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... Send *rank B Kermit a private message | | | *rank B Kermit's profile:Frank Kermit, MA is an Expert Relationship and Dating Coach. He is a Best Selling Author, educator, and regular media correspondent.
He teaches men and women about their emotional needs, how to address each others emotional needs, to be applied to ongoing loving relationships. In 2011, Frank completed an Advanced Certificate in Trauma Counseling and in 2014 completed a certificate in Hypnotherapy.
Frank Kermit has a newsletters that the public can sign up for:
http://www.franktalks.com/newsletter/ (upcoming media spots)
and when you sign up, you get a 400+ page ebook for free (a collection of 100 of Frank's best articles)
Frank answers public questions on dearcupid.org when and IF he has the time. Please understand that Frank makes a professional living through his Date Coaching, and therefore his private paying clients must come first. Frank does not answer private questions received on dearcupid.org unless you want to hire him for some private one on one coaching via skype or over the phone. You can learn more about Frank's Coaching services at www.franktalks.com/
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| Latest articles: Off Limits Dating
No replies yet... 18 September 2013: Is Someone Off Limits for Dating? By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Mastering the art of dating requires a number of skills such as being socially calibrated, effective communication and knowing what you want. One of the areas that comes up for ...
How to Deal with a Toxic Person
No replies yet... 18 September 2013: The Best Way To Deal With Toxic People By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Toxic people are defined in this article as people who lack the capacity to reason, or people have the capacity to reason but just do not want to reason with you. In t...
A Broken Engagement is Better Than A Happy Divorce
No replies yet... 31 August 2013: A Broken Engagement is Better Than A Happy Divorce By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships One of the ironies of couples counseling that I often find myself doing is taking the couple through the pre-marital coaching process when they may already be...
A Frank Comment on Miley Cyrus
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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31 August 2013: A Frank Comment On Miley Cyrus By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships I do not normally comment on the antics of popular culture, as so much of what we see of movies and TV are fiction based romances and relationships. I tried my best to stay fo...
The Wedding Speech
No replies yet... 26 July 2013: The Wedding Speech Remember this day, your wedding day. Not for the dresses and suits, not for the extravagance, nor the dinner and dancing, but remember your wedding day because of the reasons you chose to marry your spouse. Remember who is it that...
Sexually Incompatible Couples
No replies yet... 19 July 2013: Sexually Incompatible Couples Sex is not the most important thing in a relationship. However, couples who love each other dearly and connect on so many levels, but whom are sexually incompatible tend to find that sex can be at the core of a numb...
Separation and Dating, Part 2 of 2
No replies yet... 28 June 2013: Separation and Dating, Part 2 of 2 Separation does not automatically lead to divorce unless you let it. It is up to you and your partner to put in the work so that it does not happen. In the event you are the only one trying to work on yourself and ...
Separation and Dating Part 1 of 2
No replies yet... 22 June 2013: Separation and Dating Part 1 of 2 One of the most damaging actions an individual can take is to start dating someone new when going through a separation with their serious long term partner (spouse, common-law partner or a defacto-union). When I use ...
The Frank Break Up Formula
No replies yet... 14 June 2013: The Frank Break Up Formula By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Breaking up with someone is rarely an enjoyable or pleasant experience. In fact, there are those individuals who stay in less than satisfying relationships, and even can go all the ...
The Frank Romance Formula part 3 of 3
No replies yet... 8 June 2013: The Frank Romance Formula Part 3 By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Continued from last article: The Frank Romance Formula is: A. (Stimulation of the 5 senses) + B. (Addressing the emotional needs of that person) + C. (Sensual/Sexual Contex...
The Frank Romance Formula Part 2 of 3
No replies yet... 3 June 2013: The Frank Romance Formula Part 2 By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Continued from last article: The Frank Romance Formula is: A. (Stimulation of the 5 senses) + B. (Addressing the emotional needs of that person) + C. (Sensual/Sexual Contex...
The Secret Of Seduction is that it Happens in the Future
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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3 May 2013: The Secret Of Seduction is that it Happens in the Future By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships The future is where actual seduction takes place. That is the key to seduction. It has very little to do with turning someone on when you see them. I...
The S.L.A.P. Theory Of Life Lessons
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
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27 April 2013: The S.L.A.P. Theory Of Life Lessons By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Sometimes life will slap you down when it has a lesson to teach you. For some people, the slap may be a light swat, and for others the slap has to be a severe smack down. ...
Dating With Disabilities
No replies yet... 5 April 2013: Dating With Disabilities by Frank Kermit ND, Relationships I once went on a date with a woman that had severe food allergies. We went out to a movie and I wished she had told me ahead of time. Although she mentioned that she was deathly all...
Rejection: The Worst Best Thing That Can Ever Happen
No replies yet... 21 March 2013: Rejection: The Worst Best Thing That Can Ever Happen By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Rejection is the worst best thing that can ever happen to you. Managing rejection is a necessary part in managing your love life. Over the course of your ...
Things they do not tell you about having kids
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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15 March 2013: Things They Do Not Tell You About Having Kids By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships I always try to be very practical and realistic in my articles. This can come across very negative, given that my topic is Relationships (and all things relative...
When Friendship Is Meaningless
No replies yet... 8 March 2013: Friendship Is Meaningless Stop Hanging Out With Friends Who Sexually Reject You By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Friendship is meaningless. There I said it. Now before you shoot one of your nasty emails to the editor, actually read this colum...
Who Cares What People Think? Depends...
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
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1 March 2013: How Much Should You Care About What Other People Think? By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships T here will be times when we want to do something in our lives that is meaningful to us. It could be a decision related to abandoning education, wh...
Learn How to Choose the Right Fights!
No replies yet... 21 February 2013: Pick And Choose Your Fights By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Fighting in relationships is normal. The issue is not whether you fight. The issue is HOW a couple fights. Do they talk out their disagreements? Do they wait until they are alon...
Starting Over After V-day?
No replies yet... 14 February 2013: Starting Over? By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Valentine’s day can be a day of reckoning for some people. Meaning, the events leading up to, on the day of, and afterwards can really wreck your life. This is one of the reasons I often refer to...
A Relationship is: Acceptance at the Worst, Loving at the Best
No replies yet... 6 February 2013: A Relationship is: Acceptance at the Worst, Loving at the Best By Frank Kermit, Relationships At my weekly relationship workshop last Saturday I issued one of my famous “Frankisms” that seemed to really resonate with the attendees. I was trying...
Asking Hard Questions
No replies yet... 1 February 2013: Asking Hard Questions By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships When trying to decide if you should be committed to someone, moving in with someone, getting engaged, and getting married, each new transition brings about the unpleasant task of askin...
Ex Lovers and Weddings Do Not Mix
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24 January 2013: Ex Lovers and Weddings Do Not Mix By Frank Kermit, Relationships If you ever had sex with someone that is about to get married, and have been invited to the wedding, do not go. This is especially true if the spouse-to-be feels uncomfortable havi...
Couples in Transition: Monogamy and Non-monogamy
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16 January 2013: Couples in Transition: Monogamy and Non-monogamy By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Couples who are experiencing a transition in the status of their relationship may sometimes look to explore new ways of redefining their sex lives b...
Common Sense For Common Scents By Frank Kermit, Relationships
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
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13 December 2012: Common Sense For Common Scents By Frank Kermit, Relationships As the holiday season approaches, invitations begin to swarm in for get-togethers from family, friends and even office parties. It is a time of people coming together, and in some ca...
Couples in Transition
No replies yet... 29 November 2012: Couples in Transition By Frank Kermit, Relationships When a couple is going through a change in the status of their relationship they are a couple in transition. This includes couples that are transitioning from monogamy to non-monogamy, from no...
Your Home Is Your Seduction
No replies yet... 15 November 2012: Your Home Is Your Seduction By Frank Kermit, Relationships Your date is coming over to your place! You have seen each other a couple of times already, but this is different. This is YOUR PLACE, not some coffee shop or movie theatre or restaur...
The Movie Of Your Life’s Journey
No replies yet... 6 November 2012: The Movie Of Your Life’s Journey By Frank Kermit, Relationships The movie of your life is how we each envision our lives unfolding throughout our life span. This concept goes beyond simple fantasizing of what your life would be like. Writing ...
What Love Masks by Frank Kermit
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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2 November 2012: What Love Masks By Frank Kermit, Relationships A mentor of mine taught me that love is not blind; it is just that categories are rigid. When you meet someone, you put that person in a category (lover, friend, temptation, fling, does-no...
The Chocolate Made It Too Much Work: An Article About EFT and Weight Loss
No replies yet... 2 November 2012: The Chocolate Made It Too Much Work An Article About EFT and Weight Loss I have a confession. I used to daydream about food. You know that point in the day when someone catches you; your head in your hands, that dreamy look on your face? If so...
Have You Tried NOT Dating Your Type?
No replies yet... 1 November 2012: Have You Tried NOT Dating Your Type? By Frank Kermit, Relationships We all have our “type”. By “type” I am referring to that type of person each of us is madly attracted too. Each of us has our preference of what we like, what turns us on, ...
Is there such a thing as Happily Single?
No replies yet... 19 October 2012: Is there such a thing as Happily Single? By Frank Kermit, Relationships Is being single really that bad? After all, when a person considers the amount of pain that a relationship or casual dating can cause, it may seem that just skipping the w...
Be Thankful For a Broken Heart
No replies yet... 11 October 2012: Be Thankful For A Broken Heart By Frank Kermit, Relationships Ok, I hate this. I really hate this part of the process. However, it is a necessary part of the process, and if I am expected to help encourage others to do it, first I have to demo...
Stop Talking About Your Ex On Dates!
No replies yet... 5 October 2012: Stop Talking So Much About Your Ex By Frank Kermit, Relationships So you are on a date with someone new. You are excited. You are nervous. You hope that this is finally going to be the one. You meet. So far, you both like what you see. This...
Dating in Social Circles
No replies yet... 29 September 2012: Dating In Social Circles By Frank Kermit, Relationships Dating can be tricky. Does the other person like you the way you think he or she might? Do you really like that person enough to get more serious, or do you want to keep it more casual a...
Frank Guide to Speed Dating
No replies yet... 21 September 2012: Frank Guide To Speed Dating By Frank Kermit, Relationships Every way to meet someone new is a good way. Though friends, through the Internet, blind dates, approaching someone you want to meet, at a workshop, matchmaking companies, business conv...
Relationship Goal Setting
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15 September 2012: Relationship Goal Setting By Frank Kermit, Relationships Setting goals in most areas of your life can be challenging. When it comes to relationships, there are even more challenges. Whereas in other areas of your life such as education, emplo...
Battling The Savior Complex in Relationships
No replies yet... 6 September 2012: Battling The Savior Complex By Frank Kermit, Relationships As children, many of us grew up on stories about the hero that saves a person, and in the process, earned the undying love and loyalty of the person saved so that the hero and that saved ...
Get Out Of Your Own Way!
No replies yet... 30 August 2012: Get Out Of Your Own Way By Frank Kermit, Relationships One of the biggest obstacles that a person can have as an obstruction on their path of finding happiness, peace and healing for their love life, is themselves. Although most people wou...
Your Choices Today Become The Past You Have To Share Tomorrow
No replies yet... 26 August 2012: Your Choices Today Become The Past You Have To Share Tomorrow By Frank Kermit, Relationships Young adults tend to discount how the choices they make today will impact their futures tomorrow. At least, when it comes to relationships. The bes...
Are You A Partner Or A Liability?
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
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17 August 2012: Are You A Partner Or A Liability? When it really is you and not them By Frank Kermit, Relationships “It’s not you, it’s me.” Have you ever heard that said to you when someone broke up with you? Have you ever been the one to use it when dump...
The 7 Weird Words That Help Define Relationships
No replies yet... 9 August 2012: The 7 Weird Words That Help Define Relationships By Frank Kermit, Relationships There are 7 certain words that catch many people off guard when it comes to relationships. They are: Lust, Love, Sex, Dating, Commitment, Marriage, and Monogamy. ...
Fear of Conflict Is Rooted in The Fear Of Loss.
No replies yet... 20 July 2012: Fear of Conflict Is Rooted in The Fear Of Loss By Frank Kermit, Relationships Are you too nice when it comes to relationships? Do you walk on eggshells because you do not want to upset your partner? Are you reluctant to enforce your bounda...
Re-Establishing Trust in a Relationship Article
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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12 July 2012: Broken Trust Takes More Than Time To Re-Establish By Frank Kermit, Relationships Trust is one of the most important components of a relationship. Love is a great start, but it takes more than loving someone, or being loved by someone, to make ...
Understanding Emotional Needs
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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4 July 2012: Understanding Emotional Needs: What We Respond To Versus What We Should Like By Frank Kermit, Relationships Emotional needs are about what a person responds to. It has nothing to do with what a person should like. We all should be attracte...
Red Flags: What To Watch Out For On A Date
No replies yet... 29 June 2012: Red Flags: What To Watch Out For On A Date By Frank Kermit, Relationships When you are on a date, and the person you are getting to know says or does something that triggers a well-honed instinct that you need to stop dating that person, you hav...
The Art of Storytelling on a Date
No replies yet... 25 June 2012: Art of Storytelling: Make or Break A Relationship Happy Ending By Frank Kermit, Relationships One of the challenges that people face when they go on dates is that they may not factor in that others will not understand what they are trying ...
Swinger Beginner Advice
No replies yet... 25 June 2012: Swinger Beginners: Keep it Out of the Work Place By Frank Kermit, Relationships Dear Frank, My husband and I recently returned from a business trip/vacation where a few of my husband's co-workers also brought their wives. We really hit it o...
When your Ex becomes a symbol and you can't get over it
No replies yet... 13 June 2012: When Your Ex Becomes A Symbol Relationship Symbolism of Why You Are Still Hooked By Frank Kermit, Relationships We are surrounded by the power of symbols. A symbol is more than just a design we recognize; symbols are a means of making meaning. ...
Ally Vs Enemy: Understanding The Emotional Needs of Men
No replies yet... 9 June 2012: Is She His Ally or His Enemy? Understanding The Emotional Needs of Men By Frank Kermit, Relationships The best way I know how to teach people about the emotional needs of men is to break it down to absolute fundamentals. If people can und...
Dating After A Break Up - Just How Long Should You Wait?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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1 June 2012: Dating After Breaking Up? The Sooner The Better By Frank Kermit, Relationships “How much time should I wait before I start dating again?” is a common question that I get asked from someone that has just recently gotten dumped, and still sufferi...
Relationship Redemption: How To Forgive Yourself and Get Closure
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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23 May 2012: Relationship Redemption How To Forgive Yourself and Get Closure By Frank Kermit, Relationships We all make mistakes in life. If you have ever tried to get into a relationship, are in a relationship, or are recovering from a relationship, ...
Finding The Meaning Of Your Life And Relationships
No replies yet... 15 May 2012: The Meaning of your Relationships Starts With The Meaning Of Your Life By Frank Kermit, Relationships Contemplate your death. No seriously. In order to make meanings of your relationships past, present and those you will have in the futur...
The Mother-Lover Theory Understanding The Emotional Needs of Women
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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10 May 2012: The Mother-Lover Theory Understanding The Emotional Needs of Women By Frank Kermit, Relationships A woman can only play one of two roles in a man’s life. She is either his mother or his lover. She cannot be both. When a man addresses a wom...
Moving To The Next Level: Understanding The Hierarchy of Relationships
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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1 May 2012: Moving To The Next Level Understanding The Hierarchy of Relationships By Frank Kermit, Relationships One of the biggest mistakes people make in relationships is to promote someone up the hierarchy of commitment that has not really earned it. I...
Beware Your Friends when it comes to love
No replies yet... 15 April 2012: Beware Your Friends They May Not Want You To Be Loved By Frank Kermit, Relationships Mistakes Singles Make # 6… Seeking the approval of friends that influences your love life choices. Love may come and go, but a friendship can last a lifetim...
Are Relationships Worth The Risk?
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8 April 2012: Relationships = Risk But is it really worth it? By Frank Kermit, Relationships Given that there is so much risk in getting involved in relationships, or having sex for that matter, is it at all worth it to even bother? After all, a broken hear...
Tattoos and Relationships
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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24 March 2012: Beware The L-I-N-K Of (L)ove and (INK) By Frank Kermit, Relationships While at a coffee shop a few weeks ago, I met a tattoo artist. He had his son’s name tattooed on his hand, and being the ever-inquisitive one, I asked him about his profession...
Open Relationships and Infidelity
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17 March 2012: Open Relationships Do Not Always Stave Off Infidelity By Frank Kermit, Relationships Some people believe that one of the surest ways to guarantee fidelity is to only do open relationships. The premise is that people only cheat in monogamous ...
What is a Relationship?
No replies yet... 10 March 2012: What is a Relationship? Is best defined by what it’s NOT By Frank Kermit, Relationships Over the years, I have been asked a number of times “What is a Relationship?” This is a harder question to answer than most people think. In my experience,...
Engaged! Now what?
No replies yet... 19 February 2012: Pre Marital Disclosure What you don’t know, you must know By Frank Kermit, Relationships Valentines day has come and gone. Some relationships have started. Some relationships have ended, and some relationships have proceeded to the next le...
Making Monogamy Work
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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5 February 2012: Making Monogamy Work By Frank Kermit, Relationships Monogamy is easier than open relationships, because the rules are simpler...but the application of the rules of monogamy is not as easy. Monogamy works for monogamous people...however...
Single Parent Dating, Not Just a Single Issue
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3 February 2012: Single Parent Dating – More Than Just A Single Issue By Frank Kermit At least 40% of marriages end in divorce. Depending on the study you read, the percentage can be higher. Even though the break down of families continues, the drive that ma...
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Am I doing the wrong thing trying to change sexualities?
Q. I am really confused. I left my husband 3 months ago because he was abusing me...he was hitting me.....anyways right after that i spent a very short time with a loser who only wanted to use me for sex and obviously that didn't work out either.....so ...
A. 26 February 2010: I think the right thing for you to do is spend time with yourself and get to know you.
It seems to be that you are using relationships as a means of escapism. I suggest that you focus on your relationship with yourself and figure out what att... (read in full...)
If your partner says they love you, yet you don't feel the same way yet, do you tell the truth?
Q. I'm just wondering. What if you're in a relationship and your partner tells you that they love you but you don't feel the same way at least not yet. Do you be honest with them about how you feel or do you lie and say I love you back so they won't ...
A. 26 February 2010: Yes you tell the truth, and you set the person free to find love with someone that will appreciate them.
That is the ethical thing to do.
-Frank Kermit
http://www.franktalks.com... (read in full...)
How do I deal with feeling ashamed that I wasted time with him?
Q. i feel ashamed. this guy and i were about to be an item until something happened. everybody knew that we went for dinner every night and what not. everybody knew we were close. anyway, we're not talking anymore now. i hate all the places i we...
A. 26 February 2010: 1. Learn from this, so that you chose a better partner for yourself in the future.
2. Go to those places you were with him before, and CREATE new memories. That is how you deal with memories of him...you create new ones. Bring new friends ... (read in full...)
Should I go out on a date with my friend in spite of being married?
Q. i am married but i want to be with my friend and he wants to be with me but i don't think it will lead to sex should i go out on a date with him or not? I mean i am not saying I don't want have sex with him I do but we are both a bit more mature ...
A. 26 February 2010: If you are in an open relationship, then go ahead, and yes it is going to lead to sex...that is the point of a "date".
If you are in a monogamous relationship, then no. The first rule of monogamy is that you only have sex with one person. ... (read in full...)
Age old situation - Boy likes girls, girl already got a BF
Q. Hi everyone. I need some advice and help on a situation I find myself in. I am very lucky in that I'm single and can enjoy eating out regularly; being a person of habit I got to certain places on certain days. Over the course of goin...
A. 12 February 2010: When she says...
I think shes likes me - but here's the rub she has a boyfriend, whom shes did refer to and I quote 'an annoying git...'. What do I make of a statement like that??!!??
She is doing so to give you hope, and so that you will leave h... (read in full...)
Will the court take my kids away from me just for smoking pot?
Q. Hi there...I smoke weed and have 3 kids...I don't smoke around them and they don't know that I do it. My ex-husband knows that I have always smoked weed and now that I pushed for child support, he started calling DCF on me...twice in the last 6 ...
A. 11 February 2010: Depends on the judge and the jurisdiction.
Have you tried NOT smoking up?
The issue is your credibility. Doing drugs, even weed, takes away from your credibility regarding everything you have to say against your husband, and your status as a... (read in full...)
My husband get's mad when I wont have threesomes. How can I get out of this?
Q. I caved to a threesome with my husband, and I don't want to do it again ....but he gets mad and insists that we do. How do I get out of this situation?...
A. 9 February 2010: The fact you did it once is going to make it very hard for him to understand why you won't do it again. Why did you agree to it in the first place? What was it about it that made you not want to do it again?
With all that said, assuming this is ... (read in full...)
Who do I choose? The guy I like, or the guy I don't want to hurt?
Q. I been through a lot with my muslim boyfriend being a secret to his parents and where he lives it tool three years to introduce me because I broke up with him. I wish he could have did it sooner. While we was broken up I met a wonderful guy we have ...
A. 8 February 2010: Staying with anyone out of politeness because you do not want to hurt their feelings IS a form of hurting the other person as well as yourself, at the same time.
Never stay with someone long term out of fear of not wanting to hurt them.
I do no... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I get along great... but I kissed my ex, do I tell him and risk losing him?
Q. Hi everyone, I have been dating a guy for about 4 months and it is pretty serious. We are planning on living together. The guy is sweet, caring, everything a girl can ask for. But the thing is i have kissed my ex-boyfriend and I'm debating if i sho...
A. 3 February 2010: Best you tell him before someone else does.
He deserves to know, so that he can make his own decision about staying or going.
The fact you would kiss your ex says to me that you are not the one for him.
-Frank... (read in full...)
I want to be "the one"
Q. Hi Dearcupid people. I've been randomly reading questions and answers on this website for the last couple of days and I feel I still can't find a question exactly related to mine. So without further ado, here goes: My closest and best friend is a...
A. 19 January 2010: You are waaaay too needy for this girl to be able to attract her. You have become her Emotional Cookie Man, and that means she can not factor you in as a sexual being in her life.
You already think of her as a girlfriend but you are not dating. ... (read in full...)
I have never felt so lonely and lost before
Q. My heart is so empty. I am 54. My Mum, Dad and brother all died within three months of each other six years ago. My best friend died a couple of months before that. My Mum and Dad lived with me and we were very close. I loved them all so much and ...
A. 15 January 2010: A possible solution is also for you to record yourself in audio, or a journal on youtube.
This would require little or no typing (hand pain free), and you can still give back.
If you can find a volunteer to transcribe any audio recording you do... (read in full...)
I have never felt so lonely and lost before
Q. My heart is so empty. I am 54. My Mum, Dad and brother all died within three months of each other six years ago. My best friend died a couple of months before that. My Mum and Dad lived with me and we were very close. I loved them all so much and ...
A. 14 January 2010: I have never felt so sad and lonely in my life.
My heart goes out to you. You have had so much happen to you, and the grief must be overwhelming.
If you have not gone for concouling, I would suggest it. Find a support group to join from a loca... (read in full...)
When it came down to it... why did he not do what he was dying to do?
Q. I started a fight with my bf ealier today, i felt bad. So to make it up to him I told him he could do a certain sexual act on me that for months and months i told him he couldn't b/c it just wasn't my cup of tea. Well I figured he'd just jump r...
A. 14 January 2010: He did not do it because it is a violation of his emotional needs that the only reason you were willing to give him the sex act he wanted, was because you felt you had to make something up to him.
If the only reason you are willing to do it is be... (read in full...)
If virginity is so important, why is it that you are supposed to get over someone's past?
Q. Dear cupid, Why should I not expect a virgin as I save my virginity for the right person ? and Why should I get over her past when the girl is not a virgin ? I see there's double-standard on this, People say it's good to keep virginity beca...
A. 13 January 2010: You said: I'm a virgin because girls think I'm ugly and a loser. It had nothing to do with religion or families. It's just that no one wants to do it with me.
Well then, two things for you to consider...
First, are you sure that is why the... (read in full...)
If virginity is so important, why is it that you are supposed to get over someone's past?
Q. Dear cupid, Why should I not expect a virgin as I save my virginity for the right person ? and Why should I get over her past when the girl is not a virgin ? I see there's double-standard on this, People say it's good to keep virginity beca...
A. 13 January 2010: The issue is WHY you beleive in maintaining your virginity or not.
Is it religious? Is it morality? Is it that you hold virginity as a sign of family values?
Once you know that answer, the rest falls into place.
For example, let's sa... (read in full...)
Understanding low self esteem and dating a best friend of 12 years who suffers from it
Q. I am looking for some opinions on low self esteem and dating. My best friend of 12 years has very low self esteem and not suffering from it myself, I find it hard to understand how she feels. I looked on the internet and found a comment that an ...
A. 11 January 2010: You wrote:
"in the meantime whilst we are not a couple we do spend all our time together but sometimes"
The statement above has me concerned for you. You are treating her as a girlfriend but you are not dating. She was willing to have sex with... (read in full...)
He's having an emotional affair with me but refuses to end it with her boyfriend...
Q. I met a girl that is just great. she likes me alot. i like her alot. we have a true connection. there is one problem, she has a boyfriend who she has been with for over four years. they live together along with her sister. she stays up all night ...
A. 10 January 2010: She does not like you in that way.
She sees you as a friend only, and does not want to hurt you by telling you the truth.
She is also scared that she would lose your friendship, because it is a valuebale resource to her.
She sees you as... (read in full...)
27 year old virgin, Help!
Q. im another 27 year old male virgin, and dont know why. i am in good shape and work out. i have not much self confidence and no self image really and im afraid to get intimate, becuase im inexperinced in sex. i am really afraid to talk to and ...
A. 3 January 2010: I did a special seminar for adult male virgins such as yourself.
You can hear CD previews for free at
http://www.franktalks.com
It sounds like you do know why. You are scared of having sex. Are there reasons like being a sex abuse victim... (read in full...)
Want to have child with another woman since wife gave me 3 daughters and I want a son!
Q. I am married but want a son with another woman because my wife cannot have children any more and we have three daughters. Please give me advice...
A. 1 January 2010: The flag next to your name is South Africa. I beleive that plurial marriage is legal in parts of South Africa.
If this is the case, talk to your wife about having a second wife.
If not, you must consider that if you have created 2 daught... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps souvenirs of his ex
Q. Months ago, i found in my boyfriends room, cards and photos from his previous relationship. I asked him why did he keep them and he said "to remember the good memories". This hurt a lot but he eventually threw them away. He reasoning later was that ...
A. 31 December 2009: Personally, I think it is wrong of anyone to ask another to throw away mementos from past relationships.
Until such a time as you make a serious commitment (like marriage, a commitment to having children, or building a life together) such a reques... (read in full...)
I have faked it for 10 years...help?
Q. i have had sex for 10 years and have never felt any sexual pleasure form it for ten years i have faked it. it hurts becasue my marriage is now over becasue it gets worst everytime, i know i wont feel nothing os i dont get horny. oral sex only gives ...
A. 30 December 2009: I think that you might be able to get some information on asexuality. I think that is what your situation sounds like.
I did an interview with an Asexual man who said similar things to what you experienced. His name is David Jay and you can list... (read in full...)
I am interested in swinging but I worry the other men are too 'big' for me.
Q. My husband and I are very interested in swinging. I have been wanting to try this for years and now that we have discussed it for some time now we both are anxious to get into the game! I have a little fear though. I am small, height, weight and ...
A. 29 December 2009: I am an advice columnist for swinger magazines, and have experience with the lifestyle myself. I have also done a number of interviews with people in the swinger lifestyle.
You can listen to them all for free at:
http://ww... (read in full...)
Still a virgin at 25, considering the use of a prostitute, please help?
Q. There have been many posts like this I'm sure, but I'll share with you my story anyway. It's Christmas, and I had promised myself that by this time, I would have lost my virginity, well, I haven't. My entire life, from my earliest childhood...
A. 25 December 2009: This exact thing was discussed here:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-am-25-a-virgin-and-never-kissed.html
I did a special seminar for adult male virgins such as yourself. My advice is NOT to pay for it for your first time. It may satisfy t... (read in full...)
He's married but we love each other, what should I do?
Q. Ive just recently started a new job. Me and the manager being very close he knows everything about me and my history of abuse and current abusive situation with my family. It was agreed during holidays i would come work for him to get some extra ...
A. 24 December 2009: You do nothing.
He is married, and you are just the other woman.
Unless he is in an open relationship where you get to meet his wife, then wake up and realize that if he were really unhappy at home, he would have left his wife regardless if yo... (read in full...)
I did nothing while we were on a break, but now he says it's over because he thinks I cheated!
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up on Saturday over a heated argument, he went out that night and mingled with other females and enjoyed hiself according to my friends. He also reactivated his facebook account, which is something that we got rid of because ...
A. 23 December 2009: He wanted to break up with you already...he just wanted to blame you for it.
-Frank... (read in full...)
The love of my life is 24 years younger than me, but age is only a number.
Q. Hi, I am 41 and have had only a few relationships. I met an absolutely beautiful girl about 3 years ago, she is autistic, yet only on a small level. I connected with her immediately, which is unusual for an autistic person to do. I looked on the net ...
A. 22 December 2009: I did a lecture on Older Men Dating Younger Women. You can listen to previews of the CDs at my website for free.
http://www.franktalks.com
The age gap between you two is not an issue.
I do see other issues though.
If you are both autisti... (read in full...)
How do I keep the bullies at bay?
Q. Hi im 15 and i live in a pretty rough place my school is bad i get bullied all the time and beat up i stick up for myself but theres to many they use weapons too. when i walk home they will follow me and beat me up in the alleys. I dont bother any ...
A. 20 December 2009: If this weren't so dangerous for you, I would simply say learn to fight and defend yourself. But the odds are very much against you for that by the sounds of it.
Next, you need to consider why you would like a girl that abuses you...the fact tha... (read in full...)
I don't know how soon after starting to date we can have sex!
Q. Hello, guys! I need your help. Several questions: 1)after how long, 3 months or longer they have dated gf nd bf often have sex? 2)knowing little about sex, what should i pay attin to for the first time having sex? 3) how many sex positions nd which ...
A. 13 December 2009: 1)after how long, 3 months or longer they have dated gf nd bf often have sex?
First thing I would suggest you look at is what age you can legal have sex in your country. It is different from place to place, so at least make sure that you are BOTH... (read in full...)
Should I ditch this engagement? After what she did with this guy?
Q. I need help. I just found out my fiancee cheated on me a little while ago. I don't know if I should marry her or not. I'm real pissed off and upset, but I love her, but this is not acceptable. I'm a believer in that 2 people who are in love and ...
A. 4 November 2009: Unless you are interested in making your relationship an open one, then do NOT marry this girl. You are a fool if you do. Obviously she does not have the same values as you do, and THAT is the reason it will not work out in the long term. It is not ... (read in full...)
Why are men so reluctant to commit?
Q. Guys, please help me out here. Since, my divorce I have had two relationships with commitment phobic men. Why are men afraid to commit. Is it that there are so many pretty , smart,successful girls to choose from? What makes a guy chose one girl over ...
A. 3 November 2009: I met my wife through Eharmony. My only advice is to be as honest as you possibly can, and know the difference between "preference" and "absolute deal-breaker".
I hope you find happiness again.
-Frank... (read in full...)
How do I handle my husband and son smoking out of bongs?
Q. I am a 46-year-old businesswoman, who's well-liked in my local community. However, it's my personal life that's troubling - I came home from work one afternoon to find my husband and 16-year-old son smoking bongs together in the living room. ...
A. 1 November 2009: As long as your husband is your son's dealer (he bought it off the internet for him) there is no way for you to enact your influence. IT is also very likely that your husband introduced the drugs to your son.
First, did you know your husband ... (read in full...)
Can he be a virgin at 40 plus???
Q. I've known this guy just under a year- both in our early 40's- we met at work but dont work in same place. We have a few friends in common and others who arent. Since we met we have seen loads of each other - we now see each other every week or so, ...
A. 1 November 2009: Yes, it is VERY possible that he is a virgin. This is very common.
I did a special seminar for adult male virgins such as your friend. He might be an abuse victim, he might be struggling with his sexual orientation, or he might just associat... (read in full...)
Why are men so reluctant to commit?
Q. Guys, please help me out here. Since, my divorce I have had two relationships with commitment phobic men. Why are men afraid to commit. Is it that there are so many pretty , smart,successful girls to choose from? What makes a guy chose one girl over ...
A. 1 November 2009: Why is it hard for men to commit?
Two reasons:
1-Because legally, men have more at risk. The law is such that men suffer more in cases of separation and divorce, and many men have either been burned really bad, destroyed financially, or ... (read in full...)
I don't want my ex to call because it causes her difficulties with her husband, I wonder whys he still calls me?
Q. I have an ex-gf, which we have remain friends for years after we broke up ( yrs ago ) , which it was due because a mutual understanding. one day she calls me to tell me she was getting married, i wished her well and told her i was happy for her. ...
A. 1 October 2009: Unless there was something unfinished between the two of you, then my guess is that she is doing this for the drama. She gets attention from an ex (you), she is doing something forbidden, she might get caught by her husband...it is a safe ... (read in full...)
Has anyone tried Eharmony and does it work?
Q. Just wondering? Has anyone tried Eharmony? Does it work? Or are they just a bunch of guys looking to get laid like plentyoffish?...
A. 30 September 2009: Met my wife through that site.
The site is best for people looking for something serious and long term. Not many younger people there.
Some people lie on there just like any online site. So you always have to be careful.
-Frank Kermit... (read in full...)
Cheaters: how do you know if they have changed?
Q. Do men that cheat ever genuinely change??? if they do how do you know that they changed?...
A. 30 September 2009: You know he changed when the source of the reason he cheated is no more. Was it out of immaturity? Was it an addiction? Was it a particular person? Was it a particular emotional need that was not being met? Whatever the reason that got him to ... (read in full...)
Why does he want me back when he clearly couldnt accept me the way I am?
Q. My ex bf just told me he wants me back, but he is the one who broke up with me in the first place. During out relationship he was always pointing out all the things that he didnt like in me, such as my values and beleiefs and just generally my per...
A. 28 September 2009: It sounds like he is just afraid to be alone, and is using you. Otherwise why would he want to be with someone that clearly he wants to change?
-Frank Kermit
http://www.franktalks.com... (read in full...)
Why does he want me back when he clearly couldnt accept me the way I am?
Q. My ex bf just told me he wants me back, but he is the one who broke up with me in the first place. During out relationship he was always pointing out all the things that he didnt like in me, such as my values and beleiefs and just generally my per...
A. 28 September 2009: It sounds like he is just afraid to be alone, and is using you. Otherwise why would he want to be with someone that clearly he wants to change?
-Frank Kermit
http://www.franktalks.com... (read in full...)
The day I was going to ask her to marry me she told me she had cheated on me
Q. My gf of 4 yrs went on a all girls trip south and when she came home she told me she hooked up with another guy. She claims they never had sex just made out and did alot of touching. The day she came home I actually had plan to ask her to marry me. ...
A. 28 September 2009: Only if she agrees to stop drinking and not take trips with her friends that encouraged such behaviors. And then actually see her doing such things before you even propose.
-Frank Kermit
http://www.franktalks.com... (read in full...)
Do I tell my parents or hide it longer?
Q. over the last few years i have had several crushes consisting of both sexes. I struggled alot with coming to terms with it and have now accepted myself as bisexual. However admitting it to myself is alot easier than admitting it to anyine else. I ...
A. 27 September 2009: For starters I did an interview with a bisexual woman on her sexual orientation and you can listen to it for free at
http://www.franktalks.com/radio
Look for the interview with Nancy LeClerc. There might be information there that you can rel... (read in full...)
Why can't women have young lovers?
Q. I am an attractive 40 year old woman currently in a relationship with a 24 year old strapping young jock. We initially hit it off as friends while playing on a co-ed softball team together. Then went out with a group and ours eyes met and have been ...
A. 26 September 2009: Woman can have young lovers. Some woman however just can not give themselves what they want. Maybe it is an issue of if you feel you deserve it?
In terms of how society regards older women and younger men, the issue is that most people feel com... (read in full...)
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