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... Send *iamine a private message | | | *iamine's profile:* I'm brutally honest, sometimes to the point of offence, I never hide under the secrecy of anonymous. I'm pro-porn and many people don't like this. I'm also non judgemental of different relationships and lifestyles. I'm pro-men and pro-women, I believe strongly in equality and happiness for both sexes, that's my definition of Feminism. And I'm an atheist, there aint no God in my world.
Mental Health Help (Depression, anxiety, bi-polar) Advice and support and mood charting: - http://www.patientslikeme.com
Helplines for UK visitors.
*The Samaritans.... http://www.samaritans.org/ UK: 08457 90 90 90 ROI: 1850 60 90 90
*Rape Crisis Centres... http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/index.php Tel:0808 802 9999
*Childline... http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx Tel: 0800 1111 (free to call and totally confidential)
*NHS... http://www.nhs.uk/Pages/HomePage.aspx
Type in your postcode to find the location of your nearest family planning clinic. Contraception is available free, and emergency contraception (taken within 72 hours, but sooner is better, 24 hours is best) can help prevent pregnancy if you have unprotected sex.
NHS Direct Telephone Hotline - 111
http://www.nhs.uk
http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/
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Boyfriend has history of violence. Am I worrying too much?
Q. Long story short, I found out over the last couple of days that my boyfriend has a really bad temper. I haven't been dating him for long and i've known hes had a bad temper for a while but i'm now gett...
A. 5 April 2012: Because of the past violence (his and others) and his mental makeup, he will always have to continue to watch his emotions, actions and feelings. This is not something that will ever be passed or conquered, he will have to be aware of his temper ... (read in full...)
What keeps people in marriages when they are no longer in love?
Q. When you have been married to your husband for 35 years and are no longer IN LOVE with him but Love him as a person, is it possible to continue to stay married? What is it that actually makes a person stay in a marriage where you are NOT IN LOVE ...
A. 22 February 2012: "I would get up in the morning and have coffee and chat with her on her porch it was one of the best weeks of my life. I felt relaxed and I felt like I was myself." It's impossible to get very good advice when you don't explain anything. So pe... (read in full...)
Girlfriend no longer interested in sex at all and I feel like I have to close down a part of myself
Q. Hi, I've got a sort of luxury problem I suppose. I've been dating a girl for a few months now, and everything was perfect. We met up often, texted naughty things, said suggestive things over skype, even went a little further than just that. Had ...
A. 20 February 2012: Picked this link of another post that has come in. It's relevant to your situation and explains what you are dealing with. http://bluegypsy.tripod.com/physical.html (via person123)
... (read in full...)
Girlfriend no longer interested in sex at all and I feel like I have to close down a part of myself
Q. Hi, I've got a sort of luxury problem I suppose. I've been dating a girl for a few months now, and everything was perfect. We met up often, texted naughty things, said suggestive things over skype, even went a little further than just that. Had ...
A. 20 February 2012: I bet she's been abused and not only by her boyfriend. Again, there is nothing you can do if she refuses to get help. If she cannot talk, cannot get help and doesn't know how to change, you cannot stay. As you say.. already your feeling lonely, ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend no longer interested in sex at all and I feel like I have to close down a part of myself
Q. Hi, I've got a sort of luxury problem I suppose. I've been dating a girl for a few months now, and everything was perfect. We met up often, texted naughty things, said suggestive things over skype, even went a little further than just that. Had ...
A. 20 February 2012: No it's not just you being "boy like". Your girlfriend has been badly abused and she now hates sex and is afraid of it. It's nothing you have done wrong. In the beginning of your relationship she did sex to keep you so you wouldn't run away. But ... (read in full...)
Female hygiene question....
Q. hi a question for the ladies on dc. This is a question on female hygiene. How uncomfortable is it for you the day after a night of sex if you dont have time for a shower in the morning. I bring this up as my partner said she didnt want sex after she ...
A. 20 February 2012: You still get sweaty and end up with that man smell. Women are sensitive to this and she won't be able to relax and have sex properly if she's worried about feeling paranoid at work all day. If it continues to be a problem, you two got to work ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my g/f about my fetish
Q. Hi there. I'm a 30 year old male and have been going out with my g/f for nearly 4 year's now, we both love each other dearly, we are having our 1st child soon and I think she could be the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. The problem ...
A. 20 February 2012: Thanks for your update and thanks for being brave enough to share your story. Lots of people are ashamed by things they like, and by reading your post they will be reassured that everything is all right.
Awwww... it's lovely when we get a happy ... (read in full...)
How can I compete with my wife's new sex toy? It gets more action than me
Q. I got my wife a new toy. It seems the toy is getting more action than me. However, she has NO problem giving me oral sex. I seem to get more oral sex now and she seems to use her toy more. Is this normal?...
A. 20 February 2012: It's new and different.. You do know about new toys, we want to play with them a lot until we get bored or break them. In this adults are no different to kids, whether it's a vibrator, a new car, a computer or them speaking weighing scales. Give ... (read in full...)
What keeps people in marriages when they are no longer in love?
Q. When you have been married to your husband for 35 years and are no longer IN LOVE with him but Love him as a person, is it possible to continue to stay married? What is it that actually makes a person stay in a marriage where you are NOT IN LOVE ...
A. 20 February 2012: You was in love with him before and you found him attractive enough to produce children. You love him like a friend, but now your repulsed by him physically and you don't want sex. What happened, why did you start feeling like this. You don't ... (read in full...)
I know I've done wrong! But how can I fix it? I still love my ex too.
Q. Okay well for a start im the Darth Vader, Joker or Lex Luther of this whole thing! I was with a girl for 2 and a half years , She was very pretty typical blond petite girl, i was clearly under the thumb! Doing everything for her! we had our brea...
A. 20 February 2012: Not sure what your asking. Which girl do you like best? Which girl are you dating?... (read in full...)
Sex! Why, so far, has it all been so unsatisfying?
Q. hey ive been sexually active for about a year.. ive just been wondering.. I don't know if im sexually frustrated or not but i think i am. I've had sex about a good fifteen times in the year or so since i lost my virginity and it just doesnt f...
A. 20 February 2012: For a lot of women it does take some practice before they enjoy sex. It took me 3years before it stopped being painful. It's difficult to realise this in our sex-obsessed age. The books and the movies make it seem like good sex just happens and ... (read in full...)
The Cody Chronicles, Part 3: Should I reject Cody simply on the basis of the rumors about him (like him having sex with a goat)?
Q. Sorry if the questions about Cody are annoying but the people of DearCupid are my only resource for advice that I take pride in and trust. So I know that y'all know what's right. Well anyways, Cody has a horrible reputation. Every time I mention his ...
A. 20 February 2012: Trintyhunter, if you like cody and he likes you, and you have your parents permission, then date him. Kids at school like to say lots of things. At the moment what they are doing to him is called bullying. As you say, these rumours are stupid. A ... (read in full...)
Ex and I slept together but he says he can't offer me a relationship right now
Q. Hello, I split up with S in Dec 2010 i just didnt feel close to him despite me loving him he was so hard to know?, hes not good at showing his feelings, we remained friends and went out as friends but i just didnt think he wanted a relationship with ...
A. 19 February 2012: Sorry me again.. you keep talking about him crying as if you owe him something..
You know you owe him nothing, he's crying well he should have fixed himself long ago. He hasn't given you what he owes, which is to be a decent boyfriend.. all debt... (read in full...)
Ex and I slept together but he says he can't offer me a relationship right now
Q. Hello, I split up with S in Dec 2010 i just didnt feel close to him despite me loving him he was so hard to know?, hes not good at showing his feelings, we remained friends and went out as friends but i just didnt think he wanted a relationship with ...
A. 19 February 2012: lol.. four guys..nope, you won't be searching for long.. :)... (read in full...)
My mom's death is taking a toll on all of us. How can I help my younger sister and sort everything out?
Q. I am a 13 year old girl. I am quite mature for my age; however I really don’t feel ready to handle what is happening to me right now. My mother died a few months ago, after her 2nd struggle with cancer. My dad was obviously incredibly upset when it ...
A. 19 February 2012: Oh honeypie, so much problems on your shoulder, your trying to be mum but you have no power, no money and your probably too short. The job you have is very hard, even if you was older it would still be very hard. Your trying to fix everybody and ... (read in full...)
I've split from my G/f but she's going to have our baby in 6 months time. Am I entitled to be at the birth of our baby?
Q. I have just split up with girlfriend and she is having our baby in approximately 6 months time. Please may I ask for anyone's kind advice in regards to if i I am definately entitled to be at the birth of my baby? I would very much apppreciate an...
A. 19 February 2012: Sorry anon if you find me harsh. But if he's already having problems getting into the birthing room then he's got to know his rights.. I didn't want the guy to come back here a hundred times to ask about his rights to be on the birth certificate, ... (read in full...)
I slept with a married man and now he doesn't call me
Q. I slept with a married man a week ago. It was only once but I've been feeling terrible since. I had known him for three years. After that night, he texted me once or twice mentioning how great that night was. I texted him back but I tried to distant ...
A. 19 February 2012: Babes, read the link, write a letter, do something positive.. Yes you done wrong, but we don't want you to hate yourself and feel devastated and hurting.
You done a bad thing, now try to satisfy karma, not by hurting you, but by doing somethin... (read in full...)
I'm so hurt my husband told me that I suck in bed!
Q. Im so hurt my husband has told me i suck in bed and he would rather masterbate to porn. he does it often and locks himself in the room for 2 plus hours but im lucky if we spend 30 mins having sex. im so hurt and dont know what to do. He doesnt think ...
A. 19 February 2012: Missed the 30minute sex.. nope, that's not long enough to get wild and wicked and to experiment. You got my permission to tell him he sucks in bed, and if he wasn't so interested in porn, your sex life would be better. But I still want you t... (read in full...)
I'm so hurt my husband told me that I suck in bed!
Q. Im so hurt my husband has told me i suck in bed and he would rather masterbate to porn. he does it often and locks himself in the room for 2 plus hours but im lucky if we spend 30 mins having sex. im so hurt and dont know what to do. He doesnt think ...
A. 19 February 2012: You suck in Bed isn't very helpful and is rude and disrespectful, you married a pig... but if you think sex is romantic and he thinks sex is dirty sweaty and nasty, you will have problems in the bedroom because your wanting different things. You ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says he will not take advice from a girl
Q. When waiting for a take away once with my ex boyfriend, I was reading a magazine with a sex positions article in it. Being flirty, as a joke I showed it to him and he put it back on the table and said angrily I'm not taking sex advice from a girl! ...
A. 19 February 2012: Guy seems to have some sex issues. Are you to blame? HELL NO!! Is he out there having a wonderful sex life? HELL NO!! Like I said, some men have problems talking about such issues. This guy has sex problems and can't even deal with it in ... (read in full...)
Ex and I slept together but he says he can't offer me a relationship right now
Q. Hello, I split up with S in Dec 2010 i just didnt feel close to him despite me loving him he was so hard to know?, hes not good at showing his feelings, we remained friends and went out as friends but i just didnt think he wanted a relationship with ...
A. 19 February 2012: Your an agony aunt, so you know you'll have days of weakness and you will miss him sometimes.. But as an agony aunt you know what you would tell a friend in this situation... look at the greatest prize.. "happiness and in love with a man who loves ... (read in full...)
I slept with a married man and now he doesn't call me
Q. I slept with a married man a week ago. It was only once but I've been feeling terrible since. I had known him for three years. After that night, he texted me once or twice mentioning how great that night was. I texted him back but I tried to distant ...
A. 19 February 2012: Read the link I gave you... they is the experts, tons of women in love with a nice married men.. read the link and then come back to us and talk.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/in-love-w-a-married-man-how-do-i-cope-w-break-up.html
No woman ... (read in full...)
Partner lied to me about having an eleven year old child. Is this a red flag?
Q. My partner lied to me about having a child from a previous relationship. I knew he had two other childrend but I didn't know he had had another child who would be eleven years old now. I knew my partner had a relationship with the child's mother ...
A. 19 February 2012: It's still your right to want to ask, to want to fix things. Your a mother and his soulmate, you want the best for all of you and that includes your child. Your instincts are to protect (you, your child and now him) and that is very good.
Leavi... (read in full...)
How do I distance myself from a friend that only uses me?
Q. I am a 34 year old woman and I have a friend whom I really love. I just have one problem. I dont think he really cares for me and I need to seperate myself from him, I just dont know how. Everytime he ask me for something I do my best to get it for ...
A. 19 February 2012: Side with Cindycares, if your co-dependant, you keep him because you need to help someone, then doing it gently will see you giving up and not doing anything at all.
I bet it took a lot of strength to write to us. If you don't use the little e... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says he will not take advice from a girl
Q. When waiting for a take away once with my ex boyfriend, I was reading a magazine with a sex positions article in it. Being flirty, as a joke I showed it to him and he put it back on the table and said angrily I'm not taking sex advice from a girl! ...
A. 19 February 2012: This guy is not your friend. He is off limits, do not flirt, do not touch, he is like fire or poison to you and you will get hurt. No more hanging out together and definitely no sex.
Yes it's hard, I know.. been there meself... print out this... (read in full...)
I've split from my G/f but she's going to have our baby in 6 months time. Am I entitled to be at the birth of our baby?
Q. I have just split up with girlfriend and she is having our baby in approximately 6 months time. Please may I ask for anyone's kind advice in regards to if i I am definately entitled to be at the birth of my baby? I would very much apppreciate an...
A. 19 February 2012: http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/ParentsRights/DG_4002954... (read in full...)
Should I feel bad about not attending my sister's wedding considering the circumstances?
Q. Hi guys, I've been a long time contributer on here for others problems and I was wondering what others could suggest on my situation concerning my sisters' marriage. I'm not sure how I feel about this as my family isn't so close and is rathe...
A. 19 February 2012: I'm real big on families and keeping them together. As my dad says "you can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends", so I advise people to put up with jealousy, bad feelings and a lot of nonsense that you wouldn't stand from other ... (read in full...)
I'm 16, pregnant, and I don't know if I should be with the father of the baby
Q. im 16 and pregnant, yes i know your thinking im crazy. But, what im here for is to ask for advice.So im living with my boyfriend and this following month we have two years of relationship. Alright, so during does two years we've broken up plenty of ...
A. 19 February 2012: Your 16, you've dated this guy since 14, you had underage sex (depending on your state) and got pregnant, now your guy is looking at other girls and trying to avoid you. This is why we old people try to warn you about the sex so young thing. He... (read in full...)
My hubby see whatever I say as a personal attack on him and becomes aggravated and rude, his rudeness is lowering my esteem each day, what do I do?
Q. I have been married for a 7 months and having problems with my hubby .he is generally a good person. however, he can really be rude. He would say I ask too many unnecessary questions, when am asking a genuine innocent question, he would also just ...
A. 19 February 2012: His behaviour doesn't sound normal, and is very worrying. If he's getting upset over very little things and insulting you, I worry what will happen over big things.
Has he always been like this, even before you married him?
Does he treat everyo... (read in full...)
Does he sound like a sociopath
Q. He and i were fwb in the past but we're just friends now. I went to see him at his place because he's going away for a month and we wanted to see each other before he left. We've always been pretty flirty around each other but nothing has happened ...
A. 19 February 2012: Like shawncaff, the reason I don't see him as a sociopath, is you only mention bad treatment of women, not of all human beings.... (read in full...)
I've split from my G/f but she's going to have our baby in 6 months time. Am I entitled to be at the birth of our baby?
Q. I have just split up with girlfriend and she is having our baby in approximately 6 months time. Please may I ask for anyone's kind advice in regards to if i I am definately entitled to be at the birth of my baby? I would very much apppreciate an...
A. 19 February 2012: No your not entitled to be at the birth. She will be in surgery, some of her will be naked, it might be your baby, but your not entitled to see her at her most vulnerable. She will be in pain, and will only want friends and loved ones around. She ... (read in full...)
How do I distance myself from a friend that only uses me?
Q. I am a 34 year old woman and I have a friend whom I really love. I just have one problem. I dont think he really cares for me and I need to seperate myself from him, I just dont know how. Everytime he ask me for something I do my best to get it for ...
A. 19 February 2012: He's only using you for money. You don't have to do everything for a man and pay him, that isn't love at all. Write him a letter, tell him he is too expensive for you to keep and you are tired of a man who never has any money because he's too ... (read in full...)
Does he sound like a sociopath
Q. He and i were fwb in the past but we're just friends now. I went to see him at his place because he's going away for a month and we wanted to see each other before he left. We've always been pretty flirty around each other but nothing has happened ...
A. 19 February 2012: Not a psychopath. But he has no respect for women. He only can relate to you as a sex toy, he doesn't see women as friends. He want's to have sex with you and still keep his girlfriend. He doesn't hide anything, he doesn't have to, who cares ... (read in full...)
Ex and I slept together but he says he can't offer me a relationship right now
Q. Hello, I split up with S in Dec 2010 i just didnt feel close to him despite me loving him he was so hard to know?, hes not good at showing his feelings, we remained friends and went out as friends but i just didnt think he wanted a relationship with ...
A. 19 February 2012: "i'm 37 and want to be happy and in love with someone who loves me ???" Hard talk coming up... Why are you lying to yourself? Why are you letting this guy use you and give very little back? You know what you want, you told us, a guy who mak... (read in full...)
The cleaning lady is coming on to me, how do I proceed from here?
Q. So the cleaning lady comes over every Friday to the house and i kind of have a crush on her. There are times when were home alone together and i swear i get the feeling that she wants me! She's like 45-46 im 19. She's always sparking conversation ...
A. 19 February 2012: I'll assume your not dreaming. If the woman is older and hot for your ass, don't do anything, she'll tell you when she wants you. Don't make a move, don't touch, don't try to flirt, don't come on to her or you'll go and spoil everything. Older ... (read in full...)
I slept with a married man and now he doesn't call me
Q. I slept with a married man a week ago. It was only once but I've been feeling terrible since. I had known him for three years. After that night, he texted me once or twice mentioning how great that night was. I texted him back but I tried to distant ...
A. 19 February 2012: He's married He's a cheat He can't be faithful He wanted sex You gave him sex Now he's looking for his next victim Please check out this post.. lots of women in your situation, maybe you'll find some comfort in knowing that you've not wast... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says he will not take advice from a girl
Q. When waiting for a take away once with my ex boyfriend, I was reading a magazine with a sex positions article in it. Being flirty, as a joke I showed it to him and he put it back on the table and said angrily I'm not taking sex advice from a girl! ...
A. 19 February 2012: Ah.... he's an ex for a reason remember that. I don't think it's a good idea for you to be around him right now.... (read in full...)
Why do these women at my office think that its OK to be so bitchy to other workers? And can anyone tell me what I can do to not let this 'get' to me?
Q. I work in a mainly female work area. There are some much older very experienced men. But then men seem to stick together and that bothers no one. Some of them are dinosaures. One has to get help to look at his emails and none of them like using the ...
A. 19 February 2012: Sorry my follow up is so late. I made the point badly, I wasn't trying to tell you that assertiveness would help, I was trying to show you that it doesn't matter if your assertive, or if your quiet and kind like some of the ladies you ment... (read in full...)
7 weeks pregnant, two guys involved, not sure what to do, which one to chose
Q. im currently 7 weeks pregant and involved with two guys who i think the world of that im seeing, i know it s wrong i just can't help it, I know who most likely the father is and that guy i have literally known a month. Hes indian and not got a br...
A. 19 February 2012: Please go to your doctors right away, and I hope that everything is ok. It's funny how these emergencies make the mind clear and show us the decisions we must make. My heart goes out to you.. blessings babes... my words are not enough right now... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has history of violence. Am I worrying too much?
Q. Long story short, I found out over the last couple of days that my boyfriend has a really bad temper. I haven't been dating him for long and i've known hes had a bad temper for a while but i'm now gett...
A. 18 February 2012: Sorry, really should think more talk less... It's the autism, that's the main problem... and therefore, yes, he could be dangerous to you as well. He has problems at home because he is smashing up his mother's house. He needs medical help or ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has history of violence. Am I worrying too much?
Q. Long story short, I found out over the last couple of days that my boyfriend has a really bad temper. I haven't been dating him for long and i've known hes had a bad temper for a while but i'm now gett...
A. 18 February 2012: Yep, I've known guys like this. Big softies, tall and well built, wouldn't hurt a fly, quiet as a mouse. Yep, an attractive target for bullies who think because he's built big he must like to fight. Went to school with guys like that, I got ... (read in full...)
My husband would rather watch porn and get an erection and masturbate than have sex with me! Where did I go wrong?
Q. I have been married to my husband for almost 14 years and over the last 6 months to a year I have noticed he is into his porn more than he is into me. He came home early one afternoon and asked me if I wanted to have sex with him... I jumped at the ...
A. 18 February 2012: Man watches porn, lots of guys do this. Man watches porn but can't satisfy a woman... guy has a problem.. nothing to do with you, not your fault at all. If you as a woman are avoiding sex, you will notice it, worry about it, deal with it, want to ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says he will not take advice from a girl
Q. When waiting for a take away once with my ex boyfriend, I was reading a magazine with a sex positions article in it. Being flirty, as a joke I showed it to him and he put it back on the table and said angrily I'm not taking sex advice from a girl! ...
A. 18 February 2012: Macho man... lol.. many guys are like this, they hate to show any vulnerabilities or insecurities.. Much easier to go to a man for advice, where you can pretend you don't care, tell them little, forget a lot and lie a bit and get advice that doesn't ... (read in full...)
7 weeks pregnant, two guys involved, not sure what to do, which one to chose
Q. im currently 7 weeks pregant and involved with two guys who i think the world of that im seeing, i know it s wrong i just can't help it, I know who most likely the father is and that guy i have literally known a month. Hes indian and not got a br...
A. 15 February 2012: I think you need independent advice. Many people on the internet have their own opinions about pregnancy and abortion and may not be thinking about what is best for you. Contact your local family planning clinic, there you will find people who ... (read in full...)
Female hygiene question....
Q. hi a question for the ladies on dc. This is a question on female hygiene. How uncomfortable is it for you the day after a night of sex if you dont have time for a shower in the morning. I bring this up as my partner said she didnt want sex after she ...
A. 15 February 2012: Don't know about icky afterwards. But I like to bath/shower together before sex, and won't leave the house unless I have shower, sex or not.
It's a valid excuse, how people like to keep clean is different for many people. But if she washes e... (read in full...)
Partner lied to me about having an eleven year old child. Is this a red flag?
Q. My partner lied to me about having a child from a previous relationship. I knew he had two other childrend but I didn't know he had had another child who would be eleven years old now. I knew my partner had a relationship with the child's mother ...
A. 13 February 2012: I'm curious to what happens now. You already have a kid for this guy.. are you going to dump him and ban him from being a father.. Protect the child from who? Is there signs that the guy is abusive, has he hurt you or your child in anyway. Leave ... (read in full...)
Partner lied to me about having an eleven year old child. Is this a red flag?
Q. My partner lied to me about having a child from a previous relationship. I knew he had two other childrend but I didn't know he had had another child who would be eleven years old now. I knew my partner had a relationship with the child's mother ...
A. 12 February 2012: One woman beat him up
The other takes his kids away because he has a girlfriend
Your on here because you judge him because of how he's treated
Guy doesn't seem to have much luck with women... (read in full...)
Partner lied to me about having an eleven year old child. Is this a red flag?
Q. My partner lied to me about having a child from a previous relationship. I knew he had two other childrend but I didn't know he had had another child who would be eleven years old now. I knew my partner had a relationship with the child's mother ...
A. 12 February 2012: It would be a red flag to me. I like men who love their children, and I expect them to maintain a good relationship with the child's mother, if not friendship, then at least they should be a support to her and their child. Then I can be sure they ... (read in full...)
Why do these women at my office think that its OK to be so bitchy to other workers? And can anyone tell me what I can do to not let this 'get' to me?
Q. I work in a mainly female work area. There are some much older very experienced men. But then men seem to stick together and that bothers no one. Some of them are dinosaures. One has to get help to look at his emails and none of them like using the ...
A. 11 February 2012: I know exactly how you feel, been there myself. And because I'm a direct person and will just tell them they is wrong to their face, or stop them gossiping about other people, they were careful to do all their nastiness behind my back, and I would ... (read in full...)
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