I'm in my own private hell over a married man I never let into my life. Why does doing the right thing hurt so bad?
Q. I am married. I began to have feelings for another man who is also married. He approached me for a relationship but I said nothing, not wanting to hurt him but also not wanting him to know about my feelings. I just could not bring myself to betray ...
A. 10 April 2008: Hey there! Well I posted a very similar question here a good few months ago now. So I guess I can comment from a position of some experience.
How and when you can move on from this depends on you-everyonee's different and will deal with stuff li... (read in full...)
Will only one emergency contraceptive pill have the right effect, as I've lost the second one?!
Q. I am 15 I have a urgent question about the emergency contraceptive pill. 3 nights ago I had unprotected sex and I don't think the guy came/ ejaculated. Just to be safe the next morning approx. 8 hours later I bought an emergency contraceptive ...
A. 8 April 2008: Hi there! I know things must be very scary for you right now. You really must see a Doctor or a clinic that you can go to in confidence-is there an older friend, aunt, teacher that you can speak to about this? Perhaps they can go with you? ... (read in full...)
I don't like public affection, but my boyfriend does. What should I do?
Q. I've never been one to like doing anything in public. Things that might make me look out of place. (Which is odd, because I am such a metalhead, wearing black band shirts, chains, spikes etc. [and just because I said that doesn't mean you get to ...
A. 8 April 2008: I had an ex like that, (not a metalhead, but the public affection bit!)...
Anyway, I'm not sure it should be something to worry about in particular-you're different people who like different things, even if you have lots in common! Just enjoy ea... (read in full...)
My ex cheated but he really, really loves me! I'm so confused....can it work?
Q. My ex cheated on me in september, and the girl he was with told me in december. he denied it.. i finaly got it out of him when i had solid evidence. i stayed with him, but broke up with him in january until march.... we were not really broken up, we ...
A. 8 April 2008: Hard as it may be, I'd say move on. There are (believe it or not) guys out there who would never do that to you and you deserve no less. You'll probably always have doubts if you stay with him-what kind of relationship would that be? Best of ... (read in full...)
How do I let him down gently without being too harsh?
Q. I used to date this guy (james) who, at the time i thought was wonderful - he treated me with respect and cared for me. Then he cheated, so i dumped him. I'd liked this other guy (steve) for a while when i was with james, and so i made a move on him ...
A. 8 April 2008: yeah, agree with the previous answer-tell him straight-don't even bother about the 'gently' thing-blokes tend not to 'get' that! don't be nasty tho' cos it can backfire-even if none of wot happened was down to you in the first place (blokes can be ... (read in full...)
How do I remind myself not to stare at other women?
Q. How do I remind myself not to stare at other women? My wife refuses to go in public with me because she feels so disrespected. It is an unconscious behavior for me that I always do even when she reminds me not to....
A. 8 April 2008: Easy-Just don't do it! Man, unless you have some 'issues' it really ain't that hard not to-or is it a symptom of something else? ... (read in full...)
We differ in our attitude to fidelity. What can I do here?
Q. I have been living with my girlfriend for 8 years now. She has 2 boys 10 and 12 years old that only really know me as their dad. We have had some rough times in the past, partly because she suffers from SAD (seasonal affective disorder) and partly ...
A. 8 April 2008: Maybe the very fact that you're asking the question answers the question you ask. I guess it comes down to how far you'll let it go. It seems obvious that she won't be faithful. Can you continue to handle that? And more to the point, even if y... (read in full...)
Why does it take days for a guy to call or text message you back?
Q. Why does it take days for a guy to call or text message you back? Does this often signify that he has a girlfriend? Or just super busy...or uninterested. ...
A. 8 April 2008: Hmmmm-good question! If it was me, being busy is no excuse. Not being interested is another matter! sometimes being seen to be too keen can be a hurdle for guys-ironically, especially if they really like you, they may take longer to respond! in f... (read in full...)
I work with a guy I really like, but now we can't even look at each other.
Q. Okay where to start, i met this lad around college and we also work together, was great we got chatting on myspace then he gave me msn was all going well, there was a college party there and it was also my birthday, i had a rather huge amount to ...
A. 8 April 2008: OK I know this probably sounds harsh but forget him. You don't want or need a guy like that-he's playing with your feelings and no decent guy would do that. Hold your head up high and put it down to experience. Why should you feel you can't wo... (read in full...)
What should I do about my exhusband who is lonely and very depressed...
Q. I ended a 20 year marriage over a year ago because my exhusband was often very difficult to talk to. He never really got on with our children either for the same reasons. I felt confused for many years being a very young mum and married too youn...
A. 8 April 2008: First of all, you shouldn't be feeling bad about what seems to me like the right decision. There's quite a lot going on here so I won't patronise you by attempting to answer all of it. What I will say is that I left my ex about six months ago ... (read in full...)
I discovered an e-mail my husband sent to a prostitute. He's agreed to a date in a hotel!!
Q. I have been married for 10 years. My husband has been loving and respectful. He has been working in the Middle east for the last 6 months, and I have seen him about once a month. But about a month ago, on the last visit home, something about his ...
A. 3 April 2008: I agree with the last 'aunt' - you've gotta confront him or it'll just tear you up more than it already has.
If he's a decent bloke, he should accept how you feel, take it on board and stop.
Truly sorry to hear that it's happening tho' - wish ... (read in full...)
Do you think you can fall in love that fast?
Q. I'm 15 and I have a awsome boyfriend he's all I could ever ask for . My friend has an awsome bf too. I swear to the good lord above that I fell in love with him in a week or two and My friend says she feels the same about her guy .... All of our ...
A. 3 April 2008: No, you can't always fall in love that fast...sometimes it's faster! It's staying in love that's the tricky bit!
Fingers crossed one day you friends will realise that too! ... (read in full...)
My unwanted boyfriend is literally in love with me....so how do I break it off?
Q. ok...well i have a new boyfriend everything was good at first...but now hes not attractive or anything to me anymore and i want to end it, but i dont know..and i like somebody alot. i kind of love them and they make me laugh, there sweet and just ...
A. 3 April 2008: do what my ex's did to me, just start ignoring him! he'll get the vibes and move on! oh and no mixed signals please (guys get really confused with that!)... (read in full...)
How do I get my equality and power back in this marriage, and how do I deal with his threats of divorce?
Q. Im in need of major advice: My hubby and I just got married last fall, and already he's been threatening with divorce. Begging of this year we have moved to the US due to his work and thus I am a housewife since I am unable to work since ...
A. 3 April 2008: I really, really feel for you.
OK, so I can't answer your question directly, I can only speak from my own experience. The fact that he's speaking about divorce and seems to be using that as a weapon, for whatever (it seems to me petty) reason, ... (read in full...)
I cant stop thinking about a night of wild sex I had with a good friend
Q. i cant stop thinking about a night of wild sex i had with a good friend. we still speak normally but now and again i have phone or text sex with him. I am crazy about him. but is it because of sex or is it love? i dont always think about him that w...
A. 3 April 2008: Hiya! It kinda sounds like to me that this guy ain't sure. That's not a bad thing cos it may just take you to make the first move so he is sure!
It's easy to say but hard to do-tell him or show him how you feel. However it works out, at least yo... (read in full...)
Any advice on how to seduce her (the wife of my best friend) at the earliest?
Q. I am in love with wife of my best friend. She have two kids.I alwayes thinking about her.Ocasionally she touched me in normal maner.she hold my hand while she joking with me.Even she wanted to dance with me during valentine party in presence of her ...
A. 2 April 2008: hmmmm-seen a very similar 'question' a while ago.
you really don't have to ask-it's kinda obvious...... (read in full...)
Am I just kidding myself that we're good together?
Q. I have been with my bf for 3 years, I love him more then anything, but some times he really does talk down to me and I feel really low from this. If I spoke the same way to him, he seems to still be able to turn things around, and I still end up ...
A. 2 April 2008: Yes it does happen in other relationships but no, if he's not treating you as an equal, it doesn't sound quite right to me. I did the same thing to my ex until she made me realise what a pretentious git I was being and I know a female friend who had ... (read in full...)
Star signs, help this capricorn guy figure out his compatible signs!
Q. Hi I am a capricorn guy what are chance are if I went with aries female or sagittaris female will it be sucessfull or not? thanks....
A. 2 April 2008: Whether you get on or not will have nothing to do with star signs dude-be yourself, not whatever a capricorn is supposed to be, and take it from there. all the best... (read in full...)
Have I lost my lust for life?
Q. Please help.... I have been with my partner for 9 years and we can't stop fighting! We argue every day about sommthing - i am so bored in the relationship and i know he is too - we very quickly escalate into full hatred and he has called me so...
A. 3 November 2007: Having felt trapped too I can maybe understand how you're feeling. For me what it came down to was whether the love we had or didn't have was enough anymore. That's something you have to work out, head and heart. It ain't easy, That's for sure.... (read in full...)
How do I get a vibrator
Q. ive just turned 14. ive been masturbating for about a year and havent found my g-spot. i use the handle of a hairbrush, my fingers so massage my clit and the shower head. its fun and enjoyable but thats all. i cant seem to find my own way of doing ...
A. 3 November 2007: Apologies if I'm out of line here but isn't this question more than a little suspect? If not then I agree with previous advice (maybe overly cynical/cautious.)... (read in full...)
How do I get a vibrator
Q. ive just turned 14. ive been masturbating for about a year and havent found my g-spot. i use the handle of a hairbrush, my fingers so massage my clit and the shower head. its fun and enjoyable but thats all. i cant seem to find my own way of doing ...
A. 3 November 2007: Apologiesy if I'm out of line here but isn't this question more than a little suspect? If not then I agree with previous advice (maybe overly cynical/cautious.)... (read in full...)
Not so much a question I suppose - more of a cry from the heart - even doing the right thing can hurt like hell.
Q. Does knowing the answer help the heartache? In short, I'm married, she's married, both have kids and work together. Recently we told each other how we felt - head over heels in love - and have been meeting after work or at lunchtime - purely to talk ...
A. 3 November 2007: an update. I've left my wife and you know what? It's the best decision I've ever made. I realise now that the other woman was not the issue as we still will never be together- that was very much a distraction from the issues in my marriage which was ... (read in full...)
My hubbie is controlling, we have a 4 yr old daughter, if I leave it will be all my fault , or so he says, help me!
Q. I have been married for 7 years now and I must say my life with him has been a roller coaster. I have never really felt "in Love" with him.(this I think was because of my age when we got together and the fact that I was very insecure) Sex is awful...
A. 3 November 2007: I'd just want to say that I've just left my wife for similar reasons. For me, no matter what a so called 'good wife' she wanted to be, somehow, something was missing. Since I've left, I know It's been the right thing to do and, despite the hurt, and ... (read in full...)
I cheated with his brother, how can we sort this one out.
Q. I have a boyfriend and we are having problems near enough all the time, we have been together for a year. He hasnt got alot of trust for me as 2 weeks into our releationship i cheated on him with his brother ever since when we argue he says things ...
A. 3 November 2007: In short, I'm afraid It's unlikely you can sort it out. Messing with family is never a good idea- having a brother I know I couldn't go with someone he's been with- I reckon your b/f feels the same. I suggest, and I know it will prob hurt, you move ... (read in full...)
After Years Of Cheating, I'm Undecided On How To React
Q. Hey everyone, I'm a 24 year old girl and I have just split with my boyfriend of 3 years after I found out he had been seeing a girl for sex over the whole of out relationships, about 5 times in all. I've suspected as much the whole time...
A. 3 November 2007: ok I know that this may sound harsh but it sounds very much like this guy is using you I'm afraid despite what he's saying. It's gonna hurt but in my opinion You've gotta move on - especially given that he's been violent. No relationship is worth ... (read in full...)
My friend started self-harming. How do I help her without losing her as a friend?
Q. im 14. i self harmed with a razor about a year ago and then found out that a friend had been doing it as well. people said we did it together for attention...but it wasn't true!! for months we suffered from the bullying and teasing because of it ...
A. 3 November 2007: First thing's first- I've been there too and my daughter is going through something similar. There's one thing above all - you and your friend are SPECIAL AND BEAUTIFUL- don't ever forget it. You need to speak to someone- maybe your parents but I ... (read in full...)
We split 10 weeks ago now and we managed to stay friends but suddenly she has backed off. Why would she be avoiding me now?
Q. My ex broke up with me about 10.5 weeks ago now. I've been going out on dates, getting attention from other chicks, and feeling better as of late. It's been 3 weeks since I last talked to her, which is the longest stretch since we've met. I dec...
A. 1 September 2007: My ex kept contacting me after we broke up. she wanted to be friends, I wanted to get back with her. I could only move on properly by completely cutting off contact. Maybe that's how she feels? ... (read in full...)
Is it true the longer you wait to have sex the harder it gets ??
Q. Hey I am 16 and I am still a virgin I feel worried that I will never find anyone to have sex with because all my friends have boyfriends and are having sex and saying how good it is. I am afraid that the longer I wait the harder it will get. Is it ...
A. 1 September 2007: It took me until age 21! No, it's not harder, what is difficult is knowing that your friends are doing it and you're not. It will happen some day- and it's worth waiting for if it's someone you REALLY care for. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriends giving me the cold shoulder and i dont know why???
Q. Hi folks my girlfriend came home from classes today kinda distant (or so it seemed) When I asked her about it, she didnt respond until later, phoning me to give me some cold shoulder sandwich. I overreacted, said how i didnt deserve that ou...
A. 30 August 2007: Man, if I had a penny for everytime I got the cold shoulder... despite the blatantly twisted and sexist comments of the first respondent, I must agree that you shouldn't assume it's anything to do with you dude. Maybe she just had a bad day. if you ... (read in full...)
I do have a loving passion with my boyfriend, but I have never felt this so sexually charged for a person in my life.
Q. I am in my 20's. I'm in a serious relationship with my boyfriend who I love an undescribable amount. However, when we were having problems, we broke up for a month. In this time, I dated a male friend. We stopped dating because I knew he...
A. 30 August 2007: In a word- yeah. Sounds to me like your bf (ex?) ain't so serious anyway- you're young- enjoy while you can! ... (read in full...)
I've never felt so deeply in love before, I'm going crazy faking the smiles and hiding the tears...
Q. Hi, I've been dating my boyfriend for 5 years now and I love him to death but the initial butterflies are gone and it's deeper, he's more like a family member. His friend and I became really good friends over the past 5 years too and I can't figure ...
A. 30 August 2007: If you look at the question I've raised before, you'll see I'm in a similar impossible situation. I feel for you. I have no answer but you're not alone! My gut reaction is to follow your heart but that can lead to loss of both the people you love ... (read in full...)
If you like someone but are unsure how the land lies how do you pursue them without being too obvious?
Q. A question for all the guys and gals out there....if you like someone but are unsure how the land lies...how do you pursue them without being too obvious??? AAaggghhrrr..for almost a year now I've been good mates with a male colleague. We em...
A. 30 August 2007: I can relate completely to this. In a similar situation myself. If you two are not involved with someone else, what the hell, arrange to meet after work,or at lunchtime- sounds to me like you're both just waiting for the other to make a move! In ... (read in full...)
I want to be casual with my ex but she's made it clear that would hurt her. How can I deal with this???
Q. hey, ive recently become mates which my ex girlfriend, after a year and half relationship there were plenty of arguments after, but it is all good now. The problem i'm having is I feel like I'm having sexual attractions over her which in one half I ...
A. 30 August 2007: I feel compelled to answer this as a bloke due to the previous answers! Yeah it's tempting to have just the physical with an ex - problem is that one of you will probably want or need more. Best not go there dude- It'll probably end in tears - maybe ... (read in full...)
We have an age gap and his children dont approve. What to do???
Q. I am 24 and my boyfriend is 51 with two teenage boys. This past weekend we both had said to eachother that we are 'forever'. Well last night his sons had sat him down and expressed how they do not approve of the age gap. Now for him and myself, we ...
A. 30 August 2007: I reckon it's down to your partner to deal with his kids. In my opinion, the age gap doesn't matter. Then again I can see why his kids have concerns. really do think it's not down to you tho' - you can't help who you fall for! If you mean a lot to ... (read in full...)
He's a major flirt! It's very frustrating!
Q. What to do? Should I ask him to leave? We've been married for nearly twenty years and have two doting children. But you can bet that almost every holiday we have ends up in frustration and near separation, because of his prolonged eye-contact with a ...
A. 30 August 2007: As a bloke, first off, I can't honestly condone his behaviour as it's something I'd never do- especially when I'm with my wife! I can understand how it can hurt but sometimes lust is just that with guys and it doesn't translate to love. Sounds ... (read in full...)
I'm worried i could be pregnant! Is my mind giving me the symptoms???
Q. I don’t know if I am pregnant or my mind is playing with me. I had sex on August 19 (unprotected), my ovulation days were August 20, 21, 22 and 23. I started felling weird last week, cramps, my breast hurt and this week not only they hurt but they ...
A. 30 August 2007: From experience, with an ex, yes, stress can cause missing periods. The only way to tell for certain is by testing tho'. hope it works out for you. ... (read in full...)
I like this guy, but I dont know if he likes me!....
Q. Hiya :) ermm if u can give me anyyyyy advice i'd reallllly appreciate it because i'm really conufused and i don't know what to do :( well i'm 17 i really like this lad who's 18 :) i've known him along time, bout 6 years actually :) we've both al...
A. 29 August 2007: Hey there- yeah, know what that's like! There's really only two ways to go here and you sound sensible enough to know what they are! either you tell him how you feel and risk it or you don't and will never know. maybe it's cos I'm older but I'd go ... (read in full...)
Is it worth continuing to talk to her or should I just give up and move on?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for almost 3 years and she never introduce me to her parents. I kept asking her when and she keeps saying not now and making excuses and such. Early this year we broke up for no apparent reason. She was ...
A. 29 August 2007: this may sound harsh and it will probably hurt but I reckon you gotta move on dude. One of my ex gfs continued to contact me after we split- didn't do either of us any good. sounds like she's not interested anymore- it's hard, I know, but you ... (read in full...)
My wife has lost her dad and I want to help her. Anyone know how I go about this in the right way?
Q. Hi everyone, i was advised to come on this site by a friend who said you lot where very good so hope you can help me out here. Well my wife has recently lost her dad to a liver failure, this has hit her and her fmaily very hard, infact its even made...
A. 29 August 2007: just a couple of thoughts on this-first of all, as it seems you've experienced, everyone deals with grief in their own way and in their own time . my mum took days to cry when her parents died, my uncle slept for a week when his brother passed. Just ... (read in full...)
I'm 19 and I want to have anal sex with my girlfriend.
Q. I'm 19 and I want to have anal sex with my girlfriend. We have done it before and she liked it but now she won't. It is my favorite by far and I really really like doing it. Like 1 or 2 times a month would be great but she just says I'm sorry. I ...
A. 22 August 2007: If you're a couple, you should only be doing things you both wanna do. If you keep asking her to do something she doesn't want to, you risk her putting up barriers and not wanting to have sex. Worse, you'll make her feel inadequate. yeah, anal can ... (read in full...)
Not so much a question I suppose - more of a cry from the heart - even doing the right thing can hurt like hell.
Q. Does knowing the answer help the heartache? In short, I'm married, she's married, both have kids and work together. Recently we told each other how we felt - head over heels in love - and have been meeting after work or at lunchtime - purely to talk ...
A. 22 August 2007: Well thanks for the comments people! To the angry people, yes, I know it's wrong. Since we got married, I have never even considered anyone other than my wife and have similar views to you about people who cheat. I've never let myself get even close ... (read in full...)
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