I told this man I love him....how can I realistically retract what I said?
Q. Having just returned from France I met a nice english man and we were jsut friends,but because I have lost so much in my life and was bought up in an orphanage etc (NOT feeling sorry for myself just telling the truth) I did a stupid thing and told ...
A. 2 July 2008: I agree that you should be honest and tell him exactly how you feel, that your friendship is very valuable to you and that you wish you two would be able to go back to what you had, but I don't think you must retract what you said. Why would that ... (read in full...)
Wrist injury. Anyone had one and can advise me?
Q. Grrrrrr not a relationship question, but i wonder if anyone can help. I punched someone in self defence about 5 or 6 weeks ago. Wish i hadn't now because its done me no good!Woke the next day with a painful wrist. Thought its probably a sprain s...
A. 18 June 2008: I also guess it might be broken, or gotten a damaged ligament. Especially since it rather gets worse over the days than better. Until you get to a doctor's office, you could wrap an elastic bandage around, not too tight, but enough to keep the ... (read in full...)
Is it bad to keep painting and repainting your nails?!?
Q. Hey everyone I don't know if any of you will know the answer to this question but every question I have asked so far has been answered so maybe I'll get lucky and someone will know this one I like to paint my nails alot and I like to change ...
A. 8 June 2008: It depends on the quality of your nail, I guess. My nails use to crack up a little if I've used nail polish for a longer time, like they can sometimes do when using fake nails. Then I just cut them down and let them rest a couple of weeks without ... (read in full...)
He thinks my sisters picture is me - Help!
Q. Hello, I'm a 24 year old female who has had a rough life I've been using my sisters pictures as passing them off that that's me for about a year now. She knows about it and thought it was funny. Now I've met a great guy who I'm totally in love ...
A. 8 June 2008: I agree with rcn, just be honest. It is not strange to hide certain things about oneself when online dating, it is quite normal. What is important now is that you like this guy. If he would be terribly offended by the fact you hid some facts about ... (read in full...)
How long to wait for him to change?
Q. HI, I am a 20 year old in love with a 26 year old guy. We have been together since the last 2 years. From the beginning it has been like our relationship started by him telling me that dont expect any commitments of marriage. This is my first...
A. 8 June 2008: Hi,
I'm sorry to say this but it has been 2 years, which is a long time for you, and I don't think it is very likely he would wake up one morning and be someone else, someone loving caring person.
I don't think it is anything wrong with you, ... (read in full...)
I think I bothered him to much with all my texting!
Q. I was dating my boyfriend for 4 months and everything was going good. He was txt`n me multiple times a day, every day. I was in no doubt that this guy was `into me`. He lived about 50 miles from me, and i don`t drive, so he was alwyas coming to see ...
A. 8 June 2008: Hi,
I think your gut feelings here are right. Something IS strange about his behaviour towards you. It doesn't have to mean that he really is married and is hiding a wife and kids from you, but it is definitely something that is bothering him and ... (read in full...)
My ex led me on, and now he tells me that he was just teasing me! I'm very hurt...
Q. Hello all agony aunts I need some help in the current situation I'm in, my ex of almost a year who has a girlfriend (his ex) has now lead me on twice. The first time was back in feburary in which he almost kissed me and told me the old feelings have ...
A. 3 June 2008: Oh, this hurt reading about. My advice would be to never trust him again, to never go there again whatever he says to you. I know it is hard if you still have feelings for him, but he doesn't seem stable and doesn't seem to know what he is doing and ... (read in full...)
I took his socks, is it really selfish???
Q. Me and my husband went snowboarding, my feet were very cold, and i stayed in the snow a little longer, than they got to a point that i couldnt feel them any longer so i decided to go put on some more socks on to see if that would help, i notified my ...
A. 3 June 2008: It wasn't selfish, you were cold and you needed them and he didn't then. To freeze numb because he wasn't around to ask just then, THAT would have been silly. He is your husband, what happened to "in better and worse"?
I agree with Deema, it must ... (read in full...)
SITE VIDEO: April 2008 video from Andrew
Q. Been a while since we had a video update. Anyone interested in being able to post their replies to the site as YouTube videos??...
A. 26 April 2008: Hey,
Yes, you are really very cute!
Good idea for the brave ones on here. I also very much like the watched questions-list you've made. I have missed that kind of function before, thanks a lot.
-O
p.s. had to listen through your video... (read in full...)
Humanity - the other white meat
Q. It has to be said that my time on DearCupid.com has been...Colourful to say the least. Stories of incest,gay incest, lesbian incest, nasel sex, using plastic wrap as a condom, minors and their conquest to destory someones marriage,long di...
A. 13 April 2008: I completely agree with you that to open up and start takling is the best way of spreading knowledge and being able to learn from the experince of others. That is why I seem not to be able to stay away from this site. And all the people that has ... (read in full...)
Please help! I don't want to lose him.
Q. I have had sex with my ex-boyfriend but not intercourse. Sometimes in his room sometimes in mines. We have done it at least 21 times. Once he tried to f*** me but due to pain I was not able to do it. We seperated after 3 years of long relation...
A. 20 March 2008: Hi,
I understand your problem and how afraid you must be that your first boyfriend might tell people things about you. It seems that if he would want to, he could really hurt you. I wish I could tell you something that would make you feel strong a... (read in full...)
Will he react the same as before?
Q. I'm pregnant. He is not my boyfriend, we used to date, he is 29 yrs older than me. He got me pregnant before and he convinced me to have an abortion, he said we could have probably babies in the future but not at that time. I haven't told him yet ...
A. 13 March 2008: Hi,
I'm so sorry, here comes a virtual *hug*. Is there any councellor at the clinic who you can talk to about how you feel?
Don't feel guilty, you have given this a lot of thoughts and came to the conclusion this is what was best for you and... (read in full...)
Have a proposal from another girl but I am still not over my ex! What do I do?
Q. we were in love for 3 years. we knew each other very well and our families too were well aware of the affair.. We got engaged in may 07 and 4 months before our marriage[supposed to take place in Nov07] she backed out from the marriage since she ...
A. 24 February 2008: Would it have been impossible for her to persue her higher education as a married woman? I understand that she wants to do that and if you wouldn't have a problem with it she could still have done it, right? I'm asking this because it seems to me ... (read in full...)
I continued writing to him, yet he did not answer, what could he be thinking?
Q. hi all i posted yesterday but am telling you how it continued, because im so confused. ive been with my husband for 13 years we have children together. ive felt for years that things have been very one sided and that i wasnt respected so nearly a ...
A. 24 February 2008: Hi,
I don't think it should have been too scary for him to get a valentine text from you. It wasn't silly of you to text him to try and tell him how you think and feel, it is silly of him though, to not tell you what is on his mind. If he does... (read in full...)
He said he didn't like me, but keeps looking at me...
Q. i sent this new guy on my bus a note saying i liked him but he cheked that he didnt like me. but he also keeps looking at me. does this mean he still likes me? if he does y would he do that?...
A. 21 February 2008: I think you should think again about talking with anybody who says anything like that to you. Probably he is just an immature little boy who has no idea what he is saying, but anyway, if someone says anything like that to you again you should either ... (read in full...)
After how many dates should you discuss your relationship?
Q. If you go on a few dates with someone new, and see them alot during the week, talk on the phone, go over each other's houses etc - would you be bf/gf? I was wondering, what is the usual amount of time before you should start assuming you are...
A. 18 February 2008: Hi,
The exact same thing happened to me. I have since then thought a lot of this, like how do you really know that someone really likes you even though it seems very much like it. I think it is impossible to say and one reason is that so many thin... (read in full...)
Do I have a chance with him? I'm scared of getting hurt
Q. i'm 18 he's 24. we go to college together and ever since i met him this fall i thought there was something about him. a couple weeks before winter break he started doing simple things and being a sweetie like playing with my hair, leaving all our ...
A. 16 February 2008: I'm sorry it didn't turn out the way you wished. But at least now you got an explanation and know it is not because of you but because of recent problems in his past.
It seems to me that either he really does like you a lot or he just want the... (read in full...)
Whose problem is it, that cheating happened without one of the involved parties knowing the other was committed?
Q. So I slept with my ex again, and it just so happens it was her first night back in town after break from school. We were at a party and she invited me to her house..... After a couple of days I texted her just to see what she was up to, having not ...
A. 2 February 2008: It is her problem. She was cheating, not you. I can imagine though it must have felt strange to find this out since sleeping with an ex give special emotions, different from the ones you have with a new person. If this happened to me I think I would ... (read in full...)
I don't want to break her heart, how do I let her down gently?
Q. What do I say when a girl says that she likes me but I like someone else? I don't want to break her heart. What should I do?...
A. 2 February 2008: You tell her that she is a good girl but you are already fallen in love with someone else. If she really likes you a lot she might be sad for some time, that's part of life, but I doubt that you will brake her heart. Not if you haven't dated for ... (read in full...)
Do I have a chance with him? I'm scared of getting hurt
Q. i'm 18 he's 24. we go to college together and ever since i met him this fall i thought there was something about him. a couple weeks before winter break he started doing simple things and being a sweetie like playing with my hair, leaving all our ...
A. 20 January 2008: I understand you must feel somewhat confused now. After what you’ve written I would definitely say you are right at least in your interpretation nr 1, he really does seem to like your company a lot and miss you when you’re gone. I would also have ... (read in full...)
How early can I take a pregnancy test? Do I HAVE to wait until my next period?
Q. Hi. On Friday night I had unprotected sex, which I know was stupid and everything, but now I'm worried I could be pregnant. I was just wondering whats the earliest I could possibly take the test?? I'd only just come off my period when we did it, ...
A. 15 January 2008: Just wanted to say, since it came up in a previous answer, that the morning after pill is not aborting. It postpones the ovulation and thus works to prevent the pregnancy, not to terminate it. If you are pregnant when you take the pill, it won't ... (read in full...)
How early can I take a pregnancy test? Do I HAVE to wait until my next period?
Q. Hi. On Friday night I had unprotected sex, which I know was stupid and everything, but now I'm worried I could be pregnant. I was just wondering whats the earliest I could possibly take the test?? I'd only just come off my period when we did it, ...
A. 14 January 2008: Yes, you have to wait until your next period is supposed to come for the home tests to work. Or at least to give a reliable answer. If you take it now and it says you are not pregnant you can still be, so it won't ease your worries one bit anyway, ... (read in full...)
Could I still be pregant even though the tests come back negative??
Q. I think that i'm pregnant. I have all the symptoms my period is almost 3 and half months late a had a few drops of blood one day but not enough to be a period. In the morning i am so nauseous i cant even look at food i used to love because it makes...
A. 13 January 2008: If a test says you ARE pregnant, then you are; if it says you're not, there is always a chance it is not showing right. The worries you have can cause and increase the symptoms you have, but this is too serious to not go back again to the doctor's ... (read in full...)
How do you go from having a great relationship to backing off??
Q. So to make this question short enough that people won't stop reading, I'll start like this. I've met this wonderful girl who I'm falling in love with. We have a great deal in common and find that everyday, we find something new in common. Heck, ou...
A. 13 January 2008: I think that at first these jokes were only just jokes to her, now she has realized you actually mean it and it has only gone 7 weeks. I think you are right that she needs some space now to think what she wants. If things go too fast in the ... (read in full...)
Does a bigger Penis mean better sex?
Q. I can't stave off something that has made me massively insecure and jealous. My girlfriend of 3 and a half years recently broke up with me for another guy. It was the worst experience of my life, literally :( but it's been 4 months since then and ...
A. 10 January 2008: Well, if all she enjoys in sex is the penis and penetration she might think so, but in such a case it sounds like she is not having much fun anyway. I can of course not speak for all girls here, but I would say that there are too many other ... (read in full...)
30 and pregnant, my bf does not agree to keep the baby, but my mother says it is my last chance to have a child, so what should I do?
Q. im 30. im pregnant but my bf says he doesn't want a baby. i told my mum and she said that it's my last chance to have 1. Is my mum right and what should I do?...
A. 10 January 2008: After knowing each others for such long time I think you have the right to demand a proper answer from him about the baby, why he doesn't want it. You shouldn't have to guess here. It would be interesting to know if he ever wants a child or if it is ... (read in full...)
Will he react the same as before?
Q. I'm pregnant. He is not my boyfriend, we used to date, he is 29 yrs older than me. He got me pregnant before and he convinced me to have an abortion, he said we could have probably babies in the future but not at that time. I haven't told him yet ...
A. 6 January 2008: I think you should do what YOU feel like and not what he says you should or shouldn't do. I think you deserve a much better man in your life, but if you want to keep this baby, then you should. I think Laurzie gave an excellent advice to talk to a ... (read in full...)
This girl is notorious on chasing after other girls boyfriends, and now she is after mine! What do I do to make her back off?
Q. I have some friends that I've had since elementary school (we are all in our 2nd year of university now). One of them has over the years turned into a bit of a party girl, and she's notorious for sleeping with other girls boyfriends. I'll call her ...
A. 6 January 2008: This girl is probably feeling really bad, she doesn't have any real self-respect as it seems, and probably she has gone through some really bad things. I don't think it is possible for you to get through to her and make her back off. She will only ... (read in full...)
30 and pregnant, my bf does not agree to keep the baby, but my mother says it is my last chance to have a child, so what should I do?
Q. im 30. im pregnant but my bf says he doesn't want a baby. i told my mum and she said that it's my last chance to have 1. Is my mum right and what should I do?...
A. 6 January 2008: It is not necessarily true it is your last chance, but more important, what do YOU feel about all this? Do you feel happy being pregnant? Do you want to keep the baby even if your boyfriend doesn't want it? If you do, then keep it, but let it be ... (read in full...)
Is my g/f's job a potential problem for our relationship?
Q. My girlfriend has started working at a nightclub (as an assistant manager.) Not a stripclub, but a dance club. She's a recording artist and is well known in the entertainment scene here. I'm really not interested in dating a woman who is at the ...
A. 6 January 2008: Ok, I understand how you think, she asked you to quit and then she should do the same for you. Somehow that would seem fair, I suppose. But it seems as if she has now changed her mind and want to do this after all, and then I think there is not much ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 3 yrs don't want his father to know we are dating! How can I make him relax about this so that we don't have to hide??
Q. I've been going out with the same guy for 3 years. He's very commitment-phobic, and likes to keep his distance so he doesn't feel too tied down, but I know he still loves me. We'll see eachother maybe 3 times in a month, which is fine for me because ...
A. 6 January 2008: I'm sorry to be harsch now, but I think your boyfriend is acting like a coward. How old is he? Why can't he stand upp for himself to his dad? If you have been together 3 years then you are having something serious and you have the right to be part ... (read in full...)
I feel low, and hurt, and very very lonely. And I don't know what to do to get out this rut. Help me..
Q. My boyfriend has just dumped me after several months of treating me like dirt on his shoe, this is only my own conclusion after a lot of talking to friends, until now I believed greatly the whole problems in the relationship, and the reason for the ...
A. 6 January 2008: Hi again, you sound much better now, good to hear. It is good you stood up for yourself telling him that you didn’t appreciate the way he treated you. It feels much better when being able to do that and it will make the healing process much easier. ... (read in full...)
Is my g/f's job a potential problem for our relationship?
Q. My girlfriend has started working at a nightclub (as an assistant manager.) Not a stripclub, but a dance club. She's a recording artist and is well known in the entertainment scene here. I'm really not interested in dating a woman who is at the ...
A. 6 January 2008: I don't think you should try and stop her from working at the club. If you can't stand her choice of profession I think you must leave the relationship. Imagine you would ask her to quit and she does because she loves you now, how do you think she ... (read in full...)
Is this long distance relationship worth persuing?
Q. I have a male friend, we've been friends for about almost 2 years now, we get on really well, but I wouldnt say we are super close - defo a good friendship there tho. When we meet up we just have such a laugh, he always asks me how things are going ...
A. 6 January 2008: I think you should continue being his friend but if things get hotter, make sure he is not only going through a crisis with his girlfriend and is (sub?)consciously using you as a temopary getaway. If he is having a troublesome relationship right now ... (read in full...)
We both said, "I love you". Now I am confused.
Q. hi, i am 15 years old and me and this boy we're almost there..i mean we were very close to being boyfriend and girlfriend but we only knew each other for 3 months.One day he told me that he loved me and i asked him how could you love someone that ...
A. 6 January 2008: He sounds like a very serious guy and I don't doubt for a second that he really likes you a lot. He might have felt a little stupid and disappointed when realizing things weren't so clear as he thought about you two and therefor now he is ... (read in full...)
Is this guy really sincere? He has not text me in months.
Q. Ages ago, I met a guy. We met at an after party and really hit it off. Lots of chemistry and sparks. He bought me a drink, and we had a nice chat together. He had a smashing sense of humour, not to mention completeply gorgeous. Forgot to get ...
A. 6 January 2008: If you like him, give him a chance. I agree though that the first thing you should do before deciding what you want is to get an explanation on why he just disappeared before. You can ask in a casual way if you don't feel like being accusive. Tell ... (read in full...)
I can't find an opportunity to buy condoms as our parents are restrictive, and I am also afraid they will not accept my bf of different race!
Q. ok so it is not that we are embarrassed to buy condoms it is that every were we go our parents are there so we don't get the time to buy them and when we are alone we are not in a store to buy them.what should i do because if i tell my dad that i ...
A. 6 January 2008: I don't know how the medical care system works where you are, but if they have a special unit for teenagers, go there. They are under secrecy and will not tell your parents, and they can provide you with condoms as well as good advice on sex and ... (read in full...)
I feel low, and hurt, and very very lonely. And I don't know what to do to get out this rut. Help me..
Q. My boyfriend has just dumped me after several months of treating me like dirt on his shoe, this is only my own conclusion after a lot of talking to friends, until now I believed greatly the whole problems in the relationship, and the reason for the ...
A. 6 January 2008: Hi,
It is awful your boyfriends have said such terrible things to you, even if they thought so they shouldn’t have said this. No good man would treat you like that. You are not a pathetic wreck, you are a good, passionate person who wants to be love... (read in full...)
I was so afraid of being hurt again I decided to live with someone I didn't love. Now I no longer think this is right and I want to end it but I don't know how?
Q. I have been with my partner for 11years. He is 15 years older than me (im 32)We got together when I had a bad split from my ex - I knew at the time it was a rebound thing and even told him this, but we got on well and even though there was no ...
A. 5 January 2008: I think you should tell him about how you feel. I understand very well when you say you just want to be happy and have a loving relationship and this is what HE wants too. I do understand how your previous hurt could cause you to make this decision ... (read in full...)
A True Blonde
Q. My partner, a natural blonde, and I drove into town. She had some shopping to do at one end of town and me the other. We arranged to meet back at the car in about an hour's time. I got back first, got into the car, switched on the radio and st...
A. 5 January 2008: The other night I was at a friend’s house watching a movie on dvd, her husband was there too and after about 1 hour he started looking really stressed. We asked him what’s wrong? Oh, he said, why don't dvd:s have commercial breaks, I'm dying to have ... (read in full...)
He said he didn't like me, but keeps looking at me...
Q. i sent this new guy on my bus a note saying i liked him but he cheked that he didnt like me. but he also keeps looking at me. does this mean he still likes me? if he does y would he do that?...
A. 13 October 2007: Hi,
You are very brave! Probably he is a little embarrassed only and maybe afraid you might have made a joke with him. Ask him again. If he says no again, it is his loss.
Good luck, tell us how it goes!... (read in full...)
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