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What's causing my anxiety?

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Question - (13 May 2006) 8 Answers - (Newest, 15 May 2006)
A male , *uscles writes:

I have an ongoing anxiety which is really really weird and strange or at least i think so...A month or too back I was feeling low for no reason at all and had random sadness for a week or so and my girlfriend was really worrying that I was going off her and it made me feel guilty that I was and it was if my body was trying to convince me that I was going off her.

As it passed I was fine for a few weeks and then it came back again for a day or two then passed and then a week later maybe on and off during the day....In the past 4 days I have felt the same again feeling as if my body was convincing me that I was going off my girlfriend which i really don't want to happen....Can anyone tell me why is keeps reacurring and what can trigger it too keep coming back for a few days?...Is our 5 month relationship begginning to burn out (which i really hope not!) and what can be done to get rid of this horrible anxiety that keeps coming back......

thanks

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A female reader, Country Woman United Kingdom +, writes (15 May 2006):

Country Woman agony auntHey at the end of the day you sound like a decent guy and so trying to do everything you can to keep your g/f happy is not a bad attribute to have.

Honesty as my old mum says is always the best policy and whilst it sometimes hurts, you are putting your relationship onto an honest and truthful basis and that is so good in the long run.

I think that things will improve as the summer comes along and here's hoping that this weather actually gets to a sunny stage and stays that way. Here's hoping eh!!!! lol

BFN

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A male reader, Muscles +, writes (15 May 2006):

Muscles is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Heyy thanks again for the reply....I have decided to be honest with her about staying at her nans and most other things...It's not intimidation its just that I feel guilty letting her down when shes asked me and she would not do the same to me kind of thing :S But then again i've not asked her to stay at my nans etc and with college and the tiredness and having too do work etc I'd rather stay home....but the main thing is i feel guilty for letting her down...

i have just told her and waiting for her reply...

And regarding the getting out more I shall let her know n that....And hopefully with more hot weather coming we can do a lot more....

thanks for your replys

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A female reader, Country Woman United Kingdom +, writes (15 May 2006):

Country Woman agony auntI'm afraid that you need to be honest with your g/f tell her you don't feel comfortable staying at her nan's. Staying at her parents place is different than a strange place miles away from home so just tell her that it just doesn't sit well with you and it makes you worried and you would rather not at the moment thanks.

If your g/f over reacts to this and also the fact of you going out with your mates once in a while then she sounds like she needs to do a little bit of growing up.

Tell her that you want to get more exercise as you feel really lazy sitting indoors and getting on your bikes would be great fun with a picnic and stopping off somewhere nice like a park or something.

Right now I think you being the active one and her just happy to sit at home is causing the restlessness between you. You have get up and go and she is not fussed to be honest.

I am not saying part with this girl because she is not doing much but start to put your point across and let her know that you are not happy sitting indoors all the time.

If you don't say something now it will cause bigger arguments later and will the summer coming on fast you want to get out a bit more. The last 5 months has been the Winter/Spring.

Just don't be continually frightened of talking to your g/f, is there intimidation here?

I think you have both been extremely mature in respect of the sex side of things and to be on contraception and talking to parents to let them know what the situation is proves to me that you are extremely mature and responsible so that is fantastic.

Stay strong, the world is at your feet and your g/f needs to ride along with you instead of sitting on the sidelines.

How about suggesting some dancing or something like Salsa which you could both enjoy or something similar that you both think you would like to do.

Best of luck and keep me posted eh!!

BFN

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A male reader, Muscles +, writes (14 May 2006):

Muscles is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Oh also the sex side of things was not rushed into...She is on the pill and we use all precations neccesary .... We planned extremely well telling parents etc etc....

But i kno shes under age but i wouldn't have done it if i didn't love her....

:)

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A male reader, Muscles +, writes (14 May 2006):

Muscles is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hi thanks for posting again... I am learning to drive soon and can ride a bike and used to go out a lot with mates on my bike i have suggested going on my bike with her but she not being funny to my gf is 'lazy' and makes up excuses if it involves exercise.....I feel at times that I am frightened to tell her that I either 'want to go out with mates tonite instead of 'possibly having the chance to see her' and for example next week she wants me to stay in coventry at her nans which i don't really feel like doing tbh as I hate being away from home and barely know her nan....but i am frightened to tell her because she will be all funny and upset probably and jumping to conclusions....how can I tell her without sounding funny?...

next week I am going out with my mates to a concert which will be a change...

I have gotten to the stage where I think sitting in a room for hours on end is quite boring and need somthing to do i just wish there were more and more things to do that are closer....

I will try to ask her if she wants to take up a hobbie and will make sure we go out more....Think she needs some pushing, i think she is quite a homely person and is used to spending hours in her house doing nothing in particular which im not im used to going out and usually spending time in my house all day can get me quite frustrated....

thankssss

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A female reader, Country Woman United Kingdom +, writes (14 May 2006):

Country Woman agony auntSeems to me like you are currently having an overkill with the time you spend with your girlfriend. Do you ever go out alone with your mates at all?

OK so the sex side of things is fine which is great. I guess the underage thing though is not so fine but you both know what your doing and I am not one to judge anyone in that way.

The lack of actually doing much when your together sounds to me like yes fine at the beginning but a bit tedious now.

You both have your whole lives ahead of you and you should be enjoying life not worrying about what's round the corner.

Go to the pictures, out for nice long walks or something, maybe if one of you has a dog. Lovely weather starting to come now so no real excuses there and it's very cheap to do. Bowling or window shopping can be fun. Going to the beach in the summer or flying a kite or anything that doesn't have to cost a fortune.

Your g/f wants the promises forever and no one can do that, just tell her what feels comfortable for you to say and don't just get down about everything as you are too young to worry the rest of your life away.

Do you drive or ride a bike or anything yet? I know the age limits are changing and do you work or go to college?

Thanks for coming back to me btw.

BFN

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A male reader, Muscles +, writes (14 May 2006):

Muscles is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hiya well no I am still really attracted to my girlfriend and perfectly fine during the erection side during sex I have not had any problems with that at all apart form once...I still feel really turned on when with my girlfriend. When i mean 'my body is telling me to go off her' i mean i think what its trying to say is to 'not see her today do somthing different and see her tommorow sort of thing' well at least i think so anyway ....

I think my relationshipis not balanced at all i see my girlfriend about 5 times a week for about 7-8 hours maybe more and we don't do a great deal but i can still cope with it because im fine with her....We end up sitting in mine or her room and just watching TV and that....I think that was fine to begin with but now i need an even balance and we need to go out. At that funny age where we can get to places we wud like to go n that...

As far as sleep I get no problems getting to sleep but too much sleep and i feel knackered...

I have had a lot of problems with my teeth and had root canal treatment twice and about 7-8 abcess on my gum in the past 4 months...Had treatment a week ago and hopefully things will be fine...I have lots of energy and can still workout in the gym perfectly fine...

I think i worry about it too mucha nd get caught up in a whirlpool but im not sure what really could be bringing it up completely randomly....my girlfriend is quite OTT (she is 15 almost 16 im 17) and talks a lot about our future together and im not like that im the opposite and go with the flow....Iyet if i told her that she would start being insecure and thinking that i was not gunna be with her forever.....she makes me promise to be with her together eg i asked her what she would like for her birthday and she sed 'ur love forever' which i said 'okay then' then she sed 'you don't sound to sure' and i sed 'well i don't think like that, u never kno what cud happen i'd love too stay with you and hope things will work our perfectly fine' etc and she sed 'well you shouldn't be in something and think its going to end....so eyah thats what shes like....maybe thats off putting ?

thankssss

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A female reader, Country Woman United Kingdom +, writes (14 May 2006):

Country Woman agony auntYour relationship with your girlfriend is still relatively fresh but it seems as though there is a lot more going on here.

Are you stressed with your work or do you have any financial worries at all at the moment.

When you say your body keeps telling you that you are going off your girlfriend, do you mean from an erection side of things during sex?

There are all manor of reasons for this to be happening to you, perhaps stress related issues rather than sexual or depression for one reason or another.

We can never tell when any of this can happen but do you feel well in yourself or not?

Are you sleeping OK or do you have plenty of sleep and still get up absolutely shattered?

Do you have lots of energy or none whatsoever?

A lot of questions that need to be asked I think.

Don't jump to conclusions right now, look into what your body is truly trying to tell you as it may have nothing to do with your girlfriend at all but your body's own way of telling you that you are either burning yourself out or that you are low for a reason.

Let me know some of the answers to the questions above and perhaps there are some solutions that can be found rather than the only one you seem to be coming to of ending your relationship with your g/f which you don't want to do.

I wait to hear from you OK.

BFN

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