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Do I tell my parents or hide it longer?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 September 2009) 7 Answers - (Newest, 28 September 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

over the last few years i have had several crushes consisting of both sexes. I struggled alot with coming to terms with it and have now accepted myself as bisexual. However admitting it to myself is alot easier than admitting it to anyine else. I have only one sibling and he is opnely gay. I fear that if i open up about who i am it will quite literally break my mother and fathers heart. We have been through a great deal latley eith cancer, strokes and depression and i don not want to cause them any more hurt than they already have but i can not hold my feelings inside anymore as everything i laying very heavily on my heart. Do i tell them or hide it longer?

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A female reader, Ybamylloh United Kingdom +, writes (28 September 2009):

Tell them. If they cant accept you then they have the problems, not you!

cos they're is nothing wrong with it it its who your are and if people make you suffer from that once you tell them they are not wrth worrying about!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

to anonymous i am female

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2009):

I kind of agree with the "wait until you bring a girlfreind over" with the following suggestion...

There's no reason to announce that you're Bi until you meet a woman you want to be in a relationship with AND bring her home to meet your folks. Now, I would suggest that you bring her home, introduce them, let them get to know her and warm up to her. After 2 or 3 weeks, and hopefully several visits, talk to them WITHOUT her there. They're going to need time to process this and you don't want them to see this woman as "the woman who's corrupted their little girl".

Since they've been through this with your bother, and presumable can meet his BF w/o picturing THEM naked in bed together your parent should be able to extend you the same courtesy. Odds are good that you'll find that so long as you are healthy and happy they'll be HAPPY too!

Good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2009):

You don't say your sex. Two counselors have told me that most men experiment with bi-sexuality during their lives. Even though I have trouble believing it, that is a true statement by professionals.

Why don't you give it more time? Since it is eating at you, why don't you confide in a minister or priest, or counselor.

You might get better advice from one of them. Also, it does sound like a lot of going on in your family now, and you don't want to be considerate of them.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks. That helps sort a few things out for me at moment. I think i knew what i had to do but needed to hear it from others too. Thanks alot. x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2009):

Tell them when you bring your first boyfriend/girlfriend over.

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A male reader, Frank B Kermit Canada +, writes (27 September 2009):

Frank B Kermit agony auntFor starters I did an interview with a bisexual woman on her sexual orientation and you can listen to it for free at

http://www.franktalks.com/radio

Look for the interview with Nancy LeClerc. There might be information there that you can relate too.

At this point, I do not see any reason to have to share it with your family. Not just because there are other challenges going on for them, but also because, you might want to reach a point where you are comfortable enough with it, before involving your family into your struggle.

-Frank Kermit

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