...)
He's so much taller than me, will this work?
Q. This guy i've met we get along really well as if we've known each other a lot longer than the past couple weeks, we like the same things so we have a fair amount in common. He's really sweet and fun to be around, and good thing is he's funny in such ...
A. 24 August 2012: I'm 5"3 and was in a long term relationship with a guy who was 6"3 and we had no problems at all, I never felt I had to wear heels all the time and he thought it was cute when I stood on my tiptoes when I kissed him. It honestly isnt a problem ... (read in full...)
How can an ex lover and ex Boyfriend successfully become a friend? Or am I wasting my time caring about him?
Q. I have a Ex-boyfriend who I still have feelings for AND miss. When I first started him he was very generous AND kind as he still is. I was scared to get too close to him because we were very different with out race, religion, AND race. From p...
A. 24 August 2012: You know you cant be friends with him because of how much it hurts you, you still have feelings for him and want to be more than friends. Until your feelings completely go away, and never come back, then you cant be friends. Simple as that.
Cut h... (read in full...)
I need a plan for a first date.
Q. I recently went out on a date with a girl who's number I got at a local coffee shop. It wasn't anything crazy, just a casual late lunch at this bar and grill place (which is good because she said she doesn't like fancy restaurants). It went really ...
A. 24 August 2012: I personally would feel a little uncomfortable going to a party on a second date, you might be moving a bit too fast for her by introducing your friends to her already. Your first few dates should be just the two of you rather than in a big group of ... (read in full...)
Is this really a 'break'? Or is this essentially a 'break up'?
Q. My GF initiated a 'break' five days ago. She insists she loves me and sees a future with me but has lost her sense of identity during our 2+ year relationship and thinks a 'break' is the only thing to do to regain her sense of self and save ou...
A. 24 August 2012: Basically if you are an adult in a serious, committed relationship then you cannot 'take a break'. You cant just set aside your feelings for a short time, ignore the person you claim to love and then pick it back up again when you are ready like ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend likes to look at my sister's fake boobs, but when I said I wanted fake boobs he flipped out!
Q. Okay so short story.... My sister had tons of ummm "sexy" pictures on her computer.... Nude, and she has fake boobs..... Well my boyfriend of over a year decides to be a dick and goes on her computer and emails himself some of the nude photos!!! I ...
A. 23 August 2012: Putting the fact that he emailed the pictures to himself aside for a minute - I will address the 'why doesnt he want me to get fake boobs' issue first.
He obviously likes looking at big boobs, hence why he stares at your sister - but looking ... (read in full...)
So I've 'Given him a lot to think about'? What's that? A ploy to give me hope? Or goodbye?
Q. So, I met this guy at my college in April, and we've been talking and hanging out for the last few months. Things have been going well, and over time I developed feelings for him. I decided to tell him how I felt a couple days ago after we saw a ...
A. 23 August 2012: He has made it clear he is not ready for a relationship at the moment, and has made it clear to you he is happy with the situation you have at the moment i.e. hanging out and spending time together.
He is not trying to brush you off, and I think ... (read in full...)
When a man treats his woman well: When did it become okay to commit or marry but then show no interest in a sex life with your man?
Q. I am talking about women in serious relationships who act like their man has no right to expect a decent sex life from them. Before you jump on me with the claws out, please listen to what I am saying and what I am not. I am not saying anyth...
A. 23 August 2012: Quite simply, it is not ok, it has never been ok and if you have somehow ended up with a woman who thinks that sex is not an important part of the relationship well you have made a poor choice in partner I'm afraid.
I think it we are all sensible... (read in full...)
I uprooted my life for my ex-girlfriend, and have lost it all. Now what?
Q. Several years ago, I moved from a different city and state to be with my girlfriend, who I was dating long distance at the time. We met one weekend while I was visiting my hometown, and hit it off very well. After a year of long distance dating, I ...
A. 23 August 2012: I know it could seem like you have given up everything for your ex, and it is a shame that it didnt work out - but at the time it was the right decision for you because you loved her and wanted the relationship to work.
Relationships are risky an... (read in full...)
He is a true gentleman. Am I worrying too much due to past experiences in relationships?
Q. Hi, I have begun a relationship with a wonderful man but need advice on a small matter. Every time we have a date, he will walk with me to my nearest transport stop - whether bus or train - before saying goodbye and going on his journey home We...
A. 23 August 2012: I wouldnt put a stop to this, because if you told him he doesnt have to walk you to your stop then he might feel like you dont appreciate the behaviour and will stop other gentlemanly behaviours.
At the end of the day if he really had no time and... (read in full...)
Women: Why do you stay with your man?
Q. how do you keep a woman? please im asking this advice to women who are married or have been with someone long term, why do you stay with your man? I am in a relationship with a girl i love very much, and yes we have our ups and downs but i alwa...
A. 22 August 2012: There is no real secret to how marriages last long term - some marriages can only last a couple of years, some can last 25+ years, or taking my parents as an example - they had been together 24 years and my dad decides to cheat! Thankfully they ... (read in full...)
Men: Why can't you just say "I'm not that into you?"
Q. Hello, I'm 48 and feel like I should have this relationship stuff all figured out, not the case at all. Also, it does not matter your age when you feel strongly about that special person-your heart still feels like a 16 y/o girl. I met this m...
A. 22 August 2012: I have just given the exact same piece of advice to a male as I'm about to give to you (here is the question - http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-makes-girls-act-like-this.html)
Both men and women do this, it is not limited to one sex. And... (read in full...)
What makes girls act like this?
Q. Hey guys. Thanks for ur answers because im in desperate need for advice. I had been talking to this girl for about a month and everything's was fine. We talked daily and went to see a movie a.couple weeks after seeing eachother, her friends ...
A. 22 August 2012: Both guys and girls behave like this, this isnt just girls! Basically if someone (male or female) changes their mind about the person they are seeing/dating i.e. they decide that they dont want to carry on dating that person, then they ignore them ... (read in full...)
What to do? This other girl unleashes my inner beast!
Q. So this is a long question but I really dont know what to do and i need some major help before i make a decision ill regret. Background story: I used to have feeling for this one girl, but she was a train wreck because she recently (then) ...
A. 22 August 2012: It sounds to me this is a classic case of young person, whose only had 1 relationship, wants to play the field a bit before they settle down. Both men and women go through this, and it is very common when they go away to college/Uni.
You have to ... (read in full...)
I'm falling for a teacher!
Q. Okay, so there is a teacher at my school, who teaches another grade. He's 27 and I really like him. He speaks to me like I'm an adult and he's super sweet to everyone. After school sometimes; he runs a thing for little kids to play around. My friend ...
A. 22 August 2012: I'm sure you understand that aged 14 you cannot have a relationship with a teacher because he would lose his job, go to prison and probably never be able to work again because he would have a criminal record.
I understand you like this man, aft... (read in full...)
Have any other women used Cerazette before?
Q. I've just been put on the pill, cerazette. Thing is, I went round my friends last night and all of them said how they would avoid that pill because of the side effects and you experience really bad depression and gain so much weight and all these ...
A. 21 August 2012: If you went back to the doctor without even trying it then they wont let you change I'm afraid. If you wanted Yasmin (that's what I use) then you should have told the doctor when you went the first time.
I think you need to accept you are stuc... (read in full...)
I don't understand why is he acting this way?
Q. I met what seemed to be a really genuine guy on an online dating site. We spoke everyday for a week and arranged to meet. We had a fabulous first date and both agreed we clicked. We met up the next day and he came to my home and spent the night ...
A. 21 August 2012: You absolutely need some professional advice, as soon as possible. Sexual assault will stay with you for a very long time and is incredibly difficult to get over, so seeing a therapist and a doctor will be hugely beneficial for you.
You should n... (read in full...)
Too soon to share past sexual history? It scared me. Do ALL guys do this during online relationships?
Q. Is this a red flag?...I just started talking to someone I met online, and things were going great until he starts asking me about what is the most wildest and crazy thing I have done sexually. I didn't want to answer that because I feel that it ...
A. 20 August 2012: NO, not all guys do this!! Only the guys who want sex and sex only do this, nice guys who actually want to get to know you will never try and talk about kinky things online or via text.
Dont accept this kind of behaviour, tell him that you do n... (read in full...)
Is it wrong that I feel bad that he'd rather see me, when his friend came all that way to see him?
Q. I've been with my partner for just under a year, we've been friends for two. Yesterday a friend of his who he hasn't seen for a year due to living the other side of the world came to our town. He didn't really know what time he was meeting ...
A. 20 August 2012: Have you spoke to him about this? It is normal for people to change when they first get into a relationship, as you want to spend as much time together as possible. But now you have been together nearly a year, things should be settling down and he ... (read in full...)
I don't understand why is he acting this way?
Q. I met what seemed to be a really genuine guy on an online dating site. We spoke everyday for a week and arranged to meet. We had a fabulous first date and both agreed we clicked. We met up the next day and he came to my home and spent the night ...
A. 20 August 2012: There are 2 reasons why he dumped you:
1. He was only ever interested in sex, so when you slept with him on the 3rd date he got what he wanted, hence why he dumped you the next day
2. You revealed your inner demons far too early in the relation... (read in full...)
I met an older guy, I told him I'd call him and I didn't now he is ignoring me, Should I call him?
Q. Ive been spending a lot of time with my parents. While on one of our outings, I met a guy. He is a little older than me. I am 23 and he is probably in his mid-late 30s. The first occasion, he asked me for my name. The second time, he actually...
A. 20 August 2012: He is more than a 'little' older than you! He probably knows if he is in his late 30's that this wont go anywhere, he cant offer a 23 year old girl what she wants and he is old enough to know this. So he realised very quickly that when you didnt ... (read in full...)
I'm worried she will go back to her ex! How can I get through this?
Q. Hi I have now been living with my fiance but she was previous married with 3 kids and still going through her divorce. The problem is she sometimes goes into shut out mode and I know something's up so I ask. She tells me shes just thinking and ...
A. 20 August 2012: I'm sorry but you have almost invited this upon yourself - how on earth has this relationship moved so fast that you live with a woman (and are engaged to her) when she isnt divorced yet?
You have moved WAY too fast and have not allowed her time... (read in full...)
I don't want to move but I don't want to deny my mom better chances either! What do I do?
Q. hey every one recently my mother has decided that she is going to move away and its my choice if we do or not im very confused and angry that she put this on me i want to go i really do but i find it hard and scary about a place i have never seen ...
A. 20 August 2012: Well lets look at it this way:
1. You said yourself you want to go
2. They are waiting until you have finished school, so it cannot affect your grades - I presume they will wait until you have finished your GCSE's, and then you can do your A Le... (read in full...)
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