A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hiya I've been with my fiance for 4 years we have a 2 year old daughter together last weekend I caught him watching porn on his phone it wouldn't have bothered me so much but the last few months our sex life has been once a month so I was hurt when I saw that we have had trust issues in the past due to him adding women he found attractive on social media anyone been in the same or similar situation if so what did you do thank you
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2017): Talk to him and tell him how this makes you feel, especially since he has added women on social media in the past whom he has found attractive. Tell him your needs are not being met.
He is probably addicted to porn, which is becoming more of a problem today due to easy access. If this is the case, then don't expect him to change unless he gets help.
If he doesn't agree to show you some respect, get help and satisfy your needs instead of being so self-serving, then he isn't worth any more of your precious time.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 November 2017):
 The best thing to do here is to communicate with each other. Talk to him and tell him how this has made you feel, but also sit and listen to him and ask him how he feels. It might just be the fact that communication has broke down so remember to talk to each other and hopefully you can both get to the bottom off it. Make sure it is solved before you decide to marry each other anyway.
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A
female
reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (17 November 2017):
 Also he probably is addicted to porn but that's just a side effect of his overuse- it's DOESN'T excuse him
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A
female
reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (17 November 2017):
Please use punctuation. It's very simple and makes your post possible to read.
Look, you have a daughter so you need to start opening your eyes, and using some common sense.
It's normal to find other people attractive, but the difference is them being close enough to your heart that you would never *intentionally* hurt them and you commit to them above all others..
HE is this wankturd sleazeball that is LUSTING after every half decent woman, OTHER than you.. he DOESN'T want what you want- love, fidelity, commitment he WANTS an easy life and to get his end away with the least effort exerted.. hence why the porn is so frequent- it's the quickest release. Where as sex with you includes cuddles, intimacy, CLOSENESS. And here is where you ask the difficult question you don't want to answer- WHY is it that he has no DESIRE for this closeness?
Because he's a sleazy LAZY user toss pot that DOESN'T love you, or care about YOUR NEEDS OR YOUR FEELINGS.
Why is he still there with you? Well moving out back with his rents/ having to afford his own place/ not having the easy life/ having to legally pay paternity and go through the paperwork.. well, it's just not the easy life he's accustomed to- YOU'VE accustomed him to. And because you're wanting intimacy he knows if he actually wants sex with a REAL woman it's there on tap...
Please put YOURs and your DAUGHTERS needs first. This is a dysfunctional relationship and when she's older she'll pick up on the way he treats you, how YOU tolerate his bad treatment, neglect (again and again) and think it's a HEALTHY relationship
He is legally entitled to pay paternity. I don't know your financial circumstances, but it is worth moving with a friend/ parents to get out of this.. You have a child so you should be able to get something from the council, on your own as you're split up. And that's what you need to do! Stop spooning down the dirt he's dishing out!
Start wanting a guy who shows you basic respect. Four years is WAY past the sell by date for marriage- and why hasn't he married you? Because he's a sleazeball toss pot and by not marrying you he is SAVING himself the hassle of a divorce when you finally see the light, and get rid- he's keeping his options open basically while stringing you along.
better you see the light sooner rather than later, as there' a kid involved. DO NOT MARRY HIM, even if he asks when you tell him it's over. THAT is a ploy to manipulate you into bying time for him to think of the next piss-poor excuse.
Please get out
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