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Female hygiene question....

Tagged as: Health, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 February 2012) 15 Answers - (Newest, 20 February 2012)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

hi a question for the ladies on dc. This is a question on female hygiene. How uncomfortable is it for you the day after a night of sex if you dont have time for a shower in the morning. I bring this up as my partner said she didnt want sex after she had washed because she didnt want to feel uncomfouable and dirty the next day downstairs

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (20 February 2012):

Miamine agony auntYou still get sweaty and end up with that man smell. Women are sensitive to this and she won't be able to relax and have sex properly if she's worried about feeling paranoid at work all day. If it continues to be a problem, you two got to work together to find another time for sex play.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2012):

Roll with the punches. Maybe when she is in this mood, its really she may not want sex or if she does, maybe just be happy with oral and or non penatrative sex.

Or just respect her wishes. If its an ongoing complaint- then something is up in the trust department of your relationship where she feels hurt and distanced from you so she will not feel safe to be vunerable with you and connect with you on an emotional level UNTIL you clean house.

;)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2012):

i am the op. Just to let you know i always ware a condom

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2012):

Yes I don't mind the scent of the man I love semen the next day but sometimes the oozing semen can be a bit much. Having to change undies and pad liners is a way of life that men don't seem to understand so the condom at times is very thoughtful and a team decision as would pull out method be helpful in such a situation.

I have a very strong sense of smell and sometimes worry, irrationally, that everyone knows I had sex the night before. :P

Men just are clueless about such things because they dont have semen falling out of their orfices.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (16 February 2012):

Tisha-1 agony auntIf she dislikes having semen dripping out of her vagina during the day, it's not an unreasonable request that you not ejaculate inside her. It's not exactly conducive to feeling professional or good about your hygiene. You can shower the exterior but what goes up must come down eventually, and it's easier to let that happen naturally overnight than to face it during the day. It's just kind of messy, if you get the drift.

If you offer to wear a condom perhaps this won't be such an issue for her.

I would not feel good going to work after a night of sex without a chance to clean up, it would make me feel uncomfortable.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (16 February 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntTo the anonymous male reader who said she is either insecure about her hygiene or she’s just making excuses…

I disagree. If you have EVER had a UTI which women get frequently after sex especially if they don’t “groom” afterwards, you would not be so caviler and dismissive.

Women tend to get an odor even without sex within a few hours of bathing. Add in the semen of her lover which has it’s own scent… and mix her chemical make up with his and you can be rather overpowering… and when walking or sitting the smell will waft up and you “smell like sex” even if OTHER people don’t smell it.. the woman can and will. Since you are not a woman you would not understand this.

In addition can I please drop some yogurt in your underwear and have you sit in it?

Perhaps the woman does not have time to shower in the mornings and only showers at night.. I know my mornings often don’t include a shower because I had one the night before… if she showers at night and he wants sex after and she does not have time for another shower before going out… well then it’s VERY understandable and NOT an excuse…

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A female reader, dr.2.be United States +, writes (16 February 2012):

dr.2.be agony auntIt really all depends on the person's preference. Everybody is different. I don't feel dirty or uncomfortable after sex, and I don't NEED to take a shower post sex. Especially since I always take a shower before bed. But it is important at the very least for a woman to use the bathroom, freshen up with moist wipes and/or rinse her vaginal area post sex to prevent bacteria from entering the urethra,causing a UTI. It can be a little messy afterwards if the man does not use a condom....as there can be some urr.....leakage for lack of a better word reguardless whether or not she takes a shower. Still to me, not disgusting and that small issue can be taken care of by wearing a pantiliner and carrying some baby wipes with you to school/work. No big deal IMO.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2012):

Either she's too insecure about her hygiene, or she's just making an excuse to not have sex.

Taking a shower after sex is good, but not necessary.

Most girls I have seen just wipe themselves with a tissue, and take a shower when they have time.

And like the other aunts said, it just takes some plain water and one minute time. Is there anything special that your girlfriend does in the shower?

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A male reader, JustHelpinAgain Canada +, writes (15 February 2012):

Yes, unless you have a hot water issue whats the problem with a quick shower in the morning? sounds like a lazy excuse!!!

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A female reader, Candid Cally United States +, writes (15 February 2012):

It can be unpleasant and if the guy isn't wearing a condom there is definitely a bit of a mess and a lingering odor if a girl doesn't wash up afterwards.

Some women are also more likely to develop bladder or urinary tract infections if they do not wash up immediately afterwards. This is due to slight anatomical variations in some women.

Her reason is valid, and she wasn't making up an excuse to not be intimate. Girls are very self-conscious about their lady-parts. Please try to understand that our intimate bits require more maintenance than a man's. By respecting her wishes regarding intimacy and her hygiene practices, you are showing your girl that you are mature and you respect her body and her as a person. This is a big deal to a woman in a relationship.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (15 February 2012):

Miamine agony auntDon't know about icky afterwards. But I like to bath/shower together before sex, and won't leave the house unless I have shower, sex or not.

It's a valid excuse, how people like to keep clean is different for many people. But if she washes every night instead of the morning, I don't see how you'll ever manage to have sex again. Hopefully this was just a one off.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (15 February 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntagreed if i Have sex after my bedtime shower I will wash off that night and then in the morning get in and take a quick shower... it's pretty icky...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2012):

Can't imagine it feels comfortable, but it takes literally 2 mins to "rinse" down there with the shower head/jug over the toilet/ bath straight after, and then again in the morning .....Which is kind of basic hygiene anyway

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (15 February 2012):

person12345 agony auntIf the guy isn't wearing a condom it can feel REALLY awful to not wash after.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2012):

The answer is...it depends. Personally, it wouldn't matter to me. You can freshen up down there without having to shower but that's just me. Other women might be different and that's why u have to respect her choice.

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