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I wasn't interested dating because I might move soon but looks like I'm in a relationship now!

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Question - (21 November 2017) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 December 2017)
A male Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

So I am a 24 year old guy who had no intentions of dating anyone, because I did not want to start anything during this time in my life.

I started working at a part time job and met this girl who I talked to from time to time, who eventually asked me for my number. I thought she just wanted to be friends, and now flash forward nearly two months and we are now dating and spending a lot of time together.

The biggest issue (which I have brought up very subtly) is that she is 18 years old and barely started college. For me, I am about to start Medical School in July which means there is a 90% chance that I will move UNLESS I get into a Medical School that is local to me. The age gap does not bother me, but the fact that there is a time limit is what bothers me.

I have occasionally brought it up like this: "Yeah, well in seven months when I move..." but it doesn't seem to phase her.

My question is what should I do? I don't know if she wants to date casually, or if she's getting invested, etc. I know it's early which is why I don't want to bring anything up, because I don't want to ruin the fun. What do you think?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (1 December 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntI think it is not phasing her because she has just turned 18 and is still young and living in the moment. If you don't see her as part off your future then please just be honest with her so that she knows where she stands. You at 24 should be a lot more mature than that and she is still fragile and a young age of 18. So be honest with her about how you are feeling.

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A female reader, 02DuszJ United Kingdom +, writes (22 November 2017):

02DuszJ agony auntI agree with N91- the first thing I thought when I read your post is how selfish that would be .. you to lead her on when you KNOW it's just "fun" for you..

Listen you have admitted to YOURSELF that due to circumstances it's not really going to work.. my friend is training to be a doctor and you know what? The amount of work- you're NOT going to have the time to pursue someone that it seems like you're pretty half-arsed about..

Even if you have strong feelings, you're not going to be able to maintain a long distance relationship while studying at med school! She's so young and more needy for that fact, you're spending a lot of time now but she's guna be REGULARLY wanting a lot of attention- which you won't be able to provide.

I would do the right thing now, it's only fair on her

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (22 November 2017):

N91 agony auntIt's not early, 7 months is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

If you think she's getting emotionally invested and you KNOW there's a good chance you'll be leaving, I think it's very selfish of you to keep things going just so you've got somewhere to put your dick for the time being.

I'd sit her down and make sure she's fully aware that you're going to be moving away. If she accepts that and is happy with it then by all means continue and enjoy the time you have left. On the other hand, if she's seeing this as a long term thing and you're not then the right thing is to cut her loose and for you to find someone who's happy with no commitment.

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