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| | bfly36's profile:HI everyone, i happened to have stumbled on this site looking for answers and for persons in a similar situation as me. I have a bachelor's in Social work but feel that my life situations allow me to help people. I was married for 14 years, still not legally divorced. I have a lot of qustions as i never saw a good example of what marriage should be as a child. I hope that thru this website i can have some opinions of things although eventually i have to be strong and decide for myself, i guess it helps to know others care and can offer some good advice. And i also hope i can help others. |
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Would I be a bad person if I left my gf due to her past...it makes me cringe to think about it...
Q. What should I do about my gf's past? I think about it every single day, multiple times a day, the closer and more I feel for her the more intense this problem becomes. She has been very promiscuous, sleeping with around 20 people of which most all ...
A. 17 June 2008: You wuld not be a bad person but you would be a person that belives the myth that men can have lots of women and it makes them more desireable but if a woman does it, she is a bad person or easy. Many people make choices for different reasons. If ... (read in full...)
He wants to "see me" but doesn't want a girlfriend...
Q. Is it ok to be seeing someone but not strictly going out? Ive been seeing a guy for four months, he says he would love to go out with me but as he works late he hasnt time enough to see me as a girlfriend but still wants to see me. Do thse things e...
A. 16 June 2008: This happened to me for almost the same amount of time with someone. He ended up getting my friend pregnant, and now he has an instant family. He told me he didnt want a relationship, that he was not ready for it, less than 3 weeks later, he slept ... (read in full...)
Should I have a fling??! My wife has had two!!
Q. My wife had two affairs, each one with the excuse i wasn't giving her enough attention. How can you compete with someone trying to woo her for the first time, my mysteries have all been revealed already. Ive tried to carry on in the relation...
A. 16 June 2008: My advice is no. Simply because it is not the answer to your problem. It may be exciting at first but affairs only lead to more problems. If you love your wife try to get some type of marital counseling. If that does not work discuss separation ... (read in full...)
What's he trying to do by asking to see me ?? We broke up on good terms...I don't want to risk things with my new guy...help!!
Q. A few weeks ago, my boyfriend of about 3 months broke up with me. Our dating had started very casually, as neither of us really wanted anything long term. But as time went on things inevitably got more serious, and we became a couple. Then a few ...
A. 16 June 2008: Does he know you are seeing someone already? if that's the case then its my experience that when a man loses a woman and then finds out she is dating, he wants her back. However if he does not know you are dating, he may be genuine that he misses ... (read in full...)
My stress level is so high after the divorce; how will I find the strength to rent a new home and then move on?
Q. My husband left me in October.. We are not divorced yet. He has had a girlfriend soon after or before he left. We just sold our home of 8 years. I am left to pack and find a place to live. I have till June 11 th to get out. I am in the process of t...
A. 19 May 2008: search a group called divorce care on i think its www.divorcecare.com. They have a good support group for people going thru this. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend broke up with me and now I think I might have depression
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me because he said he didnt want a relationship. Hes all i had and made me so happy. Recently ive had sickness, memory loss, anger, stomach pains, headaches, and ive had a period thats lasted 2 weeks+. And i havn't ate...
A. 13 May 2008: HI im sorry this happened to you, it would ease u to know that alot of people go thru something like this weith break ups, you are probably depressed due to the situation. With time you should get better, in the meantime you should try to talk good ... (read in full...)
I plan on having a threesome with my husband and a girl - how do I go about this?
Q. i want to have a threesome with my husband and a girl. i've never done this. how do i go about it?...
A. 8 May 2008: first ask yourself are u willing to take the risk of the aftermath of this. Think if this is something you really want to do or is it for him, if its for him, you may regret it. I have met others who have done this and it has affected there ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is falling into drugs again, what should I do? I need help desperately.
Q. This question seems so simple to answer from an outside perspective but for me it has been tearing me apart for months. My boyfriend and first real love is a drug addict. Since we first met he has had a problem with controlled substances,(benzos, ...
A. 8 May 2008: Im sorry ur going thru this. pleas know that although u love him, addicts can lie and manipulate easily. Be very careful not to fallinto lies that he is not using or believe promises. Addicts need serious treatment if they are going to change. I ... (read in full...)
I'd expect this from him when I'm old, but not now!
Q. I just caught my husband masterbating to images on the internet. When I confronted him, he said he does this often. I am a 25 year old, 92lb girl, many guys say he is a fool! I'm a very mellow person, and I happen to enjoy porn a lot too, so I didnt ...
A. 8 May 2008: I had a similar situation with my soon to be ex and i was devistated. I am an attractive girl and thought i wasnt pretty to him. Truth is alot of men do this what matters is , how often, some men can become addicted to pornography and that is when ... (read in full...)
We are having an affair, could he be really looking for love while being married...?
Q. I am a married woman, having a affair with a married man. We just kind of fell into it and were clear that we both wanted more than what a affair offers but willing to see where this goes. Neither of us I suppose are ready to call it quits in our ...
A. 8 May 2008: An affair is a destructive thing, i speak from experience, if i could go back and change the last 2 yrs of my life i could but i cant. I had an affair and it just led to pain and hurt for my family. Im human and i have forgiven myself and im ... (read in full...)
What is the sweetest thing that he/she ever said to you?
Q. I don't really need advice, I'm just curious. What is the sweetest thing that he/she ever said to you?...
A. 7 May 2008: that since i came into his life he feels happier and a stronger person and that i am beautiful.... (read in full...)
All my mates have got girlfriends but I havent!!
Q. I've never had a girlfriend, although kissed a few girls - but no relationship. Am I looking in the wrong place? I'm 17 and about to finish school. Where will I find girls? All my mates have got girlfriends but I havent!!...
A. 7 May 2008: i think if u continue to be yourself and make goals for urself the right person will come into your life, the more u look for something the less u will find it. Keep up ur personal appearance and smell good, girls like that, good luck.... (read in full...)
How can I convince him that we will still be our children's parents, after we split?
Q. I am in the process of getting a divorce and my husband just wont let go. We have two kids, 6 and 3. When he was a baby his mom didn't make all the right decisions, so now he thinks that it will be the end of the world for our kids too, and is tryi...
A. 7 May 2008: i went thru something similar and my kids r older. We have shared custody, one week with me the other with him. He lives close by me, i explained to him that the fighting and arguying was no good for the kids and actually caused more damage. So far ... (read in full...)
Gaining this much has me scared to eat, because I look so fat.
Q. Okay, well this is kind of a personal question, but i think i'm about to start my period (this isn't my first time) but i have never gained weight like this before, and like i used to have an eating disorder, and it looks like i gained like 10lbs. ...
A. 7 May 2008: u gain weight by what u eat, watch what u eat sometimes when people are worried they eat more than they should. Eat healthy and in smaller amounts during the day. If after doing this ur still gaining just go to ur doctor.... (read in full...)
Is this 10 year relationship an affair in disguise or just a friendship? Any thoughts?
Q. ten yrs ago i fell deeply in love with "m". m broke the relationship off after six months for reasons i didn't understand. i all but stalked "m" to try and get him back with no such luck. after about 6 months, i met a great guy who was wonderful to ...
A. 26 April 2008: Yes i believe this is an affair, an emotional one. He is so af ter you because you are not available, when a woman is not available a man goes nuts after her. If you leave your marriage make sure your not do ing it for 'm" but because you are not ... (read in full...)
SITE VIDEO: April 2008 video from Andrew
Q. Been a while since we had a video update. Anyone interested in being able to post their replies to the site as YouTube videos??...
A. 26 April 2008: Good idea... (read in full...)
Is there anything my boyfriend and I can do besides sitting at home?!!
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and we love each other very much. we are both at uni and we find it hard to see each other. He doesnt have his lisence but if he did he couldnt afford a car anyways so to see him i pick him up from ...
A. 26 April 2008: Let him know you care about him and miss him with out nagging, men hate that!! Maybe you can plan something like a picnic or a movie with him. Alot of men get into a rut when they get used to being with a person, they get comfortable and at that ... (read in full...)
My stepdad is in jail for drugs and I don't want to lose the bond I have with him!
Q. please help. my ex step dad and I are really close and he is like my friend, and now he had taken drugs and is now in jail. I am exterenly hurt, confused and angery. I don't know what I am going to do. please give me some advice on how to get ...
A. 26 April 2008: Do not hate him Drug Addiction is a disease and many people try to stop for years, its really hard. However if he goes to a good drug program he can stop using drugs. he has been good to you talk to him when u visit him and let him know how much ... (read in full...)
Do you believe a married man when he tells you what a witch his wife is?
Q. To women who are having an affair with a married man. Do you believe your married man when he is telling you what an evil B*tch his wife is and how you are so much nicer and how much he loves you?...
A. 26 April 2008: I have a friend that has been in this situation for 5 years and it has taken so much out of her. Why do we have to wait on them to see what they decide, meanwhile years and months are passing and we r just here. I suggest if counseling does not ... (read in full...)
What is guys' opinion about women with kids?
Q. does having a child turn a guy off? im 20 and have a 3yr old daughter. me and her dad broke up last year. do guys not like women wiv kids...
A. 26 April 2008: I dont think its a problem to most men unless your child is a real behavior problem. If a guy truly cares about you he will accept your kids and love them as if they were his own and maybe one day u can have one together.... (read in full...)
I am SO scared to have sex, I was raised to believe it is bad!!! My boyfriend has been waiting for me for years to express our love in that way, help!
Q. I am 24 years old and I am a virgin. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. I love him with all of my heart and want to marry him but I am so scared to have sex. I was raised in the church and to think that sex is bad. I am scared that I ...
A. 26 April 2008: Sex is not bad my dear its just wrong at the wrong time. People in the church try to scare ppl from having sex outside of marriage by labelint as bad. Just know that sex outside of marriage has risks. Example, STD's unwanted pregnancy however ... (read in full...)
Do you believe a married man when he tells you what a witch his wife is?
Q. To women who are having an affair with a married man. Do you believe your married man when he is telling you what an evil B*tch his wife is and how you are so much nicer and how much he loves you?...
A. 25 April 2008: I hope ur not planning to stay with this man while he is with this other woman. Let the other woman deal with his lies and manipulation.... (read in full...)
I need to know if this particular discharge and itching is normal
Q. Hi, This is a bit embarrassing, but lately i have had quite thick white vaginal discharge, it doesn't itch, but sometimes there is quite a lot of it - which makes it a bit uncomfortable which i dont think is normal. I've tried a thrush treat...
A. 25 April 2008: Im not a Doctor but it could be a yeast infection and if there is a fishy smell it could be Bacterial Vaginosis. Instead of spending money on over the counter things u dont think can work or will???? Go to the local health clinic if u have no ... (read in full...)
What should I do about his complaining when I fulfill all of my domestic responsibilities?!
Q. I work, I study, I clean/cook the house, I care for 2 kids, I'm 27 and he still complains? What should I do Please help!...
A. 25 April 2008: I know u love him and he is ur husband but it is not fair for him to treat u the way he does. Begin to take care of urself for u, u dont have to spend alot of money paint ur own nails, do your hair and makeup and make u feel good about you. Try to ... (read in full...)
The number of my weight is causing a lot of anxiety and depression, and I can't get away from it! Help?
Q. I know it's not a love question, BUT... I'm a girl who used to suffer from anorexia and bulimia in high school. Now I pretty much just fantasize about being a stick again, ooh and ahh over thinspo, and feel incredible anxiety after eating ANYT...
A. 25 April 2008: I think ur weight is good for ur height, im no doctor, im 5 feet tall and i weigh 113.... (read in full...)
My problem is our exclusive sex life became unexistant since engaging in the "swinger" activities!
Q. hi i have been seeing my bf since last november stated fantastic he was all over me .then after 1 month nothing he never hardly touches me .we now go swinging and he does everything with the other women ,i have asked why not me but he wont ...
A. 24 April 2008: Im sorry this is hapapening he is obviously not a one woman man and i think u deserve the attention and love a man can give. Let him go i know its hard to break up but the pain of being with him is probably worst than being alone for now. good luck ... (read in full...)
I feel so insecure, jealous, like she saved nothing for our relationship, sexually... because of her past!
Q. Is there a way to detach your feelings from sex because my woman's past makes me look at her in a bad, judgmental way I don't want to feel bad but I feel sick as I can't get thoughts of her with other guys out of my head, its making me desire sex ...
A. 24 April 2008: Please get over it and try if u love her, most women now adays are not saving themselves and have more than a couple of partners they just dont say it there is a double standared, she is a human being and her having sex with other men does not make ... (read in full...)
Do you believe a married man when he tells you what a witch his wife is?
Q. To women who are having an affair with a married man. Do you believe your married man when he is telling you what an evil B*tch his wife is and how you are so much nicer and how much he loves you?...
A. 24 April 2008: i met a man that is not married but has a live in girlfreind for 5 years, he does the same thing, he is the victim and she is the bitch. now i am starting not to believe him and slowly pull away, why would a man talk so bad about his wife if she is ... (read in full...)
I'm headed for a nervous breakdown because I can't make a decision about my relationship! She has issues from her past.
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for 10 months. We both left or marriages for each other. We fell in love and thought we were perfect for each other - soulmates. She broke up with me 3 or 4 months later. She gave me several reasons such ...
A. 24 April 2008: Your girlfriend sounds like me, first of all relationships that start as affairs are hard, statistics bla bla say only 5 percent make it. U have ur problems and she has hers to deal with, slowly the romance is turned into turmoil due to so much ... (read in full...)
What should I do about his complaining when I fulfill all of my domestic responsibilities?!
Q. I work, I study, I clean/cook the house, I care for 2 kids, I'm 27 and he still complains? What should I do Please help!...
A. 24 April 2008: Exactly, what is he complaining about, maybe he wants ur attention and ur busy doing too much because he is not helping you, some women want to do it all themselves, is that the case????... (read in full...)
Is a 3 year age gap that big of a deal?
Q. is that okay to continue with my boyfriend who is younger than me? i am 24 and he is 21 what do you think?...
A. 24 April 2008: If u care about him and he puts u first and loves you, i would go for it!!! Good Luck... (read in full...)
My partner cheated on his past girlfriends with one ex in particular. I keep thinking if he's changed since we are together!
Q. My boyfriend reassures me all the time that he loves me and i'm the one he wants to be with. He even talks about marriage already. But I still have doubts about his faithfulness. See, he had a lot of girlfriends before me but there is this on...
A. 24 April 2008: it is difficult to believe that a woman can change the ways of a man. Im surprised he has been honest with u and told u this. I would just be cautious and before u marry him make sure he is not cheating and if he does move on u dont need to be his ... (read in full...)
We met online, only after we slept together he said that he loves his ex and we could remain FWB! Should I accept this?
Q. I met a guy on a dating site, we hit it off. But he broke up with me a few days later because he wanted to get back with his girlfriend. This is after we slept together. I emailed him back wanting to see him to discuss the situation. He said he ...
A. 24 April 2008: I'm sorry this happened, unfortunately we never know after sleeping with a man what will happen, will he stay or leave! This is ur choice, remember he LOVES her and he would only be having SEX with you. You would be second. Think about this, if u ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to watch me with another man - healthy and normal??
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months. We have always been very sexually active and comfortable with speaking openly about what we want in the bedroom. About 2 months ago, during phone sex, he brought up how he wanted to watch me ...
A. 24 April 2008: Dont do something like this to please a man or u will not feel good about it afterwards, he may also turn it around on you, u never know, i think i could understand it more if it were a woman he wanted to see u with. People r very open sexually now ... (read in full...)
We only dry hump so his penis has never even been near my vagina. Could I be pregnant?
Q. Now, I SWEAR to you, I’ve never had a penis in my vagina. My boyfriend and I have done just about everything else though. We commonly dry-hump in nothing but our underwear… and I give him hand jobs, but he’s never cum anywhere near my vagina. ...
A. 24 April 2008: how about trying a pregnancy test????? Go to ur local store and buy one that way u have a clear mind. Some ppl miss there periods like others said for different reasons. i have never heard of anyone getting pregnant that way but if u decide to ... (read in full...)
The number of my weight is causing a lot of anxiety and depression, and I can't get away from it! Help?
Q. I know it's not a love question, BUT... I'm a girl who used to suffer from anorexia and bulimia in high school. Now I pretty much just fantasize about being a stick again, ooh and ahh over thinspo, and feel incredible anxiety after eating ANYT...
A. 24 April 2008: God gave u tast buds so u can enjoy foods. Thin ppl eat all kinds of foods they just moderate what they eat. You are taking metamucil probably to make u go to the bathroom alot to get rid of ur calories but focus on what u are putting in ur body ... (read in full...)
I'm married and I want to avoid an affair at work. Will avoiding this guy do the trick?
Q. A guy (I'll call him Al) at work and myself are strongly attracted to each other. I am married and when I first starting working there 2 years ago he interested to know if I was married because Al wanted to get together with me. We look at each ...
A. 24 April 2008: An affair is a symptom of a marriage in trouble, the problem here is that. Find out what is missing in your marriage, if ur are looking for attention in an other man u will find it anywhere not just at work. Save ur marriage, the single life is not ... (read in full...)
I met this man who has a live in girlfriend. I really like him, but should I run?
Q. ok ppl here it goes, im getting divorced, i met a man, i really like him, he lives with a girl, not married no kids for 5 years says he is unhappy, i have not had sex with him. He wants to be with me and says it will take a while to leave her that ...
A. 24 April 2008: Thanx for the response he makes it seem as ""poor him"""no one loves him and i'm so nice, i am keeping my distance i hope i can be strong cause i feel really lonely and he makes her out to be such an unconcerned woman.... (read in full...)
I go to church, even though I gave head there, so I've changed! How do I let people know this?
Q. People make fun of me because of my "sex life" but it's passst ;; and i've changed ! in my "lifetime" i've given head to 3 people i have had sex once, but it was in a church, i've gotten fingered 4 times.....and i know it sounds bad but recentley ...
A. 24 April 2008: Go to a different church.... (read in full...)
He took advantage of me, and fooled around with my cousin, too! Is it my fault this happened?
Q. When i was at my aunts cottage in september this guy got my drunk and we ended up having sex. I only remember the end of it and how much i was crying cause i was upset about it being my first time and i didnt want to. but i dont remember what lead ...
A. 24 April 2008: No none of this is your fault, and dont think ALL men are like this!!! If you are a minor or your cousin is a minor i would report him that is sexual abuse and it is a CRIME!! I'm sorry your first time was so bad its not how it should be but now u ... (read in full...)
The number of my weight is causing a lot of anxiety and depression, and I can't get away from it! Help?
Q. I know it's not a love question, BUT... I'm a girl who used to suffer from anorexia and bulimia in high school. Now I pretty much just fantasize about being a stick again, ooh and ahh over thinspo, and feel incredible anxiety after eating ANYT...
A. 24 April 2008: it sounds corny but seek counseling for eating disorder, that does not mean u are crazy but somthing inside of u is making u look at this weight thing a little out of proportion and if u get to the bottom of it it will help you. its amazing the ... (read in full...)
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