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... Send *rank B Kermit a private message | | | *rank B Kermit's profile:Frank Kermit, MA is an Expert Relationship and Dating Coach. He is a Best Selling Author, educator, and regular media correspondent.
He teaches men and women about their emotional needs, how to address each others emotional needs, to be applied to ongoing loving relationships. In 2011, Frank completed an Advanced Certificate in Trauma Counseling and in 2014 completed a certificate in Hypnotherapy.
Frank Kermit has a newsletters that the public can sign up for:
http://www.franktalks.com/newsletter/ (upcoming media spots)
and when you sign up, you get a 400+ page ebook for free (a collection of 100 of Frank's best articles)
Frank answers public questions on dearcupid.org when and IF he has the time. Please understand that Frank makes a professional living through his Date Coaching, and therefore his private paying clients must come first. Frank does not answer private questions received on dearcupid.org unless you want to hire him for some private one on one coaching via skype or over the phone. You can learn more about Frank's Coaching services at www.franktalks.com/
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| Latest articles: Off Limits Dating
No replies yet... 18 September 2013: Is Someone Off Limits for Dating? By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Mastering the art of dating requires a number of skills such as being socially calibrated, effective communication and knowing what you want. One of the areas that comes up for ...
How to Deal with a Toxic Person
No replies yet... 18 September 2013: The Best Way To Deal With Toxic People By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Toxic people are defined in this article as people who lack the capacity to reason, or people have the capacity to reason but just do not want to reason with you. In t...
A Broken Engagement is Better Than A Happy Divorce
No replies yet... 31 August 2013: A Broken Engagement is Better Than A Happy Divorce By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships One of the ironies of couples counseling that I often find myself doing is taking the couple through the pre-marital coaching process when they may already be...
A Frank Comment on Miley Cyrus
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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31 August 2013: A Frank Comment On Miley Cyrus By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships I do not normally comment on the antics of popular culture, as so much of what we see of movies and TV are fiction based romances and relationships. I tried my best to stay fo...
The Wedding Speech
No replies yet... 26 July 2013: The Wedding Speech Remember this day, your wedding day. Not for the dresses and suits, not for the extravagance, nor the dinner and dancing, but remember your wedding day because of the reasons you chose to marry your spouse. Remember who is it that...
Sexually Incompatible Couples
No replies yet... 19 July 2013: Sexually Incompatible Couples Sex is not the most important thing in a relationship. However, couples who love each other dearly and connect on so many levels, but whom are sexually incompatible tend to find that sex can be at the core of a numb...
Separation and Dating, Part 2 of 2
No replies yet... 28 June 2013: Separation and Dating, Part 2 of 2 Separation does not automatically lead to divorce unless you let it. It is up to you and your partner to put in the work so that it does not happen. In the event you are the only one trying to work on yourself and ...
Separation and Dating Part 1 of 2
No replies yet... 22 June 2013: Separation and Dating Part 1 of 2 One of the most damaging actions an individual can take is to start dating someone new when going through a separation with their serious long term partner (spouse, common-law partner or a defacto-union). When I use ...
The Frank Break Up Formula
No replies yet... 14 June 2013: The Frank Break Up Formula By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Breaking up with someone is rarely an enjoyable or pleasant experience. In fact, there are those individuals who stay in less than satisfying relationships, and even can go all the ...
The Frank Romance Formula part 3 of 3
No replies yet... 8 June 2013: The Frank Romance Formula Part 3 By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Continued from last article: The Frank Romance Formula is: A. (Stimulation of the 5 senses) + B. (Addressing the emotional needs of that person) + C. (Sensual/Sexual Contex...
The Frank Romance Formula Part 2 of 3
No replies yet... 3 June 2013: The Frank Romance Formula Part 2 By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Continued from last article: The Frank Romance Formula is: A. (Stimulation of the 5 senses) + B. (Addressing the emotional needs of that person) + C. (Sensual/Sexual Contex...
The Secret Of Seduction is that it Happens in the Future
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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3 May 2013: The Secret Of Seduction is that it Happens in the Future By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships The future is where actual seduction takes place. That is the key to seduction. It has very little to do with turning someone on when you see them. I...
The S.L.A.P. Theory Of Life Lessons
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27 April 2013: The S.L.A.P. Theory Of Life Lessons By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Sometimes life will slap you down when it has a lesson to teach you. For some people, the slap may be a light swat, and for others the slap has to be a severe smack down. ...
Dating With Disabilities
No replies yet... 5 April 2013: Dating With Disabilities by Frank Kermit ND, Relationships I once went on a date with a woman that had severe food allergies. We went out to a movie and I wished she had told me ahead of time. Although she mentioned that she was deathly all...
Rejection: The Worst Best Thing That Can Ever Happen
No replies yet... 21 March 2013: Rejection: The Worst Best Thing That Can Ever Happen By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Rejection is the worst best thing that can ever happen to you. Managing rejection is a necessary part in managing your love life. Over the course of your ...
Things they do not tell you about having kids
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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15 March 2013: Things They Do Not Tell You About Having Kids By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships I always try to be very practical and realistic in my articles. This can come across very negative, given that my topic is Relationships (and all things relative...
When Friendship Is Meaningless
No replies yet... 8 March 2013: Friendship Is Meaningless Stop Hanging Out With Friends Who Sexually Reject You By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Friendship is meaningless. There I said it. Now before you shoot one of your nasty emails to the editor, actually read this colum...
Who Cares What People Think? Depends...
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
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1 March 2013: How Much Should You Care About What Other People Think? By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships T here will be times when we want to do something in our lives that is meaningful to us. It could be a decision related to abandoning education, wh...
Learn How to Choose the Right Fights!
No replies yet... 21 February 2013: Pick And Choose Your Fights By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Fighting in relationships is normal. The issue is not whether you fight. The issue is HOW a couple fights. Do they talk out their disagreements? Do they wait until they are alon...
Starting Over After V-day?
No replies yet... 14 February 2013: Starting Over? By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Valentine’s day can be a day of reckoning for some people. Meaning, the events leading up to, on the day of, and afterwards can really wreck your life. This is one of the reasons I often refer to...
A Relationship is: Acceptance at the Worst, Loving at the Best
No replies yet... 6 February 2013: A Relationship is: Acceptance at the Worst, Loving at the Best By Frank Kermit, Relationships At my weekly relationship workshop last Saturday I issued one of my famous “Frankisms” that seemed to really resonate with the attendees. I was trying...
Asking Hard Questions
No replies yet... 1 February 2013: Asking Hard Questions By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships When trying to decide if you should be committed to someone, moving in with someone, getting engaged, and getting married, each new transition brings about the unpleasant task of askin...
Ex Lovers and Weddings Do Not Mix
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24 January 2013: Ex Lovers and Weddings Do Not Mix By Frank Kermit, Relationships If you ever had sex with someone that is about to get married, and have been invited to the wedding, do not go. This is especially true if the spouse-to-be feels uncomfortable havi...
Couples in Transition: Monogamy and Non-monogamy
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16 January 2013: Couples in Transition: Monogamy and Non-monogamy By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Couples who are experiencing a transition in the status of their relationship may sometimes look to explore new ways of redefining their sex lives b...
Common Sense For Common Scents By Frank Kermit, Relationships
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13 December 2012: Common Sense For Common Scents By Frank Kermit, Relationships As the holiday season approaches, invitations begin to swarm in for get-togethers from family, friends and even office parties. It is a time of people coming together, and in some ca...
Couples in Transition
No replies yet... 29 November 2012: Couples in Transition By Frank Kermit, Relationships When a couple is going through a change in the status of their relationship they are a couple in transition. This includes couples that are transitioning from monogamy to non-monogamy, from no...
Your Home Is Your Seduction
No replies yet... 15 November 2012: Your Home Is Your Seduction By Frank Kermit, Relationships Your date is coming over to your place! You have seen each other a couple of times already, but this is different. This is YOUR PLACE, not some coffee shop or movie theatre or restaur...
The Movie Of Your Life’s Journey
No replies yet... 6 November 2012: The Movie Of Your Life’s Journey By Frank Kermit, Relationships The movie of your life is how we each envision our lives unfolding throughout our life span. This concept goes beyond simple fantasizing of what your life would be like. Writing ...
What Love Masks by Frank Kermit
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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2 November 2012: What Love Masks By Frank Kermit, Relationships A mentor of mine taught me that love is not blind; it is just that categories are rigid. When you meet someone, you put that person in a category (lover, friend, temptation, fling, does-no...
The Chocolate Made It Too Much Work: An Article About EFT and Weight Loss
No replies yet... 2 November 2012: The Chocolate Made It Too Much Work An Article About EFT and Weight Loss I have a confession. I used to daydream about food. You know that point in the day when someone catches you; your head in your hands, that dreamy look on your face? If so...
Have You Tried NOT Dating Your Type?
No replies yet... 1 November 2012: Have You Tried NOT Dating Your Type? By Frank Kermit, Relationships We all have our “type”. By “type” I am referring to that type of person each of us is madly attracted too. Each of us has our preference of what we like, what turns us on, ...
Is there such a thing as Happily Single?
No replies yet... 19 October 2012: Is there such a thing as Happily Single? By Frank Kermit, Relationships Is being single really that bad? After all, when a person considers the amount of pain that a relationship or casual dating can cause, it may seem that just skipping the w...
Be Thankful For a Broken Heart
No replies yet... 11 October 2012: Be Thankful For A Broken Heart By Frank Kermit, Relationships Ok, I hate this. I really hate this part of the process. However, it is a necessary part of the process, and if I am expected to help encourage others to do it, first I have to demo...
Stop Talking About Your Ex On Dates!
No replies yet... 5 October 2012: Stop Talking So Much About Your Ex By Frank Kermit, Relationships So you are on a date with someone new. You are excited. You are nervous. You hope that this is finally going to be the one. You meet. So far, you both like what you see. This...
Dating in Social Circles
No replies yet... 29 September 2012: Dating In Social Circles By Frank Kermit, Relationships Dating can be tricky. Does the other person like you the way you think he or she might? Do you really like that person enough to get more serious, or do you want to keep it more casual a...
Frank Guide to Speed Dating
No replies yet... 21 September 2012: Frank Guide To Speed Dating By Frank Kermit, Relationships Every way to meet someone new is a good way. Though friends, through the Internet, blind dates, approaching someone you want to meet, at a workshop, matchmaking companies, business conv...
Relationship Goal Setting
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15 September 2012: Relationship Goal Setting By Frank Kermit, Relationships Setting goals in most areas of your life can be challenging. When it comes to relationships, there are even more challenges. Whereas in other areas of your life such as education, emplo...
Battling The Savior Complex in Relationships
No replies yet... 6 September 2012: Battling The Savior Complex By Frank Kermit, Relationships As children, many of us grew up on stories about the hero that saves a person, and in the process, earned the undying love and loyalty of the person saved so that the hero and that saved ...
Get Out Of Your Own Way!
No replies yet... 30 August 2012: Get Out Of Your Own Way By Frank Kermit, Relationships One of the biggest obstacles that a person can have as an obstruction on their path of finding happiness, peace and healing for their love life, is themselves. Although most people wou...
Your Choices Today Become The Past You Have To Share Tomorrow
No replies yet... 26 August 2012: Your Choices Today Become The Past You Have To Share Tomorrow By Frank Kermit, Relationships Young adults tend to discount how the choices they make today will impact their futures tomorrow. At least, when it comes to relationships. The bes...
Are You A Partner Or A Liability?
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
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17 August 2012: Are You A Partner Or A Liability? When it really is you and not them By Frank Kermit, Relationships “It’s not you, it’s me.” Have you ever heard that said to you when someone broke up with you? Have you ever been the one to use it when dump...
The 7 Weird Words That Help Define Relationships
No replies yet... 9 August 2012: The 7 Weird Words That Help Define Relationships By Frank Kermit, Relationships There are 7 certain words that catch many people off guard when it comes to relationships. They are: Lust, Love, Sex, Dating, Commitment, Marriage, and Monogamy. ...
Fear of Conflict Is Rooted in The Fear Of Loss.
No replies yet... 20 July 2012: Fear of Conflict Is Rooted in The Fear Of Loss By Frank Kermit, Relationships Are you too nice when it comes to relationships? Do you walk on eggshells because you do not want to upset your partner? Are you reluctant to enforce your bounda...
Re-Establishing Trust in a Relationship Article
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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12 July 2012: Broken Trust Takes More Than Time To Re-Establish By Frank Kermit, Relationships Trust is one of the most important components of a relationship. Love is a great start, but it takes more than loving someone, or being loved by someone, to make ...
Understanding Emotional Needs
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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4 July 2012: Understanding Emotional Needs: What We Respond To Versus What We Should Like By Frank Kermit, Relationships Emotional needs are about what a person responds to. It has nothing to do with what a person should like. We all should be attracte...
Red Flags: What To Watch Out For On A Date
No replies yet... 29 June 2012: Red Flags: What To Watch Out For On A Date By Frank Kermit, Relationships When you are on a date, and the person you are getting to know says or does something that triggers a well-honed instinct that you need to stop dating that person, you hav...
The Art of Storytelling on a Date
No replies yet... 25 June 2012: Art of Storytelling: Make or Break A Relationship Happy Ending By Frank Kermit, Relationships One of the challenges that people face when they go on dates is that they may not factor in that others will not understand what they are trying ...
Swinger Beginner Advice
No replies yet... 25 June 2012: Swinger Beginners: Keep it Out of the Work Place By Frank Kermit, Relationships Dear Frank, My husband and I recently returned from a business trip/vacation where a few of my husband's co-workers also brought their wives. We really hit it o...
When your Ex becomes a symbol and you can't get over it
No replies yet... 13 June 2012: When Your Ex Becomes A Symbol Relationship Symbolism of Why You Are Still Hooked By Frank Kermit, Relationships We are surrounded by the power of symbols. A symbol is more than just a design we recognize; symbols are a means of making meaning. ...
Ally Vs Enemy: Understanding The Emotional Needs of Men
No replies yet... 9 June 2012: Is She His Ally or His Enemy? Understanding The Emotional Needs of Men By Frank Kermit, Relationships The best way I know how to teach people about the emotional needs of men is to break it down to absolute fundamentals. If people can und...
Dating After A Break Up - Just How Long Should You Wait?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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1 June 2012: Dating After Breaking Up? The Sooner The Better By Frank Kermit, Relationships “How much time should I wait before I start dating again?” is a common question that I get asked from someone that has just recently gotten dumped, and still sufferi...
Relationship Redemption: How To Forgive Yourself and Get Closure
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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23 May 2012: Relationship Redemption How To Forgive Yourself and Get Closure By Frank Kermit, Relationships We all make mistakes in life. If you have ever tried to get into a relationship, are in a relationship, or are recovering from a relationship, ...
Finding The Meaning Of Your Life And Relationships
No replies yet... 15 May 2012: The Meaning of your Relationships Starts With The Meaning Of Your Life By Frank Kermit, Relationships Contemplate your death. No seriously. In order to make meanings of your relationships past, present and those you will have in the futur...
The Mother-Lover Theory Understanding The Emotional Needs of Women
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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10 May 2012: The Mother-Lover Theory Understanding The Emotional Needs of Women By Frank Kermit, Relationships A woman can only play one of two roles in a man’s life. She is either his mother or his lover. She cannot be both. When a man addresses a wom...
Moving To The Next Level: Understanding The Hierarchy of Relationships
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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1 May 2012: Moving To The Next Level Understanding The Hierarchy of Relationships By Frank Kermit, Relationships One of the biggest mistakes people make in relationships is to promote someone up the hierarchy of commitment that has not really earned it. I...
Beware Your Friends when it comes to love
No replies yet... 15 April 2012: Beware Your Friends They May Not Want You To Be Loved By Frank Kermit, Relationships Mistakes Singles Make # 6… Seeking the approval of friends that influences your love life choices. Love may come and go, but a friendship can last a lifetim...
Are Relationships Worth The Risk?
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8 April 2012: Relationships = Risk But is it really worth it? By Frank Kermit, Relationships Given that there is so much risk in getting involved in relationships, or having sex for that matter, is it at all worth it to even bother? After all, a broken hear...
Tattoos and Relationships
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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24 March 2012: Beware The L-I-N-K Of (L)ove and (INK) By Frank Kermit, Relationships While at a coffee shop a few weeks ago, I met a tattoo artist. He had his son’s name tattooed on his hand, and being the ever-inquisitive one, I asked him about his profession...
Open Relationships and Infidelity
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17 March 2012: Open Relationships Do Not Always Stave Off Infidelity By Frank Kermit, Relationships Some people believe that one of the surest ways to guarantee fidelity is to only do open relationships. The premise is that people only cheat in monogamous ...
What is a Relationship?
No replies yet... 10 March 2012: What is a Relationship? Is best defined by what it’s NOT By Frank Kermit, Relationships Over the years, I have been asked a number of times “What is a Relationship?” This is a harder question to answer than most people think. In my experience,...
Engaged! Now what?
No replies yet... 19 February 2012: Pre Marital Disclosure What you don’t know, you must know By Frank Kermit, Relationships Valentines day has come and gone. Some relationships have started. Some relationships have ended, and some relationships have proceeded to the next le...
Making Monogamy Work
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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5 February 2012: Making Monogamy Work By Frank Kermit, Relationships Monogamy is easier than open relationships, because the rules are simpler...but the application of the rules of monogamy is not as easy. Monogamy works for monogamous people...however...
Single Parent Dating, Not Just a Single Issue
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3 February 2012: Single Parent Dating – More Than Just A Single Issue By Frank Kermit At least 40% of marriages end in divorce. Depending on the study you read, the percentage can be higher. Even though the break down of families continues, the drive that ma...
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46 year old man and never had a girlfriend
Q. I am 46 years old and have never had a girlfriend. I have always been too shy to approach a woman for a date. I did have issues with my build in the teenage years. Being tall and thin, I became very shy and awkward in social situations. The jobs ...
A. 25 August 2010: No, it is not too late.
I have worked with Adult Male Virgins who were older than you.
Accord to stats, 2% of the population have never had sex. The research only goes to the age of 50, but I have heard of people losing their virginity to the... (read in full...)
I want his personality and him,but not his looks. What do I do?
Q. I've been dating this wonderful man long distance for two years.it got to the point i wanted to marry this man!but then..he came to visit me.and when i saw him,my heart fell. I knew he was overweight but i didn't expect this! Sometimes i have dif...
A. 25 August 2010: A relationship is not a relationship until you meet in person. That is my professional and personal opinion, and you just demonstrated why.
You either accept him as is, or end it and find someone else. That is your only choice. Asking him to c... (read in full...)
I need to save my marriage!!
Q. I need to save my marriage! It is very difficult, because I already went to the doctor and the sex therapist, but they couldn't help me so far. I love my wife, but few years ago, suddenly I stopped feeling sexual desire and developed several sexual ...
A. 18 August 2010: Here are some suggestions...
1- go to asexuality.org
it is a website run by David Jay about asexuality and it is the leading source of information available for people going through what you are going through.
I did an interview with Mr. Jay, an... (read in full...)
We want to have anal sex, advice?
Q. Hey Peoples ! , Me and my boyfriend are both virgins and we've decided to have anal sex so there wont be a risk of me getting pregnant , will he still have to wear a condom though? and is anal sex good? Thanks , :) ...
A. 16 August 2010: Anal sex might be illegal for your age group believe it or not.
You are still a minor, and the law for vagina/penis penetration and anal penetration might be different for your territory. Look into it before your bf gets arrested for statutor... (read in full...)
I slept with my cousin and we're having trouble distancing ourselves. Is that really so bad?
Q. Hi I'm a 19yr old guy and i've had sex with my 20yr old cousin (and took her virginity). She has always been a tomboy all the way through her childhood and only ever wore a dress once when she was a bridesmaid. We'd always been dead good mates, b...
A. 11 August 2010: Legally, it depends where you live.
Some places have laws that forbid first cousins (I assume that is what you mean) from getting married, and other places, it is legal and you can even have children.
Before you get serious or get with each ot... (read in full...)
I want my husband back, not this overweight unhealthy man!
Q. i feel very lost.. my husband has always been heavy.. he is 6 ft 2 and 478. i am 5 ft 9 and 135. sometimes i think i know too much being a nurse as i watch his weight go up and our marriage go down. yes i love him. i have changed our home eating to ...
A. 9 August 2010: For Better Or For Worse...
In sickness and in health...
Sound familiar? I assume they were part of your wedding vows. Obesity does not just happen over night and usually stems from some deep rooted unresolved issue. Obesity is NOT laziness.
... (read in full...)
Why is it so hard to find a man with Catholic values?
Q. Why is it so hard to find someone with Catholic values? i.e. a guy who is waiting til marriage to lose his virginity. i know many guys want to marry a virgin but if they are not virgin themselves, no deal. Are there any virgin male out there wh...
A. 8 August 2010: In order for someone to get each other a message, you have to create an account here. Anonymous profiles have no account.
I volunteer to be your go between. If I can put you both together, and things work out, then great.
I give each of you... (read in full...)
After four years my boyfriend still doesn't want to move in together
Q. Hi, I have been going out with my boyfriend for 4 years and I really want to move in together. I have been living on my own for 7 years and he is still living with his mom at 27???!! I am 25. He says he is not ready and I am afraid he will never be ...
A. 8 August 2010: He already told you that he is not ready. If he is not ready at 27 and four years with you, then nothing you say or do is going to make him ready.
The real issue that you need to confront is not where he is at in his life, but why would you want... (read in full...)
I need to sow my wild oats
Q. i am in a relationship with a man who already sewed his wild oats while he was younger. i havent done any of that, but i was in a couple of troubled relationship before where the sex was not so great. my bf could not be a better man and very proper ...
A. 8 August 2010: It sounds to me like you are finally getting into an emotionally healthy relationship, and are looking for ways to sabotage your chances. (You are already trying to justice cheating on him, which is never a good sign).
Maybe you need to stay out... (read in full...)
Why is it so hard to find a man with Catholic values?
Q. Why is it so hard to find someone with Catholic values? i.e. a guy who is waiting til marriage to lose his virginity. i know many guys want to marry a virgin but if they are not virgin themselves, no deal. Are there any virgin male out there wh...
A. 8 August 2010: Yes there are.
I know one, and he finds the same struggles you do.
The key is to include the fact that you seek someone of the same religion and values as you have, and to communicate them. You also have to remember not to be too picky when y... (read in full...)
She's broke up with me, but says she'll date me later??!!!!??
Q. I was dating a 20 yr old for over a year and I'm 31 yrs old. We recently broke up but still talk. My question is she says she loves me as a person and says she would date me at a later time when I was ready. What does that mean? Also she says she ...
A. 7 August 2010: It means she has no intentions of dating you again, but wants to keep you hooked on her because of the attention you give her and the resources you offer her (your help, your gifts, your money, favors she can ask of you).
If she was really i... (read in full...)
I think I might still have feelings for my ex, even though I'm engaged to his best friend!
Q. About a year in a half ago I started dating a co worker. It ended because he went back to his ex. I was heart broken but eventually moved on myself, with his roommate/best friend. I don't know exactly how it happneded. But now we are engaged and ...
A. 29 July 2010: Show your fiance this email, and if he does not break up with you, then you must end the engagement.
-Frank... (read in full...)
My Sister Bullies Me, But I've Been Forced to Invite Her to My Wedding
Q. hey i need some advice. my problem is i hate my sister and my mum made me send my sister an invite to my wedding. i dont want her there! shes always been so jealous of me, to the point she used to physically, mentally and emotionally abuse me. ...
A. 27 July 2010: You are an adult.
That means you have the power and rights of an adult which includes not inviting someone you do not want at your party.
Being an adult also means that you have to deal with the consequences of being an adult which is that wh... (read in full...)
Fiancee lied about being a virgin, how can I let her down gently so she can find someone of the same mindset?
Q. Hai, il go straight to the point. My fiancee lied to me that she was a virgin, am 27 years and i kept my virginity she told me she slept with 10 guys and i dont i can marry her. How do i let her go gently so that she can find some else with her same ...
A. 21 July 2010: As I said...it is not an issue of "who had more partners". It is an issue of what a person values, and do they have similar enough values to make a marriage work.
You did the right thing.
I think you may want to consider yourself lucky t... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my husband leave me alone about smoking?
Q. I'm a smoker, and my husband doesn't like it. I don't understand why he thinks he is allowed to tell me what I can can't do. He said he likes it better when I hide it from him, but I don't see the point in having something so stupid be kept a ...
A. 16 July 2010: I would ask if you started smoking before you got married, or if you started after? This may play into his attitude.
There could be a number of reasons as to why he says something:
-wants you to live longer
-wants you to smell better when he k... (read in full...)
My daughter's lie about her dad raping her broke up our marriage...
Q. Please help me on this.... How can you get your family back on track when a lie so big destroyed it. It started on 7/7/09. I've been with this man since I was 18 at that time I had 2 kids and later found out I was pregnant but not from him with my ...
A. 15 July 2010: Here are some suggestions...
1-get your daughter into some therapy. Now. And this goes for all your kids. Blended families are hard enough, but I do not think the lot of you will be a family again after this.
2-since you called the polic... (read in full...)
He won't move out and the police don't help..how do I evict my 46yr old drug addicted roommate?
Q. Please help with this problem. I live with a guy who smokes crack frequently. It didn't start out this way years ago when I met him. He was in AA and clean. He started this, unbenownst to me at the time, when he took his first drink again after ...
A. 10 July 2010: Something is not clear in this question.
If he is just your room-mate and you do not owe, but rent this apartment, then couldn't you just move out?
If he can not pay for rent, is his name on the lease, or is it just YOUR place and you paying r... (read in full...)
Help!!! How can I control my panic attacks?
Q. I need help. I suffer from panic attacks, and i don't know how to control them. I worry a lot about death, i have a big fear of it. I get really scared when i think about what happens to your body when you die, and i feel like i can't breathe. I ...
A. 4 July 2010: 1-see a professional therapist
2-look up the work of Lucinda Bassett. She is an expert on dealing with anxiety and has a number of products to help deal with it
You are not alone.
-Frank... (read in full...)
I'm hiding a big dark secret..I'm a virgin!
Q. Hi everyone, I'm adding another woeful post to the list of adult virgins out there who need help. But my situation has an unusual twist... First off, let me just say that no matter how this will sound, I'm not being arrogant. I genuinely need h...
A. 3 July 2010: In my practice, I have worked with many many men who, like you, are/were adult male virgins.
You are not alone. In fact, at 28, you still have plenty of time to get comfortable with yourself and sex.
First, stop putting so much pressure on... (read in full...)
Looking for a hextrosexual relationship, am I being niave??
Q. Hello this is a question that I have to ask, me and a guy i know were talking the other day (this guy hastnt been the first person to say this) he came up with the theory 'all females are bisexual' and it got me thinking... I am a 22 year old male...
A. 2 July 2010: I can tell you from my experience in the swinger culture, and with polyamory open relationships, where people have the freedom to have sex with who ever they want, that NO, not every woman is bisexual.
There are some women that simply have zer... (read in full...)
He cheated because he was drunk and I cant get over it!
Q. Okay, so me and my boyfriend have been going out for 9 months...we started going out sept.7, 2009 and its now June.30, 2010... Back in Feburary he decided to throw a small party when his mother was away and get drunk...( one girl and 4 guys) well ...
A. 2 July 2010: Given the circumstances of alcohol and minors, I think there could be enough for what happened to qualify as statutory rape, if not full rape and sexual assault. Who was drunk, to what point, what level of consent, who provided the alcohol, who had ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend often makes cruel 'jokes' about me
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for two years. We occassionally have problems because he pokes fun at me and 'jokes' in very cruel ways. Two days ago he was making fun of me because of how 'ugly I look when having an orgasm.' This was the fourth t...
A. 26 June 2010: Dump him.
There is a difference between a joke and emotional manipulation.
What he is doing is hurtful emotional manipulation to undermine any positive belief you have in yourself so he can destroy your self esteem.
Read the book, Emotio... (read in full...)
She lied about so many things, would I be stupid to take her back?
Q. so i've been dating this great girl for the better part of a year now, but recently, i find out (partially because she started to admit and partially because i prodded a bit) that she lied about 1) the number of people she's slept with (probably s...
A. 26 June 2010: You were together for almost a year...so here are some of my thoughts...
A lot of what you asked is not something anyone needs to admit to when casually dating. In fact, some of those things are on a need to know basis. In my opinion, if you were... (read in full...)
Do men ever fall in love with their booty calls?
Q. Do guys ever actually like their "booty calls"? Or even fall in love with them?...
A. 21 June 2010: Very unlikely.
For men, Sex is an emotional need.
But it is not enough to get his romantic love nor commitment.
For that you need to address all of his primary emotional needs to earn a bonding trust that will make him commit to you.
It... (read in full...)
The girl who advertised on-line for casual sex is using my sister's photo!
Q. A few weeks ago, I responded to an online ad for casual sex. I'm 27 and single, and I was planning to use protection, so I didn't think it was that big of a deal. I chatted online with the girl who placed it a few times, and she seemed really cool, ...
A. 13 May 2010: This could be a major legal issue (ID theft)
or
this could be you and your sister talking
or
this could be someone trying to hurt your sister
or
this could be a prank being played on you to hold something over you
The most direct way t... (read in full...)
Videotapes of wife with ex....
Q. I found a video of my wife with an ex, she says she thought they had been erased. I knew they had sex and that my wife wasn't a virgin, so I am not so disappointed by that, but rather in the video he finished by giving her a facial. I always ...
A. 1 May 2010: Before you start worrying about what she does/does not do with you, ask yourself who else has copies of videos of your wife having sex...that would be my concern for you.
In my experience when a woman is willing to do any sex act with one man, and... (read in full...)
Why cant he just be happy with kissing me?
Q. I seem to have a bit of a problem with a guy, everytime we get together and kiss he always asks me to give him a blow job, the thing is we have just started kissing, it's really starting to annoy me because I like him a lot and I have said to him ...
A. 30 April 2010: Maybe you should not be dating him since the two of you are at different comfort zones sexually.
Are you really 22-25?
-Frank... (read in full...)
Why do guys cheat on their girlfriends?
Q. Why do guys cheat on their girlfriends! I just found out that a guy I had met a few times and who made it obvious liked me had kissed me when he had a girlfriend of a year or more. To make it worse he had been out with her that night and she had ...
A. 12 April 2010: For the same reason that women cheat.
Their emotional needs (whether they be healthy or not) are not being fully met in the relationships they are in, and they do not consider structuring open relationships based on honestly as an option. ... (read in full...)
I love to watch my wife having sex, but don't get the same thrill if it's another woman. Why?
Q. I love to watch my wife having sex,but i don't get the same rush if it's another woman..Why is that?????...
A. 5 April 2010: I answered a similar question on this forum before...here is that answer...
Yes. You will find the answer to this in the book Sperm Wars. The idea is that sexual jealousy, when re-channeled can make the male orgasm more pleasurable.
Basical... (read in full...)
I don't want kids at our wedding, my fiance does... how can we resolve this?
Q. Hi, I'm getting married next year and me and my fiancé keep disagreeing over 1 particular issue - having children at our wedding. Now I'm sure i'm going to get a lot of "hate" responses but I'm not trying to be nasty. I don't want children...
A. 30 March 2010: I do not have strong feelings about having or not having children at a wedding. It is up to the couple if and when they should attend. I do totally understand, as I have attended wedding where it was hard to enjoy the ceremony because some parent ... (read in full...)
Love at work place
Q. I am married for the last seven years and I have two kids, however my marriage is loveless. Last year I met this woman at work she is divorced with kids. From the first moment I saw her, I felt attracted to her and she was to me and in no time we ...
A. 27 March 2010: Take all of this energy that you are putting into this other woman, and re-direct it into your actual marriage.
Next, look up the policy at your workplace regarding relations between co-workers.
Do you have PROOF that all contact between ... (read in full...)
Fiancee lied about being a virgin, how can I let her down gently so she can find someone of the same mindset?
Q. Hai, il go straight to the point. My fiancee lied to me that she was a virgin, am 27 years and i kept my virginity she told me she slept with 10 guys and i dont i can marry her. How do i let her go gently so that she can find some else with her same ...
A. 27 March 2010: Be honest, direct and very CALM when you tell her, and tell her as soon as possible.
If you value being honest and being a virgin for your wedding, then you are right to seek out someone that values the same thing. If she does not have the same... (read in full...)
How do I deal with the Lesbian Bed Death phenomena?
Q. I am a bisexual female with an extremely high sex drive. I have been in a lesbian relationship for the last several years with a woman who NEVER wants sex. I believe we are experiencing what I've heard referred to as Lesbian Bed Death. I've been ...
A. 27 March 2010: Before you end your relationship, consider that it might be the relationship structure that needs adjustment.
If you have such a high sex drive and you are bisexual, it is unlikely that a monogamous relationship structure is going to satisfy ... (read in full...)
I am so worried my family will spoil my engagement party!
Q. i'm so worried about my engagement party becos of my family will spoil it. they wont argue with my fiancés family, no. they will argue amongst themselves, about petty things, and it will just ruin everything, cos they cant be around eachothe...
A. 27 March 2010: Is eloping an option? If so, consider it.
Otherwise, you can always speak directly to all members of the family that you are concerned about this, and tell each of them directly that if ANY of them start to fight, they will be escorted out, and... (read in full...)
I've been offered to appear in an adult film. Any advice as to what goes on behind the scenes?
Q. I have been with my partner for 8 years and we have a solid relationship, in the past we have had threesomes with single men/woman and couples, it's never been something we do all of the time, just on the odd occasion, I have recently been offered ...
A. 27 March 2010: Just so you know...once you make such a video, there is no turning back. It will follow you the rest of your life.
Once they shoot it, they own it lock stock and barrel...you have no say who they show it to, where it is seen or distribu... (read in full...)
Should I contact her to express my sympathy?
Q. I have recently found out that an ex-girlfriend of mine, her father died last July. When I went to qualify this information that I was given, I also found out that her mother had died 3 years ago. I have very fond memories of her, although we have ...
A. 25 March 2010: Depends on it ended...
When my father died, some of my exs contacted me.
Those that ended well (as well as a break up could be), I thought it a nice gesture.
Except one ex.
I wanted nothing to do with her, and I felt she was just using th... (read in full...)
How do you make a three person relationship work?
Q. I just want to know if anyone is in a 3-some relationship. If so can u tell me how you make it work cause I'm in one and sometimes i feel uncomfortable. ...
A. 25 March 2010: It depends WHY you feel uncomfortable...is it because you all live together? Are you the one dating the couple? Are you part of the couple that is dating a third person? Is it only sexual, or is there an emotional connection? Have there been any ... (read in full...)
How do I get the video off her???
Q. This is hard for me to confess, I have been married for 15 years and I am very in love with my husband but I have cheated on him with another girl for 5 years. I care about my girlfriend and feel comfortable with her and love our intimacy a lot but ...
A. 25 March 2010: if you are that worried about blackmail, then you need to tell your husband before she, or someone else, does. It is very possible that others know of this affair, and that your lover could have should that video to her friends.
I doubt she woul... (read in full...)
The baby girl I had adopted is in my class!!! (I'm teaching her!)
Q. I'm an 8th grade teacher and when i was younger I had a baby girl and put her up for adoption because i was only 15 at the time i had her. Now I recently recieved an email from the parents of a child informing me that my daughter was in my class. ...
A. 25 March 2010: What is it with all the fake questions on this site lately?... (read in full...)
If the first topic on the first date is polygamy, what would you think?
Q. hello, I have a question, if a man asks you out on date and the first topic he talks about is polygamy. what would you think!...
A. 24 March 2010: I would hazard a guess and think that he is already married and just preparing you to let you know. Without further information, that is just my guess.
If he is married, or in a serious open relationship...does his wife know about you yet?
... (read in full...)
What are the qualities a guy looks for in a girl to be his life partner?
Q. what are the qualities a guy looks for in a girl to be his life partner.....?...
A. 24 March 2010: 1.Protect his reputation
2. Quiet time for him to recharge, relax, regenerate
3. Can you mind the store while he is incapacitated
4. Compliance with his wishes without blind obedience
5. Nurture his investments, environment and lifestyle
6. Be... (read in full...)
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