A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating this guy, and we are crazy about each other. The only thing I'm a little uncomfortable with is the fact that his best friend is someone he's had strong feelings for and hooked up with in the past. plot twist: she is a lesbian. I guess at the time she must have been unsure about it because she apparently liked him back at some point. He liked her for years, but she insisted she was a lesbian and it crushed him. They've remained best friends and I've been really understanding about it but all of my friends say that's weird and that he's not thinking straight. It does make me a little uncomfortable, especially since they work together a lot. I know how he feels about me and I'm confident in our relationship, but are my friends right and am I being too cool about it?
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best friend, crush, lesbian Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 November 2017):
 Well if it is always on the back off your mind I would tell him. He has hooked up with this lady so its gone past friendship but for whatever reason he does not want to let her go. That would worry me.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've definitely told him! He's assured me it's not like that anymore so I do trust that but of course it's always in the back of my mind
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (17 November 2017):
Your boyfriend obviously has more romantic feelings towards her than she does for him. She is attracted to other females and well for whatever reason your boyfriend has decided to keep her in his life as a friend. I know personally I would feel uncomfortable with this because I would feel he was always wanting more with her and that I was second best. It doesn't matter what your friends or anyone else says on the matter, if you are comfortable with them being friends and you are secure and trust him then there is nothing to worry about. I just know personally I would need to tell him how it made me feel.
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A
male
reader, TylerSage +, writes (17 November 2017):
 Yes, it is a bit awkward, however she has declared herself to be a lesbian. The hooking up aspect is in the past and you can't do anything about that, but what you really need to be concerned about are your boyfriend's feelings towards this girl.
Sure, she's a lesbian, but what if she decides to experiment again, or has a bad break up and turn to your boyfriend for comfort? Their chemistry seems to have the to potential to get physical at some point in time. I say keep a close eye on your boyfriend, but not too close, if you feel uncomfortable have a talk with him about it. Just know that it could cost you your relationship.
It's a tricky situation.
All the best.
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