A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What does "do you want to take a break" mean?? My boyfriend and I are having some ups and downs at the moment, and he asked me this. I don't even know what that entails.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the insight everyone, this has been really helpful. My boyfriend only asked me because we were discussing some pretty heavy things. I asked him if he wanted to and he said no. Then I told him that I don't believe in seeing other people while still being in a relationship. I think things will get better.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2012): KC is right about what it can mean, but your boyfriend is the only one who can tell you what he means by it.
I'm like SVC I don't do "breaks" only break ups. If our relationship is broken then we both need to fix it. If you need a bit of time and space to think about things go ahead and take that time and you can have all the space you need but you don't just get to call a time out on our relationship because you don't need to.
To me a "break" means you want to be temporarily single which then gives you license to do what a single person would do, kind of the Ross/Rachael scenario.
I've known so many people do the "break" thing and all it meant was that they had interest from another person and wanted to try them out without technically cheating. From my experience of others having "breaks" generally someone else is either part of the reason or becomes part of the reason.
And yeah, "breaks" are almost always the beginning of the end.
If I were you I'd say no, but if you do want some time and space then say that you do, but not a "break".
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 September 2012):
 TO ME (and this is just my take on it)
you can't "take a break" from a relationship. IF it's so bad that you need to "take a break" that is the beginning of the end to me...
to some it means "I need time to figure out what i want"
to some it means "I want to bang that new hot chick at work without cheating"
to some it means "I want to end it but I'm too chicken to do it the right way"
you need to ask him what he means...
I've never taken a break from a relationship... either we are together or we are not... now granted I've had a fight or two in a relationship were we thought it was over....but we never did the "we are taking a break" kind of thing... but after the huge fight, we made up... but those were just HUGE fights of a few days or a week at the most...
usually if things are so stressful that you need a break, it's an indication that the relationship is not stable enough to continue on properly...
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (21 September 2012):
 People have different meanings for what a break involves, so you are going to have to ask your boyfriend exactly what he means by this 'break'.
But in general, a break means a (potentially) non-permanent break up. Sort of in between broken up and together. So you take some time out from each other, dont see each other and dont speak to each other (like a break up) but when the person who initiated the break is ready, they will come back and potentially get back together.
There are some grey areas within this - does your boyfriend want to see other people in this break (this often happens)? Does this break have a time limit (i.e. 2 weeks) or is he going to keep you waiting until he is 'ready'? Are you going to keep in contact during the break, or is it complete no contact? What happens if he decides he prefers being without you, when does it become a permanent break up?
You need to talk to him, ask him what the conditions of this break are, and then you decide if you are happy to sit around waiting for him to make his mind up or not. I personally would never allow my partner to take a break from me - either we are together and we work through the problems, or we break up. No middle ground.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, Dr.LanceMerryweather +, writes (21 September 2012):
 It means that the person who said it, wishes to end the relationship but hasn't the guts to say so.
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A
male
reader, Wheeler +, writes (21 September 2012):
 You could always ask him to explain exactly what HE means by that. It could mean just that, take a break from spending time together or talking. That could mean a few days, a week, a month even. Sometimes that's what someone says when they don't know how to say they don't want to be together anymore. Or he could have been hurt by something you did and even thought he still has feelings for you can't be around you because of his hurt feelings. A lot depends on how long you have been together, what you mean by "ups and downs".
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