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... Send *rank B Kermit a private message | | | *rank B Kermit's profile:Frank Kermit, MA is an Expert Relationship and Dating Coach. He is a Best Selling Author, educator, and regular media correspondent.
He teaches men and women about their emotional needs, how to address each others emotional needs, to be applied to ongoing loving relationships. In 2011, Frank completed an Advanced Certificate in Trauma Counseling and in 2014 completed a certificate in Hypnotherapy.
Frank Kermit has a newsletters that the public can sign up for:
http://www.franktalks.com/newsletter/ (upcoming media spots)
and when you sign up, you get a 400+ page ebook for free (a collection of 100 of Frank's best articles)
Frank answers public questions on dearcupid.org when and IF he has the time. Please understand that Frank makes a professional living through his Date Coaching, and therefore his private paying clients must come first. Frank does not answer private questions received on dearcupid.org unless you want to hire him for some private one on one coaching via skype or over the phone. You can learn more about Frank's Coaching services at www.franktalks.com/
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| Latest articles: Off Limits Dating
No replies yet... 18 September 2013: Is Someone Off Limits for Dating? By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Mastering the art of dating requires a number of skills such as being socially calibrated, effective communication and knowing what you want. One of the areas that comes up for ...
How to Deal with a Toxic Person
No replies yet... 18 September 2013: The Best Way To Deal With Toxic People By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Toxic people are defined in this article as people who lack the capacity to reason, or people have the capacity to reason but just do not want to reason with you. In t...
A Broken Engagement is Better Than A Happy Divorce
No replies yet... 31 August 2013: A Broken Engagement is Better Than A Happy Divorce By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships One of the ironies of couples counseling that I often find myself doing is taking the couple through the pre-marital coaching process when they may already be...
A Frank Comment on Miley Cyrus
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
31 August 2013: A Frank Comment On Miley Cyrus By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships I do not normally comment on the antics of popular culture, as so much of what we see of movies and TV are fiction based romances and relationships. I tried my best to stay fo...
The Wedding Speech
No replies yet... 26 July 2013: The Wedding Speech Remember this day, your wedding day. Not for the dresses and suits, not for the extravagance, nor the dinner and dancing, but remember your wedding day because of the reasons you chose to marry your spouse. Remember who is it that...
Sexually Incompatible Couples
No replies yet... 19 July 2013: Sexually Incompatible Couples Sex is not the most important thing in a relationship. However, couples who love each other dearly and connect on so many levels, but whom are sexually incompatible tend to find that sex can be at the core of a numb...
Separation and Dating, Part 2 of 2
No replies yet... 28 June 2013: Separation and Dating, Part 2 of 2 Separation does not automatically lead to divorce unless you let it. It is up to you and your partner to put in the work so that it does not happen. In the event you are the only one trying to work on yourself and ...
Separation and Dating Part 1 of 2
No replies yet... 22 June 2013: Separation and Dating Part 1 of 2 One of the most damaging actions an individual can take is to start dating someone new when going through a separation with their serious long term partner (spouse, common-law partner or a defacto-union). When I use ...
The Frank Break Up Formula
No replies yet... 14 June 2013: The Frank Break Up Formula By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Breaking up with someone is rarely an enjoyable or pleasant experience. In fact, there are those individuals who stay in less than satisfying relationships, and even can go all the ...
The Frank Romance Formula part 3 of 3
No replies yet... 8 June 2013: The Frank Romance Formula Part 3 By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Continued from last article: The Frank Romance Formula is: A. (Stimulation of the 5 senses) + B. (Addressing the emotional needs of that person) + C. (Sensual/Sexual Contex...
The Frank Romance Formula Part 2 of 3
No replies yet... 3 June 2013: The Frank Romance Formula Part 2 By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Continued from last article: The Frank Romance Formula is: A. (Stimulation of the 5 senses) + B. (Addressing the emotional needs of that person) + C. (Sensual/Sexual Contex...
The Secret Of Seduction is that it Happens in the Future
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
3 May 2013: The Secret Of Seduction is that it Happens in the Future By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships The future is where actual seduction takes place. That is the key to seduction. It has very little to do with turning someone on when you see them. I...
The S.L.A.P. Theory Of Life Lessons
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
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27 April 2013: The S.L.A.P. Theory Of Life Lessons By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Sometimes life will slap you down when it has a lesson to teach you. For some people, the slap may be a light swat, and for others the slap has to be a severe smack down. ...
Dating With Disabilities
No replies yet... 5 April 2013: Dating With Disabilities by Frank Kermit ND, Relationships I once went on a date with a woman that had severe food allergies. We went out to a movie and I wished she had told me ahead of time. Although she mentioned that she was deathly all...
Rejection: The Worst Best Thing That Can Ever Happen
No replies yet... 21 March 2013: Rejection: The Worst Best Thing That Can Ever Happen By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Rejection is the worst best thing that can ever happen to you. Managing rejection is a necessary part in managing your love life. Over the course of your ...
Things they do not tell you about having kids
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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15 March 2013: Things They Do Not Tell You About Having Kids By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships I always try to be very practical and realistic in my articles. This can come across very negative, given that my topic is Relationships (and all things relative...
When Friendship Is Meaningless
No replies yet... 8 March 2013: Friendship Is Meaningless Stop Hanging Out With Friends Who Sexually Reject You By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Friendship is meaningless. There I said it. Now before you shoot one of your nasty emails to the editor, actually read this colum...
Who Cares What People Think? Depends...
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
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1 March 2013: How Much Should You Care About What Other People Think? By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships T here will be times when we want to do something in our lives that is meaningful to us. It could be a decision related to abandoning education, wh...
Learn How to Choose the Right Fights!
No replies yet... 21 February 2013: Pick And Choose Your Fights By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Fighting in relationships is normal. The issue is not whether you fight. The issue is HOW a couple fights. Do they talk out their disagreements? Do they wait until they are alon...
Starting Over After V-day?
No replies yet... 14 February 2013: Starting Over? By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Valentine’s day can be a day of reckoning for some people. Meaning, the events leading up to, on the day of, and afterwards can really wreck your life. This is one of the reasons I often refer to...
A Relationship is: Acceptance at the Worst, Loving at the Best
No replies yet... 6 February 2013: A Relationship is: Acceptance at the Worst, Loving at the Best By Frank Kermit, Relationships At my weekly relationship workshop last Saturday I issued one of my famous “Frankisms” that seemed to really resonate with the attendees. I was trying...
Asking Hard Questions
No replies yet... 1 February 2013: Asking Hard Questions By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships When trying to decide if you should be committed to someone, moving in with someone, getting engaged, and getting married, each new transition brings about the unpleasant task of askin...
Ex Lovers and Weddings Do Not Mix
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24 January 2013: Ex Lovers and Weddings Do Not Mix By Frank Kermit, Relationships If you ever had sex with someone that is about to get married, and have been invited to the wedding, do not go. This is especially true if the spouse-to-be feels uncomfortable havi...
Couples in Transition: Monogamy and Non-monogamy
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16 January 2013: Couples in Transition: Monogamy and Non-monogamy By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships Couples who are experiencing a transition in the status of their relationship may sometimes look to explore new ways of redefining their sex lives b...
Common Sense For Common Scents By Frank Kermit, Relationships
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
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13 December 2012: Common Sense For Common Scents By Frank Kermit, Relationships As the holiday season approaches, invitations begin to swarm in for get-togethers from family, friends and even office parties. It is a time of people coming together, and in some ca...
Couples in Transition
No replies yet... 29 November 2012: Couples in Transition By Frank Kermit, Relationships When a couple is going through a change in the status of their relationship they are a couple in transition. This includes couples that are transitioning from monogamy to non-monogamy, from no...
Your Home Is Your Seduction
No replies yet... 15 November 2012: Your Home Is Your Seduction By Frank Kermit, Relationships Your date is coming over to your place! You have seen each other a couple of times already, but this is different. This is YOUR PLACE, not some coffee shop or movie theatre or restaur...
The Movie Of Your Life’s Journey
No replies yet... 6 November 2012: The Movie Of Your Life’s Journey By Frank Kermit, Relationships The movie of your life is how we each envision our lives unfolding throughout our life span. This concept goes beyond simple fantasizing of what your life would be like. Writing ...
What Love Masks by Frank Kermit
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
2 November 2012: What Love Masks By Frank Kermit, Relationships A mentor of mine taught me that love is not blind; it is just that categories are rigid. When you meet someone, you put that person in a category (lover, friend, temptation, fling, does-no...
The Chocolate Made It Too Much Work: An Article About EFT and Weight Loss
No replies yet... 2 November 2012: The Chocolate Made It Too Much Work An Article About EFT and Weight Loss I have a confession. I used to daydream about food. You know that point in the day when someone catches you; your head in your hands, that dreamy look on your face? If so...
Have You Tried NOT Dating Your Type?
No replies yet... 1 November 2012: Have You Tried NOT Dating Your Type? By Frank Kermit, Relationships We all have our “type”. By “type” I am referring to that type of person each of us is madly attracted too. Each of us has our preference of what we like, what turns us on, ...
Is there such a thing as Happily Single?
No replies yet... 19 October 2012: Is there such a thing as Happily Single? By Frank Kermit, Relationships Is being single really that bad? After all, when a person considers the amount of pain that a relationship or casual dating can cause, it may seem that just skipping the w...
Be Thankful For a Broken Heart
No replies yet... 11 October 2012: Be Thankful For A Broken Heart By Frank Kermit, Relationships Ok, I hate this. I really hate this part of the process. However, it is a necessary part of the process, and if I am expected to help encourage others to do it, first I have to demo...
Stop Talking About Your Ex On Dates!
No replies yet... 5 October 2012: Stop Talking So Much About Your Ex By Frank Kermit, Relationships So you are on a date with someone new. You are excited. You are nervous. You hope that this is finally going to be the one. You meet. So far, you both like what you see. This...
Dating in Social Circles
No replies yet... 29 September 2012: Dating In Social Circles By Frank Kermit, Relationships Dating can be tricky. Does the other person like you the way you think he or she might? Do you really like that person enough to get more serious, or do you want to keep it more casual a...
Frank Guide to Speed Dating
No replies yet... 21 September 2012: Frank Guide To Speed Dating By Frank Kermit, Relationships Every way to meet someone new is a good way. Though friends, through the Internet, blind dates, approaching someone you want to meet, at a workshop, matchmaking companies, business conv...
Relationship Goal Setting
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
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15 September 2012: Relationship Goal Setting By Frank Kermit, Relationships Setting goals in most areas of your life can be challenging. When it comes to relationships, there are even more challenges. Whereas in other areas of your life such as education, emplo...
Battling The Savior Complex in Relationships
No replies yet... 6 September 2012: Battling The Savior Complex By Frank Kermit, Relationships As children, many of us grew up on stories about the hero that saves a person, and in the process, earned the undying love and loyalty of the person saved so that the hero and that saved ...
Get Out Of Your Own Way!
No replies yet... 30 August 2012: Get Out Of Your Own Way By Frank Kermit, Relationships One of the biggest obstacles that a person can have as an obstruction on their path of finding happiness, peace and healing for their love life, is themselves. Although most people wou...
Your Choices Today Become The Past You Have To Share Tomorrow
No replies yet... 26 August 2012: Your Choices Today Become The Past You Have To Share Tomorrow By Frank Kermit, Relationships Young adults tend to discount how the choices they make today will impact their futures tomorrow. At least, when it comes to relationships. The bes...
Are You A Partner Or A Liability?
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
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17 August 2012: Are You A Partner Or A Liability? When it really is you and not them By Frank Kermit, Relationships “It’s not you, it’s me.” Have you ever heard that said to you when someone broke up with you? Have you ever been the one to use it when dump...
The 7 Weird Words That Help Define Relationships
No replies yet... 9 August 2012: The 7 Weird Words That Help Define Relationships By Frank Kermit, Relationships There are 7 certain words that catch many people off guard when it comes to relationships. They are: Lust, Love, Sex, Dating, Commitment, Marriage, and Monogamy. ...
Fear of Conflict Is Rooted in The Fear Of Loss.
No replies yet... 20 July 2012: Fear of Conflict Is Rooted in The Fear Of Loss By Frank Kermit, Relationships Are you too nice when it comes to relationships? Do you walk on eggshells because you do not want to upset your partner? Are you reluctant to enforce your bounda...
Re-Establishing Trust in a Relationship Article
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 July 2012: Broken Trust Takes More Than Time To Re-Establish By Frank Kermit, Relationships Trust is one of the most important components of a relationship. Love is a great start, but it takes more than loving someone, or being loved by someone, to make ...
Understanding Emotional Needs
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
4 July 2012: Understanding Emotional Needs: What We Respond To Versus What We Should Like By Frank Kermit, Relationships Emotional needs are about what a person responds to. It has nothing to do with what a person should like. We all should be attracte...
Red Flags: What To Watch Out For On A Date
No replies yet... 29 June 2012: Red Flags: What To Watch Out For On A Date By Frank Kermit, Relationships When you are on a date, and the person you are getting to know says or does something that triggers a well-honed instinct that you need to stop dating that person, you hav...
The Art of Storytelling on a Date
No replies yet... 25 June 2012: Art of Storytelling: Make or Break A Relationship Happy Ending By Frank Kermit, Relationships One of the challenges that people face when they go on dates is that they may not factor in that others will not understand what they are trying ...
Swinger Beginner Advice
No replies yet... 25 June 2012: Swinger Beginners: Keep it Out of the Work Place By Frank Kermit, Relationships Dear Frank, My husband and I recently returned from a business trip/vacation where a few of my husband's co-workers also brought their wives. We really hit it o...
When your Ex becomes a symbol and you can't get over it
No replies yet... 13 June 2012: When Your Ex Becomes A Symbol Relationship Symbolism of Why You Are Still Hooked By Frank Kermit, Relationships We are surrounded by the power of symbols. A symbol is more than just a design we recognize; symbols are a means of making meaning. ...
Ally Vs Enemy: Understanding The Emotional Needs of Men
No replies yet... 9 June 2012: Is She His Ally or His Enemy? Understanding The Emotional Needs of Men By Frank Kermit, Relationships The best way I know how to teach people about the emotional needs of men is to break it down to absolute fundamentals. If people can und...
Dating After A Break Up - Just How Long Should You Wait?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 June 2012: Dating After Breaking Up? The Sooner The Better By Frank Kermit, Relationships “How much time should I wait before I start dating again?” is a common question that I get asked from someone that has just recently gotten dumped, and still sufferi...
Relationship Redemption: How To Forgive Yourself and Get Closure
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 May 2012: Relationship Redemption How To Forgive Yourself and Get Closure By Frank Kermit, Relationships We all make mistakes in life. If you have ever tried to get into a relationship, are in a relationship, or are recovering from a relationship, ...
Finding The Meaning Of Your Life And Relationships
No replies yet... 15 May 2012: The Meaning of your Relationships Starts With The Meaning Of Your Life By Frank Kermit, Relationships Contemplate your death. No seriously. In order to make meanings of your relationships past, present and those you will have in the futur...
The Mother-Lover Theory Understanding The Emotional Needs of Women
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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10 May 2012: The Mother-Lover Theory Understanding The Emotional Needs of Women By Frank Kermit, Relationships A woman can only play one of two roles in a man’s life. She is either his mother or his lover. She cannot be both. When a man addresses a wom...
Moving To The Next Level: Understanding The Hierarchy of Relationships
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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1 May 2012: Moving To The Next Level Understanding The Hierarchy of Relationships By Frank Kermit, Relationships One of the biggest mistakes people make in relationships is to promote someone up the hierarchy of commitment that has not really earned it. I...
Beware Your Friends when it comes to love
No replies yet... 15 April 2012: Beware Your Friends They May Not Want You To Be Loved By Frank Kermit, Relationships Mistakes Singles Make # 6… Seeking the approval of friends that influences your love life choices. Love may come and go, but a friendship can last a lifetim...
Are Relationships Worth The Risk?
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8 April 2012: Relationships = Risk But is it really worth it? By Frank Kermit, Relationships Given that there is so much risk in getting involved in relationships, or having sex for that matter, is it at all worth it to even bother? After all, a broken hear...
Tattoos and Relationships
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
24 March 2012: Beware The L-I-N-K Of (L)ove and (INK) By Frank Kermit, Relationships While at a coffee shop a few weeks ago, I met a tattoo artist. He had his son’s name tattooed on his hand, and being the ever-inquisitive one, I asked him about his profession...
Open Relationships and Infidelity
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
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17 March 2012: Open Relationships Do Not Always Stave Off Infidelity By Frank Kermit, Relationships Some people believe that one of the surest ways to guarantee fidelity is to only do open relationships. The premise is that people only cheat in monogamous ...
What is a Relationship?
No replies yet... 10 March 2012: What is a Relationship? Is best defined by what it’s NOT By Frank Kermit, Relationships Over the years, I have been asked a number of times “What is a Relationship?” This is a harder question to answer than most people think. In my experience,...
Engaged! Now what?
No replies yet... 19 February 2012: Pre Marital Disclosure What you don’t know, you must know By Frank Kermit, Relationships Valentines day has come and gone. Some relationships have started. Some relationships have ended, and some relationships have proceeded to the next le...
Making Monogamy Work
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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5 February 2012: Making Monogamy Work By Frank Kermit, Relationships Monogamy is easier than open relationships, because the rules are simpler...but the application of the rules of monogamy is not as easy. Monogamy works for monogamous people...however...
Single Parent Dating, Not Just a Single Issue
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
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3 February 2012: Single Parent Dating – More Than Just A Single Issue By Frank Kermit At least 40% of marriages end in divorce. Depending on the study you read, the percentage can be higher. Even though the break down of families continues, the drive that ma...
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How to find the courage to break up after nine years together?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for nine years. We have a nice house together, lots of shared friends, we get on well and life is generally ok. He's sweet, generous and affectionate. Everyone likes him. So do I. We got together after lots of short-lived ...
A. 17 August 2012: Well, if you have zero intention of wanting to be in a relationship, you are just using someone you like because you refuse to deal with the unpleasant feelings that come with making grown up decisions.
In this way, perhaps you need to consider... (read in full...)
Large age-gap relationships: your experiences and thoughts?
Q. Dear all, this is not so much a question per se, would just love to hear some of your experiences. In my case, we have a 19 year gap, we're compatible in interests, worldview, living styles (both quiet, stay at home types), but I've also considered ...
A. 17 August 2012: http://www.franktalks.com/senior-dating-and-age-gap-relationship-issues/
I did a few media interviews on the topic of Age Gap Relationships. Go to the link above, and scroll down the page to find them all.
I think the stories shared in the ra... (read in full...)
Re-Establishing Trust in a Relationship Article
Q. Broken Trust Takes More Than Time To Re-Establish By Frank Kermit, Relationships Trust is one of the most important components of a relationship. Love is a great start, but it takes more than loving someone, or being loved by someone, to make ...
A. 10 August 2012: Hi Anon,
I do have material on the emotional needs of men and suggestions for women about addressing those emotional needs through conversation and behaviors.
You can find previews of those programs, including news articles I have written and... (read in full...)
Understanding Emotional Needs
Q. Understanding Emotional Needs: What We Respond To Versus What We Should Like By Frank Kermit, Relationships Emotional needs are about what a person responds to. It has nothing to do with what a person should like. We all should be attracte...
A. 5 July 2012: http://www.franktalks.com/family-friends-vs-partners/
Hi Shelly,
The above link has some articles I wrote about family vs partners.
As you have learned, you do NOT ever involve family into your intimacy challenges.
-Frank... (read in full...)
Nearing 25. Zero experience. Completely lost. Need all the advice I can get. Long rant.
Q. Okay, this is going to get a bit long but I have a lot to say and a whole lot more on my mind - been accumulating it for years now afterall ^^”… I would really appreciate anyone who reads this and offers up any similar experiences, advice, or any ...
A. 13 June 2012: Hi There,
First, you might want to check out this article I posted on Dear Cupid:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/are-relationships-worth-the-risk.html
I see a lot of adult male virgins in my practice who struggle with the same things you... (read in full...)
The Mother-Lover Theory Understanding The Emotional Needs of Women
Q. The Mother-Lover Theory Understanding The Emotional Needs of Women By Frank Kermit, Relationships A woman can only play one of two roles in a man’s life. She is either his mother or his lover. She cannot be both. When a man addresses a wom...
A. 5 June 2012: Thanks for the comments everyone!
You all can learn more about my works on the emotional needs of women and men at this link:
http://www.franktalks.com/emotionalneeds
Check out the free media interviews I have done to learn more about my l... (read in full...)
Relationship Redemption: How To Forgive Yourself and Get Closure
Q. Relationship Redemption How To Forgive Yourself and Get Closure By Frank Kermit, Relationships We all make mistakes in life. If you have ever tried to get into a relationship, are in a relationship, or are recovering from a relationship, ...
A. 4 June 2012: Hi ShellyCG,
Thanks! To read a collection of my articles, you can find them at:
http://www.franktalks.com/westendtimes
-Frank... (read in full...)
Dating After A Break Up - Just How Long Should You Wait?
Q. Dating After Breaking Up? The Sooner The Better By Frank Kermit, Relationships “How much time should I wait before I start dating again?” is a common question that I get asked from someone that has just recently gotten dumped, and still sufferi...
A. 4 June 2012: http://www.franktalks.com/break-ups/
Hi ShellyCG,
Thanks for the wonderful review.
Above is a link that has other articles and radio appearances I made talking about the same subject that you may find helpful...all for free.
-Frank... (read in full...)
I want to earn money and get experience but can't find anything
Q. so i feel a little deflated because i am unable to study in the usa in the fall. i still plan on studying in the usa but i just can't afford it at the moment. i have no job and no money i don't feel depressed just down a little. i want to do somet...
A. 10 May 2012: Volunteer.
Volunteer in places that need Graphic Design. Find local non-profit groups where you could volunteer for a limited number of projects for you to get experience and to start networking.
Also, depending on how you feel about it, you ca... (read in full...)
How to move on when you've been played by a player?
Q. Ironically I've always tried to avoid these type of losers but I ended up falling for one who made his work rather well in making me fall in love with him. He has now discarded me for another one and he has even told in my face he never liked me but ...
A. 19 April 2012: Learn from your mistakes. That is it.
To get closure on your past, you need to reach a point where you can forgive yourself. You forgive yourself by reaching a point where you can trust yourself not to make the same mistakes again. You learn no... (read in full...)
Should we swing with our friends?
Q. A few months ago I asked for advice about me and my wife having a 3some with my best friend.The opinion was that it was a no no,so me and my wife shelved it and decided that if we do try it we will book a hotel and a pro male escort to 'test the ...
A. 19 April 2012: This page on my website has interviews with Swingers that you can download for free, and some radio interviews on open relationships, and news articles I have written.
http://www.franktalks.com/open-relationship/
This one is on Friends with Ben... (read in full...)
27 and never been in a relationship, how do I put my looks and shyness aside to meet a girl?
Q. Hi, I'm just looking for dating advice for a very shy, confident-less person really, but I'll give you some back story. I'm 27 year old male living in a small UK town and i've never had a proper relationship, this is not from me being a 'playa',...
A. 17 April 2012: I have worked with a number of adult aged virgins. Wrote a book about it, and did a seminar.
A lack of confidence may be only a symptom of the deeper issues. Depending on what is holding you back, you need to look at the overall source. A desire... (read in full...)
Do I tell my boyfriend that being drunk led to fooling around?
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been with my boyfriend for 2 plus years. He's so great we have the best times. We obviously fight and have our ups and downs but we always get thru them. I'm 24 he's 36. I'm a flight attendant and I don't usually go out and party...
A. 15 April 2012: Ask yourself two questions...
If the situation were reversed, would you want to know?
and
Knowing what you know about your bf, do you think he would want to know?
In my opinion, yes you need to tell him. He needs to make an informed dec... (read in full...)
Friends with benefits, what do you think?
Q. Me and a friend of mine have been speaking for a little while and we got onto the question of how fun it would be to have a friends with benefits and before we knew it we were discussing actually going through with it, but i have never done ...
A. 7 April 2012: There are a number of consequences to having a friends with benefits. Yes, it can be fun, but that fun comes with a very high price (the LEAST of which is the end of the friendship if you are not aware of how to manage that kind of intimacy ... (read in full...)
He's 29 and has NEVER had a girlfriend.. Red Flag??
Q. I'm really unsure about this guy i'm dating. We've been talking for 1 month, only met once (he isn't local to me) but he seems good for me - personality wise and there's an attraction there. The attraction isn't fireworks in my tummy attraction ...
A. 7 April 2012: It is much more common than people think.
Women tend to be on the receiving end of sexual attention, while men are on the projecting end. It is easier for a woman to date more than men, because as long as she is willing to date among the men that... (read in full...)
I'm his FWB is there a chance he'll leave his girlfriend for me?
Q. okay, i don't need to be judged, but 3 months ago i sent a fb request to this guy i had seen round, (drummer in a band.) well he accepted (despite the fact he only had 100 friends on his fb account, so he obviously doesn't just add randoms. anyway i ...
A. 27 March 2012: It is very unlikely that he would end it with his gf.
He has exactly want he wants. His gf AND you.
Have you considered what kind of bf he would be to you, given the nature of your dynamic with him?
Friends with Benefits is a time limit... (read in full...)
Should I tell my fiance I had sex with someone while we were broken up?
Q. Recently I found out my fiancé had been having an interstate affair and was broken hearted. I broke up with her multiple times in a week but each time I was drawn back. Eventually I left for a few days and in that time I had sex with another woman. ...
A. 27 March 2012: Yes, if you intend to marry this woman, you tell the truth.
If you are afraid that this truth will break you up, a broken engagement is better than a happy divorce.
I am more concerned with the fact that she was having an affair (whether it ... (read in full...)
My sex buddy and me kissed other people and then had sex with each other.
Q. I have a sex buddy , were a little bit more cause he holds me threw the night when I have to leave he pulls me by the waist in bed just to fall asleep next to him, we hold hands and watch movies we are so close and are always there for each other. ...
A. 25 March 2012: First, if you are going to be sex buddies with someone, you have to understand that it comes with certain rules and consequences.
Neither of you has the right to act out on jealousy, because you are not committed to each other. You are just sex budd... (read in full...)
G/f doesn't want sex because she's having issues with herself
Q. My girlfriend and had great sex for the first six months now she doesn't ever want to. She says she's having issues with herself. I don't know if I can believe her or not. Yes I'm a woman also. What do i do? ...
A. 25 March 2012: Hi There,
Can you please elaborate on what she means with issues with herself?
If she is struggling with her sexual orientation, that is one thing.
If she is struggling with her sexuality because for example, something from her past, that is anot... (read in full...)
He was abusive and I need to move on. Tips please on how to move on and forget him?
Q. ModNote: no mention of charges laid against the OP so I am not calling this a crime. Instead I belive the Op was the victim from reading this account. I met this man in 1987... We have been in and out of love, or what I thought was love now I'm...
A. 21 February 2012: First, I am going to suggest that you seek out a therapist, as the abuse you have suffered is long term and from the sounds of it traumatic. The fact that you carry his voice inside you of that horrible moment and struggle to move past it is a sign ... (read in full...)
I want to get over my abusive LDR ex. But I need some ideas please on how to do this?
Q. I'm really sad and depressed. I was with this guy in a long distance thing for almost 2 years. It was never really perfect or ideal but I cared about this person a lot. We would fight. He would call me names but i in the back of my head I would t...
A. 21 February 2012: The formula for closure on past relationships:
1-Figure out what you did wrong (chosing the wrong person, etc...)
2-Learn from your mistakes (this is about giving meaning to the end of the relationship)
3-Reach a point where you can TRUS... (read in full...)
Our relationship is already trouble, how do I now tell him I had a miscarriage?
Q. I just had a misscarrage and me and my boyfriend have just been through a rough patch and the things are still a bit awkward how do I tell him?...
A. 21 February 2012: You tell him in private, in an honest, calm and direct manner.
If your relationship can not handle the truth and the rough patches of life, it is better to know sooner than later and let things end if that is the case.
Part of a relationship i... (read in full...)
I'm engaged, but I no longer feel like I love him.
Q. Help! i'm engaged but i no longer feel like i love him. he was my boyfriend and my best friend. even after he moved away for school, we made it work. he visited me each time he could and those were moments i truly treasured. after i graduated high ...
A. 19 February 2012: I just posted an article for couples that got engaged and are struggling.
http://www.myvirtualpaper.com/doc/West-end-Times/17.24westendtimes/2012021702/#32
I have to ask...is it that you do not love him anymore, or have you just past the "h... (read in full...)
Why am I still sleeping with this married woman despite knowing that out "relationship" is headed nowhere?
Q. I can't believe that it is still going on after four years! I posted a question regarding this affair a while back when I thought this whole ordeal was finally coming to an end, but it isn't. We stared flirting, going to lunch. etc., back in th...
A. 19 February 2012: You asked: "I am wasting my life away by not finding a single available woman"
In my experience, it signals that you have a fear of intimacy and dating married people makes you feel safer than to actually risk getting involved with someone emot... (read in full...)
Split with my partner of 12 years, its been only 2 days yet I'm lost! How do you ladies do it??
Q. So..... I just split up with my partner of nearly 12 years! We have 5 kids together and I am finding myself quite lost already and ut's only been 2 days :( So how do you ladies do it????? Any ideas or tips for me would be so so appreciated, I u...
A. 19 February 2012: First make sure that your kids routine remains as stable and focus on them.
They also have to get used to the "new normal", and by focusing on them initially, it will give you some direction. This includes staying on top of your kids and thei... (read in full...)
I can't take the rest of my life to get over a relationship that only lasted 6 months!
Q. The guy that I was in love with and I broke up for good nearly a year ago. We had a good relationship for about 6 months, and a really shitty, alcohol-fuelled, rocky, dramatic, on-again-off-again, booty-call relationship for about 6 months after ...
A. 19 February 2012: You may be reacting because on some level your ex became a symbol for something that you have unresolved.
Nothing about how special he was, it has to do with your interpretation of the meaning of your relationship.
I have done a number of medi... (read in full...)
Making Monogamy Work
Q. Making Monogamy Work By Frank Kermit, Relationships Monogamy is easier than open relationships, because the rules are simpler...but the application of the rules of monogamy is not as easy. Monogamy works for monogamous people...however...
A. 6 February 2012: Hi Odds,
Thanks for commenting. You do bring up a very important point, and I do cover that topic more in depth in my CD series that this article is based on.
You can listen to the previews of the CD series and other media interviews I hav... (read in full...)
Are all FWB relationships conducted, in this way?
Q. Hi everyone this question is for people who are in a fwb arrangement. how well do they treat you. I am in one. have been for 11 months now. he never comes round apart from the obvious when he is horny. he is not speaking to me at the moment because ...
A. 30 January 2012: For it to be "Friends With Benefits", you first have to be "FRIENDS".
He is not acting like a friend at all.
I wrote an article on what a Friends With Benefits relationship is, how it works and what the rules are.
You can find it here ... (read in full...)
Is this relationship worth salvaging or should I just walk away?
Q. I met my girlfriend 3 years ago in college and we started living together within six months of dating. I believe we moved way too fast with this relationship and thus we didn’t get to really know each other. The result of our moving too fast ...
A. 30 January 2012: Walk away.
Here is a link to some free information on my website about Break Ups. You might some ideas about how to handle this with her.
http://www.franktalks.com/break-ups
Too fast or not, if it didn't work out now, it is likely not go... (read in full...)
I'm a student tutoring younger students and I have a crush on one of them them!
Q. Hey everyone, a new one from me... I'm in my third semester at University and I'm leading a Tutorium (kind of an extra class) for a lecture. Obviously, I'm a student and it's about students of older semesters helping the ones who just started....
A. 2 January 2012: The best way to approach him is to talk about your common interests, and find out if there is an event related to that interest. Then let him know that you plan on attending that event and ask him if he would like to come along.
This removes ... (read in full...)
I'm a student tutoring younger students and I have a crush on one of them them!
Q. Hey everyone, a new one from me... I'm in my third semester at University and I'm leading a Tutorium (kind of an extra class) for a lecture. Obviously, I'm a student and it's about students of older semesters helping the ones who just started....
A. 1 January 2012: How long will he be a student of yours, and are there any regulations that the university has about teachers (including tutors) getting involved with the students?
If the university has employed you for this position, you may have to wait until he... (read in full...)
I want to be with my boyfriend for NYE, is that wrong?
Q. It's New Year's Eve and I am bumming out at home. Ideally, I would want to go out with my friends, but it's a little difficult considering we are all under the age of 21 and there is basically nothing much to do in NYC if you're not 21 on this nig...
A. 1 January 2012: My advice is for you to develop the self esteem to choose a boyfriend that would gladly give up drinking with his friends in order to spend NYE with you.
What is the point of having this bf if he is treating you like a FWB?
-Frank... (read in full...)
I love her she only wants friends. What to do?
Q. So I meet this lady online in late Oct. 2011,we meet for diner I texted a few times after but no instrest. So i emailed her and said guess there was no chemistry nice to meet you good luck. She emailed back we can be friends with her number again. I ...
A. 1 January 2012: First, if you are just friends, do not be hanging out with her so much. You are too available.
If you want to demonstrate that you are an attractive male, then you need to date other women. When she sees that other women are romantically interest... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my older sister's best friend
Q. I have a bad problem the girl i love is my older sisters best friend she is engaged and has two kids we text everyday but she doesnt no how i feel. About a month ago she told me that her and her partner wer arguing constently she says she gets quite ...
A. 1 January 2012: Have you considered the fact that if the two of you were to ever get into a relationship, she would like be texting another man everyday who actually likes her AND will tell him about the other guys she really likes (that does not include you, her ... (read in full...)
I don't just want to date my b/f I want to marry him and we keep fighting about it!
Q. Hi, I'm in a pickle! I'm 27 and my boyfriend is 33. He is Egyptian Muslim and I am British Muslim revert (but I don't wear hijab or anything). We've been together for 2.5 years. The last year has been horrific!! His mum and sisters apparent...
A. 1 January 2012: The fear of someone breaking up with you is not a good nor a reasonable motivation to push for marriage. It is the opposite. Rushing into marriage just because you are worried he is going to break up with you is the worst thing you can do to start ... (read in full...)
What do people think of an 18 year old guy dating a 16 year old?
Q. ok i have been talking to a girl who is 16 and i'm 18 we have basically got straight on and i feel like i have known her for years and we both have basically shown we like each others personallity and like each other. id like to ask her out and ...
A. 1 January 2012: Check with the law in your area. That, more than anything will help you understand what you can and can not do.
If she is of legal age to date in your area, that still does not mean she is of legal age to consent to all things.
For example, ... (read in full...)
Should I ask my ex, who is the father of my children, to not date my friends?
Q. My ex of 15years, father to my 2 kids is going to a new years eve party tonight where lots of my friends will be. Is it unreasonable of me to ask him not to get it together with one of my mates, there is one girl in particular, he doesnt really know ...
A. 31 December 2011: If he is your ex, and you do not want to get back together with him, who he dates is really not your business.
The same way that if you were to date someone that he does not want you to date. He is your ex, and thus he has zero say who you conn... (read in full...)
I am bi-sexual, but worried my family won't accept me for who I am
Q. Okay my question is what should I do about this? I am bisexual and I have told my good/ close friends and they accept me for who i am. I want to come out to my parents but my dad sometimes makes gay jokes he doesn't do it anymore so that's good. ...
A. 31 December 2011: Hi There,
Re: the feelings of cutting, talk to a guidance counselor at your school. They should be trained to handle this sort of discussion. They are professionals that have to follow rules of confidentiality.
As for coming out...the rule i... (read in full...)
10 year relationship being ruined by my inability to feel anything during sex
Q. Hi, Please help me - I'm a 30 year old healthy woman in a 10 year relationship that is being ruined by my inability to feel anything during intercourse. I can orgasm fine by clitoral stimulation and I have no issues with sex such as lack of experien...
A. 24 December 2011: Hi So-Very-Confused,
Actually, an asexual person can have an orgasm. I did a radio interview with David Jay who is the founder of the asexuality.org website and we discussed this very topic.
I would suggest that you refer to the site and rea... (read in full...)
I've decided to break up with my Bf. Should I wait until a week or so into the new year and just have a peaceful x-mas?
Q. I have decided to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years because I no longer feel right in the relationship. I made this decision finally yesterday after lots of thought over the past few weeks, so it's not a spur of the moment thing and I am not ...
A. 24 December 2011: http://www.myvirtualpaper.com/doc/West-end-Times/17.15westendtimes/2011120901/#8
This is an article I wrote about couples who break up over the holidays called HeartBreak for the Holidays.
There is never a good time to break up. That is why... (read in full...)
10 year relationship being ruined by my inability to feel anything during sex
Q. Hi, Please help me - I'm a 30 year old healthy woman in a 10 year relationship that is being ruined by my inability to feel anything during intercourse. I can orgasm fine by clitoral stimulation and I have no issues with sex such as lack of experien...
A. 24 December 2011: Are you familiar with the term "asexual"? I think you might fin some very useful information and support on a site called http://www.asexuality.org/home/
From your description, it seems to be a place for you to learn more. You are healthy,... (read in full...)
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