My Ex is Ruining Things Between Us
Q. dear cupid, my story starts in 2002 i met what i thought would be my future wife, within six months we had moved in together and was happy when we planned a pregnancy and she gave birth to my little boy!! i was so happy but soon after sh...
A. 7 July 2008: What a nightmare! Know where you are coming from, as 14 yrs ago, me and my kids dad (who i am no longer with) had a similar problem to you and your new girlfriend.
I was actually pregnant with our first child back then. His ex who had treated him ... (read in full...)
What does my ex mean when he says to keep our relationship friendly?
Q. What does my ex mean? I cut off all communication with my ex seven months ago by changing my phone number and telling me to never contact me again. He still emails me once in a while but I have never responded. I broke up with him because he was ...
A. 7 July 2008: I agree with the anon poster in here.
Pushing buttons is the exact word i would use.
I too have an ex that sounds very familiar to yours.
Stand your ground. Whats probably happened here is he has just split from someone he was seeing, and wants to... (read in full...)
Is there any chance of getting pregnant on your period?
Q. Hello, I have been wondering lately, if there would be any possiblity of geting pregnant on your period. Because last weekend my boyfriend came inside me. But he told me not to worry because i cant get pregnant on my period. He said theres like a o...
A. 3 July 2008: Theres a chance yes. Its not as much chance as during mid cycle, but none the less there is still a chance there. You will have to wait until your next period is due before you know for sure. You're too far past the time to even take the morning ... (read in full...)
Is my drinking, lying boyfriend using me?
Q. Hi, i'm with my boyfriend 2 years. He is very jelous and controlling. He doesn't let me go to the pub with my girlfriend, he ask all the time where i was what i do, callind all the time to check. he likes drink and argue with me to have excuse to go ...
A. 29 June 2008: Probably best to get out of that one. Ive got a friend at the moments whos other half does coke and waccy baccy everyday, whilst she cleans his house and waits on him hand n foot. Shouts at her, making her feel a foot tall. And i think now she might ... (read in full...)
We are having a break and have agreed to dating other people, is my BF using me?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and half. We have had a rocky relationship but lately things have been going well. The other day he suggested that we 'take a break'. He said he needs his freedom because our relationship is like a ...
A. 28 June 2008: I guess atleast he's been honest and not just gone right ahead and slept with other people behind your back! But i would feel like you, that if you love someone, you wouldnt WANT to sleep with other people.
If you can see him doing that, then get ... (read in full...)
Very worried about his health! My BF's always only eaten junk food.
Q. I love my boyfriend of nearly 3 years dearly, but i am becoming very worried about his health. Since ive known him, he has always only eaten junk food. Even before we met, he had always eaten junk food and nothing else- he is 27 now- and im worre...
A. 28 June 2008: Hi
I have a 13 yr old son pretty much the same! But your guy is 27, what you want his mum to do? Force feed him???? I hate the fact my son eats rubbish (he does eat bananas and apples though) But its not that as mum's we dont worry or care, we do. ... (read in full...)
She led me on and then completely broke my heart, and It still hurts like hell!
Q. I'm hoping someone can help me to get a better understanding of what's happened to me recently. I was seeing a lovely girl for three weeks. It was only a short fling, but she was very keen and things got quite intense quickly, mainly because she ...
A. 27 June 2008: Hi
Not really no, apart from i agree with you, and think it sounds like she has commitment issues. Which do present themselves in the exact way you have described, happy as Larry to start, then when they notice themselves getting keen, they draw... (read in full...)
She seems clingy! So I am questioning whether I truely love her?? Any advice?
Q. Hi, I have lived with my girlfriend for nearly 1 year now having moved in with her after about 4 months although this feels alot longer as I have spent more or less every day with her. Ever since I've moved in she seems to want to spend every minu...
A. 26 June 2008: Hi
I dont mean this horrible, but you dont sound ready for full on commitment to me yet, but i accept i could be wrong. Although i dont think you should be giving up all your hobbies because she doesn't like them, i think compromise is good. Why ... (read in full...)
Is he an excessive drinker?
Q. Hello all, i am new to this site and hope you can help me! I have been seeing a lovely guy for 6 months now after splitting up with my ex of 16 years. He works away but when he is working locally or between jobs he lives with me. My problem ...
A. 26 June 2008: Hes a bit laddish isn't he?
Its certainly not normal. Not when you're in a relationship anyway. Usually thats the single life. But ultimately, that may just be the sort of person he is, a pub bloke. I wouldn't want to date one, so i wouldn't. I agre... (read in full...)
Has anyone else lost their sex drive? how can I get it back?
Q. I am 39 year old mom who has been married 15 years and have 4 children. Ok, here is my thing, I am totally turned off by sex. It totally grosses me out and I have no sex drive whatsoever. So the reality of it is that we have no sex life at all. ...
A. 26 June 2008: Nope, i could take it or leave it these days, and am more than happy to leave it, but its easy for me, i am single lol
I'm not too sure what you can do to sort it, maybe go to your docs and see if its a hormone thing going on?
C xxxx... (read in full...)
When should I tell my ex that I'm seeing someone new?
Q. I left my boyfriend of 3 years for another guy, who I am now extremely happy with, but I never told my ex about the other guy (from the advice of others telling me it was more than he needed to know)... Thing is, its been 2 weeks and I know he isn't ...
A. 26 June 2008: Personally i would avoid telling him you met someone before you split with him. You've ended it with him, theres no need to rub salt into the wounds. I agree with your friends there.
Wait a bit longer, then let him know you have started seeing some... (read in full...)
Can I get back with my ex by just being friends at the moment?
Q. Is it possible for be to get back with my ex? We didnt leave it on bad terms and i have seen her a few times since we split up. But i know she wasnt happy the way the relationship was and she said she just wasnt been herself and felt so sad. We ...
A. 26 June 2008: Thats quite sad. But i guess if you want to stay friends, and you can keep it at that in your own head, then its worth a go.
But i know where your ex is coming from. I split with someone. I didn't like the person the relationship had made me beco... (read in full...)
When should I have my first pap smear?
Q. I just need some clarification about when you should have your first pap smear. I found on a web site that it says: "All women who have ever had sexual contact should commence having Pap smears between the ages of 18 - 20, or within two years ...
A. 25 June 2008: Here, they write to us when its due. I think it varies all over the country though to be honest. My sister is 2 hours away from me and she is recommended 5 yearly. My area is 3.
Mine is suppose to be yearly because of my history, and ive been thre... (read in full...)
When should I have my first pap smear?
Q. I just need some clarification about when you should have your first pap smear. I found on a web site that it says: "All women who have ever had sexual contact should commence having Pap smears between the ages of 18 - 20, or within two years ...
A. 25 June 2008: I thought it was every 3-5 yrs here in the Uk?
I had my first at 21, 5 yrs after losing my virginity, and it was abnormal. I ended up having loop diathermy in London Chelsea and Westminster hospital for women. Ive been fine ever since, but i did ... (read in full...)
My BF makes it sound that every problem we have is my fault. How to make him understand how I am feeling without him threatening to break up or blaming me?
Q. Okay this may be a long post but I need some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months now and have put so much into our relationship and trying to make things work here lately but I feel like its a waste of emotion and time. My boyfriend ...
A. 23 June 2008: I'm retracting my original statements, its apparent that you and your guy are very well suited, although people can be too similar sometimes.
Some of your comments..
[quote] I want nothing more than my relationship to work out between us but he's... (read in full...)
Changes after the first sexual contact?
Q. After you have sex for the first time, do you keep wanting it more afterwords? I don't want it to affect my decisions, and I don't want to hurt anyone by doing it with them too early. So, how does doing it once change you? Sorry if I wasn't clear ...
A. 22 June 2008: Well they say if you dont use it you lose it. So i guess the opposite could be true!
C xxxxxx... (read in full...)
My BF makes it sound that every problem we have is my fault. How to make him understand how I am feeling without him threatening to break up or blaming me?
Q. Okay this may be a long post but I need some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months now and have put so much into our relationship and trying to make things work here lately but I feel like its a waste of emotion and time. My boyfriend ...
A. 22 June 2008: Ewwww that was just my ex to a t you described there lol
Never took responsibility for anything (and that was things that even i wasn't involved in, ie..his financial and occupational mess) everything was out of his hands and someone elses faul... (read in full...)
My BF makes it sound that every problem we have is my fault. How to make him understand how I am feeling without him threatening to break up or blaming me?
Q. Okay this may be a long post but I need some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months now and have put so much into our relationship and trying to make things work here lately but I feel like its a waste of emotion and time. My boyfriend ...
A. 22 June 2008: This is interesting!
http://www.sedonapsychicreading.com/narcissism-energyvampires.php... (read in full...)
My BF makes it sound that every problem we have is my fault. How to make him understand how I am feeling without him threatening to break up or blaming me?
Q. Okay this may be a long post but I need some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months now and have put so much into our relationship and trying to make things work here lately but I feel like its a waste of emotion and time. My boyfriend ...
A. 22 June 2008: Hi Askoldersister.
Do narcassists know what they are doing? Or are they completely right in their minds and everyone else is wrong? Fascinates me that disorder, heard lots about it, but thats one thing i dont know about it.
Going to go and look it ... (read in full...)
My BF makes it sound that every problem we have is my fault. How to make him understand how I am feeling without him threatening to break up or blaming me?
Q. Okay this may be a long post but I need some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months now and have put so much into our relationship and trying to make things work here lately but I feel like its a waste of emotion and time. My boyfriend ...
A. 22 June 2008: Sounds like you have a compulsive liar on your hands to me. They even convince themselves they are nice people. And to the outside world and even their own family, they are. Narcissists i think they are called. Its a personality disorder. And it ... (read in full...)
Pregnancy problems.
Q. im trying to get pregnant now for quite some time. i ovulated from 5/4 to 5/7/2008 and i had sex on 5/2 and 5/5 and 5/7 im experience light stomache cramps and dark nipples are these signs of pregnancy? i did both blood and urine tests on 5/13/200...
A. 22 June 2008: Yay!!! congrats! thats brilliant news.
C xxxxx... (read in full...)
Wrist injury. Anyone had one and can advise me?
Q. Grrrrrr not a relationship question, but i wonder if anyone can help. I punched someone in self defence about 5 or 6 weeks ago. Wish i hadn't now because its done me no good!Woke the next day with a painful wrist. Thought its probably a sprain s...
A. 21 June 2008: I bottled it and went to the chemist and paid a tenner and bought a wrist splint. To be honest, its been great. Its taken the pain away. Keeps the wrist in the right place. So even if it was fractured, thats all they would of done anyway. Apparently ... (read in full...)
Negative pregnancy tests, but odd symptoms. Ideas?
Q. Hey, around 4/5 weeks ago i had unprotected sex and i am now 2 weeks and 2 days late for my period. This is pretty strange as i have had regular periods since the age of 13. Ive noticed changes, like, all of a sudden i've got loads of spots and a ...
A. 21 June 2008: Hmmm strange. Although you can get a false negative. You dont get false positives. I would go to the docs if i was you, and have them test you.
c xxxxxxx... (read in full...)
I want to be able to tell him 'no' how can I do this - I don't want him back in my life!!!
Q. okay, i recently got back with my ex who i dated on and off since august...we reached a point in december when we quit talking so 6 months later he contacts me wanting to talk, I was so happy without him but somehow he suckers me into talking to him ...
A. 16 June 2008: Literally just say no! Just like a reformed alcoholic would or an ex drug taker. If you haven't done something for a while and are ticking along nicely, you dont suddenly decide to do something again just because someone offers it?
The guy is a mani... (read in full...)
Not sure I want children, will I regret this?
Q. Evening everyone. I come from a large Italian family and Im due to marry my fiance who is also Italian in October. My problem is that im not sure I want children. I have discussed this with my fiance and he is convinced that in a few years I will...
A. 15 June 2008: I think you're sensible! hehe no seriously though, i know a few people that haven't had children, and never will, and they are happy as larry!
Your family probably isn't wrong. Ive also known people that didn't plan on having them, yet did, and love... (read in full...)
He broke up with me, now I feel like sleeping around a lot, why?
Q. hi . my boyfriend recently broke up with me, and now i feel like sleeping around a bit with different guys. i know its slutty and i don't want to do it, but i'm sooooo lonely and miss the physical contact :( what should i do ?...
A. 14 June 2008: Because the like it!
And the other reason is because they confuse sex with companionship and love.
C xxxxx... (read in full...)
He broke up with me, now I feel like sleeping around a lot, why?
Q. hi . my boyfriend recently broke up with me, and now i feel like sleeping around a bit with different guys. i know its slutty and i don't want to do it, but i'm sooooo lonely and miss the physical contact :( what should i do ?...
A. 13 June 2008: Thats probably because you feel you need a confidence boost after your ex finished it. But just because a guy sleeps with you, doesn't mean they 'like' you and think you're great. Harsh but true i'm afraid. Guys and girls will sleep with people just ... (read in full...)
My little boy aged 8 brought a card home from school for fathers day,the thing is his father does not want to know him
Q. i recently split with my boyfriend whom i love dearly,but i have been working hard and moving on with my life without him and i have been doing ok until today that is when my little boy aged 8 brought a card home from school for fathers day,the ...
A. 13 June 2008: This is one of the reasons i dont think making fathers or mothers day/ xmas day cards at school is a wise move.
Its a thing that families should tackle, not schools. For lots of obvious reasons, not just this one.
I have no idea at all how you tack... (read in full...)
My brother is slowly destroying our family with drugs...
Q. I feel so sorry for my mum. My brother is 26 going on 16, and is addicted to cocaine. He has gone through periods when he gets off it, but ends up back there. Our mum is adorable, but she is soft. She has spent all his life spending on him. He ...
A. 13 June 2008: Thanks everyone for your responses. My mum went to the doctors this morning and she has got Roseacha, ive probably spelt that wrong. A red rash that affects the skin and eyes. Brought on by stress. The saddest part also is she lives with a guy, and ... (read in full...)
My heart says to me I should try one more time with my wife, though I know I will miss my girlfriend terribly! An extremely difficult choice!
Q. I am married. I have been for 8 years. I lived with my wife for 6 years before that. We were very much in love and we still do love each other, but in 2006 I had an affair with a girl. It didn't last long and then I went on a long trip for two mont...
A. 12 June 2008: Hi
But you cant possibly make a proper go of it with your wife again, if the girlfriend is still on the scene?
What a nightmare.
Let us know how you get on. This is something you need to decide on yourself.
I couldn't possibly say anymore than... (read in full...)
We split up for a month and are trying again. Problem is he slept with another girl during the split!
Q. hiya, ive been with danny for over 2 years, we have had a real bad time but always comme through. the last couple of months we were arguing alot and then we split up for a month. last week we bumped into each other and on a good note decided to give ...
A. 10 June 2008: Hi
Good question. Officially, you had split, so its not like he cheated. But 2 things would have me wondering, 1: The fact he lied about it and 2: The fact he forgot you quick enough to move on into someones bed, after i pressume, telling you he l... (read in full...)
Is it ever a good idea to get back in touch with an ex after a bad breakup?
Q. I've just opened a door that I'm not entirely sure I want to step through. To fully explain, it requires a bit of a back story, so... please bare with me. About a year ago, I dated a guy that I truly believed was "the one." We had so much in...
A. 10 June 2008: Is it possible to have a successful friendship with an ex? I think so, but only if none of you have any romantic/sexual interest at all.
Is it possible to rekindle a relationship that ended badly? Rarely. I had a similar thing, where lies w... (read in full...)
We just have sex. Why can't I say no?
Q. Sorry this is kinda long but i really need some advice and please no rude answers!! There is this guy who I lost my virginity to. he's 21 and I'm 18, we're both in college. we have a lot in common and he said that he liked me but just got out of a ...
A. 4 June 2008: Cool idea Tisha! I'm liking that! lol
xxx... (read in full...)
We just have sex. Why can't I say no?
Q. Sorry this is kinda long but i really need some advice and please no rude answers!! There is this guy who I lost my virginity to. he's 21 and I'm 18, we're both in college. we have a lot in common and he said that he liked me but just got out of a ...
A. 4 June 2008: Because your self esteem is too low to.
(don't get me wrong he didn't sweet talk or anything, it was mostly my choice). ...
My god the guy has played a blinder! What school of tricks did he attend????
If you really want to see if its not just the... (read in full...)
How do I deal with his ex-terminator? Should I face her or let him do it, eventually?
Q. My bf was in a relationship for 7 years with a girl. They have been broken up for about a year now and we have been dating for 7months. She is still a very big part of his life and has managed to scare off most girls he has tried to date after her. ...
A. 4 June 2008: I bet it wasn't hard to ruin any relationship he tried to have after they split, if you have been together 7 months that means he was out there on the hunt for someone else within 5 months? Not normally enough time to learn from the split and get to ... (read in full...)
Confused about money morals....
Q. Hello I dont know how to tell you my problem but here it comes, my new boyfriend of 6 weeks earns £30,000 more than me a year, as i earn alot less than him i cant afford to have beauty treatments or have my hair done when it needs to be done, my b...
A. 31 May 2008: I know where you're coming from. I think ive actually reached the stage where i cant even afford a boyfriend! I dont like taking anything off anyone, always pay my way, but realistically now, i cant afford halves on meals, take aways, nights out, ... (read in full...)
My girl has double standards - how can I make this better?
Q. I love my girlfriend but i guess she feels like she has to lie to me about things. Like I use to smoke weed and when i meet her she said that if we were going to date that i would have to quit well I did cold turkey. I had no problem stopping she ...
A. 31 May 2008: I'm inclined to agree that its normal to share things with each other, and say where your off out to, just because you should want to. Their are certains ways we all need to behave when in a relationship, and it doesn't sound like she's managing ... (read in full...)
If a relationship shows signs of sexual abuse, and controlling tendencies as early as 2 months, will it only get worse?
Q. If a relationship shows signs of sexual abuse, and controlling tendencies, as early within the first 2 months, does that mean it will only get worst??? is it best to end the relationship now before it gets to bad? ...
A. 30 May 2008: If a relationship shows signs of sexual abuse, and controlling tendencies as early as 2 months, will it only get worse?
Yes.
C xxxxx
... (read in full...)
I'm having trouble trusting him completely after he cheated. I know he's been in contact with her because I snooped! What should I do?
Q. ive been with my b/f for bout 7 years. he cheated on me 3 years ago, i found out we broke up and got back together. ive been trying so hard to trust him again but just cant do it completely. i check his emails and he doesnt know this, i feel bad but ...
A. 30 May 2008: Your punishing yourself yes.
Hes lying to you, is having his cake and eating it, and to a certain extent you're fine with that? why?... (read in full...)
Why can't I stay away from this woman that keeps making up then breaking up? Why am I in this childish relationship?...
Q. What a mess I have made of my life. I met the woman of my dreams 10 months ago. Tall, beautiful, funny, sexy, great career, an absolute dream. Things were amazing immediately. The chemistry was out of this world. After a few months of dating we ...
A. 30 May 2008: How awful! You have fallen in love with a fruit loop! Seriously though, i think you might have.
You also seem to have got used to a rollercoaster relationship, almost as if you are addicted to the breaking up, getting back together, breaking up, ... (read in full...)
How do I avoid getting sucked back into the snake-pit?!
Q. Dear Cupid, Just yesterday I broke up with my ex. It seems to have been a long time coming. We always (Me ending it) broke up.. over stupid little fights. All the time! But then he would not leave me alone for a few days and i would cave. He was t...
A. 30 May 2008: Hi
Just keep telling yourself, you have a choice. Its not all about him. What he does is, he manipulates you because he knows he can. Then you're back in his web.
Usually it will be low self asteem that leaves us open to abuse. You can change t... (read in full...)
Pregnancy problems.
Q. im trying to get pregnant now for quite some time. i ovulated from 5/4 to 5/7/2008 and i had sex on 5/2 and 5/5 and 5/7 im experience light stomache cramps and dark nipples are these signs of pregnancy? i did both blood and urine tests on 5/13/200...
A. 18 May 2008: Hi
You're certainly trying at the right times, so fingers crossed is all you can do! Might be a bit soon to test yet, so sit tight and wait longer. Atleast til the day you are due.
C xxxxx... (read in full...)
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