A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Is it possible for be to get back with my ex? We didnt leave it on bad terms and i have seen her a few times since we split up. But i know she wasnt happy the way the relationship was and she said she just wasnt been herself and felt so sad. We have been out together, just the two of us. I told her how i felt about her the other night and she said she isnt able to say she wants us to be together. Is the best way to just be friends and see if anything develops? I feel like we both need to be the people we used to be at the beginning.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks. She has told me she still really cares for me and i will always have a place in her heart. We were so happy together in the begginning and i know that i have changed and so did the relationship between us. My thoughts are that i need to move on with my life but i want to become more of the person i was and possibly give it another go with her, she means so much to me and i feel like we should be together because we got on really well. She was the one that told me she really wants us to be friends, when i said im happy to be friends she said im glad we are still friends. I just find it difficult to beilieve that when you go from been in a relationship to been just friends that the feelings disappear. I can only hope that by spending time with each other as friends will bring us back together, when she sees that i have changed!
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (26 June 2008):
 Thats quite sad. But i guess if you want to stay friends, and you can keep it at that in your own head, then its worth a go.
But i know where your ex is coming from. I split with someone. I didn't like the person the relationship had made me become. I was miserable in it. He put a lot of pressure on me to stay friends with him, and we managed it for a few months, but to be honest, i was perfectly clear to him i wouldn't ever give it another go, but i knew deep down, he wasn't listening and ultimately hoped one day we would get back together. Now i wont have any contact with him. If i saw him in the street, i would say hi, but i have no interest in being mates with him. Which ive told him. He tried ringing last week twice, i didn't answer. Sometimes its better to cut off all contact and get on with your lives.
If you can accept just being mates, and possibly not being anything more, then go for it. But dont pressure her for more, because it will drive her away for good eventually.
C xxxx
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A
male
reader, theOC  +, writes (26 June 2008):
It is possible, but the relationship has failed once. If you want to get back with her, being friends is a step, but you shouldn't wait forever. It's possible that you will only develop an even greater friendship which may not be your intended goal. I suggest that you go about it as friends and if you two were meant to be together, it will happen.
Until then, don't be friends with her for the purpose of getting back with her. Be friends with her for the sake of being friends. Best of luck to ya.
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