A
female
age
36-40,
*ovemeright11
writes:okay here is my situation, I am 24 and lost my job. I am living with grandma and my dad since they both sold their house and we now live in 3 bedroom apartment. The current situation is my dad is still not fully done with moving from the old house so he is not always here, but when he is he has the room that is diagonal to mine. Before my family made this change we all agreed that we will live like adults. Now I have been here comfortably for the past 2 or 3 months and my boyfriend comes over and things have been fine with us having sex until the past weekend my dad was here, but he was sleeping and everyone in the house was sleeping. He makes a big fuss with me about not having sex because he is uncomfortable and does not like everyone being here. I told him it was really ridiculous because we are not all babies living in this house we are adults and we should be able to have sex and be fine. We already have sex problems and now he does not want to even do it at my place. This is now another new problem to add to the list of our sexual issues already. I could understand if we had no respect for others in the house and were loud, but I did not intend to be loud while having sex at night anyways. Either way he just said, he could not do it. I asked him haven't you ever masturbated to had sex with a gf while you mom was home and you were sneeky about it all. He said no, he never had a gf in his years of living with mom and he never masturbated while his mom was home. I am at a lost and can't see how we are supposed to fix this issue. ANy help would be good. I have no clue what to do with this.I have never had a man be such a pansy before. I am so much more easy going with sex almost anywhere really. He never has a problem when people are home at his house, but mine he can't be comfortable. Please help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lmao1989  +, writes (25 September 2012):
 I'm very much like your boyfriend i find it very uncomfortable to have sex when people are in asleep or not. The fact is i feel they can wake at any moment and walk in looking for something, i don't enjoy it as much because i'm always thinking of every little sound.
You can't change the way he is he may find it disrespectful to have sex in a house where people are asleep i know you say you're easy going but you must consider his thoughts and feelings he may find it uncomfortable because it isn't his house and people are there and asleep, and probably doesn't feel right doing it when they're there.
I know you said you won't be loud but again it can be that paranoid feeling of 'What was that sound?, Am i breathing too heavy? Are they sleeping heavily?' And he maybe more focused on the sounds around him than the actually sex and therefore may not enjoy it or give you as much pleasure as you'd like.
A
male
reader, bini magna  +, writes (25 September 2012):
 well i think looking thingz in one direction and side iz disadvantegious in most aspects.why don't u look only ur own home to have sex to ur friend.just look 4 ward some alternatives. what bout pensions,small hotel rooms 4 rent,what bout somewhere quite and decent places and so forth...just try it out one of z alternatives and u both get comfortable.just relax
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (25 September 2012):
 You cant change your boyfriend I'm afraid, he is simply not as sexually adventurous as you are and there is not a lot you can do about it. My boyfriend would never have sex if there was anyone else in our house, he wont have sex at his parents and he wont have sex at my parents either, even if everyone in the house has gone out!
Some people simply are not comfortable in having sex in someone else's home, or when there is the potential for someone to hear. Even if you are quiet, there is always a bit of noise so it is understandable for him to feel this way.
You cant change people to match your needs - you either love and accept your boyfriend for who he is, someone who is not sexually adventurous and prefers complete privacy for sex. Or you dont accept it, leave him and find a more sexually adventurous man.
I have accepted my boyfriend for who he is, I love him just the way he is and I would never try and change him, even if I think it is silly when we are both in our parents home alone (when they are all out) and he still wont have sex. Yes its silly, I dont share his same fear of someone coming back home, but I dont make an issue out of it because that is just the way he is.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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