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... Send *rank B Kermit a private message | | | *rank B Kermit's profile:Frank Kermit, MA is an Expert Relationship and Dating Coach. He is a Best Selling Author, educator, and regular media correspondent.
He teaches men and women about their emotional needs, how to address each others emotional needs, to be applied to ongoing loving relationships. In 2011, Frank completed an Advanced Certificate in Trauma Counseling and in 2014 completed a certificate in Hypnotherapy.
Frank Kermit has a newsletters that the public can sign up for:
http://www.franktalks.com/newsletter/ (upcoming media spots)
and when you sign up, you get a 400+ page ebook for free (a collection of 100 of Frank's best articles)
Frank answers public questions on dearcupid.org when and IF he has the time. Please understand that Frank makes a professional living through his Date Coaching, and therefore his private paying clients must come first. Frank does not answer private questions received on dearcupid.org unless you want to hire him for some private one on one coaching via skype or over the phone. You can learn more about Frank's Coaching services at www.franktalks.com/
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| Latest articles: Off Limits Dating
No replies yet... 18 September 2013: Is Someone Off Limits for Dating? By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Mastering the art of dating requires a number of skills such as being socially calibrated, effective communication and knowing what you want. One of the areas that comes up for ...
How to Deal with a Toxic Person
No replies yet... 18 September 2013: The Best Way To Deal With Toxic People By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Toxic people are defined in this article as people who lack the capacity to reason, or people have the capacity to reason but just do not want to reason with you. In t...
A Broken Engagement is Better Than A Happy Divorce
No replies yet... 31 August 2013: A Broken Engagement is Better Than A Happy Divorce By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships One of the ironies of couples counseling that I often find myself doing is taking the couple through the pre-marital coaching process when they may already be...
A Frank Comment on Miley Cyrus
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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31 August 2013: A Frank Comment On Miley Cyrus By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships I do not normally comment on the antics of popular culture, as so much of what we see of movies and TV are fiction based romances and relationships. I tried my best to stay fo...
The Wedding Speech
No replies yet... 26 July 2013: The Wedding Speech Remember this day, your wedding day. Not for the dresses and suits, not for the extravagance, nor the dinner and dancing, but remember your wedding day because of the reasons you chose to marry your spouse. Remember who is it that...
Sexually Incompatible Couples
No replies yet... 19 July 2013: Sexually Incompatible Couples Sex is not the most important thing in a relationship. However, couples who love each other dearly and connect on so many levels, but whom are sexually incompatible tend to find that sex can be at the core of a numb...
Separation and Dating, Part 2 of 2
No replies yet... 28 June 2013: Separation and Dating, Part 2 of 2 Separation does not automatically lead to divorce unless you let it. It is up to you and your partner to put in the work so that it does not happen. In the event you are the only one trying to work on yourself and ...
Separation and Dating Part 1 of 2
No replies yet... 22 June 2013: Separation and Dating Part 1 of 2 One of the most damaging actions an individual can take is to start dating someone new when going through a separation with their serious long term partner (spouse, common-law partner or a defacto-union). When I use ...
The Frank Break Up Formula
No replies yet... 14 June 2013: The Frank Break Up Formula By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Breaking up with someone is rarely an enjoyable or pleasant experience. In fact, there are those individuals who stay in less than satisfying relationships, and even can go all the ...
The Frank Romance Formula part 3 of 3
No replies yet... 8 June 2013: The Frank Romance Formula Part 3 By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Continued from last article: The Frank Romance Formula is: A. (Stimulation of the 5 senses) + B. (Addressing the emotional needs of that person) + C. (Sensual/Sexual Contex...
The Frank Romance Formula Part 2 of 3
No replies yet... 3 June 2013: The Frank Romance Formula Part 2 By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Continued from last article: The Frank Romance Formula is: A. (Stimulation of the 5 senses) + B. (Addressing the emotional needs of that person) + C. (Sensual/Sexual Contex...
The Secret Of Seduction is that it Happens in the Future
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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3 May 2013: The Secret Of Seduction is that it Happens in the Future By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships The future is where actual seduction takes place. That is the key to seduction. It has very little to do with turning someone on when you see them. I...
The S.L.A.P. Theory Of Life Lessons
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27 April 2013: The S.L.A.P. Theory Of Life Lessons By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Sometimes life will slap you down when it has a lesson to teach you. For some people, the slap may be a light swat, and for others the slap has to be a severe smack down. ...
Dating With Disabilities
No replies yet... 5 April 2013: Dating With Disabilities by Frank Kermit ND, Relationships I once went on a date with a woman that had severe food allergies. We went out to a movie and I wished she had told me ahead of time. Although she mentioned that she was deathly all...
Rejection: The Worst Best Thing That Can Ever Happen
No replies yet... 21 March 2013: Rejection: The Worst Best Thing That Can Ever Happen By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Rejection is the worst best thing that can ever happen to you. Managing rejection is a necessary part in managing your love life. Over the course of your ...
Things they do not tell you about having kids
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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15 March 2013: Things They Do Not Tell You About Having Kids By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships I always try to be very practical and realistic in my articles. This can come across very negative, given that my topic is Relationships (and all things relative...
When Friendship Is Meaningless
No replies yet... 8 March 2013: Friendship Is Meaningless Stop Hanging Out With Friends Who Sexually Reject You By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Friendship is meaningless. There I said it. Now before you shoot one of your nasty emails to the editor, actually read this colum...
Who Cares What People Think? Depends...
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
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1 March 2013: How Much Should You Care About What Other People Think? By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships T here will be times when we want to do something in our lives that is meaningful to us. It could be a decision related to abandoning education, wh...
Learn How to Choose the Right Fights!
No replies yet... 21 February 2013: Pick And Choose Your Fights By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Fighting in relationships is normal. The issue is not whether you fight. The issue is HOW a couple fights. Do they talk out their disagreements? Do they wait until they are alon...
Starting Over After V-day?
No replies yet... 14 February 2013: Starting Over? By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Valentine’s day can be a day of reckoning for some people. Meaning, the events leading up to, on the day of, and afterwards can really wreck your life. This is one of the reasons I often refer to...
A Relationship is: Acceptance at the Worst, Loving at the Best
No replies yet... 6 February 2013: A Relationship is: Acceptance at the Worst, Loving at the Best By Frank Kermit, Relationships At my weekly relationship workshop last Saturday I issued one of my famous “Frankisms” that seemed to really resonate with the attendees. I was trying...
Asking Hard Questions
No replies yet... 1 February 2013: Asking Hard Questions By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships When trying to decide if you should be committed to someone, moving in with someone, getting engaged, and getting married, each new transition brings about the unpleasant task of askin...
Ex Lovers and Weddings Do Not Mix
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24 January 2013: Ex Lovers and Weddings Do Not Mix By Frank Kermit, Relationships If you ever had sex with someone that is about to get married, and have been invited to the wedding, do not go. This is especially true if the spouse-to-be feels uncomfortable havi...
Couples in Transition: Monogamy and Non-monogamy
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16 January 2013: Couples in Transition: Monogamy and Non-monogamy By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Couples who are experiencing a transition in the status of their relationship may sometimes look to explore new ways of redefining their sex lives b...
Common Sense For Common Scents By Frank Kermit, Relationships
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13 December 2012: Common Sense For Common Scents By Frank Kermit, Relationships As the holiday season approaches, invitations begin to swarm in for get-togethers from family, friends and even office parties. It is a time of people coming together, and in some ca...
Couples in Transition
No replies yet... 29 November 2012: Couples in Transition By Frank Kermit, Relationships When a couple is going through a change in the status of their relationship they are a couple in transition. This includes couples that are transitioning from monogamy to non-monogamy, from no...
Your Home Is Your Seduction
No replies yet... 15 November 2012: Your Home Is Your Seduction By Frank Kermit, Relationships Your date is coming over to your place! You have seen each other a couple of times already, but this is different. This is YOUR PLACE, not some coffee shop or movie theatre or restaur...
The Movie Of Your Life’s Journey
No replies yet... 6 November 2012: The Movie Of Your Life’s Journey By Frank Kermit, Relationships The movie of your life is how we each envision our lives unfolding throughout our life span. This concept goes beyond simple fantasizing of what your life would be like. Writing ...
What Love Masks by Frank Kermit
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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2 November 2012: What Love Masks By Frank Kermit, Relationships A mentor of mine taught me that love is not blind; it is just that categories are rigid. When you meet someone, you put that person in a category (lover, friend, temptation, fling, does-no...
The Chocolate Made It Too Much Work: An Article About EFT and Weight Loss
No replies yet... 2 November 2012: The Chocolate Made It Too Much Work An Article About EFT and Weight Loss I have a confession. I used to daydream about food. You know that point in the day when someone catches you; your head in your hands, that dreamy look on your face? If so...
Have You Tried NOT Dating Your Type?
No replies yet... 1 November 2012: Have You Tried NOT Dating Your Type? By Frank Kermit, Relationships We all have our “type”. By “type” I am referring to that type of person each of us is madly attracted too. Each of us has our preference of what we like, what turns us on, ...
Is there such a thing as Happily Single?
No replies yet... 19 October 2012: Is there such a thing as Happily Single? By Frank Kermit, Relationships Is being single really that bad? After all, when a person considers the amount of pain that a relationship or casual dating can cause, it may seem that just skipping the w...
Be Thankful For a Broken Heart
No replies yet... 11 October 2012: Be Thankful For A Broken Heart By Frank Kermit, Relationships Ok, I hate this. I really hate this part of the process. However, it is a necessary part of the process, and if I am expected to help encourage others to do it, first I have to demo...
Stop Talking About Your Ex On Dates!
No replies yet... 5 October 2012: Stop Talking So Much About Your Ex By Frank Kermit, Relationships So you are on a date with someone new. You are excited. You are nervous. You hope that this is finally going to be the one. You meet. So far, you both like what you see. This...
Dating in Social Circles
No replies yet... 29 September 2012: Dating In Social Circles By Frank Kermit, Relationships Dating can be tricky. Does the other person like you the way you think he or she might? Do you really like that person enough to get more serious, or do you want to keep it more casual a...
Frank Guide to Speed Dating
No replies yet... 21 September 2012: Frank Guide To Speed Dating By Frank Kermit, Relationships Every way to meet someone new is a good way. Though friends, through the Internet, blind dates, approaching someone you want to meet, at a workshop, matchmaking companies, business conv...
Relationship Goal Setting
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15 September 2012: Relationship Goal Setting By Frank Kermit, Relationships Setting goals in most areas of your life can be challenging. When it comes to relationships, there are even more challenges. Whereas in other areas of your life such as education, emplo...
Battling The Savior Complex in Relationships
No replies yet... 6 September 2012: Battling The Savior Complex By Frank Kermit, Relationships As children, many of us grew up on stories about the hero that saves a person, and in the process, earned the undying love and loyalty of the person saved so that the hero and that saved ...
Get Out Of Your Own Way!
No replies yet... 30 August 2012: Get Out Of Your Own Way By Frank Kermit, Relationships One of the biggest obstacles that a person can have as an obstruction on their path of finding happiness, peace and healing for their love life, is themselves. Although most people wou...
Your Choices Today Become The Past You Have To Share Tomorrow
No replies yet... 26 August 2012: Your Choices Today Become The Past You Have To Share Tomorrow By Frank Kermit, Relationships Young adults tend to discount how the choices they make today will impact their futures tomorrow. At least, when it comes to relationships. The bes...
Are You A Partner Or A Liability?
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17 August 2012: Are You A Partner Or A Liability? When it really is you and not them By Frank Kermit, Relationships “It’s not you, it’s me.” Have you ever heard that said to you when someone broke up with you? Have you ever been the one to use it when dump...
The 7 Weird Words That Help Define Relationships
No replies yet... 9 August 2012: The 7 Weird Words That Help Define Relationships By Frank Kermit, Relationships There are 7 certain words that catch many people off guard when it comes to relationships. They are: Lust, Love, Sex, Dating, Commitment, Marriage, and Monogamy. ...
Fear of Conflict Is Rooted in The Fear Of Loss.
No replies yet... 20 July 2012: Fear of Conflict Is Rooted in The Fear Of Loss By Frank Kermit, Relationships Are you too nice when it comes to relationships? Do you walk on eggshells because you do not want to upset your partner? Are you reluctant to enforce your bounda...
Re-Establishing Trust in a Relationship Article
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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12 July 2012: Broken Trust Takes More Than Time To Re-Establish By Frank Kermit, Relationships Trust is one of the most important components of a relationship. Love is a great start, but it takes more than loving someone, or being loved by someone, to make ...
Understanding Emotional Needs
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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4 July 2012: Understanding Emotional Needs: What We Respond To Versus What We Should Like By Frank Kermit, Relationships Emotional needs are about what a person responds to. It has nothing to do with what a person should like. We all should be attracte...
Red Flags: What To Watch Out For On A Date
No replies yet... 29 June 2012: Red Flags: What To Watch Out For On A Date By Frank Kermit, Relationships When you are on a date, and the person you are getting to know says or does something that triggers a well-honed instinct that you need to stop dating that person, you hav...
The Art of Storytelling on a Date
No replies yet... 25 June 2012: Art of Storytelling: Make or Break A Relationship Happy Ending By Frank Kermit, Relationships One of the challenges that people face when they go on dates is that they may not factor in that others will not understand what they are trying ...
Swinger Beginner Advice
No replies yet... 25 June 2012: Swinger Beginners: Keep it Out of the Work Place By Frank Kermit, Relationships Dear Frank, My husband and I recently returned from a business trip/vacation where a few of my husband's co-workers also brought their wives. We really hit it o...
When your Ex becomes a symbol and you can't get over it
No replies yet... 13 June 2012: When Your Ex Becomes A Symbol Relationship Symbolism of Why You Are Still Hooked By Frank Kermit, Relationships We are surrounded by the power of symbols. A symbol is more than just a design we recognize; symbols are a means of making meaning. ...
Ally Vs Enemy: Understanding The Emotional Needs of Men
No replies yet... 9 June 2012: Is She His Ally or His Enemy? Understanding The Emotional Needs of Men By Frank Kermit, Relationships The best way I know how to teach people about the emotional needs of men is to break it down to absolute fundamentals. If people can und...
Dating After A Break Up - Just How Long Should You Wait?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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1 June 2012: Dating After Breaking Up? The Sooner The Better By Frank Kermit, Relationships “How much time should I wait before I start dating again?” is a common question that I get asked from someone that has just recently gotten dumped, and still sufferi...
Relationship Redemption: How To Forgive Yourself and Get Closure
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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23 May 2012: Relationship Redemption How To Forgive Yourself and Get Closure By Frank Kermit, Relationships We all make mistakes in life. If you have ever tried to get into a relationship, are in a relationship, or are recovering from a relationship, ...
Finding The Meaning Of Your Life And Relationships
No replies yet... 15 May 2012: The Meaning of your Relationships Starts With The Meaning Of Your Life By Frank Kermit, Relationships Contemplate your death. No seriously. In order to make meanings of your relationships past, present and those you will have in the futur...
The Mother-Lover Theory Understanding The Emotional Needs of Women
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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10 May 2012: The Mother-Lover Theory Understanding The Emotional Needs of Women By Frank Kermit, Relationships A woman can only play one of two roles in a man’s life. She is either his mother or his lover. She cannot be both. When a man addresses a wom...
Moving To The Next Level: Understanding The Hierarchy of Relationships
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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1 May 2012: Moving To The Next Level Understanding The Hierarchy of Relationships By Frank Kermit, Relationships One of the biggest mistakes people make in relationships is to promote someone up the hierarchy of commitment that has not really earned it. I...
Beware Your Friends when it comes to love
No replies yet... 15 April 2012: Beware Your Friends They May Not Want You To Be Loved By Frank Kermit, Relationships Mistakes Singles Make # 6… Seeking the approval of friends that influences your love life choices. Love may come and go, but a friendship can last a lifetim...
Are Relationships Worth The Risk?
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8 April 2012: Relationships = Risk But is it really worth it? By Frank Kermit, Relationships Given that there is so much risk in getting involved in relationships, or having sex for that matter, is it at all worth it to even bother? After all, a broken hear...
Tattoos and Relationships
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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24 March 2012: Beware The L-I-N-K Of (L)ove and (INK) By Frank Kermit, Relationships While at a coffee shop a few weeks ago, I met a tattoo artist. He had his son’s name tattooed on his hand, and being the ever-inquisitive one, I asked him about his profession...
Open Relationships and Infidelity
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17 March 2012: Open Relationships Do Not Always Stave Off Infidelity By Frank Kermit, Relationships Some people believe that one of the surest ways to guarantee fidelity is to only do open relationships. The premise is that people only cheat in monogamous ...
What is a Relationship?
No replies yet... 10 March 2012: What is a Relationship? Is best defined by what it’s NOT By Frank Kermit, Relationships Over the years, I have been asked a number of times “What is a Relationship?” This is a harder question to answer than most people think. In my experience,...
Engaged! Now what?
No replies yet... 19 February 2012: Pre Marital Disclosure What you don’t know, you must know By Frank Kermit, Relationships Valentines day has come and gone. Some relationships have started. Some relationships have ended, and some relationships have proceeded to the next le...
Making Monogamy Work
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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5 February 2012: Making Monogamy Work By Frank Kermit, Relationships Monogamy is easier than open relationships, because the rules are simpler...but the application of the rules of monogamy is not as easy. Monogamy works for monogamous people...however...
Single Parent Dating, Not Just a Single Issue
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3 February 2012: Single Parent Dating – More Than Just A Single Issue By Frank Kermit At least 40% of marriages end in divorce. Depending on the study you read, the percentage can be higher. Even though the break down of families continues, the drive that ma...
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10 year relationship being ruined by my inability to feel anything during sex
Q. Hi, Please help me - I'm a 30 year old healthy woman in a 10 year relationship that is being ruined by my inability to feel anything during intercourse. I can orgasm fine by clitoral stimulation and I have no issues with sex such as lack of experien...
A. 24 December 2011: Hi So-Very-Confused,
Actually, an asexual person can have an orgasm. I did a radio interview with David Jay who is the founder of the asexuality.org website and we discussed this very topic.
I would suggest that you refer to the site and rea... (read in full...)
10 year relationship being ruined by my inability to feel anything during sex
Q. Hi, Please help me - I'm a 30 year old healthy woman in a 10 year relationship that is being ruined by my inability to feel anything during intercourse. I can orgasm fine by clitoral stimulation and I have no issues with sex such as lack of experien...
A. 24 December 2011: Are you familiar with the term "asexual"? I think you might fin some very useful information and support on a site called http://www.asexuality.org/home/
From your description, it seems to be a place for you to learn more. You are healthy,... (read in full...)
Dating a man a family member used to date?
Q. Am i wrong for falling in love with a guy my aunt use to date while back? we been seeing each other for about 9months but what should i do because i really dont want to go through with it now that our secret is coming out and dont want my family to ...
A. 31 October 2011: I was interviewed on a radio show on this exact topic.
You can listen to it for free here:
http://www.franktalks.com/datingdilemmas/
Scroll down for the show that aired on September 14th, 2011. The topic is Dating the Ex of a Friend of Family... (read in full...)
My bf is angry at me because I took drugs as part of my religious ceremony!!
Q. Okay basically me and my boyfriend have been together about 8 months. its a long distance relationship. he is 20 and i am 16. we are both different religions. in my religion about once a year on a festival they make a special drink which contains ...
A. 3 March 2011: What is the name and order of this religion that requires minors to do drugs?
-Frank... (read in full...)
Her interferring mother has called off the wedding. What advice can I offer, when asked, and not make this fiasco worse?
Q. I was due to attend a wedding next week of two very dear friends. One (him) a relative of mine and she a great friend. It seemed a marriage made in heaven. They both have great jobs. Though she is a tiny bit more qualified than him. That was of...
A. 1 March 2011: I would tell both of them to speak to a therapist.
He has been horribly betrayed. Yet at the same time, if his wife to be has such a submissive nature that she could be turned against him like this, he needs to come to terms with why he would ha... (read in full...)
One night stand with married woman has left me fearful--her husband found out!
Q. a month ago i had a one night stand with a woman i met at a bar. we exchanged info and she wrote me about how it was nice to feel good for a night outside of her bad marriage.. i didn't know she was married. i wrote her i couldnt be involved with a ...
A. 26 February 2011: First, you have nothing to apologize for. If you do write a letter of apology, you will be giving evidence that you knew she was married.
In fact, he should be THANKING YOU, as you ended it with his wife as soon as you found out she was married.... (read in full...)
I found out my girlfriend has a very wild sexual past, and she did webcam shows for others. Will a threesome make me feel better about her past?
Q. Ok where to begin?! I was in a relationship of 8 years and that ended 1 year ago. For the past 5 months, I've been dating and living with a woman who 24 years old. She has 2 children and I love her and them! The problem is she did soooo many sex...
A. 26 February 2011: When you said:
"Makes me sad to think of her that way!"
I think we are at the heart of the issue.
You and your gf have different values when it comes to sex.
You were with your previous gf for 8 yrs and by the sound of it, you were mon... (read in full...)
My girlfriend slept with some guy from her office. I feel I deserve better,should I forgive her?
Q. Hai my girlfriend and i have being dating for 3 years and wants to have sex, well am a virgin i am 23 and want to wait till we get married, am so commited to her, but recently found out she has being sleeping with some guy at her office she said it ...
A. 20 February 2011: The issue is more than just forgiveness.
The bigger issue is that each of you VALUES sex differently.
As long as the two of you have different values, a long term relationship will not work out.
Whether it happened once or many times, look... (read in full...)
Should I consider dating my deceased cousin's husband?
Q. My cousin died of cancer two years ago. She was married with four adult children and a teenager. Recently at a family gathering, her husband expressed interest in dating me. We have no prior history as I have lived across the country and moved back ...
A. 20 February 2011: You are both adults.
Date him in secret to see where things go.
If the two of you merit getting serious to the point of long term commitment, then go public about it.
If you date and it does not work out, then keep it to yourselves.
It ... (read in full...)
Not sure what to think about wife's spanking-fantasy...
Q. My wife wants me to spank her before/during sex. This probably sounds like every guy's dream but there is a bit of a sinister twist that is making me feel a bit uncomfortable. When I asked her where the spanking fantasy had come from, she said t...
A. 19 February 2011: The main thing is not to confuse the original source of a sexual fetish with it's manifestation.
Yes it originated from punishment when she was a child, but that does not indicate sexual feelings towards the punishment or the person punishin... (read in full...)
Three-way relationship advice needed!
Q. 3way relationship advice. I'm in a relationship with a bi sexual girl right now, we've discussed the idea and both have agreed its something we would like. Not just 3 way sex but a real relationship. I have a big heart and a lot to give in ways of ...
A. 16 February 2011: The issue with bringing in an ex into a triad (relationship structure of 3 people) is that the issues that broke the two of you up are likely still there. Now the issue is that what broke the two of you up in the past can, and likely will also cause ... (read in full...)
My husband wants me to be his master but I don't know what to do!
Q. My husband wants me to be his master during sex and domineer him using my imagination for the things I want him to do but my imagination does'nt seen to want to play what can I do? He has wanted this for years and I don't seem to be able to get it ...
A. 8 February 2011: I would suggest you look up this site, and get a copy of this magazine. They will have the information you need, and they are a very reliable and clean source:
http://www.tabmag.com/
It is a magazine that caters to fetish and BDSM and will le... (read in full...)
What is the Push/Pull theory?
Q. Hi everyone. Can anyone tell me what the Push/Pull theory of dating is? Does a man use this when he is trying to sleep with a woman only? Or is it when he is attracted to her and wants to date her? Do single men do it or do married men do it? What ...
A. 3 February 2011: It is a seduction tactic.
First the guy shows interest. (pulls you to him)
Then the guy shows dis-interest (pushes you away).
and repeat.
Happens in short spurts and is designed to give women emotional range and drama.
Guys who use... (read in full...)
I need romantic, fun ideas for Valentine's Day!
Q. Okay, our two year anniversary is Feb 12, so my fiance is going to do something special that day, leaving Valentine's day up to me. I am taking him to a nice dinner but he just told me that he has taken that day off so he can spend all day with me ...
A. 26 January 2011: I rarely endorse other people's works. However, this book by Dr Carol Drury has a bunch of ideas:
http:... (read in full...)
My son is a crack addict, with criminal charges, on probation for the last 7 years. What can I do in this horrible situation?
Q. My 27 years old drug-addict son ,causing me and my family lots of pain. He moved back several times in our home, and we tried to help him over and over again. But it failed every time. He is here again. On house arrest, so he can avoid jail. I...
A. 31 December 2010: There are support groups for the families of addicts.
That is where I think you will find the support and guidance you are seeking.
This will help you deal with your own issues regarding this situation with your son, and your role to separate... (read in full...)
Why do I think loving someone is weak?
Q. I'm really torn within myself. I'm confused. I have the desire to be with a woman, to give myself to her completely. I have cravings for a good, loving partner. But for some reason I hate myself for it. I feel that if somehow I fulfill my desire for ...
A. 24 December 2010: Get into therapy to explore your attachment history. Once you get to the root of the issue, you will be able to fix the issue and be willing to take the chances you need to take to find love.
-Frank... (read in full...)
I'm 19 and have never had a girlfriend.
Q. i'm 19 and have never had a girlfriend. I have never been kissed or hugged (besides family). girls always tell me im a nice guy, but not what they're looking for - im always just a friend. i am pretty average, i recently started working out ...
A. 24 December 2010: When a girl tells you that you are a nice guy, just a friend what she is saying is you address SOME of her emotional needs enough that she likes you as a person, but not the important emotional needs that would make her see you as a lover, or a ... (read in full...)
I may be in love with my stepdaughter...
Q. I married my ex wife with her having a 8 month old daughter.I stayed married to her mother untill she was 13.than me and her mom got a divorce and me and my stepdaughter built a incredible relationship up to that point.(know by incredible I mean ...
A. 24 December 2010: This is completely inappropriate.
You raised this girl from the time she was an infant.
I would not be surprised that if you even tried to get into any sort of romantic relationship with her that you might be charged with sexual misconduc... (read in full...)
Am I a horrible person because I told all of his girlfriends what he does?
Q. I've heard of second chances but never 14th chances.. Me and my "Friend" have been "Friends" for about 2 years roughly 3. We went out for about 6 months till we broke up then he started getting with girls that were frieds of ours. He made me mad ...
A. 24 December 2010: Yes, you are exhibiting the behaviors of a horrible person.
You are act out to hurt others when they have done nothing to you.
You judge people for the way they look, and got violent with at least one person who did not deserve it.
You do no... (read in full...)
I don't love him, but should I stay with him because he is safe?
Q. im 22 i have a 2 year old with a man i dont love, we were together a year when i fell pregnant, I was stupid 19 year old thinkin "it wont happen to me" although i cant say i regret it as i love her so much! But about a month after havin my daughter ...
A. 24 December 2010: First, you need to be sure that your lack of attraction for this man is not being fueled by the change in your body chemistry as a result of having a baby.
Between the hormone changes, the emotional change in status (you are now a mommy), exhausti... (read in full...)
Why do I think loving someone is weak?
Q. I'm really torn within myself. I'm confused. I have the desire to be with a woman, to give myself to her completely. I have cravings for a good, loving partner. But for some reason I hate myself for it. I feel that if somehow I fulfill my desire for ...
A. 24 December 2010: This is a fear of intimacy.
The source of this USUALLY comes from the way you were raised.
We would have to look at your "attachment" history. This means looking at those first relationships where you formed an interpretation as to what love ... (read in full...)
I lied to my boyfriend about getting raped and being pregnant and he wants me to help raise the baby!!!!
Q. Okay, I'm 14. My boyfriend (who's 13) and I are really close, so we tell each other everything. One day, I saw him talking to his friend, who I SWEAR was hitting on him (she was touching him and everything)!! So I (obviously) got upset... I didn't ...
A. 24 December 2010: You need to forget about having a BF and get therapy right now.
Your response to the situation is COMPLETELY inappropriate, and unless you come clean, your BF and anyone else that hears this story and commits resources to you (like money and gift... (read in full...)
My guy is looking at quite a lot of gay porn on line. Why?
Q. I found gay porn on my guys computer..it wasn't just one site, there were several over a couple of days and some had galleries,is it normal for straight guys to look at gay porn? There was other porn but quite a lot of gay porn....
A. 24 December 2010: You asked:
is it normal for straight guys to look at gay porn?
Answer: Nope.
He might be bi or he might be gay but in the closet.
But his actions are not that of a straight guy.
Sorry to be the one to tell you this.
Depending on your ... (read in full...)
I'm no one's soul mate and it hurts that I have no personal life
Q. My mother passed away this year from cancer. She had been sick for 3 years and I had taken care of her. In the process, I hadn't given any consideration to my personal life or any of my own needs. Now that she's gone, I realize that I HAVE no ...
A. 22 December 2010: First, my condolence on the loss of your mother. I also helped care for my father in his last years and it was very draining. Holidays can be the worst.
Part of the pain you are in comes from "the new normal". Basically it is about adjustin... (read in full...)
Why am I obsessed with a woman I don't want?
Q. Why am I insanely obsessed 24-7 with a woman I don't want?...
A. 21 December 2010: Because on some level this woman addresses certain emotional needs of yours that make you respond to her.
Which emotional needs those are, and if they are healthy or emotional dysfunctional depends on you and your situation.
I talk a lot about... (read in full...)
How can I adjust to living with my long lost father and new family?
Q. Okay so, long story short, my mother didn't tell my father that she was pregnant with me before he left. She died when I was six and then a decade later of being moved around from foster home to foster home, my lovely social worker-person who has ...
A. 19 December 2010: Your step brother and half brothers probably do not know their place with you either. That is why they do not know how to act. So many questions to ask, and so much of it of a personal nature. It can make anyone feel intimidated.
First talk to ... (read in full...)
Can someone give sperm donor info?
Q. My fiancee and I have been trying for over a year for a baby, turns out he's unable to have any kids. We were thinking about going to a sperm donor. Does anyone know how this works? How much does it cost? Do they give any papers to take home? Do...
A. 18 December 2010: Before you consider a sperm bank, you might want to consider a few other things.
First, your age. Why the rush to have kids, when the two of you are not even yet married? As a parent that had a child before we were financially ready, I can tell... (read in full...)
How effective is the pull out method?
Q. How effective is the pull out method? We have sex without contreception and we have been using this method for over a year now. And I still have not got pregnant. But how much of a chance could there be that I could get pregnant?...
A. 5 December 2010: There is a word to describe couples the only use the pull out method.
The word is: Parents
... (read in full...)
My 25 year old wife hates sex... why????
Q. My wife and I have been married over a year and it gets worse everyday. I'm 24 and she is 25. For the first year she never liked sex. Now she won't let me touch her, kiss her, hug her, and she is mean. During sex, she rushes me, tells me to ...
A. 26 November 2010: It sounds like she might be a victim of sexual abuse of some kind. If she were, the sex she has with you is a trigger to those past feelings, and she is taking her anger out on you.
Read the book, The sexual healing journey by Dr Wendy Maltz. ... (read in full...)
My baby daddy's family drama!
Q. "Cord" is the biological father of my son and "Michael" is the man who has been helping me raise my son since he was 5 months old. Cord died in June of 2009, he was drunk (on Father's Day) and fell off of a roof and broke his neck in three pl...
A. 18 November 2010: Your first obligation is to the care and protection of your child. That is it.
The drugs and violence that seem to exist in Cord's family suggests that allowing any of them, including meth-using grandma, regular access to your son is dangerou... (read in full...)
We have just found out we are far off cousins, is this wrong?
Q. I am very busy guy having troubles in business and studies.. And once in my life i found the person I could relate and who'd understand my feelings.. We then feel in love.. She was real close to me.. And we've now been together for about 3 yrs.. ...
A. 8 November 2010: Depends on where you live.
The closest relative you can marry is a 1st cousin depending on where you live in the world. For that, you need to check your local laws.
There is a higher risk factor of birth defects when marrying a cousin, but that... (read in full...)
What you guys would do if your girlfriend tried to set you up?
Q. I have been with my partner for 3 years we have a wonderful relationship and only had one bad patch and now its all back on track- he loves me and tells me so and I love him very much too. I recently made friends with a girl and I think she is ...
A. 24 October 2010: What is not clear is:
Are you looking to end your relationship with him and set him up with someone else?
or
Are you looking to have a polyamorous relationship where he will take on another partner and continue to be with you as well?
Whi... (read in full...)
I told him I quit my escort job and now he wants to date me!
Q. We met about a year ago in strip club where I was working. He tipped me good and told me that he want to meet me outside of the club. So I gave him my number. He knew I was escorting so he asked to meet. I really liked him so i went to see him. I e...
A. 23 October 2010: If you told him you quit your job, and you have not actually quit, that means anything you build with him is based on a lie.
You better tell him the truth on date, or you will lose him forever. If he finds out about the lie on his own, he will ... (read in full...)
My wife is in ER and I can't get back to her!
Q. My wife is in the ER as I write this. I am thousands of miles away on business. She is 8 months pregnant and has been complaining of pain in between her shoulder blades, more to the right side. It has radiated to the front of her chest. Right below ...
A. 17 October 2010: Is there no one else that can do the job? Have you called your boss and told your boss about the situation? Has your employer totally abandoned you in this? I have to assume that money is very tight for you to have gone on a business trip when your ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to get over the shame and humiliation
Q. Dear anyone I've been married for nearly 30 years and weve had our ups and downs. It turns out my ex to be hubby has been a secret cross dresser all of our married life. he has hidden it so well that i didn't have a clue until he came out and told...
A. 17 October 2010: Something I forgot to mention..
You have NOTHING to feel shame and humiliation about.
You did NOTHING WRONG.
This event does not define you. How you react to it will define you and you CHOSE your actions.
-Frank... (read in full...)
I don't know how to get over the shame and humiliation
Q. Dear anyone I've been married for nearly 30 years and weve had our ups and downs. It turns out my ex to be hubby has been a secret cross dresser all of our married life. he has hidden it so well that i didn't have a clue until he came out and told...
A. 17 October 2010: I am so sorry this has happened to you.
First thing is see if you can find a support group in your area for friends of LGTBF. There you will meet others we are struggling with similar situations and like you, they will be going through the same... (read in full...)
I Don't Fit the Mold
Q. Because of a chronic illness I have, I have been forced to move in with my parents. I am 26-years-old. I want SO BADLY to be independent, but it is near impossible as I am not able to work enough to be independent. My parents have helped me out ...
A. 2 October 2010: First suggestion is that you find a way to start a business where you do not have to work due to your illness. For example, write a book that you can sell online from home. If you use print-on-demand you can sell 24/7 without having to do 42/7 ... (read in full...)
I thought I would be married and have children by now?
Q. i live in a little village not many single women everybody has someone either wife or girlfriend. i've tryed online dating. i see everybody kissing each other or holding hands. i'm getting frustrated and lonely.with no woman to call my own. not one ...
A. 2 October 2010: I have a few suggestions...
First, talk to your closest friends and ask them for an honest opinion of the way you come across. If no woman in your small town will not even come close to you, could it be because you act in a creepy or anti-soc... (read in full...)
I got caught by my manager kissing a co-worker!
Q. I need help I just got caught by my manager kissing a work mate of mine we been together for just under 3months omg I have no idea what to do! i'm so embarrassed. does anyone know any laws or anything that state we can't do this? I don't know... He ...
A. 12 September 2010: There are no laws against dating a co-worker.
About 30% of couples met through work.
The issues are:
1-issues of power. Does one person have authority over the other? THAT could be trouble
2-did you do it on company time? Were you on b... (read in full...)
I was a good girl and now I'm wondering why I didn't do the bad things that others do!
Q. I was a virgin when I got married. I will admit to heavy petting and finger penetration. But no complete sex penetration. I was saving myself for marriage. I was a good girl. I was married for 26 years when my husband past away suddenly. ...
A. 11 September 2010: I suggest you consider the following...
being a good girl is a good thing IF you are getting the results you wanted. This does not mean you get to control the behaviors of others (ie, being a good girl does not protect you from other peoples ... (read in full...)
Classy photos just for me?
Q. I want to take boudoir style photos of my self, because i think they are really classy. I want them just for me the only problem is that I am only 16 and is it really that wrong to want to take photos just for me? That are very classy photos? ...
A. 29 August 2010: Because of the intent behind such photos (to be sexual stimulating), it would be illegal given that you are still a minor.
If you do the photos yourself, you could be charged with creation and possession of child porn. If you show it to anyone, ... (read in full...)
46 year old man and never had a girlfriend
Q. I am 46 years old and have never had a girlfriend. I have always been too shy to approach a woman for a date. I did have issues with my build in the teenage years. Being tall and thin, I became very shy and awkward in social situations. The jobs ...
A. 25 August 2010: No, it is not too late.
I have worked with Adult Male Virgins who were older than you.
Accord to stats, 2% of the population have never had sex. The research only goes to the age of 50, but I have heard of people losing their virginity to the... (read in full...)
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