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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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My friend thinks this guy is too old for me but I could see him being my FWB
Q. A few weeks ago I went to the pub with my friend (20) her parents, her boyfriend (also 20) and her male friend from high school (who again is also 20) Her male friend had been flirting with me all night and when I had gone home, he messages me on ...
A. 1 March 2013: Why at your age do you want to get involved with a guy you are not attracted to? If you go around having FWB's aged 17 you will get a name for yourself, casual sex is just not cool and no guy will respect you in the future if you have been going ... (read in full...)
Is it him? Or I am too controlling towards my boyfriend?
Q. Im having problems with my boyfriend. We are one of those couples who have been through alot! one minute we are arguing the next minute were kissing and best friends again. But its always me who wants to work it out even if he's been really ...
A. 1 March 2013: Have you actually sat down at spoken to him about this? Have you asked him why he adds pretty girls on Facebook? Have you told him it upsets you?
I dont think you are being controlling, if you are in a committed long term relationship there is... (read in full...)
Need help shopping for the perfect engagement ring
Q. I'm starting the process of shopping for an engagement ring for my girlfriend. It seems like I've been reading up on them for hours, learning about the quality, cut and color. But I cannot seem to find a good way to determine carat size. I know th...
A. 28 February 2013: If you are buying the ring as a surprise then I wouldnt worry about the ring size, just buy the ring and then it can be adjusted afterwards to fit her finger.
In terms of carat, that is normally the major factor that determines price. So really i... (read in full...)
Is it true that if you've been hurt in a relationship you shouldn't compare others to your bad experience?
Q. I wont bother telling you the background of me and the girl I was dating for just about 3 months, I'm just interested by her comment and wanted to know what you guys can make of it... My best friend saw her last night and said he spoke to her and...
A. 28 February 2013: Well you are both right in some ways. Of course your past is going to affect you, if you have been hurt before it is human nature to be wary of the same thing hurting you again, so it means you will change your behaviour in order to avoid getting ... (read in full...)
In love with my ex's little brother
Q. I lived with my ex for 3 years, during those years 2 of them his younger brother lived with us... I was very close to his brother we spent way more time together, way more then with my boyfriend... Over the years I fell in love with him, but noth...
A. 28 February 2013: Well normally the answer would be to stay away as it is too complicated when there is an ex involved, however this was over 13 years ago so I'm actually inclined to say go for it!
I think you need a good face to face chat with the little brother ... (read in full...)
How will I ever get a boyfriend with my shyness and home situation?
Q. I'm a shy 17 year old girl and I have never had a boyfriend. Over the past year, I have gained a little bit of confidence and have started talking to boys more. I like this guy at college but i know that if we ever spoke I would get all nervous ...
A. 28 February 2013: You sound like a lovely girl, and you are doing a wonderful thing caring for your mum : )
Good people like you do get boyfriends, ok so it might not be right now if you are still building your confidence but one day you will meet someone,... (read in full...)
My boyfriend asked for a key to my apartment? Should I give it to him?
Q. My boyfriend asked for a key to my apartment. We visit each other's places often and sometimes he sleeps over or I sleep over at his place. We have been dating for 3 months. I do not want to live with him or have him live with me. He asked if ...
A. 28 February 2013: It would have been better for him to wait for you to offer, as this is a big step in the relationship. He would have been better to approach it by offering you a key to his apartment, to see if you would reciprocate rather than asking you for a key. ... (read in full...)
I've recently come out and I'm attracted to my friend. Do I tell her?
Q. I am quite tom boyish and have become very attracted to my close girl mate. She is very much into men but I can't help my feelings for her. This is very new to me as my relationships have always been with men and recently I have come out to some ...
A. 28 February 2013: I guess the easiest way to meet women would be to go to gay/lesbian clubs and bars, perhaps take a friend for moral support (but make sure you have come out to that friend first otherwise they will be in for a shock!).
I'm sure there will als... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was caught chatting up another girl over facebook. Do I dump him, or give him another chance?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 3 months now. So far are three months up to now had been perfect, no argueing, no fights, no huge issues, everything had been smooth and lovely. I was ...
A. 27 February 2013: Its not worth it - you are too young and the relationship is too new for this to be worth trying to save. Ok so if you had been together for years, it would be a different story - but if he cant control himself after only a couple of months being ... (read in full...)
Would you apologise again or just leave things as they are?
Q. Long story short, I made a bit of an ass of myself at my friend's 40th birthday party at the weekend. We all got together on Saturday and spent the weekend together, I only really know the husband and wife who were giving the party, the other...
A. 27 February 2013: I wouldnt bring it up in front of other people, but if you and the wife are alone at any point I'd just quietly say "sorry again for the other night, I feel terrible and I'm glad you are happy to draw a line under it and move on".
I agree th... (read in full...)
Does he actually like me and wants me to stick around?
Q. Basically I was seeing a guy I started to like to be honest he's the first guy iv liked for ages. We got on really well I met his family an he told me I'm the first girl he's brought to his familys house since his ex. He was really nice to me did t...
A. 27 February 2013: I think he was testing you, to see if you would have come back with something like this:
"No dont be silly, I like you a lot and I dont care what is going on with you at the moment, I'll stick around no matter what"
So when he got the response... (read in full...)
"My feelings haven't changed!" he said. What does he mean?
Q. So, went for a Chinese with work colleagues, one man got rather drunk and tried to kiss me at the bus stop, I pulled away and was stunned; gave him a lecture about how we were colleagues etc last night was the first time I've seen him since the ...
A. 27 February 2013: Well that's quite obvious - his feelings for you havent changed, i.e. he still likes you.
If you have flirted before, then its clear he likes you as more than a friend and on that drunken occasion the drink gave him the confidence to try and make... (read in full...)
I thought he liked me but now I think he's avoiding me
Q. Hi guys I wanted to ask how to stop thinking a lot about someone you have a crush on but the thing is I don't actually know this person I know it sounds creepy but he goes to my school and I think it was a love at first sight type of thing. This has ...
A. 27 February 2013: Maybe you were reading into signs that might not have actually meant anything, but then again he could have been interested - there is no way of knowing I'm afraid!
Can you try adding him on Facebook? That's an easy step if you are shy, you dont... (read in full...)
Is this guy into harmless flirting or is he using Facebook to pick up women?
Q. Ok so I know I'm not the only person with this problem!!. I'm dating this guy Who claims to be really into me. He tells me he misses me all the time, Good morning and good night texted everyday and we talk on the phone for hours! We have been on a ...
A. 27 February 2013: I guess he is flirting with these other women, saying 'looking good' and 'cute' to a woman is a compliment so on some level he is wanting to make her feel good and perhaps express his physical attraction for her.
However the problem with facebook... (read in full...)
What can I do? I'm scared my boyfriend's just gonna be like this the rest of his life
Q. My boyfriend is 24 years old. He dropped outta High School due to severe insomnia. He has no license, no job, and syill lives with his parents. He has big plans for his future but it seems he doesn't care to do anything about yet he always complains ...
A. 27 February 2013: Cerberus is right - there is nothing you can do. You are just a second Mom to him, providing an easy life where he doesnt need to lift a finger. He is a grown man, not a child and he knows exactly what he is doing. This is his lifestyle choice, and ... (read in full...)
I'm so scared we made a mistake. Yes we married. But was I his "last resort" choice?
Q. I met a man two years ago during a year long course. For the year he would follow me out for breaks, chat, flirt. I gave him my number and he called and invited me out. First night he told me about his drinking, drugs, problems with his dad, ch...
A. 27 February 2013: I cant really see what the issue is here - ok so he didnt treat you right at the start, but you forgave him and gave him your number on the 3rd occasion and ever since then its been fine.
Has he done anything since then to cause you not to trust... (read in full...)
Boyfriend broke up saying he had never felt like marrying me..something was wrong. I want him back though!
Q. My ex boyfriend and I celebrated our two year anniversary at the beginning of February and he dumped me over the phone 11 days later. We were in what I considered to be a very committed relationship--sure we had never talked about marriage but to ...
A. 27 February 2013: Well if I'm honest, after 2 years you should have been talking about the future - if all you had managed after 2 years was spending 10 days with his family then clearly it was going nowhere.
Not that I'm advocated rushing into things, complete... (read in full...)
I've recently come out and I'm attracted to my friend. Do I tell her?
Q. I am quite tom boyish and have become very attracted to my close girl mate. She is very much into men but I can't help my feelings for her. This is very new to me as my relationships have always been with men and recently I have come out to some ...
A. 27 February 2013: You already know she is into men, so it doesnt sound like you have a chance with her I'm afraid. If you tell her how you feel I would be 99% certain it would ruin your friendship because it would make it very awkward and she wouldnt feel comfortable ... (read in full...)
Do women date guys they have only met once or twice?
Q. Is it reasonable to date women if you have only met them once or twice? I ask this because I'm tired of "hanging out" in mixed sex groups and making friends with women instead of pursuing a relationship. I find this form of courtship useles...
A. 15 February 2013: I've never really been into 'hanging out' first, I find it a bit of a waste of time if the ultimate purpose is to be in a relationship. It is just delaying the inevitable!
I'm sure many girls would be open to going on a date with you if you have... (read in full...)
I snooped and confessed to my husband and now he doesn't trust me
Q. I have been married a while and things were good in the beginning. But I have always been insecure and get jealous and so that made out relationship rocky. He has more single lady friends then he has guy friends and he talks to a couple of theses ...
A. 14 February 2013: Erm well I wouldnt be worrying about how he can trust you again, I would be more worried about how can you trust him again!
HE WAS/IS IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. That is WAY more important than your snooping! You had every right to snoop, a... (read in full...)
Are all guys like this with their baby mamas? Or just my guy?
Q. I'm only 20 and in my first real relationship. We have been dating for 2 and a half years but he is 27 and has a kid. The thing is he always freaking calls his baby mama and what's worse anything she asks for she gets its horrible I don't know what ...
A. 14 February 2013: *mean to say 365 there!... (read in full...)
Are all guys like this with their baby mamas? Or just my guy?
Q. I'm only 20 and in my first real relationship. We have been dating for 2 and a half years but he is 27 and has a kid. The thing is he always freaking calls his baby mama and what's worse anything she asks for she gets its horrible I don't know what ...
A. 14 February 2013: You have given very little information on what he does and examples of situations with the baby mama so its hard to answer this question.
Is it unreasonable for her to drop the child off with its father on a Thursday? No not at all, however ... (read in full...)
I want to be more than his booty call!
Q. i met a guy 4 months ago started texting wich quickly moved on to sexting and naked pictures met him 8 days after meeting him and had sex with him 10 minutes later ive met up with him a further 2 times but always on his terms. i really really like ...
A. 14 February 2013: If you start out as a booty call I'm afraid you are never going to be able to change that as all he sees you as is easy sex whenever he wants it, you gave him sex and naked pictures very easily early on in this 'relationship' so he knows he doesnt ... (read in full...)
How can I tell whether or not he likes me? Mixed signals!
Q. Last week I met this boy I really like. We went out 2 days in a row in a group. On the first night he was really into me flirting and he was really nice and lent me his coat for the whole night and when I left that night he hugged and kissed m...
A. 14 February 2013: If he didnt ask for your number at the end of the night or asked you out to see you again, then I would say no he didnt like you that much.
He is obviously a big flirt, he was flirting with you one night and then another girl the next night, s... (read in full...)
I distanced myself from my possible FWB but am jealous that he is giving my friend attention.
Q. I started speaking to a guy around this time last year and at first i wasn't interested and so we stopped talking after a few weeks. Then we somehow started talking again around July 2012, that lasted until December 2012 as we suggested 'friends ...
A. 14 February 2013: It is natural for someone you have been involved with to feel a bit of jealousy when you see them with someone attractive. I'd be very surprised if you find any woman on earth who doesnt go on Facebook from time to time and look at their ex's and ... (read in full...)
I just feel so alone in the world, as if it's all my fault
Q. To make a long story short, I feel so alone. I'm a student at university and this year my housemate has decided that it's her or my boyfriend and after trying and trying to accommodate them both, with the problem (supposedly) being that he spent too ...
A. 14 February 2013: Ok important lesson to learn - housemates and boyfriends dont mix. EVER.
I experienced the same thing, time and time again - when you are living with friends or housemates they will ALWAYS get upset when you have your boyfriend round, no matter h... (read in full...)
My boyfriend found out I cheated on him while he was in prison and now our relationship is a mess!
Q. My man went to prison.I have been with him for ten years. I fell short I made the worst mistake ever an cheated on him. I was goin through alot of things when he was locked up along with a drug addiction. When he finally got out he came seen me ...
A. 14 February 2013: I think you need to sit down with him and tell him that he cannot keep punishing you for your mistake - tell him you know what you did was wrong, you know how much you hurt him and you deeply regret it, but he has to make a choice: either forgive ... (read in full...)
I’m terrified of getting my heart broken and it’s pushing everything I want away.
Q. my self worth is so low I am 18 years old and I have never been in a “relationship” i’ve never had anyone reciprocate love to me…I always give myself and my emotions to people but never get anything in return no one has ever gone out there ...
A. 13 February 2013: I think you are really over thinking things and need to relax a bit!
First of all, if you have never been in a relationship then you have never been in love - it is not possibleto truly love someone if you have never been in a real relation... (read in full...)
Are my fears valid? I am afraid that if I lose weight, I will get noticed just as a person up for sex and they will take no notice of my personality.
Q. Is anyone having a hard time losing weight, because they fear that they will attract guys/girls for the wrong reasons? I am significantly overweight, and am invisible to the opposite sex. I am perfectly presentable, and kind, and likeable othe...
A. 13 February 2013: There is actually an easy way to tell if a guy is a jerk or not regardless of what size you are - if you meet a guy, swap numbers, go on a date and then he pushes you for sex after the first date, then when you dont give him sex and he stops ... (read in full...)
Am I doomed for a lonely life because I am fat? Are all the good men shy? And can men see beyond the weight?
Q. I am fat, and I think that is why men don't notice me. I dress up, take extra precautions to be presentable, and work hard to not be a turn-off and seem friendly in general. I am pretty well educated, usually non-controversial, and can carry a ...
A. 13 February 2013: Well there are a lot of men out there who like fat women, ever heard of BBW (big beautiful women)? Well there are even dating sites set up for BBW dating, there are club nights in certain places for larger women and their male admirers.....so there ... (read in full...)
Am I cheating myself under this "settling" thing?
Q. After more daydreaming and thinking about my future, I am wondering if "settling" would be considered a negative thing at this point. I have wanted a relationship for over 10 years now, but it hasn't happened despite my efforts. The basic ...
A. 11 February 2013: This is difficult to answer - on the one hand, if you have really high standards and wont consider a girl (currently) unless she is drop dead gorgeous, earns a fortune in a highly sucessful career, is super intelligent and funny to boot....then ... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong? A friend had feelings for him. But he wasn't interested. Months later I went out with him. Now everyone is mad at me.
Q. I am 22 and in my final year of university. I have been living with the same group of girls since first year, and one of them had a crush on a guy who lived in our halls when she first met him. He didn't return her feelings, which she knew. ...
A. 11 February 2013: No you are not in the wrong at all, your flatmates are being very immature and silly. It is a shame that you didnt get to tell her first, perhaps that is the only area where you could be at blame for something, but giving your number to a guy who ... (read in full...)
I'm starting to think I have more feelings for my girlfriends daughter than for my girlfriend!
Q. I am a 26 yr old man currently dating a 43 yr old that has a 18 yr old daughter and 2 younger boys I am finding a hard time not becoming attracted to her now she is of age me and her mom have been together for a few years now what should I do I am ...
A. 11 February 2013: I really hope this is a joke.
Of couse the mother is not going to be ok with you having a relationship with her daughter, that is simply disgusting! Imagine if your dad split up from your mother, meets a new woman and dates both her and her daug... (read in full...)
Should I postpone our wedding? Things are so tense at the moment with his kids and I don't want to move into that kind of environment....
Q. Hi there. I'm engaged, my boyfriend is a bit older with sons of 14 and 12 who live with their mom and visit at weekends. Everything was fine over past 2 years, but recently he has huge rows with kids, I guess their age etc. Things get so tense it's ...
A. 11 February 2013: Well first things first - you agreed to be in a relationship with a man who has 2 children, you knew about them from early on so this cannot be a surprise to you. As someone who wants children, you obviously will be able to understand that teenagers ... (read in full...)
If we get together it will be a LDR, she is worried about our age gap and she already has a FWB....should I leave now before I invest any feelings into someone I have no chance with?
Q. Hey! I am 27 year old male with college degree and stable job. I am financially stable and have established lifestyle. I met a 20 year old girl on facebook and have been talking on the phone and through text. She is from Texas and I am from ...
A. 11 February 2013: I cannot think of a single reason why on earth you should continue talking to this girl - she is clearly so incredibly immature that giving up your entire life on a wing and a prayer would be beyond stupid.
Lets look at this closely:
1. She is... (read in full...)
I thought we wanted the same things. But he wants lots of changes. I'm struggling with this. Options? How to deal with this?
Q. There are a ton of HUGE things that are about to change with my husband and I, and I find myself questioning our relationship and whether or not were even compatible anymore. First off, he's telling me that he wants to quit his job and take ano...
A. 8 February 2013: Have you actually asked him why he cant get a job in the city but live where you are currently? What does he think when you tell him you dont want to waste money on renting when you own a house? What does he say when you tell him you dont want to ... (read in full...)
Does anyone have any tips to help me "shine" at the interview day and secure this dream job?
Q. Hi! I have been given the opportunity to attend an interview day for my dream job and it is in the same city as this guy I like. I really really want this job but I seem to be a very anxious person and mess up interviews. The last interview d...
A. 8 February 2013: Practice your maths as much as possible - that is the one area that you can practice easily between now and the test.
Make sure you learn A LOT about the company you are going to. Make sure you have read every page of their website, if they hav... (read in full...)
She went back to the baby's daddy, but I'm still wondering if there's hope
Q. Ok, my ex is back with her baby's daddy. Yet she told me she wishes she was with me, and was even gonna move out to be with me again. Then she just up and said she is staying with him. He just had his 3rd child, by the third different woman, 3 ...
A. 8 February 2013: I think she is playing games with you and she is too immature to really know what she wants.
However 1 thing you can be sure of - she has a child with this other man, and she has feelings for the other man. Having a child with someone creates ... (read in full...)
If you've moved on, is it permanent?
Q. My question is: Once people have moved on do they ever really come back? Have their feelings gone forever, or could there still be a chance? If someone has moved on from someone else because of fear (scared of developing a relationship), t...
A. 7 February 2013: I'd say most of the time if someone chooses to end a relationship, then the feelings have already started to go. To break up with someone there must be a good reason to do so, no-one goes through that kind of pain for fun. So if there is already a ... (read in full...)
We've been talking for a week and he says he's in love
Q. So i started talking to this guy that i met on facebook. i really really like him, we have only been talking for a week and he's already saying he's in love with me. i had a really bad break up with my daughters father and it took forever for me to ...
A. 7 February 2013: "Its not possible to be in love with someone that you have never met and you have only been talking to them for a week, right?"
RIGHT. There is NO WAY you can be in love with someone after a week, especially if you have never met. Even people t... (read in full...)
My ex b/f already knows I'm with another guy so why does he keep calling me?
Q. My boyfriend travel for 6month with no contact, not quite long I met this new guy in my life that love every bit of me, now my gone away bf is bad, I promise to wait 4 him, but it a new story now, my new bf knows about him and he won't give me any ...
A. 7 February 2013: Well you have to make a choice - which guy do you want?
What you have done is pretty awful, you promised to wait for boyfriend number 1 but when someone else came along you jumped straight into a relationship with him! You are hurting both men... (read in full...)
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