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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Am I over reacting to the constant texts and calls
Q. Boyfriend constantly texting and calling another woman.... Please help, i have been with my partner for 4years and to be honest it hasnt been easy, after the 1st year he dumped me as he had feelings for a female friend. we got back together a...
A. 21 September 2012: This whole 'first contact' thing is nonsense, if he really loved you and cared about how upset you are over this, he would have already said to her 'this is causing problems in my relationship, please can you cut down the amount you are texting ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend problems involving facebook. What should I do?
Q. It seems facebook is the source of all of our issues :/ I'm really insecure about myself and always end up comparing myself to other girls and my boyfriend and I have talked about this. We live together and he treats me so well, but we do have i...
A. 21 September 2012: Yes you should be upset! As I said before, he is a massive flirt and it is totally inappropriate, joke or not, to be talking to girls in that way.
He sounds like a total creep to be honest, a perv and just one of those nasty guys that likes to... (read in full...)
How do you make someone fall back in love with you? There has to be a way!
Q. Lots of people say once the love has gone it can never come back. Yet so many people get back together and even remarry each other after a divorce. So people obviously can fall back in love. My question though, is how? I'm desperate for my husband ...
A. 20 September 2012: In light of your follow up post, I'm afraid I dont think there is much hope for you getting back together I'm afraid. Clearly he has tried many times to come back to you and make the relationship work, but he cant - he has tried his best but it just ... (read in full...)
Truly love my wife, only been with her, want to try another woman though.
Q. Hello there, I married my high school sweetheart. We have been together for near 15 years, married only about 5 years. We had kids "really" young. I have only ever slept with her and she has only ever slept with me 100% fact. So in technical ter...
A. 20 September 2012: If you are 100% certain you want to go through with this then it would be far better to talk to your wife about it first, rather than going behind her back and cheating on her. At least if you both agree to it you wont be feeling guilty as you are ... (read in full...)
Not enough money for a wedding, should we elope?
Q. Ok so I'm newly engaged and the date is set for early 2014, after my fiance graduates from university. My problem is that my mom who would be paying for the wedding cannot afford it. Both me and my finance don't have our careers started yet, so ...
A. 20 September 2012: Why not put the wedding on hold until you can afford it? I appreciate you want to get married as soon as you can, but you are very young and there is no rush. I've never heard of anyone saying "I wish I had gotten married younger", you only ever ... (read in full...)
Am I over reacting to the constant texts and calls
Q. Boyfriend constantly texting and calling another woman.... Please help, i have been with my partner for 4years and to be honest it hasnt been easy, after the 1st year he dumped me as he had feelings for a female friend. we got back together a...
A. 20 September 2012: He can claim all he wants that his feelings for her are in the past, and yes they didnt actually get together - but he still left you with the intention of getting with her, so that is equally as bad. Dont let him off lightly just because they never ... (read in full...)
Am I over reacting to the constant texts and calls
Q. Boyfriend constantly texting and calling another woman.... Please help, i have been with my partner for 4years and to be honest it hasnt been easy, after the 1st year he dumped me as he had feelings for a female friend. we got back together a...
A. 19 September 2012: He dumped you for this woman years ago, so you have every right to be upset about this.
You need to get tough with him - he has to stop talking to her and only see her as part of a group, or you are leaving. Simple as that. There is no need for... (read in full...)
I think my friend might have an eating disorder and she won't listen to anyone
Q. My friend has just come back to university, but it's strange because she doesn't eat as much as she used to. We went for lunch the other day and she chucked more than half in the bin, then we bought food out at the end of our night out and she ...
A. 19 September 2012: She sounds a bit like my friend - when she was at uni in her first year she was a size 12, then her grandad died and she stopped eating, she lost so much weight and was a very small size 6. She would eat a handful of cereal for her dinner, it was so ... (read in full...)
How do you make someone fall back in love with you? There has to be a way!
Q. Lots of people say once the love has gone it can never come back. Yet so many people get back together and even remarry each other after a divorce. So people obviously can fall back in love. My question though, is how? I'm desperate for my husband ...
A. 19 September 2012: I think it all depends on what kind of person your husband is, and why he has left you.
The whole 'I love you but I'm not in love with you' is nonsense, there is no difference between 'love' and 'in love' - you either love that person enough t... (read in full...)
I need my ex to be part of my life, how do I get him to be my friend despite me dating someone else?
Q. How do i get my ex to at least try to be friends with me?? Despite of me dating someone else. He was an important person and in a way still is... i mean i feel like someday we will have another chance. But when we are more mature because we were ...
A. 19 September 2012: You cant date this new guy yet keep your ex in the backgound until you are ready to date him again, that is not fair on either guy.
You are being incredibly immature and must understand that you cant have everything your own way. If you 'need' y... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend has forbidden me to talk to my best friend. How should I deal with this?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for a year now. things are great between us but he found out 4 months ago that i used to have feelings for my best friend and my best friend has feelings for me this made him very upset and he forbidded me to speak to ...
A. 19 September 2012: This is quite simple - your boyfriend is right for asking you to stop talking to your friend, because you have admitted in this post that you still have feelings for your friend. So your boyfriend is right to be worried and jealous, because his ... (read in full...)
Relationship or career? Do I stay in this relationship where we both love each other ? Or try to convince my Boyfriend to move?
Q. Please help me. I am a 22 year old gay man and in a dilemma of love vs career. About 14 months ago I graduated from university with a degree. I decided then to move back home temporarily with my parents from my student life in another city, whilst ...
A. 19 September 2012: I think you should try and work on getting your boyfriend to move with you, before you call it quits. Perhaps your boyfriend doesnt realise how serious you are about moving, often people talk the talk but dont follow through so he may not actually ... (read in full...)
Should I make amends with my ex girlfriend who's getting married?
Q. i can't get over the fact that my first love, my college ex-girlfriend is getting married. I heard the news from my former roommate who was also a friend of hers. when she and i were together she was a bit apprehensive with the two of us having sex. ...
A. 18 September 2012: No, keep quiet and dont ruin this happy time for her. She has obviously moved on and is happy with her fiance, she is getting married soon and will be enjoying planning her wedding, she doesnt need any added stress in the form of you turning up and ... (read in full...)
Why say you want someone then avoid seeing them?
Q. About 20 days ago i started to chat to a male i met on a dating website. We exchanged numbers and spoke spoke for a couple od days. He told me not to go back onto the website till we met and both agreed to take our photos off the site. We ...
A. 18 September 2012: He is playing games with you, leading you on but without any intentions of ever fulfilling his promises. Chances are he is seeing lots of women from the dating site, messing you all around just because he can.
Unfortunately there are some men... (read in full...)
Now I am at University how do I make new friends? And how do I cope with lonliness at being so far from everyone I know?
Q. So today was my first day of University and second night staying in student accommodation. I've had a really tough year and finally got out of my depression in time for Uni but now I feel like I am slowly sinking back there. I have never felt so ...
A. 18 September 2012: Your first week at uni will be tough, but everyone is in the same boat as you. When I went to uni I hated my first few days there, I was crying all the time because I was lonely and didnt click with anyone instantly in my halls of residence.
... (read in full...)
I feel too skinny - am I over-reacting to not having enough weight?
Q. I know that I should not care about what others think but this is coming from my neighbors, boyfriend, and friends.. I lose and gain weight really quick. I am 120 pounds and im 5'5 and I feel like I am perfectly fine. Everyone thinks I look super ...
A. 18 September 2012: If we are just talking about health here, then a medical professional would say you probably are borderline underweight, you could probably do with putting on around 7-10lbs to be in a more healthy weight range.
But you are not 'super skinny',... (read in full...)
Boyfriend problems involving facebook. What should I do?
Q. It seems facebook is the source of all of our issues :/ I'm really insecure about myself and always end up comparing myself to other girls and my boyfriend and I have talked about this. We live together and he treats me so well, but we do have i...
A. 18 September 2012: Yes you should confront him, regardless of whether she is from the past or not, under no circumstances should he EVER tell a girl she is a good kisser when he is in a relationship with you.
Facebook can be the death of a relationship, and if y... (read in full...)
Boyfriend feels neglected because I'm spending time with another friend. Views please?
Q. Hey everyone, I am 23 years old and my boyfriend is 26 nothing significant there but I thought of mentioning it cuz my boyfriend has been acting really immature these days.. I have a best guy friend we go bowling,dinner's lunch we have a lot of fu...
A. 18 September 2012: If the friend were female you would not have this issue, so yes your boyfriend is being a bit immature. However it is understandable, I'm sure you wouldnt be too thrilled if you found out your boyfriend was spending all of his time with a female ... (read in full...)
The proposal - Advice please ladies!
Q. Hi all, I have been in a loving relationship with my girlfriend for a number of years now and wish to make a marriage proposal.. I just wish to make this as special for her as possible, because she deserves it! I intend on proposing to her w...
A. 17 September 2012: This is really tough, and there is no right answer I'm afraid! How good are you at choosing things for her? As in have you bought her lots of surprises before, and she's loved them all? I guess if you know her style well, and have had experience in ... (read in full...)
How can I handle this awkward situation? met on X-box. She's 22 with a baby. I'm 16
Q. Hell. Ok so here is my story, i met this great person on a game on xbox live, a few months ago. we talked for a little while and added each other on facebook and have talked on there. By the way im a 16 year old guy and she is 22 (not sure if this ...
A. 17 September 2012: You are right to be concerned by your age gap, it simply is not going to work. As a single 22 year old mom she needs a man in her life who is ready to settle down, who can be a stable influence on her life and who can easily see her whenever ... (read in full...)
For the guys: Why does a perfectly nice guy stop talking to you suddenly for no reason?
Q. Hey, this is more one for the guys, as I would love to know why a perfectly (or what seems a perfectly) nice guy can just stop talking to a woman suddenly and that will be it! So the short of the suturation- met a lovely guy, in a bar about 3 we...
A. 17 September 2012: I'm not a guy I'm afraid, but I have plenty of experience with this, and even a story where the guy who stopped talking to me got back in touch and explained himself!
So here is the story - basically I met this guy online, we got on really w... (read in full...)
I hate to admit it but my ex scares the crap out of me, how do I stop her from ruining my life?
Q. My head has been completely screwed with by my ex. She told so many lies. She even said that she was pregnant and then strangely miscarried when i asked to see proof of pregnancy and asked her to go to dr. During our 2year relationship she pulled ...
A. 17 September 2012: Speak to her one last time, tell her you want nothing more to do with her, it is over and she needs to stop tracking you down and stop bothering your friends. Make it clear that if she goes near your friend again, who is pregnant and doesnt need ... (read in full...)
I lost 2 grandmothers in a very short time. How do I find meaning in life again?
Q. Hi. My question is more of a personal nature than about relationships, but it is affecting my relationships with my new partner and with everyone I meet. Basically, over the last 2 months I have lost both my grandmothers. First my mum's mum, the...
A. 17 September 2012: You really sound like a wonderful person, who has achieved so much in life already and you are full of dreams for the future so I have no doubt that you will go on to be happy again in the future. I think you are right, you are putting too much ... (read in full...)
How can I be anorexic if I'm not slim//skinny?
Q. I dont have an account so please check in as I will hopefully update daily if necessary. I have been overweight for about 6 years (comfort ate). I have been anorexic and had the mindset of a bulimic for about 8 months and it pretty much snuck ...
A. 14 September 2012: You need to seek help from another doctor, and ideally a therapist/counsellor. Yes you may be overweight now, but if you are losing on average a stone a month you will be underweight in no time at all, and putting your health massively at risk. If ... (read in full...)
After some rough patches and fighting he says he's done with us. How do I save this?
Q. I feel like my world was just ripped out of my fingers!! My boyfriend told me 4 days ago that he is over us. Im lost and need to know what to do to prove to him its not theus he is over itsthe fighting! We met five years ago in december and by ...
A. 14 September 2012: I think you need to focus on yourself for a little while, and then see what happens with your partner. The last few years have been a mess for you, with so many different men, cheating, fighting, financial problems...I honestly think you just need a ... (read in full...)
I lost 2 grandmothers in a very short time. How do I find meaning in life again?
Q. Hi. My question is more of a personal nature than about relationships, but it is affecting my relationships with my new partner and with everyone I meet. Basically, over the last 2 months I have lost both my grandmothers. First my mum's mum, the...
A. 14 September 2012: I think many people question the meaning of life, and we all have stages in life where we feel like 'what's the point'. But the point is life is what you make of it. Yes we all die, and that is inevitable, so of course material things are pretty ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend chose he's ex girlfriend's friendship over me. I'm so hurt and disappointed
Q. My partner of 18 mths (whom had discussed marriage with me ) and I broke up a few weeks ago due to his level of contact with his ex , by his own admittance, his best and only friend aside from me .They have been totally committed to each other for ...
A. 14 September 2012: This wasnt a normal 'friendly' relationship between ex's, so I think in the long run you are best off out of it. If they had children then it would have been understandable to try and keep a friendship, but with no kids there is no reason to be in ... (read in full...)
I hate going away on holiday with my fiance! Should I be marrying her?
Q. HI,I live with my girl friend 3 years.we get on fine most of the time.We are engaged and due to get married.But every time we go away I dont really enjoy been with her.I can count 6 or 7 holidays that we have gone on that im just ready to run away ...
A. 14 September 2012: Why dont you enjoy holidays with her? Why did you propose if you are only 70% happy with her? Surely you have known for a long time that you have your differences, why did you propose and arrange a wedding if your not sure about her?
When you prop... (read in full...)
Is my self medical abortion unsuccessful?
Q. Dear cupids, Help!!!. I recently had a strip test and found a slight second red line. By my calculation, I was 32 days pregnant. So I used the misoprostol alone procedure to terminate it for I have been taught on how to take the medicine in a two ...
A. 14 September 2012: See your doctor. You should not be doing things like this alone, you need a qualified medical professional to do things like this.
We cannot tell you if you are pregnant or not, see your doctor as soon as you can to make sure you havent done any... (read in full...)
The sex has slowed down and it looks like we are beginning to break up....has my married boyfriend found another woman?
Q. Hi, i m 31 years old and my boyfriend was 45 years old. He always said he is old man now,sex not so in his interest but everytime we had sex,it always so pleasureable and exciting,sometimes once in a week,or twice,maybe thrice and 4 times also occ...
A. 14 September 2012: You are cheating with a married man, therefore you can never be sure that he doesnt have other women, because you are 'the other woman'! He is a married man with a family, he is working to try and support them and you are just something to keep him ... (read in full...)
I moved my entire life for him, and he goes and cheats on me with his ex wife! I'm stuck here and don't know what to do....
Q. My bf and i met online. We have a few mutual RL friends. He lived 8 hours away. We met up about april of 2011. He was going through a divorce and so was i. But we got along really well and were really miserable apart from eachother. I ended up ...
A. 14 September 2012: You say you met this man through some mutual RL friends, therefore you must have SOME friends, and you must have some family members somewhere in the country? This relationship is over, and I would NOT buy a house with this man as I get the feeling ... (read in full...)
How can I be anorexic if I'm not slim//skinny?
Q. I dont have an account so please check in as I will hopefully update daily if necessary. I have been overweight for about 6 years (comfort ate). I have been anorexic and had the mindset of a bulimic for about 8 months and it pretty much snuck ...
A. 14 September 2012: I think we need a bit more information before we can really help you.
Are you anorexic or bullemic? I.e. do you not eat (that's anorexia)? Or do you binge and then throw up (that's bullemia)? You say you have stopped telling people that you have... (read in full...)
I think we are dating but not exclusive. Do I have a right to be mad at him kissing another girl?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for a month, we have been mainly making out and cuddling A LOT, we have spent a bit of time together outside of each others houses though. I found out from a friend that her friend kissed him last week at a college party. ...
A. 14 September 2012: Until you have had 'the talk' and decided to be 100% exclusive then you cant really say anything to him. Of course you are going to be upset, because you clearly like him and its never nice to find out the person you like has kissed someone else.
... (read in full...)
I've never initiated a break-up before, but I think it's time ...
Q. I have never been the heart breaker but the heart breakee. I don't know how to iniate a break up. I am sure this is what I want but somewhat feel guilt because I feel all of my reasons are selfish ones. We have been together for so long have a child ...
A. 12 September 2012: I think if you stay with him you would be setting a bad example to your daughter, so I dont think you are being selfish at all and your reasons are more than adequate for wanting to leave.
Just because a woman has a child and a partner doesnt m... (read in full...)
I'm not confident in my dating choices
Q. I am not sure if I am confident in my reasons to stay with my boyfriend. In my boyfriends eyes, we have a great relationship, but in my eyes I feel like there is something off. I love him very much, in fact, he is my first love. We have been ...
A. 12 September 2012: There are 2 parts to this problem:
1. He is your first serious boyfriend so you will of course wonder what other guys would be like, the feeling like there are other people is totally normal for someone who is in their first serious relation... (read in full...)
No condom, took pill next morning. Is that enough?
Q. My boyfriend and I have had sex only twice before. The last time we did it, we didn't use a condom and he pulled out before anything happened. The next morning I took the pill. Is this safe enough to prevent pregnancy?...
A. 12 September 2012: What kind of pill did you take? Do you mean the contraceptive pill, the one you take daily? Or do you mean the morning after pill?
If you took the morning after pill (or the Plan B pill as they call it in America) then you should be ok, it will ... (read in full...)
I feel angry that I have been left with my ex's debt and now he's expecting a child!
Q. i will try to keep this as short as possible I've known my ex since we was 13 we was best friends for years and finally got together when I was 21, we both worked hard , bought a house and had a baby during our 5yr relationship, the relationship ...
A. 11 September 2012: I think you should try speaking to the citizens advice bureau, this doesnt sound right to me (especially the mortgage company refusing to take his name off the contract when he doesnt pay anymore), and I'm sure there must be something that can be ... (read in full...)
He says I'm a great woman, but he only wants a sexual relationship...what am I to do?
Q. He says that he doesn't see a serious relationship with me because, I'm not part of his culture and that when it comes to building a family, the way he children will look, they language they speak and the culture is very important to him, THUS he ...
A. 10 September 2012: What do I think? That you are being very naieve and not realising that OF COURSE THIS OLDER MAN IS GOING TO USE YOU FOR SEX!! What else would a man in his late 40's want with a 22 year old?! This culture nonsense is an excuse for him, the truth is ... (read in full...)
I've become attached to my fiance's nephew
Q. I am 20 years old. My fiance, boyfriend, whatever you want to call him is 50. We are swingers, which means we're in an open relationship. now that the info is over, here's my story. I was driving home from my uncle's house one night and saw my...
A. 10 September 2012: The anonymous poster has hit the nail on the head - you are a very confused young lady who is heading down a self-destructive path, and you need some professional help to get yout back on the right track.
Open relationships rarely work for anyo... (read in full...)
Should I make a move or wait until she is single?
Q. Hi. I like this girl and I know she likes me too, the problem is she is taken. Should I make a move on her and disregard her boyfriend or should I NOT make a move because she has a boyfriend?...
A. 10 September 2012: If she likes you as much as you think she does then she would have left her boyfriend for you already.
DONT make a move, you cannot be in a relationship with someone who already has a boyfriend, you would be the 3rd person and you would never ha... (read in full...)
Guys, is Virginity really important to you? I'm scared to lose my virginity. But wish I had.
Q. I am not a person who goes with the crowd but most of the time, I am scared of losing my virginity before marriage. Now I probably regret not having sex when I was younger, because I had always wanted to have sex. What's the difference even ...
A. 7 September 2012: Someone on this site gave very good advice a few days ago (sorry to the OP I cant rememeber who it was):
Basically you wont ever hear of a woman (or man) who says "I wish I lost my virginity earlier". What you will hear is many people sayig "I... (read in full...)
Who is right for me, my ex who calls me a big sh**t or the lovely new guy?
Q. I need a litle help... this is a complex story and my head heart and body mind all torn! Well, I met my boyfriend november 2009 we were so happy both dairy farmers and so much in common going everywher together, now I had personal problems at home...
A. 7 September 2012: Let me give you this word of warning - if you meet with your ex, regardless of whether or not it is just 'talking', you will ruin your relationship with your new guy and pretty much put the nail in the coffin there and then. You will ruin the trust ... (read in full...)
Thinking about her sleeping with guys who have bigger penises than me is driving me mad!
Q. Ok so my fiancé and I had takin a break for 3 weeks about a year ago. During that she was hanging out with a guy she had texted when we had broke up for couple days a few months prior. The text were about how they wanted to hook up. But when we got ...
A. 7 September 2012: Sex with men who have a big penis is often very painful, uncomfortable and not the most enjoyable experience for a woman. Women's vagina's are roughly 4 inches long, so any man that is longer than 4 inches is simply hitting the woman's cervix which ... (read in full...)
Who is right for me, my ex who calls me a big sh**t or the lovely new guy?
Q. I need a litle help... this is a complex story and my head heart and body mind all torn! Well, I met my boyfriend november 2009 we were so happy both dairy farmers and so much in common going everywher together, now I had personal problems at home...
A. 7 September 2012: Of course you shouldnt give up on the chance of having this farm, you need to follow your dreams and do what makes YOU happy, forget what he wants and put yoursef first for a change.
Many abusive, controlling men often put on an act at first to... (read in full...)
Who is right for me, my ex who calls me a big sh**t or the lovely new guy?
Q. I need a litle help... this is a complex story and my head heart and body mind all torn! Well, I met my boyfriend november 2009 we were so happy both dairy farmers and so much in common going everywher together, now I had personal problems at home...
A. 6 September 2012: I think you know deep down that your ex is so wrong for you.
You have 2 choices her, the emotionally abusive, controlling and selfish ex boyfriend. Or the new man who treats you well and treats you how you should be treated. So what do you want... (read in full...)
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