I'm heartbroken and a doormat when it comes to my ex. What can I do?
Q. I dont really know where to start, im just heartbroken and I need to talk to someone...so here goes Me and my ex have been on and off for about 10 years (im 28 hes 31), we have had about 4 breakups in that time, mainly because he wants to be sing...
A. 6 August 2008: As little contact as possible is always the best way forward, as long as you stick with it. Letting him know its only your son thats keeping you 2 in contact is the best way forward
C xxxxx... (read in full...)
I'm heartbroken and a doormat when it comes to my ex. What can I do?
Q. I dont really know where to start, im just heartbroken and I need to talk to someone...so here goes Me and my ex have been on and off for about 10 years (im 28 hes 31), we have had about 4 breakups in that time, mainly because he wants to be sing...
A. 5 August 2008: I know you are talking sense, im in such a state, im scared my poor little boy will suffer coz all I do is cry, I try to stay busy but I just break down all the time..
Its best to try and keep it under wraps most the time in front of kids, bu... (read in full...)
I stopped to ask my soon to be ex-husband, about divorce papers, he was with a woman and was verbally abusive to me, I think he feels I care, I don't, and I feel stupid, how do I feel better about this?
Q. i feel so stupid now because yesterday i saw my soon to be ex husband, he was verbally abusive, cruel and sometimes physically abusive towards me and the children (all 3 dislike him and dont see him, they are all teenagers) i had not seen him since ...
A. 4 August 2008: Emilys right, the guy is a jerk, but jerks never think they're wrong so you are going to have to get over that and just feel glad its not you taking the hard time from him now.
Ive got a similar ex (doesn't sound quite as bad) good looking guy so h... (read in full...)
I can't lose her! I love her more than ever before! Help me get her back, please.
Q. i have been dating my g/f for 4 years before we broke it off. we have a 2 yr old little girl. i have cheated on her alot after the break. my love for her is more than i ever had for her since we met, i cant lose her. Please send me advice to get h...
A. 4 August 2008: Cheated on her loads since the break? Is it really love you have for her? Only i fnd it hard to see why you would want to get with someone else, let alone loads, if you still love the girlfriend. But i know, men and women think different and ... (read in full...)
I do not like alcohol, she drinks, and it bothers me, I want her to stop, if she doesn't, should that be the end of our relationship?
Q. So I am in a great relationship right now and have been for almost 7 months now. We get along great and love each other dearly, and it is very happy relationship. However, we recently came to a rather large bump in the road, and I don't think it is ...
A. 4 August 2008: Hi
I am very anti drugs. If i met a guy whilst out and he said he did them, i would not meet him again.
I wouldn't date someone that doesn't work unless its health reasons, or someone that cheats the system and works on the sly, if someone i met wa... (read in full...)
I'm heartbroken and a doormat when it comes to my ex. What can I do?
Q. I dont really know where to start, im just heartbroken and I need to talk to someone...so here goes Me and my ex have been on and off for about 10 years (im 28 hes 31), we have had about 4 breakups in that time, mainly because he wants to be sing...
A. 4 August 2008: You feel like an awful mum because you have had all your self asteem and confidence zapped out of you over 10 long years! You are not pathetic. You have simply been in an addictive relationship. A fair few of us have, and its not actually any ... (read in full...)
I'm obesessed with calories and even stopped eatting to loose weight.Do I have an eating disorder?
Q. Do i have an eating disorder? I have always been thin, but when i started my period (quite late, last year), i did put a few pounds on, i went from being size 6/8 to a 10/12. It didnt seem to bother me while i was at school though and i was happy ...
A. 3 August 2008: You have taken things a step too far but not too far that you cant sort this out. I dont think there is anything wrong with calorie counting, and maccy d's isn't healthy food anyway, but if you go on sparkpeople. com its a free site that tells you ... (read in full...)
Could I still be in love with my ex?
Q. I've been broken up with my ex/first love for about a year, we also dated for a year. My head tells me she's not good enough for me. I mean, she's selfish, self centered, very possibly undiagnosed with a mental disorder, and indulges in alcohol and ...
A. 3 August 2008: What a great answer from babyduck. I couldn't of put it better myself. I know exactly how all that feels and its spot on. Its not love, its something else and unhealthy at that. Dysfunctional relationships are very dangerous.
C xxxx... (read in full...)
I'm heartbroken and a doormat when it comes to my ex. What can I do?
Q. I dont really know where to start, im just heartbroken and I need to talk to someone...so here goes Me and my ex have been on and off for about 10 years (im 28 hes 31), we have had about 4 breakups in that time, mainly because he wants to be sing...
A. 3 August 2008: How awful. The night he knew you went out and came back home with you was so you didn't get the chance to meet someone else. Had that happen myself. They dont want you, but they dont want anyone else to have you. And yes he is stringing you along so ... (read in full...)
How do you get by when your children go away on holiday?
Q. Well, my kids (13 and 11) have gone off for a week with their dad on holiday. I feel like a right arms missing! They haven't long left and i'm in tears. I have to be at the hairdressers in less than 2 hours, and i look a mess. Longest i dont have ...
A. 2 August 2008: Cheers Rcn, yes i know they will have a great time, and i didn't let onto them i was sad. No way. Just going to be a weird week. Will stay busy.
C xxxxx... (read in full...)
I've gotten used to feeling depressed and it's scary...how will I be happy again after what he did?
Q. I am going through an 8yr breakup and its been so hard. Its been 5 months now and the pain doesnt seem to ease. He cheated and perhaps was cheating all along throughout the relationship. He has pleaded for me to come back, but I have stood my ...
A. 2 August 2008: Its still early days for you. I would visit the doctor if i was you though, you might need a little help for a while thats all. It varies how long it takes people to get over someone. I was lied to by someone, i ended it, knew i had done the right ... (read in full...)
Does she want to be with me? What's going on?
Q. I'm in love with Taylor and she has promised to be with me and ashley for a year and half now. But found out she started seeing a guy on the internet 3 months ago and i can admitt she has been distant since then. I love her and she loves me and my ...
A. 2 August 2008: Not a lot of details to go on here, i assume this woman once lived with you but moved out?
I know where you're coming from where kids are concerned. I know that if i ever did get involved with someone else, its got to be the right one this time... (read in full...)
He went to a strip club behind my back and lied about it for months!
Q. I am upset because my boyfriend lied to me about something I think is important. I'm not a big fan of strip clubs, and to me, it kind of seems like cheating if your boyfriend is looking at other chicks that are half naked. Anyhow, I was studying ...
A. 1 August 2008: Nothing wrong with wanting to be with an honest person, and one that doesn't visit places like that.
You know now he can lie and for a length of time too.
What you do about that has to be up to you.
C xxxx... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants a tattoo with a bike and some lady on it! I feel a bit uneasy about it.
Q. I'm feeling a bit indifferent about my boyfriend getting his new tattoo. He wants a tattoo with a bike and then some lady on it. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 1/2 years, not planning to seperate, anytime soon at least. I would ...
A. 31 July 2008: Hi
I wouldn't see it as a big deal no. Few yrs ago, i had a lovely calendar with girls in bikinis on bikes. Im female and far from lesbian! The female physique is very attractive thats all, i like bikes andv i liked the pictures. I wouldn't read... (read in full...)
I think my wife is having an affair. Am I just insecure?
Q. Dear Readers: I feel my wife is having an affair on me. Thsi has happened in the past feeling this way. She doesn't seem to come on to me or is not interested in sex. She never really wants to look at me when we do it. I initiate it all the time she ...
A. 31 July 2008: Hi
Theres lots of reasons women go off sex, the least possibility is usually an affair! Menapause, depression, general knackerdness!
Communication is needed. There is definately nothing at all wrong with asking her if there is a problem. You're a... (read in full...)
Should we go on break because she doesn't trust me?
Q. My girlfriend and I have known each other many years, as friends for the most part. I recently decided to be open with her, about something I kept from her 3 years ago, when we were just friends. Naturally, this made her lose trust in me, as if I ...
A. 31 July 2008: Yes i was meaning this guy featured a couple of months ago, and you're back to the stage where you're being asked for a break.
C xxxxx... (read in full...)
He talked me into sending him pictures of me in my underwear, I promised myself I wouldn't and I did. Now I feel stupid and used!!!
Q. Hey. I know that when you read this you'll think Im stupid, naive and easily led, but I know this already and Im so full of regret at what Ive done. Basicly, I know a lad (we're friends), he is two years older than me. I knew I should stay away from ...
A. 31 July 2008: Hey you weren't the first and you wont be the last woman thats done it!
Dont beat yourself up about it, learn from it, and save saucy pics for someone special that you are in a commited relationship with.
C xxxx... (read in full...)
I don't know what I should do if she cheated on me!
Q. i really love my girl friend we hav been together for 3 years in 15 and shes 18 wut should i do if she cheated on me for i dont know 3 weeks should i go back out with her ? she cheayed on me cuz she heard i was cheating her which wasnt true....
A. 31 July 2008: Very immature if you ask me.
Once again, doesn't sound a lot like theres much trust either side.
C xxxx... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting about this 'friend'? She and I are on a break.
Q. My girlfriend and I are on a break, but she has told me that just just needs some space and time for a little, and then we can be back together, when she has sorted her personal things out. She has said she won't do anything with anybody else in ...
A. 31 July 2008: But then the only aletrnative is to let her have this break, and let her take the lead and let you know if and when she wants to try again. After this so called break.
If you can do that, without knowing the details, then do it. If you think it is b... (read in full...)
Please let me know how to handle my crazy jealous wife!
Q. I need advice this issue is tearing us apart. I met a friend online from another country. I find chatting with her interesting. There is nothing being said that is inappopriate. She is just interesting adn from a country I have always been ...
A. 31 July 2008: Sorry but i think its you in the wrong here. You are emailing, chatting and phone txting some other woman that you have admitted you find attractive, and your wife is suppose to be cool about that? This is a wind up right?
Your wife is going to the ... (read in full...)
Should we go on break because she doesn't trust me?
Q. My girlfriend and I have known each other many years, as friends for the most part. I recently decided to be open with her, about something I kept from her 3 years ago, when we were just friends. Naturally, this made her lose trust in me, as if I ...
A. 31 July 2008: Hi again
And this has taken 2 months to happen? Doesn't sound like she's too happy with the relationship does it. Not a lot you can do about the fact she wants a break, but if someone else is involved i would be careful. She might well want back... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting about this 'friend'? She and I are on a break.
Q. My girlfriend and I are on a break, but she has told me that just just needs some space and time for a little, and then we can be back together, when she has sorted her personal things out. She has said she won't do anything with anybody else in ...
A. 31 July 2008: I would just come out and say it. Say you are a bit confused about whats going on, and its because you care so much about her thats why you sneeked a peek.
But i would be highly sceptical about this so called 'friend' also to be honest. She may want... (read in full...)
My brother is hooked on cocaine. Is there anyone in the same situation who can give advice?
Q. Have asked a similar question some time ago, but wondered if there were anymore new mothers in similar situations out there. My 26 yr old brother is hooked on cocaine. Our mum keeps hold of his bank card so that when his benefits go in she can take...
A. 30 July 2008: Hi Dr Pete,
Yes it might have to come to that i think. I already wont be listening to any chat about drugs from him from now on and people he owes money to etc, i'm just not interested, the way he tells mum about stuff now, as if its normal, is just... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for giving him an ultimatum to not be in his child's life?
Q. Am I wrong for asking him to not be in the child's life cause honestly I dont think I can handle it if he is, because that means he will have to be in this OW's life as well for the child's sake. He has no business with them. I dont think I'm wrong ...
A. 30 July 2008: How awful, if he cheated on you when this woman got pregant i assume? But unfortunately i dont think its right to stop contact. Its a toughie and i would struggle with it too. But its always the children that suffer. We as a nation are getting ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend (28) says he does not have a sex drive and does not think about sex anymore?!!!
Q. I'm a 36yr old woman and have been with my 28yr old man for 2yrs. I can count on 1 hand how many times we have had sex. I dont understand I've done all I can to get us there but nothing seems to work. So I just keep asking him why wont you make love...
A. 30 July 2008: I wouldn't mind betting this goes back many yrs to his childhood. Maybe one of his folks put across that sex was dirty or something? Otherwise he could be depressed? Is that possible? Labido is the first thing to go out the window if someones ... (read in full...)
I have pain when he penetrates very deeply, during intercourse, why does it hurt?
Q. why does it hurt when he goes really deep, like all the way in? is he hitting my cervix?...
A. 29 July 2008: Can sometimes be because the womb tilts bacwards or something too. Aparrantly the doggy position is the most uncomfortable for that. But like Bobbyjo said, best to get PID ruled out first. But they would be able to tell you anything else at the same ... (read in full...)
We met online, he just told me he loved me, we're going to meet up soon. But will it work?
Q. i met this guy on habbo about 2 and half years ago now. We started speaking on msn then too. Now he's the same age as me. And i have developed strong feeling over the past years or so and the other day he was tipsy and he said 'sorry i'm a little ...
A. 29 July 2008: You will like Poole. I'm about an hour n half from there. Its nice. Hope the weather is still ok ish.
Like someone else said, go with the intention of just meeting a 'friend' that you have been talking to on line for a while. No expectations. That... (read in full...)
We met online, he just told me he loved me, we're going to meet up soon. But will it work?
Q. i met this guy on habbo about 2 and half years ago now. We started speaking on msn then too. Now he's the same age as me. And i have developed strong feeling over the past years or so and the other day he was tipsy and he said 'sorry i'm a little ...
A. 29 July 2008: The odds are stacked against you with the distance. Incredibly hard work and a lot of maturity needed.
If the guy has never met you yet and says he loves you, you cant love someone over the internet, that you've never met, in my opinion, and a lot ... (read in full...)
My brother is hooked on cocaine. Is there anyone in the same situation who can give advice?
Q. Have asked a similar question some time ago, but wondered if there were anymore new mothers in similar situations out there. My 26 yr old brother is hooked on cocaine. Our mum keeps hold of his bank card so that when his benefits go in she can take...
A. 29 July 2008: Thanks Emilyanswers.
Was a few months ago i asked, the turnover of visitors is quite a lot in that time on here, and ive spent a fair bit of time giving peple opinions, so thought i would maybe ask for some in return. Was worth a try.
Yes probably... (read in full...)
Is it normal for the woman to pay for everything in a relationship?
Q. okay my boyfriend and i have been together for about three months and i just want to know if its normal for the woman to pay for almost everything. WAIT...i know what ur gonna say "hes a feeloader" "hes not worth it" But i love him with all of my ...
A. 29 July 2008: Hi
But the fact you love him, doesn't mean he's NOT a freeloader. I would find it hard pushed to actually fall in love with someone that is quite obviously taking the rise out of me. But its easy for me to say i guess. As the other poster said thou... (read in full...)
I have a strong lack of confidence and negative thoughts, please give me some ideas, as to how I can build my self-confidence and self-esteem?
Q. i feel stongerless with my confidence.i feel thoughts which is unwanted for me but that cames automatically in my minds,please help me for that and answer me...
A. 28 July 2008: Hi
Join a gym. Exercise, give up smoking if you smoke. Those 2 things alone will almost definately boost your self asteem no end. Worked wonders for me.
C xxxxx... (read in full...)
He keeps saying he will break up with his girlfriend but he doesn't, is he using me, should I end what we have?
Q. i have know this guy for three years and just started having sex.we both like each other and have feelings for each other but he has a girlfriend he keeps saying he's going to break up with her but he doesn't.my question is does he really want to ...
A. 28 July 2008: I would hazard a guess and say thats too late. I expect you already will get hurt, because if he was going to leave her, he would of done so, very quickly after you got it together.
Have to decide if you can be the other woman and share him, or give... (read in full...)
Separated and soon to be divorced, and now I've met someone else. Should I go for it?
Q. Hi, Me and my wife have sepperated permantly, aiming to get divorced. The problem is, i've met a girl who I like alot and she likes me. Should I go for it?...
A. 28 July 2008: Hi
Yes. If its all ammicable with the estranged wife and no feelings are still involved. Otherwise, wait, and just be friends with the new person. Not fair to drag her into any unfinished business. Ive been there and done that and its not plea... (read in full...)
He hit on my girlfriends, after saying he had strong feelings for me, I broke off the relationship, then I contacted him, but now he just wants to be friends, how could he do this to me?
Q. He said, he has strong feelings for me...wanting to do everything with me...travel, business etc... He did all these beautiful things for me. Kept in touch and made me feel on top of the world...until I found out he hit on my g/f's found nasty texts ...
A. 28 July 2008: How can he do it? Because he doesn't really know what he wants in life yet.
C xxxx... (read in full...)
I have no drive or motivation in my life so how do I turn this around?
Q. can anyone please help me? to be honest i dn't know what is wrong with me. i feel like im not happy with my life. i have no drive, motivation or get up and go, for life. i feel like i find it so hard to live a normal life, im so disorganised,...
A. 28 July 2008: My 26 yr old brother is going through the same kind of thing as you, and our family is working very hard to get it sorted out. He sees a counsellor because he has a problem with cocaine. He needs my mum to take care of everyday things people take ... (read in full...)
Could someone who lied and cheated on you the whole time you were together still like you?
Q. If someone you were with for two and a half years had lied to you and cheated on you the whole time with many different girls, could he have liked me at all? After having been broken up for 10 months now, why does he pretend to want to be friends?...
A. 26 July 2008: Because hes a control freak and wants to be able to know that he can still keep you as a mate. Gives him some weird warped idea that you would still be interested in him. Which only you know if thats possible. If someone lied to me at all, let lone ... (read in full...)
My friend is cheating on his awful girlfriend... why can't he be a man and come clean?
Q. My best guy friend has been dating this HORRIBLE woman for almost two years. The relationship is on again, off again. He talks about wanting to be with somebody else because he doesn't like drama, but whenever they break up, she tells him what he ...
A. 26 July 2008: And what does that say about the type of guy he is then? He sounds like a real catch huh!
And the secret girl knows about the regular one? Geez, i'm even more convinced the regular girlfriend is the innocent party in it all.
C xxx... (read in full...)
I have no drive or motivation in my life so how do I turn this around?
Q. can anyone please help me? to be honest i dn't know what is wrong with me. i feel like im not happy with my life. i have no drive, motivation or get up and go, for life. i feel like i find it so hard to live a normal life, im so disorganised,...
A. 26 July 2008: Hi again
Definately visit your gp. I dont agree with the other poster personally, you cant just pick yourself up if you have depression. Sometimes, and usually most the time if someone really has depression, they need some meds. There is no sham... (read in full...)
I have no drive or motivation in my life so how do I turn this around?
Q. can anyone please help me? to be honest i dn't know what is wrong with me. i feel like im not happy with my life. i have no drive, motivation or get up and go, for life. i feel like i find it so hard to live a normal life, im so disorganised,...
A. 25 July 2008: Hi
Have you been to a doctor and explained all that? You could be depressed or even have ADHD. Look up adult ADHD/ADD in google. Could be a multitude of reasons for you feeling that way, its not normal and you shouldn't have to live feeling that... (read in full...)
My friend is cheating on his awful girlfriend... why can't he be a man and come clean?
Q. My best guy friend has been dating this HORRIBLE woman for almost two years. The relationship is on again, off again. He talks about wanting to be with somebody else because he doesn't like drama, but whenever they break up, she tells him what he ...
A. 25 July 2008: Hi
Ummm who are you concerned about here? I'm detecting some jealousy issues.
Of course the guy shouldn't be cheating on anyone, and i'm sure his usual beau isn't all that nice, but the way he's behaving, is he nice? Probably a match made in heave... (read in full...)
I hate to think that anorexic, fake breasted whores are better than me! How do I stop being insecure?!
Q. I hate having to compete with media beauties. My boyfriend (23) admitted that the girls on TV are supposed to represent the fantasy of the ideal female. He says they're hotter than the average female because that's what they're paid for, the same as ...
A. 25 July 2008: Hi
Woooahh chill. To a certain extent your guy is right, those girls ARE the ideal, to look at. Thats why they get paid th dollars they do. But they're not a typical female no. But the guy in the porn films isn't the typical male, they are a bit ... (read in full...)
Separated from my wife; she's recently met an old boyfriend and told me it's over, I'm in turmoil!
Q. My wife and I spilt up last october. but i sort professional help for my problems and i became a changed man. for the last 9 months we bonded back again still separated but loving each other very much. bonded too with our 2 children. her parents ...
A. 24 July 2008: Hi Kel
Thats a shame, especially when you put in a lot of effort to straighten yourself out. Maybe her folks have a big influence on her decisions. There isn't a lot you can do now. If she has made her choice thats it. I wouldn't mind betting the ... (read in full...)
How do I get my friend back? He doesn't want much to do with me because of his girlfriend.
Q. My best friend(male) of 2 years(Whom I dated for the first year and half) is now dating a woman whom seems to be threatend by me. Without telling much more of the story, we have not had communication for 3 months. I gave him space to develop ...
A. 24 July 2008: No lying does not work with me either, thats enough reason to not establish a friendship to me.
You 2 dated, it didn't work out, end of. He probably lied, because he's a liar, compulsive, pathalogically, whatever. But he's capeable of it, and poss... (read in full...)
How do I get my friend back? He doesn't want much to do with me because of his girlfriend.
Q. My best friend(male) of 2 years(Whom I dated for the first year and half) is now dating a woman whom seems to be threatend by me. Without telling much more of the story, we have not had communication for 3 months. I gave him space to develop ...
A. 23 July 2008: Hi
I am with him on this one. For them as a couple, if there is nothing between you two, then he has nothing to hide. If i had a bloke that didn't want me involved when it came to a female friend, then i would be wondering why. He's basically sayi... (read in full...)
Should we go on break because she doesn't trust me?
Q. My girlfriend and I have known each other many years, as friends for the most part. I recently decided to be open with her, about something I kept from her 3 years ago, when we were just friends. Naturally, this made her lose trust in me, as if I ...
A. 21 May 2008: Hi
Ive never known M.E to cause that so i dont know, but if someone i was dating was crushing on someone else, had been to the cinema with them and kissed them, i would say good bye. Maybe i'm missing something here though?
If she wants a break, b... (read in full...)
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