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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
This question has 29 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
This question has 102 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
Advice to young men about young women
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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Did I make a mistake when I decided to let him go? Broke up last night
Q. i really don't know how to express myself still i will try. Its been 2 years since i am dating my boyfriend. Both of us are in our late twenties and this is the 2nd relationship for both of us. We started dating in 2014 before that we were ...
A. 31 March 2016: I don’t think you made a mistake. You want to feel valued and loved, and he was never able to do that. I think you’ll find that once you get over the mourning period, you’ll feel much better.
I would suggest that you research the stages of grie... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has turned into a jerk since taking sick leave
Q. Hey everyone! My boyfriend is currently in a difficult situation - he is 41, a barman, and has been off work on sick leave since last August. He had an operation on his back in January and his sick leave ends in the middle of April, so basically he ...
A. 31 March 2016: So he’s a jerk, AND stupid? Are you venting and intending to stay with this stupid jerk? Or are you venting because you are happy to be ending the relationship soon?... (read in full...)
I have feelings for the boy I am texting and having sex with
Q. The past 2 month I've been texting and sleeping with a guy and recently found out I am 4 weeks pregnant. We have spoke about it and argued a lot over the past few days due to him telling all of his friends after me repeatedly asking and telling him ...
A. 31 March 2016: Hi, sorry to hear that you are going through a very difficult time. I have a link for you here: https://www.mariestopes.org.uk
He may or may not be ready to be a father or a support to someone he’s impregnated.
I think you need to leave him out ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be fired but feel uncomfortable with what my boss is requesting me to do
Q. I started my job yesterday as an administrative assistant, at a private accounting firm. My boss told me today she wants me to call tomorrow a credit card company and be her and ask them to waive a fee for her. I feel kind of uncomfor...
A. 30 March 2016: And just to further puzzle on this, how strange that someone would just give you their social security number. Hello, identify theft? Very bizarre.
Definitely go down to the Human Resource manager today before the end of the day!... (read in full...)
I don't want to be fired but feel uncomfortable with what my boss is requesting me to do
Q. I started my job yesterday as an administrative assistant, at a private accounting firm. My boss told me today she wants me to call tomorrow a credit card company and be her and ask them to waive a fee for her. I feel kind of uncomfor...
A. 30 March 2016: What’s really odd about this request is that in the time she needed to take to give you all the details, she could have called the credit card company herself. Very strange.... (read in full...)
I don't want to be fired but feel uncomfortable with what my boss is requesting me to do
Q. I started my job yesterday as an administrative assistant, at a private accounting firm. My boss told me today she wants me to call tomorrow a credit card company and be her and ask them to waive a fee for her. I feel kind of uncomfor...
A. 30 March 2016: Go to Human Resources and ask this question. There may be a reason she had to get a new administrative assistant.... (read in full...)
Should I propose to him? He has said in the past that he wouldn't mind.
Q. My BF of 3 yrs and I are travelling to California and Vegas in October and have decided to elope while there.. secretly! Anyway I know he's been looking been looking at engagement rings bur I also know he does not have the money for one ( he sta...
A. 29 March 2016: What do you need to get organized? Thank you for the follow up. I'm still a bit confused.
If he still wants there to be an official proposal, he has an opinion, obviously, passive tense though that sentence be... So in his idea of a proposal, is t... (read in full...)
My new boyfriend wants me to shave EVERYWHERE!
Q. helo. My new boyfriend is 8 years older than me, we met on a dating site (i didn't mean to join the site i was only there for fun so we met). He is muscular, very smart, very clean, handy, hygienic but what i find odd is he doesn't like hair. He ...
A. 29 March 2016: Why are you dating a guy if you can't ask him this question? You said you met him on a dating site you didn't mean to be on, but then suddenly you're dating him? All a bit odd. I'm a little concerned for you that you don't seem to be able to ... (read in full...)
How can I stand tall this time without letting him back into my life?
Q. Hello and thanks for your help. I've been with my boyfriend on and off for 4 years. His attitude isn't good to say the least. He dictates how long I need to stay when I'm with him. If I can only stay a couple hours he argues. He wants me to cons...
A. 29 March 2016: "It's been a bumpy ride, we've tried for 4 years and it's clear this isn't working. I wish you well in the future."
If you are fearful for your safety then I would encourage you to find a hotline here: http://www.hotpeachpages.net/canada/
and o... (read in full...)
The messages are turning sexual. When is it a good time to tell him I've never had sex?
Q. I've been talking to this guy for a couple of weeks now and everything seems to be great and going really well. We've been on a few dates that have also turned out well and we both are starting to enjoy each other's company. I'm really starting to ...
A. 29 March 2016: "Hey, we need to know each other better and have an understanding before we go there." That could be your response when the messages get too sexual for your comfort level.
I'd have a short and sweet and simple conversation with him when you are actu... (read in full...)
Will my wife ever have a threesome?
Q. My wife and I are married for 5years. I am a sex crazy person and my wife was traditional Indian. I always wanted to watch my wife in bed with other guys. I told her my fantasy during sex and she got turned on extremely. She has never watched porn ...
A. 29 March 2016: I can't speak for your wife but I would never want to be coerced into a threesome. It suggests that you put your sexual desires above the mental and physical health of your wife.
Keep it in the realm of fantasy if she's said "no." Unless you want... (read in full...)
Do all women like to be watched while they are bathing?
Q. When I ask my wife how she will feel if some one peek in her bathroom and watch her bath, she got extremely horny. Is that normal... how do I know she got extremely horny?, I was doing an intercource with her when I asked. So she basically went ...
A. 29 March 2016: Um, no. Fantasy is one thing, being the victim of an actual predator is entirely another.
Be happy she enjoys your sex play but don't make assumptions about women based on a few moments in the marital bed.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seemed too interested in my friend during our threesome
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years and have had a great sex life with lots of experimentation as we both have high sex drives. He has always wanted to have a threesome so I, having had two previous good experiences with thr...
A. 28 March 2016: Perhaps this idea of invisibility wasn't thoroughly explored and discussed. If he was meeting her for the very first time then a smidgeon of close examination would be natural?
Anyway, I guess the script wasn't completely memorized by him. Also it d... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seemed too interested in my friend during our threesome
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years and have had a great sex life with lots of experimentation as we both have high sex drives. He has always wanted to have a threesome so I, having had two previous good experiences with thr...
A. 28 March 2016: Full disclosure, never had a threesome, never planning to.
I guess the question for me is, isn't the point of having a threesome to be sexually aroused by the other person? I think the reigning wisdom is that men are visual creatures, like to see ... (read in full...)
If I am to do so, how do I tell someone they have been creatively inspirational?
Q. I am a singer/songwriter, who like many artists, is at times inspired by a member of the fairer sex, as the old phrase goes. There is someone I get to work with every so often, and to say she has piqued my interest is an understatement of the ...
A. 28 March 2016: An Easter basket to me is something an adult gives to a child, so to me its not romantic. I expect it would be seen more as a paternal gesture.
Of course if the basket had things like lingerie and jewelry that would indicate a different inte... (read in full...)
Should I propose to him? He has said in the past that he wouldn't mind.
Q. My BF of 3 yrs and I are travelling to California and Vegas in October and have decided to elope while there.. secretly! Anyway I know he's been looking been looking at engagement rings bur I also know he does not have the money for one ( he sta...
A. 28 March 2016: I'm a little confused by the question, if you've decided to elope, then aren't you technically engaged already? You've set a date and have a plan.
Wouldn't proposing again be redundant?
If the question is about getting an engagement ring, I guess ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has turned into a jerk since taking sick leave
Q. Hey everyone! My boyfriend is currently in a difficult situation - he is 41, a barman, and has been off work on sick leave since last August. He had an operation on his back in January and his sick leave ends in the middle of April, so basically he ...
A. 25 March 2016: You have become a caregiver, because of his circumstances. It’s a difficult job, stressful and often thankless.
You need to find your own support system, your family and friends are a good place to start. Then I would strongly recommend you find... (read in full...)
Breaking Up: What Am I Doing?
Q. Hello Everyone! So I'm going through a break up, after 6 long years together and everyone keeps asking me "How on earth are you doing this?" and "I can't believe how strong you're being" so I thought perhaps I could help you lot in some way. ...
A. 24 March 2016: Thanks, nice article! A good reminder to take care of yourself and not allow the ex to keep traction in your life.
... (read in full...)
I think all my experience in improving myself should be there for all to see, otherwise why even try. What do you think?
Q. 26 years of working for the same company and i am suddenly unemployed. Basically i dont know what to do, they paid redundancy but offered no help in regards to securing another job. While i may have work experience my job advisor keeps going on ...
A. 23 March 2016: Did you receive grades for the in-house courses or were you auditing them (in the U.S. this means sitting in on the lectures but no work needs to be handed in nor exams taken, basically no grade is given).
I don’t know how formal the CV you are putt... (read in full...)
How do you stop being an older virgin from beating down your confidence?
Q. As an older virgin, how do you not let it bother you? I tried improving myself and taking more interest in my hobbies. Focusing on interacting with as many people as I can. Downloaded dating apps to raise my confidence. I'm turning 23 and n...
A. 23 March 2016: Let me try to shift your perspective just a bit.
Say you were living with a guy who questioned your every move. He’d say things like “you’ll never get laid, you aren’t hot or sexy enough” and “even if you do get close enough to a woman, you’ll have... (read in full...)
How do you stop being an older virgin from beating down your confidence?
Q. As an older virgin, how do you not let it bother you? I tried improving myself and taking more interest in my hobbies. Focusing on interacting with as many people as I can. Downloaded dating apps to raise my confidence. I'm turning 23 and n...
A. 23 March 2016: Instead of thinking, “I’m going to lose her because I don’t know what I’m doing! I don’t have the practice! I’ll never satisfy her!”
Think instead, “Oh how fantastic! She’s so soft! I wonder how she likes this? Or that? Or maybe I could ask her what... (read in full...)
Why isn’t she wearing her bra in this instance?
Q. OK I don't mean to sound creepy or pervie, but what does it mean when my economics tutor at uni doesn't wear her bra when I was alone with her? Does she like me? Because during class in the morning I noticed her bra straps but later in the afternoon ...
A. 23 March 2016: I think it's more of a concerned adult worried about a poorly performing student.
OP you need to focus on studies. Flunking a test because of a breakup isn't good.
Are you going to flunk the next test because you are dreaming of teacher?... (read in full...)
Why isn’t she wearing her bra in this instance?
Q. OK I don't mean to sound creepy or pervie, but what does it mean when my economics tutor at uni doesn't wear her bra when I was alone with her? Does she like me? Because during class in the morning I noticed her bra straps but later in the afternoon ...
A. 22 March 2016: It means nothing whatsoever.
OP, she’s your economics tutor.
You’re reading way to much into bra/no bra, knowing name/not knowing name...
You are entering creepy stalker territory, time to exit. Take off the crush spectacles and focus on your stud... (read in full...)
Should I help my son financially?
Q. My son is 28, and has basically never worked. I'm soooo disappointed in him, I can't begin to say. He hasn't spoken to me in over a year.He doesn't respond to phone calls, emails, texts, or anything. He thinks I belittle him because when I was i...
A. 22 March 2016: I guess it depends on the source and the intention of the will of the person who bequeathed the money you are referring to in this particular question.....
I did read your previous question, and I agree that the money you’ve earned with your own ... (read in full...)
If I am to do so, how do I tell someone they have been creatively inspirational?
Q. I am a singer/songwriter, who like many artists, is at times inspired by a member of the fairer sex, as the old phrase goes. There is someone I get to work with every so often, and to say she has piqued my interest is an understatement of the ...
A. 22 March 2016: Ah well, at least you know you let her know that she was important to your creative process!
LIfe is so annoying.... it doesn’t follow the plans you’ve laid down for yourself. It’s quite saucy at ignoring your most heartfelt wishes and it’s down... (read in full...)
My wife refuses to accept my wish to be a woman.
Q. I would like to know why, my wife cannot understand that I want to be a woman. She see's me every day for the past 2 years dressed as a woman, she knows I pluck my eyebrows and have my ears pierced, she has even caught me more than once being with ...
A. 22 March 2016: “she has even caught me more than once being with men.”
So you are cheating on her?
Ok, if you can’t stay faithful and you know you are transgender then you need to respect that it’s going to be a struggle and an adjustment period for your wife.
I... (read in full...)
Can a man be too romantic? That's why my girlfriend broke up with me
Q. Hi,am thirty five,an my girlfriend just broke up with me,after six months,I treated her really good, she said the reason for breaking up with me is, am to romantic,am not a challenge, should I just move on,or try to win her back....
A. 22 March 2016: Hi, yes, I think you should just move on. There is an older gentleman here who has written about his courtship of women who do not appreciate all the gestures and romance he offers. He has written very similar questions to yours.
For one lady he w... (read in full...)
Why would a guy come back after turning him down for sex?
Q. I was talking to guy about 6 months ago who made it plain the first time around he only wanted a hook up through his actions. He didn't verbally tell me but his actions indicated that he just wanted to hook up. He brought up sex in our first ...
A. 22 March 2016: Why would he return?
Direct marketers know that they will only get 1 percent of customers to respond to their marketing, but if they keep trying, they will convert a small amount more. The financial and time investment is miniscule, per pote... (read in full...)
He wants my help obtaining a British passport renewal
Q. Hey Aunts, There is a guy I've been talking to on for 5 months. We get along quite well and he plans to come to our country for a visit this summer (his is part nationality here). We like each other, just not in-love and we talk on a variety of ...
A. 21 March 2016: I took a wild guess at his part nationality and chose “Turkey” as the country in which he’d be applying for a passport renewal. News flash. It’s done ONLINE.
https://www.gov.uk/overseas-passports/y/turkey/renewing_new/adult
Direct him to this sit... (read in full...)
He wants my help obtaining a British passport renewal
Q. Hey Aunts, There is a guy I've been talking to on for 5 months. We get along quite well and he plans to come to our country for a visit this summer (his is part nationality here). We like each other, just not in-love and we talk on a variety of ...
A. 21 March 2016: If he needs your bank details to “send cash” then he’s a scammer.
Sorry, you’re being played.
... (read in full...)
Sleeping with my teacher, what will happen ?
Q. Hello,so I will start by saying this isn't a sordid affair. I am 21 and have been at university for two years. (I started at 19, as I had a gap year) Anyway, I have been dating this guy (who is much older than me) since June 6th 2015, so nearly ...
A. 20 March 2016: I guess I have to ask, if it’s all hunky dory and okie dokie by the university powers-that-be, why does it have to be a secret?
There’s that old saying, “three can keep a secret if two of them are dead” which may apply here.
Eventuall... (read in full...)
Why? He hates when I become sexy and flirty with him.
Q. I'm normally like this but he seems to have a go at me when I've been drinking. He hates it. Like even if it's behind closed doors and only to him, he would hate when I dance for him sexily and strip so to speak. I don't drink much and never g...
A. 20 March 2016: It sounds like a really awful relationship that was based on mutual misunderstandings and failed expectations.
He wanted you to do X Y and Z. You wanted him to accept A B and C.
Nothing about this was going to end well.
What do you hope to get ... (read in full...)
Why is he not scared that I'll become pregnant?
Q. There's this guy that i am seeing that i had sex with on the third date, after that it has been once a week(everytime we meet). We have seen eachother for approximately 2-3 months. BUT, there is one thing i dont understand. He always comes inside o...
A. 20 March 2016: He doesn’t care if you become pregnant or not because he isn’t going to take care of any babies that he might be involved in making.
I expect he’s delighted he’s found someone who doesn’t care about her own personal health and well-being so much... (read in full...)
My roommate caught me with my pants down - literally
Q. I have two roommates. One male and the other female. Im close with both but am closer with my roommate who is a girl as we hangout more. We are strictly friends though as I assume she has no romantic feelings for me. I don't have feelings for her ...
A. 20 March 2016: Gosh you do seem to have found all sorts of quaint terms for masturbation.
Was your the door to your room open or closed?... (read in full...)
Are we banned from this theatre?
Q. Me and my boyfriend were in the movie theater and i sat on his lap and we made out. However, an employee walked by and he said its okay to do that. But he had told the manager and so when the manager got us, he said we were having sex. We were ...
A. 18 March 2016: Correction: if you *weren’t* cited at the time... (read in full...)
Are we banned from this theatre?
Q. Me and my boyfriend were in the movie theater and i sat on his lap and we made out. However, an employee walked by and he said its okay to do that. But he had told the manager and so when the manager got us, he said we were having sex. We were ...
A. 18 March 2016: I’m guessing that they wanted to teach you a lesson. They also wanted a record of you causing a disturbance at the theater so that if you caused a problem again, they could ban you.
If you were cited at the time it’s probably just a warning.
I exp... (read in full...)
Who should pay more?
Q. My bf and I are living together, and I just got a job. MY Mother was helping with the expenses until now. I will be making 25,000 a year which is 2,083 a month. And my bf makes 40,000 a year. He wants to split all the expenses in half, but I ...
A. 18 March 2016: Hi again, Midsummer, this is the negative and weird boyfriend from this post, http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-negative-and-weird-boyfriend-makes-me-wonder.html correct?
All this should have been sorted before you moved in together. How did that... (read in full...)
How do I deal with this girl whose nickname is my name?
Q. Hello. I met a girl this year at varsity she uses her nickname as my name. See, my parents gave me this cool name from birth and she liked the name before we met. Its a very rare name and it has many meanings in science. The problem is the girl ...
A. 17 March 2016: Take her by the hand, pat it gently, grasp her upper arm, above the elbow. Ask as quietly and gently as you can, “Is everything all right with you? You seem very fixated on this name thing. I’m concerned for you. Are you okay?”
Perhaps the poor thin... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's unrelentless questions about my past are causing so much trouble!
Q. My LDR boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and have always been honest about each others past as trust and being honest is the key to a stable relationship, right? I thought so. Before knowing my now boyfriend, I used to go to parti...
A. 17 March 2016: Male anon, it’s unreasonable of her boyfriend to carry on about this after one year of dating. Either accept it or move on. Continuing to bully her and argue about it is NOT reasonable. So yeah, she kissed another boy faster than she kissed him. So? ... (read in full...)
My negative and weird boyfriend makes me wonder if I could live my whole life with him
Q. My bf is so negative and downright weird. Like I know I have my own issuse that I'm dealing with a pyschologist, bt his shit is next level. Everytime he gets mad, he'll either insult me, break up with me or tell me he'll take the wii from me bec he ...
A. 17 March 2016: Hi Midsummer, I remember your previous posts, like CindyCares mentioned. The ones where you were wanting to hurry him up into moving in with you and then went on a 40 day trip with your mother right after you were supposed to start living ... (read in full...)
If I am to do so, how do I tell someone they have been creatively inspirational?
Q. I am a singer/songwriter, who like many artists, is at times inspired by a member of the fairer sex, as the old phrase goes. There is someone I get to work with every so often, and to say she has piqued my interest is an understatement of the ...
A. 17 March 2016: I think that text sounds fine. Obviously you know her well enough to have her phone number. Good luck with everything!
... (read in full...)
If I am to do so, how do I tell someone they have been creatively inspirational?
Q. I am a singer/songwriter, who like many artists, is at times inspired by a member of the fairer sex, as the old phrase goes. There is someone I get to work with every so often, and to say she has piqued my interest is an understatement of the ...
A. 15 March 2016: I think it might depend on the music too. If, for instance, in a hypothetical situation, there was a great deal of sexual imagery, well, that might be a problem if she feels uncomfortable with being identified with that song. Or if it were about ... (read in full...)
If I am to do so, how do I tell someone they have been creatively inspirational?
Q. I am a singer/songwriter, who like many artists, is at times inspired by a member of the fairer sex, as the old phrase goes. There is someone I get to work with every so often, and to say she has piqued my interest is an understatement of the ...
A. 15 March 2016: It seems you are working out the upsides and the downsides! Just check the employee handbook to be sure you aren’t crossing any lines or opening yourself up for harassment accusations if you’ve misread the situation.
Good luck!
Oh, and back in ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's unrelentless questions about my past are causing so much trouble!
Q. My LDR boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and have always been honest about each others past as trust and being honest is the key to a stable relationship, right? I thought so. Before knowing my now boyfriend, I used to go to parti...
A. 15 March 2016: He’s annoyed somewhat, or he’s having uncontrollable images playing in his head? Those are two different ends of a spectrum.
So you met him online, chatted for a while, then decided to meet in person.
I think these are your key points about hi... (read in full...)
If I am to do so, how do I tell someone they have been creatively inspirational?
Q. I am a singer/songwriter, who like many artists, is at times inspired by a member of the fairer sex, as the old phrase goes. There is someone I get to work with every so often, and to say she has piqued my interest is an understatement of the ...
A. 15 March 2016: Well, there doesn’t seem to be any impediment to telling her she’s been a muse of sorts to you, other than a bit of ego, or your fear of freaking her out. It will be up to you to weigh the pros and cons of telling her. Does the need to let her you ... (read in full...)
If I am to do so, how do I tell someone they have been creatively inspirational?
Q. I am a singer/songwriter, who like many artists, is at times inspired by a member of the fairer sex, as the old phrase goes. There is someone I get to work with every so often, and to say she has piqued my interest is an understatement of the ...
A. 14 March 2016: I don’t think you are crazy for wanting to do this.
As for how to tell her this without freaking her out, well, we don’t know anything about her beyond that you are older than she is; or, not to be ageist, you might be younger than she is. Is she ... (read in full...)
Why? He hates when I become sexy and flirty with him.
Q. I'm normally like this but he seems to have a go at me when I've been drinking. He hates it. Like even if it's behind closed doors and only to him, he would hate when I dance for him sexily and strip so to speak. I don't drink much and never g...
A. 14 March 2016: You and he were not compatible. He obviously has his set of expectations of how a girlfriend is supposed to comport herself and act around him and others and and you obviously have your set of expectations of how a boyfriend is supposed to comport ... (read in full...)
Why? He hates when I become sexy and flirty with him.
Q. I'm normally like this but he seems to have a go at me when I've been drinking. He hates it. Like even if it's behind closed doors and only to him, he would hate when I dance for him sexily and strip so to speak. I don't drink much and never g...
A. 14 March 2016: Is this the ex again, Stephanie?... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's unrelentless questions about my past are causing so much trouble!
Q. My LDR boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and have always been honest about each others past as trust and being honest is the key to a stable relationship, right? I thought so. Before knowing my now boyfriend, I used to go to parti...
A. 14 March 2016: There’s a difference between being a bit sad that you weren’t your girlfriend’s first kiss (at age 18, though? Really?) and having uninterrupted obsessive thoughts or images run through your mind, interrupt your sleeping patterns.
How old is this... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's unrelentless questions about my past are causing so much trouble!
Q. My LDR boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and have always been honest about each others past as trust and being honest is the key to a stable relationship, right? I thought so. Before knowing my now boyfriend, I used to go to parti...
A. 11 March 2016: Get out now. While you can.
Your LDR boyfriend has a retroactive jealousy issue. You’ve kissed 4 men and he is creating images in his mind...
You won’t be able to fix this for him; nothing you can say will change this.
He’s not being reasonable. ... (read in full...)
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