A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing someone in his late 50's and I have no idea what sort of mind games he is playing. Sometimes when I tell him I miss him, he would reply my text with a smile icon. Sometimes even though he read my "I miss you" text, he wouldn't reply me. Why is he doing this and playing all these childush games? I know that he read my text because he's always very responsive with his mobile. It left me baffled how he would make me wait for a reply. Is he just not into me or he's playing mind games?
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (26 September 2012):
 Yep what he said(sage old guy) is righ on...you are the key to his recapture of the youth fly. It flies by and my advice is...find a younger guy that can mature with you instead of because of you. Good luck! If you feel for him give him a little frisky time but watch out and bail out soon.
A
male
reader, BachelorGreatUncle  +, writes (26 September 2012):
"Is he just not into me or he's playing mind games?"I won't necessarily say the following entirely applies, but in general the ground rules are:1) Youth is your currency2) Money is his currency3) In ten years he'll still have money4) In ten years you won't have youth5) In the interim he will be able to acquire none of your youth 6) In the interim you will be able to acquire as much as his money as you can get, whatever the amount, it's all profit 7) In the interim he will try to keep the exchange rate as low as possible8) Any guy our age pursuing a girl (or guy) your age is not interested in you as a person, it's what you represent to him: a chance to recapture the illusion of youth while letting the world know he can still get it up and his balls still work, and the world will think he must still be a hunky virile stud to have a hottie like you hanging all over him. Sounds like he's trying to keep you guessing to keep the price as low as possible, maybe even holding out the carrot of the implied promise of an implied suggestion of a relationship.He's not worth the effort, sugar daddy-sugar baby "relationships" are usually based on mutual dusfunction and complimentary ego-stroking, among other items stroked.Don't fall into this pattern, if by wild random chance unrelated coincidence you have unresolved issues relating to your bio-male conceiver, then I suggest counselling. Young fatherless women lacking strong male role model are usually longing for any kind of male attention and affection, scumbags like him that young women growing up in such circumstances have no idea what constitutes appropriate behavior and conduct. Stop contact as of now. He's a loser.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (26 September 2012):
 As a guy who has recently left his "late 50s" for his "early 60s" I believe that I can shed some light on this issue.....
IN his "late 50s" a man is beginning to understand that he is NOT the young stud that he once believed that he was.... and that he must actually acquiece to being "middle aged." Along with that (being "middle aged") we crave to have a bit of tasty arm-candy who gives us attention.... There is a PROBLEM, however, if we are unable to understand what "young things" know about and expect from life.... Therein is the basis of your question..
The "short" answer is that we are (he is) trying to recapture our (his) youth by having a meaningless fling with a young hottie (you!) who will trigger our (his) reminiscences (back to the days of GTOs and 442s, Elvis, the Moody Blues and drag racing).... while "young hottie" (you!) may actually believe that we are (he is) interested in a REAL "relationship" with you....
Imagine that he is NOT (interested in any "relationship" other than a fling with a young hottie) and, perhaps, the "answer" to your query will magically appear....
Good luck....
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (26 September 2012):
 I RARELY text at ALL.. only time it happens is when a friend text me and I don't feel like a 1-2 hour phone conversation.
So my guess is, he is not big on texting.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 September 2012):
 I don't think he is playing games , I think it's the generation gap. People 50 and up don't like texting, - they don't understand it, they find it futile, invasive and often annoying unless it is strictly functional ,like SVC says :" Sorry, running 15 min. late ". " See you Sunday at noon "-this type of thing.
They are not , and they don't want to get !, used, discussings feelings, emotions and inner workings of the minf and heart by text. For these things, face to face and phone , -at worst e-mails-, are still the best.
I think that every now and then he will have a surge of tenderness, or a bigger ego stroke than usual , receiving your texted sweet nothings ,and then he'll reply .
But normally, he can't see why he has to drop everything to respond immediately "miss you too " ,...maybe for the 10th or 20th time in a week.
I'd like to add that, while from your short posting and the text thing per se, we surely can't say if he's playing games ,or not .... anyway I would commend him for being prudent and holding back a bit, and not letting himself be swept away in whirlwind romance with someone 35 years younger. If he is smart, he knows that " adopt an old codger week " may end quite soon and quite abruptly- so probably he does not want to look more of a fool than what's strictly necessary.
...............................
A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (26 September 2012):
 Maybe he's just not good at expressing his feelings or not good at expressing them in text messages.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (26 September 2012):
 Who ya callin' cranky? I'm not cranky, sure my joints ache but I'm NOT CRANKY...okay maybe irritated, bitchy, and intolerant, but I'm NOT CRANKY..humph
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@So_Very_Confused He's divorced. So, don't worry. You're not advising a home-wrecker.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 September 2012):
 BTW... just because he's in his late 50s does not make him mature or adult.
nor will his behavior change much from when he was in his late 20s.... personalities are pretty much set in stone...
the only thing age does is make us less tolerant and cranky because we are in pain more....
...............................
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (26 September 2012):
 It sounds like there could be a few things going on here:
1. He doesnt feel the same (i.e. he doesnt feel that he misses you yet) so he doesnt want to reply to those kinds of messages
2. He is afraid of sharing his feelings with you and is reluctant to open up
3. He is not the kind of man that sends mushy, soft messages like this, hence why you dont get a reply
4. He is worried about the age gap and wonders if this is just a novelty for you that will wear off, and doesnt trust that your feelings are genuine yet
I dont think he is playing games, I think there is something that is causing him to hold back with you - but we cant tell you exactly what that reason is. Why dont you talk to him face to face when you next see him? Explain to him that it upsets you when he doesnt reply, and you are wondering if there is something wrong. Talking is key to relationships, give it a try! And no, texting doesnt count. Try the old fashioned conversation, that is the best way to get answers for any issues you have with your partner.
But I do have to say this one thing - why are you with a man in his late 50's? What kind of future do you expect with this man? You must be aware that he probably cant have children anymore (health wise), he wont want to get married at his late stage in life, and his health is going to decline over the next 20 years, so you will be left as an unmarried, childless 40 year old caring for a man in his 70's. You will be a glorified care worker with not a lot left in your life once he dies. Do you really want to be a widow in your 40's or 50's? Are you happy to sacrifice marriage and children for this man?
It seems rather futile if I'm honest pursuing this relationship, you can never have a long and happy life together and surely that is the aim of all relationships? Think carefully about what you are doing, sure it may seem fun now but that will soon change in 10 years time when you are in your early 30's stuck with a man who cant even get it up. Sorry to be harsh but this will be your reality!
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 September 2012):
Texting is no way to have a relationship.
Texting is for "i'm running late be there in 15" or "here's the address see you at 4" kind of stuff....
you are 25 and he is near 60 huh?
what are you expecting out of this relationship?
is he married/separated/divorced/never married?
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (26 September 2012):
I hate texting, I'm simply too busy to be bothered. Why do you expect him to drop eveything to a simple text like "I miss you" maybe you are playing the games here, not him?
...............................
|
